BipolarGrowth

Tl;dr - Experiencing pain and physical stress, especially as someone with a history of spiritual practice, can serve as a potent catalyst for awakening. Pain and suffering are just as much divine blessings and Love as bliss and “positive” experiences. Today has been the most painful day of my life, but it has also spawned one of my deepest awakenings in an effortless albeit extreme way. I was having a follow-up appointment today for my broken toes and foot lacerations from a lawnmower accident last week. It was incredibly painful. I vaped some delta-10 & delta-8 THC on my way to the appointment. THC for me has been just as powerful if not more powerful than any psychedelic I’ve ever taken. One big hit off of my fully legal (federal & state in U.S.) vape pen is enough to surpass or rival 10 tab LSD or 6 gram mushroom trips. I’ve also been pursuing Liberation for about seven years very diligently. With that context out of the way, I’ll get into my story. This is the first time I’ve ever used delta-10 THC. I usually always get tired from delta-8 and delta-9 (main psychoactive ingredient in cannabis). It’s supposed to be very energetic and support a more active lifestyle while also being more psychoactive than similar doses of delta-8 which I usually use. I started to experience a rise in consciousness rather quickly after trying the delta-10/8 combination. Within 10 minutes, I was closing my eyes and pleasantly surprised with a really deep spiritual connection. As I went to my appointment, this feeling increased at times. During the most painful parts of the appointment when my exposed nail beds were having dried bandages and dressings ripped off of them on my broken toes and I was experiencing a strong reaction to the numbing agent they gave me which felt like my foot was dipped in acid that was simultaneously on fire, I experienced Cosmic Consciousness for the first time. I’ve experienced God Consciousness and many other spiritual states over the past few years, but this was a new facet to me. Rather than the God Consciousness or realization that I was literally the Creator of all existence, I became consciously connected to literally everything there is. It was a truly remarkable and breathtaking experience. I’ve had many experiences with Infinity, but this was very similar to my Infinite Freedom experience described in the video in my signature. Quite soon after the Cosmic Consciousness experience, which was actually quite brief, I began to think of other awakenings I’ve had. I was able to recall much of those states I had experienced previously with levels of intense imagination connecting me to the energies felt in the past. This activated a sort of spiritual telepathy/higher chakra connection that I’ve been experiencing and developing for the past several months. At this time, one of the ancient mystics who I’ve found a deep personal connection with and appreciation for, the Sufi Mansur Al-Hallaj, came to my mind. I connected to him through this spiritual telepathy in possibly the most intense instance of this type of experience that I’ve had thus far. This all occurred precisely as I was experiencing really severe physical pain. This gave me an insight into how grounding and physical survival has the potential to serve as an incredibly intense spiritual catalyst. There is incredible intelligence in the design of us experiencing what feels like a physical existence. The grounding aspect comes into play when severe pain and physical distress is experienced. It’s one thing to experience a mystical state through psychedelics or meditation in a controlled and comfortable setting, but this is ultimately a one-dimensional experience in many aspects in that the physical world and mode of existence has become somewhat secondary or even irrelevant in many of these experiences. When this type of “higher chakra” experience happens, it’s common to become disconnected from some of the lower chakras or more basic aspects of physical survival. To experience an intense physical distress connecting you to lower chakras/base survival while also having large spiritual and higher chakra awakenings acts in a way in which the awakening experience becomes exponentially enhanced. It became clear to me that Jesus, the Buddha, and many other ancient spiritual adepts, if the stories are true, actually had incredibly deep awakenings due to the way the human body can support higher consciousness states during periods of extreme stress to the physical body/system. The pain experienced during something like Jesus’ crucifixion, Mansur Al-Hallaj’s hanging/execution, and periods of intense and prolonged fasting or other ascetic practices challenged the individuals involved to face some of the absolute deepest survival-based attachments and ultimately experience a letting go and immense catharsis brought about by awakening. Later in the day, I took a nap. When I woke up, the numbing agent had worn off completely, and I discovered that the nurse at my appointment had tightened my protective boot to the point that it had severely cut off circulation to my foot. I experienced the same acidic burning pain throughout my entire foot for several hours. It was far more painful than when my foot was actually cut and broken by the lawnmower blade and lasted far longer. I called the hospital which recommend that I immediately go to the emergency room. I called my mom to take me there, but when she arrived the pain had become so intense that I refused to move. I realized that if I moved my foot or took it out of its elevated position that it would be absolutely unbearable. After the first hour of this intense pain, my body began to essentially turn off the pain response/signal. It’s as if my body realized that the pain signal was no longer helping and had become worse than any of my various physical issues and symptoms. At this point I experienced an intense euphoria and sense of peace. I began to look toward death in the most positive and accepting way. I realized that if I died right there on my couch I would likely be sent to levels of bliss that would be unimaginable even compared to previous awakenings I’ve had. Part of the reason they wanted me to go to the ER immediately is because I’ve been having chest pains, significantly lower blood pressure, light headedness, and other symptoms. The nurse who I spoke to on the phone was worried about the possibility of heart failure or other serious outcomes. Luckily, the situation mostly resolved itself although I’m still experiencing some pain which comes and goes. Life always has the potential to astound you at any moment without warning. The unpredictability of this life should never be underestimated. Although less likely for some compared to others, you could go from having a boring day to having a sudden awakening to the deepest aspects of reality while even taking a piss or standing in line for coffee. The most abundant source of this comes for most people through the experience of physical death. Even the spiritually uninterested atheist can potentially become directly conscious of their own Infinite nature as the Totality of Existence without any effort in some cases. Existence is pure magic and Love. What was supposed to be a routine appointment and relatively uneventful day turned into one of the most intense and significant days of my life which has contributed to my spirituality immensely.

I just cut my foot to pieces by it going under a lawnmower today. Regardless, I can still confirm this statement. We are witnessing Absolute Perfection at all times.

It depends on the level of consciousness I would be in at the given time. If we’re considering this moment, no I don’t think I would. What are they killing me for? How would my death in any way further my own highest values? I can still pursue my highest values in this life with much more room to improve. I’m not in a rush to end this current version of experience. In full God Consciousness at the time, I’d probably allow it as I am then conscious that nothing is to be feared as it’s all just Me created in service of Me. In this moment I still have plenty of ego attachment. This is why I would likely go against it. If it came to be that I had the choice to denounce spirituality or die in a public execution, I’d probably be fine with death although I’d hope for it to be swift unless I was in a radically heightened state of consciousness. Ultimately, one of my primary desires is for the ego to be completely eradicated. The destruction of the physical body only serves my higher goal. My degree of consciousness at any given moment alters how much I am to be in acceptance of the notion of physical death of this character. Low consciousness, death matters. High consciousness, it matters less. Infinite consciousness, it is of no concern at any Absolute level. "All that matters for the ecstatic is that the Unique should reduce him to Unity" -Mansur Al-Hallaj’s final words as he was publicly executed

Good job ? This is what it’s all about.

Sure someone can be a beacon of relative love without superego, but it’s kind of rare that attachment to the superego wouldn’t still be contributing imo. All actions already come from the Godhead. It is doing everything. Total unbiased Absolute Love, or simply Existence, does not prioritize human survival over everything else as we do. Ultimately, I think it’s a good thing that relative good takes over with most human awakenings. To remain as humans we need some selfishness. The thing is Jesus’ bias to human life is of course going to be celebrated by survival-crazed human egos. If he preached anything else, he would not be as impactful.

@Inliytened1 I mean I was typing out that in full God Consciousness the chance of stopping the rape might be close to 0% also because you wouldn’t even be able to move possibly, but I also thought that at this point you could non-physically stop the rape. I left this out to avoid making it more convoluted than it needs to be lol. Wanting to preserve goodness in any form at higher states of consciousness is the residual individual superego co-opting God for its own selfish purposes. There really is no higher or lower action imo, but you can’t possibly truly grasp this at a visceral level without experiencing what we typically call higher consciousness. As the ego is reduced and purified, the superego replaces it under the guise that it is the essence of God, but ultimately superego activities are just sneakier and more desirable. It’s easy to become attached to them while feeling as if you have reached the final goal. Imo, the final goal is far beyond any expression of relative goodness or order in any consistent pattern. It is a true reflection of Totality in all of its forms somehow represented in what at first appears to be finite. This conclusion is mostly the result of contemplation rather than direct experience though. My direct experience has God Consciousness aligning with relative good in most cases, but it also has moved past this at times.

I would do my best to stop the rapist, but this is not a selfless or good action really. Selfishness runs just as deep of a motivating factor as selflessness here if not even more so for anyone inquiring deep enough honestly. I think it would take some mostly unheard of levels of consciousness, or simply sociopathic tendencies, to be able to allow rape to take place without guilt. Relative good = that which serves the collective ego of society. If I were in total and infinite God Consciousness, I think it’d be closer to 50/50.

You can verify metaphysical information. You can test this stuff for yourself although it’s not as simple as running some scientific experiment. Some people are probably unable to verify certain metaphysical truths due to health or ideological limitations though if not genetic/spiritual talent limitations. It’s not a fair discipline in that way although what discipline has ever been fair? It is quite possible to put these things to the test. This is empiricism in its purest form. Pure direct experience. If it can be experienced, you know that the principle in question has a type of value. With more testing, you can further develop your understanding. Readily quantifiable is not the same as provable. You can prove many things without measurements.

You are already creating everything that exists for eternity... it sounds like you’re just not aware of it. True power is in the automatic action of the breath, heart, immune system, etc. It does not have to be consciously controlled, but it is still you doing it. Such is the entire Universe. You do it all, but your ego does not feel how these things are done so they are dismissed.

@snowyowl I think your “math” is a little off. This is my take. God = The Totality of Existence God = Everything Saying God + not God is to simply misunderstand what God is and also what you are. Your concept of God is insufficient, as are all concepts of such a thing. Your divisions between that concept and the concept of yourself are imaginary borders in much the same way a country’s borders are. The outcome or effects of having the mental border is concrete and potentially large/profound, but the border itself is not in accordance with anything that is actual that would divide two things. Your idea of God can never be God. Your idea of a boundary between you and God can never be actual because the boundaries themselves are mostly arbitrary lines of separation not to mention both subjects in this case are merely mental abstractions themselves (the idea of God and idea of you). Reality = God = Everything = Truth = Existence = What is = Love = Impermanence = Infinity = Perfection = Eternity... I could go on.

@Adamq8 why would you assume nothingness is something separate from consciousness?

I have a friend whose autism/aspergers was helped a lot by psychedelics — particularly mescaline.

Nothingness is Love. Absolute Love hardly ever looks like relative love, but sometimes it can.

I know exactly how you feel man. I got my ass kicked by Awakening last year. It fucked almost every aspect of my normal life. I’ve since then discovered that I now somehow have some ridiculous synergy with THC/Cannabis. This new synergy only came after psychedelics, meditation, developing psychic abilities, and much more. It’s very risky for me as a person with Bipolar Disorder Type 1 to take serotonergic psychedelics. Through this purely individual experience, I’ve found a slower yet more natural approach to self development. Through all my striving in other areas and trying to improve in so many different ways, I unexpectedly came to this. You will give in to your true nature eventually. Don’t rush the work. A solution may come along as you continue to improve. There could be a very good reason why you as God designed your journey in this way. You’re sitting in the classroom of Infinite Wisdom. The teacher just might know better than your ego. Try to work with the ego on the way to Ultimate Liberation. Maybe you are like a child wanting to be an adult in a sense. Wanting to mature rapidly is a common desire, but it’s possible that slowing down will make the ride much less bumpy albeit not as quick. You literally have Eternity to get this right. If there is too much resistance at a certain time, realize that is a sign God (You) created for you. I like Leo’s concept of requisite variety. The idea is that you ultimately have to try a variety of enough creative solutions to solve complex problems. If your approach is not creative and nuanced enough, it can be a struggle to make progress. When trying to deconstruct all of Existence, of course it’s going to take a lot. You’ll need a creative, nuanced, and individually-tailored approach. Always being go go go toward ultimate success is a sneaky residual pattern from Stage Orange that is hard to evolve into a more wise approach. The ego/Maya/survival agenda combination is one of the most powerful forces — possibly the most powerful to exist. Rather than fight it, treat it as an essential participator in this journey of development. You are Absolute Perfection making itself somehow more Perfect which is possible due to your Infinite Nature. This happens through the dance of Creator and Creation which is so perfectly choreographed through YOUR Infinite Intelligence and Infinite Creativity that it is truly just one entity. Wherever boundaries exist, be certain that they can be dissolved by Truth. Truth is the favored weapon of God (You & Me & Us & Anything else). There are no obstacles once you defeat your most powerful creation (ego/Maya/survival/physicality) by remembering that all of Existence was created by You for you and all others yous. There are no impurities. You are 100% God. Reality is perfectly designed. It will all make perfect sense once you go deep enough into God Consciousness/Realization. You did all the most horrible things to yourself out of Infinite, Unadulterated Love. They were necessary. Breathe and rest as you are.

@Consilience it’s not as pronounced after I’ve had more time to read through it. I give these points a general endorsement ? Pretty good stuff.

As the person directly above me said, I’ve experienced an array of these phenomena for myself even during sober waking consciousness. Much of it, if not more than has ever been imagined or described, is certainly real.

Of course, but this is not always a foundation for compassion in any normal use of the word. This can also be a foundation for a license to kill depending on individual tendencies, preferences, and conditioning.

True compassion for Self begins when you become less concerned with self. self concerns itself with suffering of itself and others. Self concerns itself with these things to at least the extent to which all selves are concerned with it, but It/You/Me also realizes there are no problems whatsoever. Relative good is a creation of self/selves that is in truth just as much relative evil as it could be considered good. The self’s “compassion” collapses entirely under careful examination. If your circle of concern is infinite, it seems ridiculous to act as Jesus or Buddha. If your God Realization has been co-opted by one’s superego, you get the type of immense compassion shown by these figures. They are merely baby steps (although very important ones) in the grand scheme of the infinite evolution of the Self. Ask yourself why you care more about yourself than your mother. Then the same question for your family and friends over your community. Then your community over other communities. Then your country over other countries. Then this species over dogs and cats. Then horses over cows. Then animals over plants. Then animals and plants over bacteria and viruses. Then the life of this planet over potential life on other planets. Then life over seemingly material objects. Etc. It’s all ultimately selfish survival shit, but there is selflessness in every instance as well.

This is exactly what my experience, contemplation, and study has revealed to me.

It’s against the desires and values of our current society. There’s absolutely nothing absolute to this being a problem.

@Gesundheit Regardless, this is essentially an inescapable mechanic of consciousness. What I’ve said above is what I have so far been able to verify through both contemplation and experience. The solipsism question is generally framed around the potential consciousness of “others” which is why I included it so much in my response. Do you care to explain your methods for arriving at this particular nothingness conclusion? I’ve had realizations of nothingness, but they all occurred within consciousness. I’m a bit skeptical of how you can know, in an epistemically solid way, that there is something other than consciousness when you would have to use consciousness (in my current understanding at least) to arrive at this conclusion, but I’m open to learn if you’re interested in showing me the way. Feel free to shoot me a PM about this or simply reply here.

They already took the words out of my mouth.

Insanity is more complexity and contrast typically. Sanity is less complexity and contrast. What serves society’s collective ego is deemed sane. What goes against society’s collective ego is deemed insane. Insanity vs. sanity changes throughout the ages as new beliefs are adopted by the masses. The marginalized builds are always closer to insane while the typical, cookie-cutter builds are sane. It’s always a process in which the conclusion is swayed pretty much entirely by the “popular vote.” Gays used to be insane in many people's considerations. Now hardly anyone holds that belief. Believing Jesus is God was absolute heresy and insanity when this first showed up. Now it seems to be the only sane conclusion 2000 years later by 2 billion people, and everything else is heresy to these people. Here is an example of me “insane” 4:34 For Frank Yang the Father of Enlightenment Here is an example of me “sane” Simple Method Builds Credit Quickly

Consciousness itself, at the “deepest” level, is always alone. It simply cannot experience anything but itself. This doesn’t mean that others aren’t conscious necessarily. It just means that if you had a direct experience of “another” consciousness it would still just be one field of consciousness/experience which is what you are. This is all coming from someone with many experiences of being connected to other beings/minds/souls. Even directly interfacing with what indirectly appears to be another consciousness/conscious entity, it doesn’t really change what you are. Ultimately the ego self that could even think of itself as being alone in some way is just as much indirect or direct experience as the indirect or direct experience of thinking another consciousness is somewhere else. From the Relative perspective, it makes all the difference to understand this. From the Absolute perspective, it makes no difference to understand this. Regardless, the Relative and Absolute perspectives are always in a strange loop-ish dance with themselves.

These are fairly good quotes. Seems like some of them are still creating a separation between the ego and God, which is not complete oneness which he describes as being of utmost importance essentially.