PepperBlossoms

Did you ever get past the loneliness and emptiness?

to notice how we make connections and say that one thing is related to another. to say that an airplane's turbulence is like flying on a dragon which must be turbulent and since we are sitting in the airplane, it is like we are sitting on the dragon. it can be easier to notice sometimes more when they are outlandish - kinda like how we wake up from the dream sometimes when something is outlandish. but to even say that something is outlandish! I only say it is outlandish to fly on a dragon as I have never seen anyone or myself do it other than in books and movies.

Interesting point. Yes words are words but one could notice how the words/perspectives are changing and impacting the environment or one could not notice and just have the environment change. To notice that we are creating our own ability to notice and create. You are welcome! I would say it all started back when my bf and I were talking about the notion of Jesus and hell, then he introduced me to a Michael Moore documentary, then to other documentaries, then to Leo's videos, then to psychedelics. There was all this new info that I never knew existed before and it was like - I need more!! I was addicted to videos/documentaries/books. I bought tons of books. I started to read/read/read, watch/watch/watch, and ask/ask/ask. For some reason, I was asking people questions like crazy and remembering almost nothing that they were saying. I had never been interested in information or learning before. I then all of a sudden started having epiphanies and would talk about them with my bf. My bf and I would discuss and he had been doing the work years before me so he would often correct me based on his perspective. I then started writing blogs about all my thoughts and was spending (almost) every free second of my life writing blogs. Thennn... I would say that the number 1 thing was marijuana, delta 8, and CBD (and some others that I won't mention on here for safety) - those you are just in a different mindset and make connections in ways you otherwise never did and then notice the connections you are making. The connections are so miraculous, silly, different, unique that you can't help but pay attention to them and then you pay so much attention that you notice yourself making them. So just watching the epistemology/timeline of how saying A leads to B. I would just do silly stuff on them that I wouldn't otherwise do - like dance to noises, talk with funny accents and phrases, talk with palm trees, create a story about the bird jumping off the wire as if it is in a battle scene, create stories - - imagination! the stuff is so silly and so out there that you find yourself questioning yourself and being like - why the heck did I imagine myself talking to palm trees??? you then say you were super gullible and believed they were talking with you (while on CBD) - then you look at what else you have been gullible with - (you notice - my awake self just made up the entire palm tree situation different from how it is now - I am not even asleep) for some reason the CBD stuff increased my empathy like crazy - I would imagine myself as the spider with big legs and then I didn't want to hurt it because hey that spider is a mini human! then like, well we as humans treat spiders horribly in today's society - we just kill bugs when we see them. what else do we treat horribly?? we treat immigrants horribly!! why do we treat immigrants horribly? because the law and politics says they are "illegal". well why did we say they were illegal? I guess it is just asking questions about stuff you overlooked and never asked questions about before. making connections to things. also just having other people who like to talk about their perspective that is quite interesting/nuanced/beautiful. Or being interested in the golden nuggets of reality - someone says something and you find something peculiar and dive in more on that and question on it. also being in a safe enough environment to be silly and think of any thought creating a keen sense of "logic" - noticing when people are portraying assumptions as truth and not realizing that those are really just assumptions taking a deep look at assumptions - may, could instead of is I am still super gullible and fall for my thoughts/emotions all the time. I also am kinda forgetful so I forget stuff that I "realized" and then have to re-realize it - so even though I would realize that palm trees don't drink alcohol or have chats, in the moment, I forgot, and then I remembered that they don't do that.... having a context aware bf (and watching leo) really helped the most probably as he would point stuff out with my thinking and society's thinking all the time - so it made it easier to notice stuff. my first experience - I had 1 weed gummy before getting to the airport and while on the plane, it felt like I was flying on a dragon while being at a Mexican Restaurant while also seeing cartoons when my eyes were closed.. I guess just the craziness and silliness of the trips and how the mind creates these crazy experiences that you are experiencing; or another one where the palm tree's marks turned into eyeballs or my emotions and my sadness - and how I am making myself sad and I am making my own problems (because what is keeping me from being sad other than myself?) what is saying that something is a problem other than me? but to even say it is a problem - to observe one's words, language, tone, posture - to observe everything and notice how what we do impacts what we think and what we think impacts what we do!!

The appearance of truth is an appearance appearing true. Stuff can appear to be wrong just like it can appear to be right or just appear as appearance. It appears to be true until the appearance changes and then what is now "true" appears differently.

look at your definition of "this body" love, beauty of life, etc. will still be there but the difference is that there is no body as it doesn't stop. or rather that the body is infinite, everything. so the perspective is everything is you instead of: everything is other and you are just the human body. looking at life from perspective of mirror mirroring the mirror - using the glasses to look at the glasses, self looking at self. self as self. complete and empty; all and nothing; rainbow; infinite; yin yang the appearances are infinite, colorful, vast, diverse

You don't have to lose the notion of individual personality. You can keep that. The couch isn't going to lose its personality unless you decide to change the couch's personality to something else. We project personality onto couch just like we project it onto each human body including the one the perspective is from. Each body projects personality uniquely onto all other bodies. The thing that sees has a different perspective from all the other things that see. But yet all the things that are seeing are all one thing. It is an odd rainbow of colors..... in that the colors are different and yet all coexist and define each other. The seeing from the body will always be seeing from the body as that is what it sees from and it cannot be separated from that. There is no absolute separation but there are differences.

@TheAlchemist When I took s****** and my bf would look at me and kept saying "you" quite a bit, I was wanting to reject it - both his presence and the word "you". I was wanting to reject him being me. I was laughing and crying. I had a CBD gummy and was experiencing others as me but was welcoming it in terms of the beauty of the visualizations as well as the sadness for having hurt others (myself) and replaying the experience of others as me over and over again in my head. (also seeing elephants nose leading to elephants nose and others as a twisting vortex figure in place of self) I think the higher the dose of the psychedelic and the more one does it, the easier it would be to accept god mode. You can work on accepting god mode even when not on psycadellics. Look at the couch you are on and say - that is me. Look at the screen and letters - that is me. Look at a dog and say that is me. Look at the dog's paws and say, wow those are my paws. Look at a mountain and say wow that is me. Look at your friends and say, that is me. Look at pepperblossoms and blackhawk and gettoefl and thealchemist, that is meeee. When you look at the dog, imagine yourself as the body and the one looking through the eyes. Notice that you are both of the same thing. When you call someone on the phone, you are calling yourself.

If you are with someone you enjoy, you don't need marriage as you are already fulfilled. If you are with someone you don't enjoy, you don't need marriage either. So being not married can be a win-win! If you want to marry the person you enjoy, sure meh, it won't change much - but yet it will - it will solidify these imaginary walls you've formed around each other and while the walls before the marriage were enough to give you some wiggle room, the walls with the marriage are now potentially more constraining and claustrophobic... but technically... the walls should stay the same and not get more constraining... I guess it all depends on how you can cope with and relate to the added reinforcement that the walls create. But yet the reinforcement isn't all that great as marriage can still end just like a non-married relationship can end. If the bond is strong, it doesn't need a "marriage" to keep it together - it will last without that. The social norms that we have created are quite hard to escape/ reprogram!!!

I think the epiphanies used to be more in my face and taking up all of my attention in my free time and now they are more like, oh yeah the other day I had this epiphany, I almost forgot about it. I used to blog/write about my epiphanies every time one popped into my head and when I stopped doing that, they stopped taking center stage of my life. My focus isn't necessarily changing every week but rather more aligned with whatever I am going through and whenever that chapter changes my focus changes. I don't think it directly lines up with week to week but could see that happening as we have organized events on week durations.

The notion of psychopath is as made up as is the notion of deviance being sexy. Sometimes I feel my energy get high and I imagine the darkness as exciting. *Google image

Yay for breaking all the social rules

If life is a game, why is it so hard to not take everything so seriously? Because our teachers convince us school is serious, our boss convinces us the work is serious, the news convinces us it is serious, the pain of falling in a hole hurts too much? Why can't we just relax and laugh at the game - we convince ourselves it is serious.

the notion that xyz is science, abc is language, efg is math the notion that this stuff is my body and that stuff is your body the notion of asleep versus awake or what is inside and outside the body/mind to see a bunch of stuff and then say that those are grouped together like that and this and this causes that and these are similar like this and different like that and I like these because of X. to say that this describes that or predicts that. to see something and say it is a pattern and describes that. to create groupings. to notice that you are doing all of that and that you can do it in whatever which way and it could change everything but yet also change nothing to notice content vs framework/structure - like oh I am focusing on the content of examples of construct aware rather than the framework of it. to notice how the politicians create meaning like - oh immigrants trying to come to our country is BAD. or to say - oh well how is a person from country xyz bad? or how can a person be illegal just like how can a plant be illegal? To notice that we put legal/illegal onto things in whatever way to notice a mailbox has a flame design and to say the flames are a concept and then to apply it to myself and say I as a human is a concept like the flames as a design are to see that all codes/requirements that we have are all made up - like oh sure the "speed limit is 35 miles per hour" but that's because we put a sign there - or to make a connection that the number 35 has to do with the speed per unit time in a vehicle - which then correlates to the odometer in the car - and to then say oh i have to be at or within a certain number amount of that and that the 35 on that sign needs to match the 35 in my vehicle - - and then the whole ownership of "my" and meaning made up from that as well as what is considered a vehicle and what isn't ** sorry I didn't really answer directly and just started giving examples - I guess for me I just have ideas pop in my head and it just adds up and more and more stuff pops into my head and I call them epiphanies - but to just notice stuff in ways I hadn't noticed before - but to even say something is an epiphany is putting meaning on it..... language starts to get weird because when talking to someone - you could respond literal, respond abstract, interpret it in all these different ways, focus on some things over others - - but then the whole notion of what is literal versus what is abstract or what is superficial versus what is deep or what is real versus what isn't - it is all made up based on how you make it up

go to the therapist - anything that you tell them - you created meaning. talk to a friend - whatever you say - you made meaning in order to have something to say reasoning for selecting x career/x spouse/x home - made meaning for why the money in your pocket - give meaning that you can trade it for something else the concept of time - that seconds are part of duration and time is passing - the boundaries that we came up with on a map the notion of country, ethnicity, skin color, species, year, color, tone, pitch, number, letter, language any deviation or boundary that creates division the notion of what is poor, middle class, upper class all rules

construct aware - to make meaning out of stuff; to notice that one is making meaning and that the meaning doesn't necessarily mean anything other than what one decided it meant like all the words I just typed - do those have meaning? the way someone reacts to me - i could make up a meaning to what that meant to see a human face on a clay sun and link that to people saying a human-like god created the world - and then to notice that I created meaning when oh it is just a decoration - but saying it is a decoration is meaning too to hangout with the palm trees in your backyard and then feel like you are having a conversation with them even though you are just staring at them and then realize you made up the idea that you were having a conversation an investigator - makes up meanings to try to come up with a link from A to B when there isn't necessarily one link to see someone ask a question and then another person made an assumption of an effect from that question and then see that that person in their response created a meaning that the person asking the question didn't necessarily intend for to see a spider and then to put a human face on it and then imagine yourself as the spider in its scale with big legs and then see - oh there is a little human hanging from the wall - i'm gonna not touch it because the little human doesn't want to get hurt - - but then to say the spider is a mini human or that the spider is any more or less worth living than a human to listen to people talk and see the tone they are using - and then the meaning we make from the tone - oh his person talks super positive and upbeat and I have been classifying them as nice while this person does not do that and I have been classifying them as cold and mean - when the person not doing that could be just as nice and I was just making meaning based off of what I grew up with in my childhood to notice that one makes meaning based off of info used but as soon as you add in more info/perspective -the info completely changes to something totally different the news pushing meaning onto things like - oh this is BAD go to the gym and see lots of advertisements and sexy dancing on the tv and then put whatever meaning I come up with - or to even say - oh that is sexy dancing - or to say - oh that is dancing - that is all meaning.. or just every word like TV, gym, advertisement - those all have meaning

wow congrats on the career. I can see spirituality may bring more empathy for the patient and appreciation for the shortness of life; seeing beauty in the human body and appreciating all that it does; seeing beauty in the surgical methods and how much they can transform someone's health/life; seeing the beauty in the health system that we have created (despite any shortcomings)

Hmmm well there are some wars going on: world war against covid, pollution, pesticides, money, fires, hurricanes, habitat loss, species loss, media, rising sea level, climate change, equality, laws, elections, energy, mental health, land, immigration, identity, poverty, time, life purpose bugs vs. humans; conservatives vs. liberals; Christianity vs. everyone else; amazon vs. all the other stores; the almighty devaluing currency and overwhelming debt - war against how governments create, budget, and spend money war against ways of living and thinking Even though crops could fail - the world is an international market and is stocked of foods from all over - so even if one place loses crops, there is the contingency that it won't happen at all the other places at the same time - - but if it did - yes I could see war start to happen over that a ww3 with guns and bombs - feels like a waste of time/effort but there tends to be a clash of ideals, understandings, interpretations, needs

nice!

my guess - you are already infinity. you don't have to die to become that. the perspective taken on in your body as it is now will be gone but your body will go on to form other bodies and be part of their perspectives. the body that you are in now has previously been a bunch of other bodies with other perspectives. all the blood cells and hair cells and the perspectives that they currently have will be gone but they will go on to form something else. a bug may eat you and you become part of that bug, the soil may eat you and you become part of the soil which then a plant eats you and you become part of the plant and then an animal eats you and you become part of the animal and then a human eats you and you become part of the human infinity is hooked up to all the bodies at the same time constantly and each eye can only see out of each eye and is only aware of what its own eye can see. when the eye gets turned off, there are still all the other eyes seeing. that eye turned off will go and become part of something for a new eye or other eyes. death is birth is death is birth = change in arrangement = nothing is dead - nothing is alive = everything is being and is nothing all of reality is part of the same body

The stuff we see outside the body is just as much reality as the stuff we see inside our head - both are happening with the sensations of feeling - both could be imagined/projections. There is not necessarily a dividing line between inside/outside the head or where the head starts/stops with rest of world. Kinda like how there is no absolute dividing line between inside/outside body and inside/outside a house - both have doorways/windows See outside world inside head and inside world inside head but is it all in the head or is there even a world... We are part of the world but where does this world exist? In terms of duality - if there is an everything, there has to be a nothing as well.

Maybe I am all wrong but I feel like a girl can initiate hanging out just as much as a guy can. Rather than waiting around, if I want to hang out, I'd say try to make it happen - and fast - not waiting too too long. Also want to establish what you are fairly quickly so you know if you are moving towards being a couple or just as friends. If it does, it does. If it doesn't, move on and try to find someone else. I'd say yes there has to be a balance of both intellectual and emotional - not overly one or other but both. Intellectual to keep it interesting and emotional to form a bond. When the relationship works, both people will be initiating and not just one. (But also everyone is different and what works for one couple/person doesn't necessarily work for another!)

something that feels wrong, not good, unfair, not effective, painful, a sting, a regret, guilt, wanting what you don't have, under attack, sad touch the hot stove, lose the match, get a bad grade, breakup with partner, get in wreck, cancelled/delayed flight, traffic jam, a scary dream, a lost opportunity, denial, headache, death of family one of the ways reality manifests itself; one of the ways it feels/experiences hurt is mental and physical (could say mental and physical are same thing) hurt = a word humans have come up with in the English language to symbolize/represent/describe the above the opposite of well, nice, happy, calm, great hurt = reality experiencing empathy for reality

yellow doesn't get triggered by green stuff the way green does. green sees trump signs, pray signs, karen videos, anti-vaxxers and gets triggered as it wants it differently. yellow sees those and accepts that people are where they are and focuses on other stuff. Green has a heavy agenda of pushing its own view on others. yellow has views but is also interested in understanding other views and how things are all connected. orange and blue get triggered by immigrants, lack of quality, poor people, criminals, lack of discipline

Green - To get triggered by other perspectives and feel that they are an attack. To assume the other perspectives are wrong, bad, selfish. To not see that one has limited information and is being biased. To assume that one is being honorable by upholding their own perspective and shutting the other ones down. Yellow - To not get triggered by other perspectives. To appreciate more information to better understand a situation. To acknowledge that a perspective warps what is seen and when you add another perspective on top of that, it totally changes the picture and then to add another one totally changes it again. To assume that one is being honorable by exploring and taking in as many perspectives as possible and not shutting them out as wrong, bad, or selfish but rather incomplete. To acknowledge that all perspectives will be incomplete.

Ask yourself - what would an honorable person do? And do that. Ask yourself that question over and over again to help guide you through the day or to help make decisions.