BipolarGrowth

I’d assume it’s similar to reality as it exists in the ego’s understanding and the finite self as being an illusion. You can’t have a materialistic notion of reality without an ego telling itself that it is separate in some way. I’m not sure exactly how Leo sees this, but this is what I’ve come to conclude personally. Also, if you think of reality as containing things not within your present moment experience, that is certainly an illusion. It seems to be the case, but there can never be a way for this to be proven in any real way. There is never a way that that concept will be experienced as the thing we’re talking about is literally something which by definition cannot be experienced. It’s essentially the exact same as the idea of nonexistence somehow being a real thing. To conclude, reality, as I define it, is what is. It is what is true. It is what is undeniably evident. Illusion requires a conceptual framework. Even if what you are experiencing is some simulation or matrix-like situation, it does not change the fact that that experience is occurring. The properties or source of what is can be questioned, but you can’t deny that if there is the appearance of what we call an apple in your left hand that the appearance exists. If you haven’t seen this video of Leo’s, I’d say it’s probably one that comes closest to addressing this topic. An important meta-ish distinction to make about what he is saying is that concepts are actual in that the concept itself exists, but this does not mean the concept is accurate.

I see people who had partial ego dissolution which resulted in the thorough embracement of the superego’s highest ideals.This makes them act as extra good people, but really most people will experience Unity and see others as themselves. Less will experience Unity and see evil, pain, destruction, disease, murder, etc. as themselves and something to be honored as well. Being partial to the relative good can be seen as an egoic and selfish act when properly examined. Evil people will by definition eventually be seen as infamous, and egos with survival agendas which depend very much on relative good action will not recognize them as enlightened. This article does an okay job of explaining some of this if you want more. I have not read it in its entirety, but the author seems to get the point. https://thewaybackmeditation.org/channelled-info/can-someone-be-enlightened-and-still-be-a-bad-person/

Btw, this isn’t necessarily directed toward you. I’m sure you’re aware of much of this due to your experiences. It’s also here to hopefully give some more context to this question of sanity that might benefit some others who come across this thread. People here and in nearly all spiritual/religious communities LOVE to demonize psychosis while also talking of God’s infinite nature, infinite love, Goodness, Truth, moral relativism, etc. There’s a lot of implicit hypocrisy in this. “Sane” is one of the most limiting words or concepts when considering true infinity. The idea that there is a box where all acceptable things or states should fit into and everything else is inherently wrong is about as arbitrary and ridiculous as puritanical standards for what women should wear. Psychosis is typically defined as being detached/lost from reality, but it simply is just being detached from other people’s interpretations and experiences. An ant is exponentially more psychotic under the currently accepted definition/connotation of the word than potentially the most out-there schizophrenic could ever be. It has a lot to do with the hardwire/software we have available to us for generating/filtering perception. Some of us simply have come to be prone to different forms of perception and existence. It’s not that these different forms are wrong by any means. To be clear, I’m not trying to glorify psychosis. It can be a hard road to walk, and for some it’s lethal. Psychosis has the ability to show the true potential of the power of consciousness even more than what many advanced mystics might even be familiar with. People want to talk about if psychedelic states are possible endogenously. Things sometimes far more radical can occur within the human brain. We just don’t like them usually because they’re against our collective and individual survival agendas.

@Javfly33 no problem man. Feel free to PM me if you find yourself wanting more than a forum question/answer context for this kind of stuff. I enjoy having these types of discussions on calls. It’s a good way to bounce ideas and develop with another person’s perspective in mind I’ve found. Not that I have all the answers by any means. I’ve seen you being pretty active on here basically whenever I have been. Your tenacity will pay off — that’s guaranteed. Keep at it, and any temporary worries about the path will certainly resolve themselves as you deepen your experience and understanding.

So a lot of people are either concerned with your mental health or think you’re insane. Shoot me a PM if you want to do a podcast-style video addressing awakening and mental health. People want to awaken but think that is going to always manifest in some grounded and socially acceptable way. It’s pretty naive of them lol. You can see my YT channel by following the link in my signature.

“The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight.” -Joseph Campbell It’s probably not much of a concern for your sanity tbh. If it were much of an issue, you would’ve probably had multiple psychotic breaks by now. I’m speaking from experience. I’ve had those psychotic breaks caused by consciousness work and awakening, but I have a pre-existing condition which makes me prone to that. If you do experience a break related to consciousness work, you can always shoot me a PM for support btw. An important thing to notice is that you were able to dial back your experience of the Truth for the sake of your relative life at your own desire. You were also on a psychedelic then. If you’re close enough to the Truth to encounter it on low doses, is it wise to consume low doses when performing regular activities which may call for a more worldly and grounded expression of yourself? Ask yourself these questions if they seem useful: If the Truth is insane by my culture’s standards and I don’t want to be insane, do I want the Truth? If I am Truth, is it necessary to be conscious of what I am? Would I rather have the transcendental goodie (as Alan Watts might say) or the worldly goodie? If you are God and God is Goodness/Love among other amazing things, why do you fear anything? If You are Eternal, why is there a need for you to rush becoming more conscious of the Truth other than it is simply how you wish to live your life?

@Tim R it’s important to consider science when approaching this stuff, but I’ve experienced some things firsthand that are more against the current scientific paradigm than altering your state of consciousness (even to DMT levels) endogenously. The issue is these events did not take place due to my human will. I’m quite doubtful that anyone is willing themselves into a natural DMT state. When other beings (spiritual/extraterrestrial) are involved and interfering with your state of consciousness or even physical reality, shit can get pretty out of the norm though. I’ve had an intense psychedelic-level experience while completely sober, but it was not my doing. The truth is that far crazier shit than endogenously generating a trip happens all the time. It just usually isn’t the human will that’s behind such events.

Vows of silence have been commonly used for spirituality. I don’t see how expanding this to all other language interaction would be anything but just more effective. Give it a try and report back ?

The problem with the DMT released at death idea is that your brain is releasing so many other chemicals that are already proven which are more than enough to produce NDEs and anything else you might experience. Everybody has this fixation on DMT or 5-MeO causing these states naturally, but other molecules have this potential as well.

Your ego is telling you that good is Good. Be good. It’s the wise choice, but don’t think that you’re more aligned with the Good because you’re good. Alignment with Good is inescapable.

I know it might be a good idea to take a break from psychs for now, but I think part of the issue here is you might have actually not taken enough tbh. Although this was far more intense than your other trips, you still left your ego the option to act out of fear. This comes from a lack of sufficient consciousness. When you realize God to a high enough degree, absolutely all fear will be eradicated. Disclaimer: the fearless state can have legal, social, and other bad survival consequences for your human life, but if you take the proper steps to ensure safety, you can mitigate much of the risk.

@Kalo if the ego wants to die, why are you just giving him a good kick in the balls? Why not nuke him down with all 10 tabs at once? I’m only suggesting this due to the life-changing value that came from my 10 tab experience.

First off, I enjoyed reading this. I wish I recalled dreams that well currently. But be careful with this statement. Money is a useful tool like a hammer, but just don’t become a hammer collector for the sake of hammers alone. Contemplate how material success can assist in awakening. Maybe a good starting place would be to ask, “is it a mere coincidence that the Buddha started out as a prince?”

@mandyjw You and your dad are honestly quite lucky to have experienced this. I don’t want to sound pushy, but I really think this is an incredibly important ability to develop if you have been able to experience it already. Generating it 100% on your own for the first time through a conscious effort seems very unlikely to me, so please appreciate the opportunity you seem to have been given with this. It’s a source of innocent bliss that is life enriching, but possibly the most important thing is that you are sharing this bliss with another being. A lot of the time, this being could simply be your higher self from what I’ve been able to conclude. Other times it’s a family member or stranger or anyone else who might also benefit from this shared gift of spiritual bliss. There was a time when I felt compelled to go to a small cemetery at night with a friend who has some psychic talents. When I was there, I kneeled and prayed that any souls there that may still be attached to this plane may be given the opportunity to progress. As soon as I got back in the car with my friend, she started feeling this Holy Spirit/clairsentience sensation I’ve been talking about here, and I felt it at the same time as well. I’m quite certain a soul there had been released and was showing its gratitude to both of us for being there to assist in that process. It seems that I likely experienced a very similar thing to what you and your dad did less than 15 minutes after my girlfriend’s uncle passed away just a month or so ago. It actually was the event that rekindled this connective ability in me. It had been somewhat dormant for a while. When someone passes, it seems that they are at least in some cases in a state where they have the ability to reach out to those who they knew well. With this Holy Spirit/clairsentience type connection, it usually is triggered by a thought for me. The more positively and emotionally charged this thought is, the more likely I’ve been able to experience this connection. I sincerely hope you get to experience the development of this further. I’d bet it’ll happen at some point if that’s what’s right even if you don’t try to consciously work on it. Any spiritual work you do will ultimately bring you more in alignment with this possibility. The more people who tap into this, the better humanity will come to understand it and how it functions. Just imagine if we could all consciously transfer this innocent divine bliss to each other. It would be a great advancement in the quality of life and spiritual connectedness of humanity as well as any other beings we’d wish to transfer this experience to.

@m0hsen try weed, but I would recommend experimenting with the full array of types of cannabis/THC and different routes of administration. There are multiple forms of THC which all have their own benefits and potential drawbacks. High dose edibles or dabs (concentrated THC) will be the most likely to give psychedelic experiences and awakenings. The quality and strain of weed can change everything quite drastically too. Tolerance can build up quickly with THC for most recreational users, but for me (and quite possibly you due to your sensitivity to just 1g of shrooms), I have experienced some feelings of tolerance build up but then ironically having crazy experiences off low doses randomly. THC has been hard to predict for me ever since I became hypersensitive after my use of classical psychedelics and other awakenings. The good thing is all of the states I’ve experienced from THC have been valuable and enjoyable even if I happen to not blast off. High enough doses can pretty much guarantee a deep experience or even awakening, but you run the risk of blacking out or simply falling asleep before you even get to experience much of it. Caffeine can be good to pair if you find yourself getting sleepy a lot. Sativa strains or delta-10 THC are good for giving energy to combat any sleepiness as well.

Read the text after the first paragraph below this to hear about a significant shift I had yesterday. I already made a thread of this, but it seems relevant to your question. I mean each awakening experience is a drastic shift. They all over time lead to a new understanding about what life is. It takes a number of these to really change how you see things. One of the most valuable insights for me has been that the Self designed absolutely everything about your experience of life in an absolutely Perfect way. Awakening experiences (bliss) are kind of like the cherry on top of the sundae (normal life/suffering). If all you had was a giant cherry, you’d probably start seeking the ice cream and other ingredients after a while. The troubles you have are there only to make things even more outstanding. Happiness is great, but I think contentment is a better goal. Suffering isn’t your enemy. It’s your greatest ally. Rest confidently in that realization, and you will be rather rock solid in your overall acceptance of existence. Here’s what I experienced yesterday: Tl;dr - Experiencing pain and physical stress, especially as someone with a history of spiritual practice, can serve as a potent catalyst for awakening. Pain and suffering are just as much divine blessings and Love as bliss and “positive” experiences. Today has been the most painful day of my life, but it has also spawned one of my deepest awakenings in an effortless albeit extreme way. I was having a follow-up appointment today for my broken toes and foot lacerations from a lawnmower accident last week. It was incredibly painful. I vaped some delta-10 & delta-8 THC on my way to the appointment. THC for me has been just as powerful if not more powerful than any psychedelic I’ve ever taken. One big hit off of my fully legal (federal & state in U.S.) vape pen is enough to surpass or rival 10 tab LSD or 6 gram mushroom trips. I’ve also been pursuing Liberation for about seven years very diligently. With that context out of the way, I’ll get into my story. This is the first time I’ve ever used delta-10 THC. I usually always get tired from delta-8 and delta-9 (main psychoactive ingredient in cannabis). It’s supposed to be very energetic and support a more active lifestyle while also being more psychoactive than similar doses of delta-8 which I usually use. I started to experience a rise in consciousness rather quickly after trying the delta-10/8 combination. Within 10 minutes, I was closing my eyes and pleasantly surprised with a really deep spiritual connection. As I went to my appointment, this feeling increased at times. During the most painful parts of the appointment when my exposed nail beds were having dried bandages and dressings ripped off of them on my broken toes and I was experiencing a strong reaction to the numbing agent they gave me which felt like my foot was dipped in acid that was simultaneously on fire, I experienced Cosmic Consciousness for the first time. I’ve experienced God Consciousness and many other spiritual states over the past few years, but this was a new facet to me. Rather than the God Consciousness or realization that I was literally the Creator of all existence, I became consciously connected to literally everything there is. It was a truly remarkable and breathtaking experience. I’ve had many experiences with Infinity, but this was very similar to my Infinite Freedom experience described in the video in my signature. Quite soon after the Cosmic Consciousness experience, which was actually quite brief, I began to think of other awakenings I’ve had. I was able to recall much of those states I had experienced previously with levels of intense imagination connecting me to the energies felt in the past. This activated a sort of spiritual telepathy/higher chakra connection that I’ve been experiencing and developing for the past several months. At this time, one of the ancient mystics who I’ve found a deep personal connection with and appreciation for, the Sufi Mansur Al-Hallaj, came to my mind. I connected to him through this spiritual telepathy in possibly the most intense instance of this type of experience that I’ve had thus far. This all occurred precisely as I was experiencing really severe physical pain. This gave me an insight into how grounding and physical survival has the potential to serve as an incredibly intense spiritual catalyst. There is incredible intelligence in the design of us experiencing what feels like a physical existence. The grounding aspect comes into play when severe pain and physical distress is experienced. It’s one thing to experience a mystical state through psychedelics or meditation in a controlled and comfortable setting, but this is ultimately a one-dimensional experience in many aspects in that the physical world and mode of existence has become somewhat secondary or even irrelevant in many of these experiences. When this type of “higher chakra” experience happens, it’s common to become disconnected from some of the lower chakras or more basic aspects of physical survival. To experience an intense physical distress connecting you to lower chakras/base survival while also having large spiritual and higher chakra awakenings acts in a way in which the awakening experience becomes exponentially enhanced. It became clear to me that Jesus, the Buddha, and many other ancient spiritual adepts, if the stories are true, actually had incredibly deep awakenings due to the way the human body can support higher consciousness states during periods of extreme stress to the physical body/system. The pain experienced during something like Jesus’ crucifixion, Mansur Al-Hallaj’s hanging/execution, and periods of intense and prolonged fasting or other ascetic practices challenged the individuals involved to face some of the absolute deepest survival-based attachments and ultimately experience a letting go and immense catharsis brought about by awakening. Later in the day, I took a nap. When I woke up, the numbing agent had worn off completely, and I discovered that the nurse at my appointment had tightened my protective boot to the point that it had severely cut off circulation to my foot. I experienced the same acidic burning pain throughout my entire foot for several hours. It was far more painful than when my foot was actually cut and broken by the lawnmower blade and lasted far longer. I called the hospital which recommend that I immediately go to the emergency room. I called my mom to take me there, but when she arrived the pain had become so intense that I refused to move. I realized that if I moved my foot or took it out of its elevated position that it would be absolutely unbearable. After the first hour of this intense pain, my body began to essentially turn off the pain response/signal. It’s as if my body realized that the pain signal was no longer helping and had become worse than any of my various physical issues and symptoms. At this point I experienced an intense euphoria and sense of peace. I began to look toward death in the most positive and accepting way. I realized that if I died right there on my couch I would likely be sent to levels of bliss that would be unimaginable even compared to previous awakenings I’ve had. Part of the reason they wanted me to go to the ER immediately is because I’ve been having chest pains, significantly lower blood pressure, light headedness, and other symptoms. The nurse who I spoke to on the phone was worried about the possibility of heart failure or other serious outcomes. Luckily, the situation mostly resolved itself although I’m still experiencing some pain which comes and goes. Life always has the potential to astound you at any moment without warning. The unpredictability of this life should never be underestimated. Although less likely for some compared to others, you could go from having a boring day to having a sudden awakening to the deepest aspects of reality while even taking a piss or standing in line for coffee. The most abundant source of this comes for most people through the experience of physical death. Even the spiritually uninterested atheist can potentially become directly conscious of their own Infinite nature as the Totality of Existence without any effort in some cases. Existence is pure magic and Love. What was supposed to be a routine appointment and relatively uneventful day turned into one of the most intense and significant days of my life which has contributed to my spirituality immensely.

My method was rather to heroic dose psychedelics until THC became potent enough due to the significant change in my brain chemistry to allow me to have absolutely full blown trips from THC. Then I can basically have significant awakenings roughly once per week in a very sustainable and healthy way. I haven’t done a classical psychedelic in some time. I wonder how it would be to try them again if I’m having 5 dried gram mushroom type experiences from one hit off a THC vape pen.

Psychedelics are spiritual catalysts. It’s that simple. You will accelerate your development with them. Not every case is the same, but generally they will give increases to your baseline over time and make it easier for you to experience mystical states more often. They’ve made my meditation far more effective and enhanced literally every aspect of my spiritual life. I paid some hefty prices for this stuff though. It’s not all fun and games, but it is certainly incredibly worthwhile for the person who is truly seeking spiritual development and willing to take the risk.

@mandyjw Hey, I just checked out your YT channel for the first time today. You’ve got a lot of good content on there. Let me know if you wanna collab lol. Love and connection is essentially a requirement for it from what I’ve seen. There are different levels or aspects of this. There is a sense that is gained which is quite close to what I’ve heard Christians describe the Holy Spirit to be which is a very specific type of bliss that is shared. Some use the word clairsentience to describe this as well. This is most commonly experienced when connecting with spiritual entities, entities adept in telepathy, and deceased people, but it is also shared with certain living people who have a strong spiritual side. This is still a bit different than the emotional connection which can either be the healing of emotions or the sharing of a specific emotional experience exactly as it occurred. The first type of this connection always feels relatively the same no matter who or what it is with although it can vary greatly in intensity. Another level exists in which you can experience all sorts of sensations during this connection/communication. These have occurred mainly in the brain region for me. Pressure in certain areas or even the sensation of significant movement within your brain have been the most common forms of this I’ve experienced. I wouldn’t expect a living human, regardless of their level of development, to be able to trigger this type of sensation in you. I’ve not experienced this with deceased humans either. It’s quite amazing how diverse these types of spiritual/emotional telepathy can be. I’m sure many other forms have been experienced by others than just what I’ve described here. I would definitely try to develop what you experienced with your grandmother if I were you. For me the connection was cultivated with a specific being/group of beings before it became more generally accessible to me. Your connection with your grandmother is certainly very special if this is the only case it has occurred in for you. Focusing on thoughts of appreciation and love for her would be the best shot for you to tap into this more in the future I would imagine. If it ends up the same for you as it has for me, this would be the first step toward being able to connect in this manner with a variety of spiritual guides, mystics, or beings you have a unique relationship with beyond any limitations of space or time.

@m0hsen What have you heard about my crazy experiences lol? Just curious. The most important thing to remember with this stuff is that these guides or spiritual beings possess telepathy to the degree that they can sense your interest in having a connection with them. Why not try to ask some questions to your guide or guides maybe during a meditative state? Really any state is fine though. You may not get answers in clear English or maybe you will. It’s different for everyone. I am quite certain there are many positive beings who have an interest in you and would love to help. In truth, they’re already helping and always have been. It’s when I’ve expressed my interest in and appreciation for them that I’ve felt the deepest connections. Use your higher emotions to connect. If you’re operating at a high/divine frequency at a certain time, it’s much more likely you’ll be able to experience the connection. Everyone has the hardware for spiritual telepathy/clairsentience/the Holy Spirit or whatever else you may wish to call this type of connection, but it can take some work to get things firing on all cylinders. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you want any guidance from my experiences with this.

You should check out this vid/YT channel. She was part of what awakened some of my psychic/spiritual abilities and connections to higher consciousness beings. I imagine her advice could really be the start to getting in touch with this stuff for yourself.

Is there such a thing as a delusional drop of water? You are judging the experience very harshly and experiencing some rejection of yourself due to this. I totally understand why you want to be “sane,” but just keep in mind that this sort of judgment and placing of experiences into conceptual boxes of acceptable vs. unacceptable, desirable vs. undesirable, etc. can cause unneeded psychological suffering. This period of feeling empty and depressed will pass. Be kind to yourself and your psyche. You did nothing wrong. You are beautiful. You are perfect as you are. You are loved beyond any possibilities of human comprehension. Take a break from psychedelics if this was too much for right now if that’s what feels right. Your ego wanting to be able to will reality however it wants is similar to a child wanting to fly. You want to feel powerful and free because, at your deepest levels, that’s exactly what you are and always have been. Why is there the need for conscious control? Your transcendental divine self has already designed all of this perfectly and operates existence in a perfectly optimized way. At least that’s what I’ve become conscious of. This will all make sense to you one day, and you will see the incredible beauty and intelligence behind all of the suffering you’ve experienced. You already have tasted aspects of this during psychedelic states, but it is hard to really keep this in mind and trust it when trying to survive as a human being. It’s all for your higher good. There are no wrong steps when walking on a path designed through Infinite Love.

30 grams of fresh mushrooms (mostly water weight) is roughly equivalent to 3 dried grams. Most people talk about mushroom doses in dried grams. His dose was a regular/full dose although not necessarily a “heroic” dose. Dosing really means very little though. A highly spiritually developed individual can potentially get more off of one hit of a joint of cheap weed or even endogenous methods like meditation than some recreational and less serious users might get from a heroic dose of a psychedelic.

You are the totality of the present moment as it is experienced, for eternity. Thoughts or silence from thoughts are no more or less You than a bag of potato chips on your lap or Jesus Christ in a white robe standing in front of you. If it exists, it is you. Awareness and the content of awareness is a duality that ultimately must be collapsed. You are all of what is. It’s really that simple. The ego self is just as much a directly experienced phenomena as the smell of a rose or anything else. You are both the container in which these various phenomena take place as well as the phenomena themselves. Separation is always a mental concept. For a line in the sand to be a boundary, it must first be mentally constructed and accepted as one. The separation between the ego self and all of existence/God is both as real and as fake as the border of a country or territory. The border is directly experienced as a real separation, but this only occurs because it is a mental creation which is presently accepted. Ego death is like realizing all along that the border of a country has always been a somewhat arbitrary distinction which we have created. The sand doesn’t change because on one side humans see it as Mexican soil and on the other it is seen as American soil. All of it is the Earth. In the same way, all mentally-constructed egos are all just God the same way the sand on any side of a human border is really just the Earth.

I’ve turned on and interfered with electronics accidentally during periods of awakening. During a meditation, my phone went from about 5% charge to 100% while completely unplugged. I've experienced accidental teleportation of objects in my life on a couple occasions. All of this stuff happens without my direct conscious control. Usually there is a clear intent or desire connected to many of these events. For example, with the phone experience, I was facing a hassle and inconvenience due to needing to use my phone for GPS during a drive which would immediately follow my meditation. I was not at home and had no way to charge it. I went into the meditation with this problem on my mind. The physical teleportation of objects happened once with something I really needed but knew for a fact I had left behind in another city just hours before. This stuff only started happening after a lot of spiritual work. Telepathy, clairsentience, and other “non-physical” abilities are far more common for me and far easier to control than physical manipulations although I still do not have perfect control of these by any means. I can only increase the chance of it occurring through doing things to increase my level of consciousness and focus on certain thoughts and profound experiences or connections. The physical stuff, and even to some extent the less physical stuff, is only under clear conscious control if you are at incredibly high levels of development which are rare and usually only occur for people who likely possess some rather unique spiritual talents and abilities. It’s far easier to develop some psychic abilities compared to learning how to actually control physical phenomena with the mind.