Calmness

@peanutspathtotruth Thank you for your report! It would be interesting to know what your previous practice and psychedelic experience is?

I have a question about Kyria Supreme Fire: Should you keep the tongue upwards as long as you keep your breath?

@Matt8800 How did you develop / train your courage? Or is a lot of courage just natural for you? What would be your tip to develop more courage? Because I can often feel in my life that lack of courage holds me back a lot.

I do not think that you can make a conclusion after one visit to one therapist if it therapy is helpful for you or not. It is like judging LSD from taking it one time somewhere. It might help might not help. It seems for me that this was obviously the "wrong" kind of therapist. Probably that therapist had never a client like you but rather depressed people or people with an anxiety of flying etc.. It really seems like the therapist searched for a problem that she could "fix". And for a lot of people drug addiction is a problem. She probably just thinks that psychedelics are some kind of heroin light. If you want to try therapy again you should go to someone with spiritual knowledge. I personally had good success with hypnose therapy and bodywork. I do not think it is for everyone and probably not everyone needs it but it can be helpful especially if you hit a wall. I would rather describe it as a catalyst that makes it easier to overcome very strong inner resistance and to overcome ego backlashes.

I do not really know the theory about all that I just speak from my personal experience. I did use binaural beats often over the past weeks. When I did use those I often listened to them in my bed and most of the times the duration was between 90 and 180 Minutes. I think in terms of binaural beats the frequency is not the only thing that matters. I listened to different music with the same frequency and with some I resonate and with others I do not resonate. I also noticed that the intensity of the binaural beats differs. Some are more focused in the music and others are more focused on the binaural beat. For me 0.1 Hz Delta wave brought me in some sort of psychedelic mind space it is hard to describe it is not the exact same thing but it goes pretty strong in this direction. The effect gets stronger the longer you listen to it and it last even for a couple hours after it depending on how long you listened. Your thoughts really drift completely away. I had a really intense experience with this one. I listened t it for 2h but after that it got too intense and I unplugged my earplugs and I wanted to stand up. I just thought I might just wait a bit. I completely lost than any sense of time and stood up 4h later. In the meantime I did not sleep but I was rather in a state between dream and reality it was very unique. The more often I listen to it the stronger the effect so far. I also really like 396 Hz binaural beats. With those I rather have the psychedelic body space. I can feel my emotions way better than usually like on psychedelics (of course not that extreme). It really helps me to release emotions (lots of crying) and you can locate your emotions better in your body. I really had some great experience with this one: I would like to also hear experiences of other users. But this topic could be the same as with psychedelics that different people experience different things.

Thanks a lot for the reply this is very helpful! I noticed it as well that deep breathing in sitting positing is than lying down. I did not try it in standing position yet but I will give it a try. It is very interesting that you that kind of breathing during you yoga class. May I ask what kind of Yoga you practice?

How could that happen if you do psychedelics by your own and just trust you direct experience? If you are god why can't you? Another core belief. I often found mistakes in school that teachers made. I was not always right but often. And to really understand things you have to question the stuff that is taught and not just blindly copy it because it is from the teacher. Never forget no one is without fault.

This thread is gold it shows the defense mechanisms and survival strategies of the ego 1on1. Just contemplate how do you know that you belief is true. It is not different than an evangelical saying what in the bible is is true because it is the word of god. And if yo go back in the past a lot of people truly believed in Hitler because he created the autobahn and created lots of jobs. And through this he really improved their life. You are on the one side saying you could be wrong and it is just a belief but on the other side demonizing everyone who disagrees with you. It just shows how tricky the ego is and how brilliant its defense mechanisms and survival strategies are.

I forgot to mention that My last trip was on 08-31-19.

I rather meant it like if plugging does not work for you it might make sense to try it with DSMO.

DMT can be consumed sublingual if you solve it in DSMO but it can not be used on the skin because it absorbs but it absorbs too slow. It will probably help with plugging if you dissolve something in DSMO in this case you would certainly want to dilute the DSMO so it will not cause irritation. If it works with DPT for skin administration would need to be tested. But you can take DPT also orally that would probably the easiest way even though you need more of the substance. Of course always start with a low dose to see if you are comfortable with the substance.

@WelcometoReality Interesting suggestion could you describe your experience with this kind of meditation? Was it easy for you to fall asleep while listening to this? What effects did you notice the next days?

My Information is that it is only dangerous if it is more than 0,1g/kg but probably lower doses are already harmful. An impurity certainly won't be Methanol because it would evaporate after short time. An impurity would be rather something like lead what is solid at room temperature no liquids like methanol.

I am not a chemist but it clearly says that Methanol was used as solvent for the TLC analysis not that it was contained in the sample. It only says that the purity is at least 96% and probably 98.6% because there could be an error of +- 2%. It does not say what the inpuritys are so it could theoretically be anything. So it could be something toxic. If just as an example Methanol would be contained with 4% it would actually be no problem. Because if you take 30mg 5-meo it would only contain 1.2 mg Methanol and this is not dangerous because you would have to take multiple grams of Methanol for it to be harmful.

Helpful video from Leo on this topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5ZYV-IMIUU

@electroBeam Did you heal yourself/ others with techniques described in the book?

Thanks for the reply. That sounds definitely very intriguing. I will add the book to my read list. How much do you think is creating spirits depended on if you are gifted vs. how much you train it? So could even a non gifted person learn it?

Watch those videos they are probably way more helpful in your current situation than psychedelics. You can use those techniques to help you slowly tapering of your SSRIs and only then psychedelics make sense. Otherwise you are trying to run before you even tried to walk. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l96TZeZGlDg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7bRGzFt2oE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sem-8FpR10U

You should probably try to at least reduce ssri dosage before attempting that because otherwise you will not feel a lot and it is more risky. So if you would be able to at least reduce it to half than you would get a lot more out of your trip and it would be safer. Because if you just increase dosage to even feel anything this could than potentially dangerous.

During my last LSD trip I was able to visualize a infinite source of love into existence. It was a white ring with about 20 cm diameter and it was black inside. Out of the ring there are raining down black square shaped "papers". It looked like papers but it was love that was raining down. It was in like 50 cm distance above my left eye and I could feel inhaling the love and I could feel the healing effect. Other than that my vision was normal. Do you think it would be possible for me to do something like that in sober state with enough training? I had previously one experience with a spirit. It was a long time ado I was like 11 years old but I will never forget it. I was walking alone in the morning to the bus stop. Suddenly I heard a whisper in my ear. It was maybe more like a hiss. I can not really remember what it said. But it was not speaking in regular sentences. I could only understand some words. It was a little bit scary but I actually enjoyed it a lot. I was really interested in it and wanted to feel it as much as I could. It was extremely fascinating and I could feel how the spirit influenced my mood. It is hard to describe. I wanted it to stay with me in contact even though it was kind of demonic but I could feel how my "power" increased as long as it was with me. As I got to the bus stop with other people around it slowly disappeared. I never encountered it again even though I sometimes hoped in the morning it would appear again. Any explanation or comment on that event?

Thanks for the advice guys. I did increase my planned dose to 225 µg and definitely did not regret that decision. I just posted the trip report. https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/38656-lsd-trip-3-225µg-love-is-the-key/

So after being a silent reader of this forum for a long time I want to share my first experiences with LSD. The reason for sharing is that my experience was different than all the trip reports i read and to get some advice / feedback. Pre Trip: About one week before the trip I started to meditate at least for one hour in SDS per day to prepare for my trip in addition to my daily 3x 20 Minutes Meditation (Morning/ Evening / before bed). I did meditate before but it was only those 2-3x20 Minutes distributed over the day. First Trip: 110µg 07-22-2019 13:20 I tripped outside in a big bush with a tree near a parking spot (~100m). It was a warm sunny day ~26°C. I choose the place because the parking spot is there for visitor of a cave which is in the exact opposite direction of my place and it is relatively well hidden because of the bush. I brought a director's chair for my trip with me. My plan was to do a SDS during the trip. I also brought earplugs to reduce noise in case it annoys me. At the start I got pretty anxious. I was not sure if it was caused by the LSD or by my thoughts about the upcoming trip. I tried to listen to Leo's guided meditation but I was not able to concentrate at all. I also tried to listen to calming binaural beats music but it also did not help. So I decided to go for a walk into the nearby forest and I immediately felt better. I walked around for about an hour and looked for a better place to trip. I found a way better place but I decided to stay at my first place. So I was back at my place at about 15:20 so about 2h in. I kind of felt something but was not really sure if I am just imagining it. My vision was the same than normal. At that point I was very happy that I tested my blotter before the trip so I could be sure that I took actually LSD (I thought about not testing it because I got mine from a source with a very good reputation but I thought it would be worth to still test it just to be 100% sure). After 3h I got calmer and this feeling increased until 4h. I was than very calm. If I looked around my optic and sound was still absolutely normal. I just found everything way more interesting than usual. I was more sensible to everything. I looked at the grass and it was interesting because i could see a change of my visual perspective without moving my head. So it looked like I am moving my head for like 1 cm in different directions but without moving. I had to pay close attention to notice that. I also could control this effect t a certain extend. I looked than at the tree and it looked just the same as it looks sober. The only difference is that I could feel that my creativity has increased. I could see grim looking faces in the bark. I found it very interesting how different things can look even if the optic of an object does not change and just the point of view changes. At one point my vision rotated 90° (it was like a picture in Photoshop the colors and forms stayed exactly the same it was just a rotation of my vision field. I could also control this process to a certain extend. After a short time it got back to the normal alignment. Later I put earplugs in to see if this increases my ability to meditate deeper and not get distracted so much by the noise of insects. It really deepened my meditative state. So I continued my meditation and just enjoyed the calm state.I had to stand up from time to time to do some stretches because of increasing back pain. At 21:20 so after 8h I decided to go home because I felt like the peak was over. I continued to meditate there for like 1-2h and than go to sleep. In this night I had a hyper real nightmare. I could not remember it later but I was sure it was a very realistic nightmare and this is very unusual for me because I almost never get nightmares (less than once per year). First Trip after effect / summery: It was an interesting experience but I did not really have an insight during the trip. I also felt like the effects were overall extremely subtle. The day after I had like a hangover. I thought I use this day to meditate and to also do a shamanic breathing session. I did about a 3h shamanic breathing session this day. I have a high tolerance for shamanic breath work after doing it more than a dozen times ( even though I did not do it in the last 4 weeks). I could release a lot more trauma during this session than usual. The biggest benefits from this trip came after the trip because it increased my motivation to do meditation and continue the work. My meditation got also deeper after the trip. This could also because I increased my SDS time from 60 to 90 Minutes. I also feel my third eye chakra after the trip more often activated (It is like a energy in my forehead) Second Trip: 155 µg 08-04-2019 15:20 I planned to do this trip in the forest one day later. But during the preparation for the trip I felt like I should do it now and at home. I was reluctant because my parents are at home. But I can lock my room and they usually do not disturb me one Sundays especially because I told them I am feeling sick and I want to sleep and do not want to be disturbed for the rest of the day. My intention for this trip was the same than for my last trip: I wanted to let go of my social anxiety. In my case it is not very strong but especially in relation to girls very obstructive. This time there was way less come up anxiety than the last time. Immediately after dropping I do my continuous breathing exercise. This is basically breathing in normal speed but without pause after every breath. I started to cry a bit during this exercise like I often do when I do this exercise. My crying lasted this time a lot longer than usual. I was a bit concerned that this might trigger a horror trip but I thought whatever happens has to happen. At some point the crying stopped but I was still in a bit sad mood. It was not unpleasant though. I welcomed all emotions and hoped that even more comes up so I can let go. After 3-4h I dd not have any visual changes but I suddenly heard a loud noise even though I had my earplugs in. I got startled by this noise but I got calm after a few seconds because I knew it is just the LSD. The noise sounded like someone jumped at the keys of a piano in like 50cm distance. This noise happened like 30 minutes later again with the same results. I just hoped that this does not happen a third time and luckily it did not happen again. Shortly after that it got cold for me even though it was pretty warm previously (23°C). So I put on long trousers and a cardigan. I felt than comfortably warm. I continue meditation in SDS but I have to make brakes every 1-2h because of back pain. I do than some sport exercises that help me against my back pain and than continue. After about 5h into the trip I noticed a pain in the heart area. I sometimes felt it before but this time it was like 5 times as strong as it ever was. It really hurt but I just accept it and tried to focus on it as much as possible. I tried to welcome and feel as deep the pain as much as I could. It felt for me like the intensity of the feeling changed over time. So it had at the beginning a high intensity which increased to a peak. At the peak I could tear very big tears and than the feeling got a bit weaker and the tears stopped until I reached the peak again. This happened about 6 times. At one point the feeling spread from the heart in my entire chest. This felt like I could integrate the feeling. This point was the highlight of the entire trip. After that I still felt some pain in the heart region but it was a lot less. I hoped that the rest would again spread out into my chest but it did not happen. The pain in the heart region disappeared after 8h at that point also stopped the cold effect so I did not need my cardigan anymore. I kept mediating until 9h into the trip but at that point the trip was basically over and my back also hurt. I was also pretty tired. So 1h later I got into bed and I could sleep without a problem (no nightmare). Second Trip after effect / summery: I liked liked this trip a lot more than the first one because it was way more cleaning. I really can now see the similarity between shamanic breath work and LSD. With LSD it is like a lot more effortless to get the emotions out than with the breath work. This time I also did not have the hangover feeling the next day. I just felt a lot more at peace. And my meditations did get deeper as well. It was also interesting that even though I increased my dosage by almost 50% I did see this time even less visuals than last time (basically noting). I am really excited for my next trip tomorrow and I hope I can release than even more trauma Questions: I am think about tripping next time in my bed so I do not have to interrupt my trip with exercises because of back pain. Is this a good idea or is tripping in sitting position in general a lot more helpful? ( I also thought about regular meditation in lying position is this a good idea?) I also set a intention for both my trips to learn how to let go of all my social anxiety. Is this a good idea or should I just go in blank and experience what happens without intention? For my trip tomorrow I plan to dose 180µg. I thought increasing it by 25µg should be safe without risking anything crazy to happen (like running outside around like a madman). Because until now I felt always in full control and could also move doing exercises without a problem. The only point where I got shocked was as I heard those loud noises but I calmed down shortly. Any opinions on the dosage? Has anyone done shamanic breathing during a trip? I thought about trying it out any opinions?

08-22-2019 After my first trips were not that strong I decided to up the dose by quiet a bit and it was definitely worth it! The setting was at home locked into my room. My intention for this trip was: How can I let go completely of my social anxiety. I also watched Leo's video "The Power Of Asking Questions" the evening before. My trip definitely profited a lot from watching that video before. This time I did a SDS meditation from 11:00 - 12:00 to calm my mind. So I took the 225µg at 13:50. After sitting for a couple minutes I then laid down and listened to Leo's guided meditation. After a couple minutes I really felt the come up anxiety. Previously I was never sure if it was caused by the LSD or by me knowing that I took it but this time I was sure it was caused by the LSD. This meditation really helped me to calm down a bit but at the end it was hard to concentrate. After I stood up at 14:37 I was suddenly freezing. I could feel that my room was not but I felt cold anyways I was shivering and shaking. I was absolutely surprised by how fast my come up was because previously it took like at least 2h to feel something. At this point I was sure that this is gonna be a wild ride. I had to put on a lot of clothes to not shiver a lot. At the end I was wearing a undershirt, T-Shirt, Cardigan, a very warm ski jacket and a blanket. With that I only had minor shivering in my jaw and my hands and I did not feel very cold anymore. So I sit down and was thinking if someone would see me like that they would probably think I lost my mind (29°C outside). With every inhale I could feel how I was shaking from the energy that entered my body through my nose. It was really crazy not even one hour in and I already feel strong effects. The energy was going from my nose under my eyes to my lungs. It felt like I with every inhale a spirit wit a lot of energy entered my body. At that point I said to myself that whatever happens is necessary and that I will completely accept whatever is going to happen. I also reminded myself of my intention and I wrote it down to increase my focus of it. At that point I started contemplating my intention. When is my social anxiety it very obstructive? How can I overcome it? I concrete my question more and more. At 15:45 I could feel my heart chakra and it did not feel good. It felt pretty sick. I could feel that with every inhale the energy got into my heart chakra and at every exhale it felt sick again. I got the insight I could overcome my social anxiety if I replace anxiety with love. At that point I got into a intense contemplation phase. I could feel my connection with a higher energy and most questions could be easily answered. I wrote down some questions and some answers. Often I could just feel the answer but it was hard to write it down. I felt like a detective. Some examples: How can I feel love completely? How can I accept everything 100%? How can I give myself even more love? A: Forgive everything. It is hard to ask some questions really openly because I am scared of the answer. I noticed how strong the power of visualization is. At around 17:45 I got kind of disconnected with myself. I felt like an outside power controlling my body. At that point I did not really identify with my body. So it felt wired to answer questions with "I". I always wanted instead to write down "that person" instead of "I" but i reminded myself always to write down "I". I also contemplated further questions like: Lack of self esteem is a problem. Solution: More self esteem by accepting things like they are and not how I think they should be. Accepting love. If I am not authentically interested in myself how can I be authentically interested in others? How can love and accept myself completely? Why can't I get those insights in my normal live? Answer: I am not enough honest with myself. The secret is to realize that there is infinite love and I just have to allow myself to absorb it. At that time my vision was pretty much normal I just felt like a lot more distanced and I felt like I am not the person but the force that controls the person. I felt like I had the ability to create and influence things through willpower and visualization as long as it conforms with the will of god. So I created a infinite source of love. It was a white ring with about 20 cm diameter and it was black inside. Out of the ring there are raining down black square shaped "papers". It looked like papers but it was love that was raining down. It was in like 50 cm distance above my left eye and I could feel inhaling the love and I could feel the healing effect. Other than that my vision was normal. I really tried to give myself as much love as possible because I felt from the outside perspective that it was really necessary and that this is the only way that I could be a strong tool of god and pass the love to others. For that reason I also blessed myself to be more able to receive love. This sounds probably crazy but i was so in the outside perspective that I felt I had the power because it is the will of god. I could do so because I had still a strong connection to "that person" also me and also to god. I also contemplated more questions: To be honest with myself is the key because only than I can realize what I actually want. How do I want myself to feel? How can I stay in contact with the source on infinite love? Is it a form of self limitation if someone thinks a therapist is needed? Is tripping in sitting position a good idea? Answer: It is advantageous to trip in sitting position because in this position I do not feel as a victim. Self-love is the goal. It is the only way to bring more love into the world. Is self-love selfish? What is the difference between selfishness and selflessness? Is it a problem to be selfish? I realized how important it is to love even my enemies. Only than i am able to boundless self-love. Hate is holding me back. It is way worse than anything anyone has ever done to me. You can only be 100% happy if you love everything. What is love? How can I increase my capacity to love myself? Why can't I get those realizations through meditation? How can those realizations become permanent for me? What do I really want? Answer: That everyone realizes love like I do right now. The answer to that last question took me around 10s and was really surprising to me (I was for a second resisting). It felt very cathartic I had to cry some big tears. 21:17 I feel like the peak is over. I am kind of back in my body. I feel innocent. The infinite source of love is not visible anymore. Every inhale is still pumping a lot of energy in my body especially if I concentrate on it. Not as much as before but still a lot. I continued to keep feeling in the present moment and to think of the trip. I do this until 0:45 I go to bed at around 1:45 and I could still feel a lot of energy coming in through my breath. This stayed until the end of the next day and I can today still get some of the effect if I concentrate on it and I inhale through the nose. I can know really see the power of strong concentration and visualization. I am way more motivated to improve my concentration ability and to try out visualization in my normal life. At the second day after my trip as I woke up I could really feel a lot of unpleasant feelings being back in my body. During my 2h SDS meditation this day I could release a lot if this feelings by really concentrating on them and feeling as deep as possible in every unpleasant feeling (Sedona Method). I had than often to yawn and to cry and I could release through that my emotions. I felt since than a lot calmer and at peace with myself. I continue to use this method if unpleasant feelings come up. Questions: I would also like to know more about love and thought about watching Leo's video about it. My only concern is that I would develop like a bias and than I am not sure if what I will experience is influenced by what I expect to happen. Input to that question would be highly appreciated. I also would appreciate a recommendation for my next dose. The trip was amazing and the only scary thing was at the beginning because the onset was way faster than previously . I did not have any big change in my vision other than the imagined infinite source of love an during the peak objects seemed to be in a farther distance. If I wanted to read something it was blurry like my eyes are unfocused but if I focused them I could read without a problem. Has someone also experience with strong visualizations during a trip?

I am starting with Kriya Yoga and I have some questions: My planned routine is based on a suggestion from Leo earlier in the thread Maha Mudra 3x Kriya Pranayma 24x Kriya Supreme Fire 3x One pointed Concentration 5 mins My Questions: 1. Maha Mudra: Is it ok to breath normally after each repetition (exhale)? So at the time you change the leg I always have to do some normal breaths (~10s) before being able to start with a slow inhale again. 2. Kriya Supreme FIre: I read in Garmana's book that you have to be able to hold the breath for 90s and to be doing Kriya for a long time. I can hold my breath for about 100s but I am just starting. Should I still try this excercise?