BipolarGrowth

Leo’s groundedness is certainly appearing better than mine to most. The only people who can walk my path are insane or defiled in a similar way as me. My teachings aren’t fit for anyone but a bipolar kid who hit arising and passing away in a solipsistic awakening when I was like 4 after I had found a great love in the sensation of feeling the transition in sensate experience of something being so hot that it turns to a cooling sensation every day in the shower. I loved seeing the impermanence of the illusion and reality of dukkha as far as any memory goes back. This is really odd stuff the more and more I look both at my past, present, and future. It’s all holons with “opposing” “better” holons always around the corner. I guess I’ll pass on ever becoming an enlightened person or teacher because of the ridiculous beauty which is so staggeringly present in fucking god damn everything that I can’t fake a high equanimity illusion for long to appeal to non junkies. My insight and concentration lovingly eat that forced sense of discipline to appear as what I am not truly felt to be in my heart of hearts every moment which is the closest thing I can call an eternal essence to this whole fucking disgustingly beautiful process of my life as it unfolds into illusion, love, or whatever imperfect pointer you want to use. But you were ultimately right about bipolar disorder from a perspective of higher embodiment of better baseline consciousness. It is an illusion in a sense or it’s not the limits it at least appears to be before having better insight.

This was really pleasant to read. Good job and thank you for spreading good dharma ?

You have developed an absolute identity with absolute space which ultimately makes it more real than your illusory self which will absolutely never stand to any serious enlightened master as an absolute. Here is a description of what your absolute space is as well as some of the most clear and concise writing made on how to develop absolute space into absolute consciousness then nothingness then true samadhi (neither perception nor nonperception) into the highest meditative attainment according to Buddhism which is nirodha samapatti or the cessation of perception and feeling. https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iii-the-samatha-jhanas/28-the-formless-realms/ If there is an absolute ground, you are falling for the formless aspect of boundless space in a formed experience or maybe even a completely true and hard boundless space. The idea that you are nothing but boundless space produces the very state which would allow you to experience further subtleties which would completely unravel any previously held notions of time, consciousness, imagination, what God Realization actually looks like and means at more effective levels… Psychedelics produce crazy brain states through a raising in the intensity and seeming permanence to consciousness as an absolute. This always incorporates formless aspects possible to be investigated, but the inability to completely detune form entirely such that there is no visual field limits your ability to capture harder to find subtleties which create better insight and concentration eventually. There is no sensation of a body in a hard interpretation of the inner essence to be found in investigating hard formless realms. This is where psychedelics can be much less effective as they give you more intensity than you are used to, but intensity shifts are not as radical as the shift between all sensations and cessation. The intensity is more concentration, but the ability to develop way higher states of consciousness does rely on your ability to have that ability to some extent whether you are on substances or not or even spiritually practicing or not.

This is a small catalogue of one enlightened master’s ridiculously effective methods. Mix that with psychedelics and if you haven’t ended up in jail, you’re more relatively morally sound than I have been able to maintain. If you can’t vibe with what he says, ask why? Why can these crazy meditative attainments be the basis of your beginning to true practice just as it was his albeit in a more special and personal seeming note that ultimately doesn’t stand the test of investigation? Illusion is the food of insight. Buy everything you can. The illusion is running out soon ? https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-vi-my-spiritual-quest/54-the-middle-paths/slam-shifting-nanas-and-jhanas/

I mean I gave myself as infinite bliss as a permanent student of Lucifer to attain true samadhi and nirodha samapatti which showed me dukkha is the lost love that is the sensate/cessate basis for all love. I’ve become more effective in practicing the jhanas in extremely phenomenologically useful states to use for fuel for insight/vipassana practice. Fear of a devil that could ever threaten or not threaten a you is avoidance of dukkha by misinterpreting the nondual relationship between dukkha and bliss. Jesus dies for the suffering of people he sees as himself being the same species while being given karma needed to do it. I gave any soul illusion I had over to humanities #1 fear so that I might somehow escape into eternal nonexistence out of pure avoidance of the satisfactory illusion perceived in bliss. Then I was shown subtleties of nonexistence and existence through Theravada’s highest temporary attainment. The only thing to fear is fear itself is pertinent here.

A void with a conscious awareness sensation is not a true void. It is boundless consciousness with no noticeable formed aspects giving you illusion that formlessness does not depend on form to exist in any investigable way. Nothingness is more subtle than consciousness. It’s a lack of recognizance of an observer but the fine and hard to catch aspects of nothingness are the only sensate flickers that remain. Boundless consciousness absorption naturally leads to nothingness. You feel to be an awareness within all space which removes the 5th Jhana of boundless space by a gentle recognization or even intuition that something isn’t quite as absolute love fantastic as I wished. It can be really hard to tell the difference between the essence of boundless consciousness and nothingness. You might have insight into it that just is a specific mixed Jhana type thing which can be much trickier to handle.

Fucking beautiful read man. You had at least what sounds like a solid perception of rather hard formless jhanas, specifically boundless space, boundless consciousness, and nothingness. The sad thing is that all of these amazing, immersive, and seemingly permanent abodes are just fleeting experiences which make an unforgettable imprint on your karma and consciousness. It actually goes much deeper than this, but the best way to reach true samadhi (almost no one describing samadhi match it’s Theravada description of neither perception or lack of perception) was already paved as you have a lot of ability to go sequentially from each formless Jhana to the next. The best way from the Theravada schools to move forward is to cultivate the more amazing and impossible seeming formless Jhana of samadhi (8th Jhana) and nirodha samapatti (9th Jhana of cessation). Send me a message if you want to talk all things dharma. Here is the best source I’ve found for understanding and cultivating formless Jhana in a practical way that works. https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iii-the-samatha-jhanas/28-the-formless-realms/

I’ve had absolutely ridiculous visuals but the craziest and most intense ones always came in natural manic episodes caused by my bipolar disorder. More consciousness through psychedelics always sends me to some finer perception by giving me so much formless manipulation of things. This will ultimately be shown to be the beginning of something much bigger. You feel a visual lack, but once you are finally visually satisfied, you’ll naturally incline to the more subtle sensate phenomena which are the ways to manifesting anything you’d ever want. This is by the books the stuff of Gods and an image of any God you can become is less beautiful than the absolute truth which is what you actually want more than your currently highest capability of imagining what being truly God feels like. Luckily you’ll become so absorbed in the bliss you’d forget your identity which will always want more for a moment. God/Buddha bless you on your journey man. If you really want visuals, try N,N-DMT. I’ve never done it though. Leo says it’s too much for him, and I don’t want to risk the instability that would bring. You pay the same price for everything on the path of insight, but you think one reward is the best until that reward unlocks the next level. It’s a god damn video game groundless reality, and your human species created video games with God mode which was a seemingly great state to kill everything. Then you see all enemies suck and you even beat the physics of the game. This is only fun if you are averse to your present moment awareness which is the only place you have to ever be or not be god in relative or absolute ways.

He asked for a visual representation, and I gave the most canonical image of divinity in human spirituality as the example. This makes me unenlightened. I like being unenlightened ?

Can someone get that relative and absolute beauty Frank Yang on the phone? I’m feeling disconnected from my infinite brah fellow bipolar guru who overcame the A&Ps by being manic motherfuckers who were then forced into deep dark night territory before we were ready and eventually stream, cessation, and creating our own impermanent models based on the syncing of true self/no self more and more by becoming better at noticing distinctions. Haha. Bipolar disorder is the fake natty of being natty. You just love A&Ps so much inherently and come here like what all these people afraid of? This dukkha strangely feels like a gold mine.

We discuss using the three characteristics of Buddhism (no-self, suffering inherent in all life, & impermanence) to understand Theravada Buddhism’s three doors to enlightenment. From what I’ve seen in at least the strictest interpretations in this model for enlightenment, enlightenment only ever occurs through having sufficient direct insight into at least one of these doors if not two simultaneously to reach what is called fruition which is the moment of first enlightenment to the Theravada folk. I’m pulling much of the dharma, jhanas, and any other attainments from Daniel Ingram’s book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha: An Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book as well as roughly being at least 21 years from when I experienced my first arising and passing away stage and insight and having attained nirodha samapatti several times (cessation as it produces itself in gross form within consciousness if you don’t know the Pali) , typically referred to as the highest temporary attainment or state recognized in their models. In their models and canon, one who can achieve this state/non state specific illusory mindfuck pointing to an illusion of ultimate reality is at least an anagami or 3rd path out of the 4 paths that culminate in arahant hood or Theravada Buddhism’s highest designation of attainment which is accessible humans other than Buddha (oddly Self focused in nature, haha Buddha I love your ego you strange and incomprehensible bastard.) At the highest temporary states with a self which can be investigated, you can come to the very real and… just watch the video and ask your highest quality and most inaccessible imagination states to see if my madness can help give you more dukkha and finally get you cot dayum Arising and Passing away psychedelic junkies past the inconsistencies between god realization and an impermanent form that by it’s supposed true Buddhist nature can actually help you. I’m more convinced we’re just fucked forever at this point in a nihilist loving sense that I can’t even parinibbana my way out of the three characteristics as that means all experience stops but experience contains all illusions of no experience like experiential phenomena that always rely on a transient and defined in some self-like way that it all could be said to be different from the verb aspect of awakening becoming the only lasting ground of reality you can try to hold onto to keep you away from better and better understanding of the three characteristics.

If enlightenment exists and is possible, how can you not be it as you are right now? How can there be a Buddha who attained to enlightenment and a you that isn’t enlightened if everything is one? This belief “I exist but am not enlightened” relies on nothing but dualities. Buddha/me. Truth/illusion. Enlightened/unenlightened. Enlightenment is not reliant on special circumstances of being a specific illusory self with history of spiritual practice. Believing you are unenlightened takes illusion. It’s fake. It’s an identity. Anyone who speaks of oneness but thinks they aren’t enlightened does not truly know what perfect oneness is. Perfect oneness is unspeakable. It’s not Love. It’s not Truth. It’s not God. Why? Because these things are all defined. If God/Love/Truth has any permanent meaning or quality to it (even meaninglessness or no qualities), it’s an imposter.

You’re always going to be confident in something. Most people are confident that they suck ass. Some are confident that they don’t. Both aren’t really the point although I find overconfidence is eventually better for producing results than even accurate humility is. You have to be willing to put possible delusions to the test and examine them carefully though still to utilize overconfident possibilities in a way that could help. I’d say your best bet to resolve this is to deepen into spiritual practice as much as you can. All of this conflict is coming due to you not understanding no-self deeply enough. If you drop the attachment to confidence, I have a feeling this will not negatively affect your life for anything but a short period of time if even that. Losing attachment to confidence doesn’t mean you have no confidence or lose the ability to function successfully. It just means that you have recognized that feeling like you must be confident is not going to help you in the long run.

The visuals are really one of the least important aspects of an awakening experience. If you want a worthwhile visual description of God, here’s a popular one. The video is far more detailed.

I think you’ll find MCTB to be really helpful.

Ayahuasca is underutilized here. I think people trying other psychedelics need to give it a shot.

There are people who can change the color of their whole visual field at will after kasina practice. It’s something I’m gonna have to try out soon https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iii-the-samatha-jhanas/29-kasina-practice/

I read it from the site. Daniel is a true gift to people who want practical growth.

An easier way to say it that I liked is that no one becomes enlightened. If anything becomes enlightened, it’s the impermanence itself. I’m totally willing to be shown I’m wrong with my interpretations. I actually fully welcome the possibility for higher attainments and insight. This is a case where being wrong would be a more rich experience if it were the case. Why would I run from that?

Yes, that is another belief. Theories about what consciousness does and doesn’t do outside of your experience are absolutely never investigable. All you can investigate is the bundle of sensations in the present moment as they arise and immediately pass away. That’s all you ever have to work with. Have you ever focused much on serious Buddhism? It takes skepticism in a much more beneficial direction than materialist attempts. The three characteristics listed here are the best place to start imo https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-i-the-fundamentals/5-the-three-characteristics/

I think high dose trips should come first then you use THC to work on bringing your baseline up to that. Lots of serious contemplation on THC can raise baseline like crazy. I can have more intense and insightful experiences from a couple hits on a THC vape pen now compared to taking 10 tabs of LSD or 6 grams of shrooms a couple years ago. Most of the time, I can reach slightly lower levels which would still be remarkable to most psychedelic users or spiritual seekers without any THC. Things are so more fluid on THC that it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to practice without it though unless my goal is to have a more controlled human experience.

Don’t think of it in terms of a brain. That’s just lazy investigation. A brain is a belief made up of transient sensations. Everything will always be transient sensations. A materialistic paradigm is not as investigative as a sensation-only paradigm. A paradigm is never an absolute answer for everything forever, but it’s better to have a more consistent paradigm than one which takes as many guesses as materialism.

I was doing some powerful Jhana work starting from the fifth to the seventh jhanas. After going into deeper and deeper absorption into these states, I would fight my way out with vipassana and focus on the three characteristics. The vipassana gave me a way to crush the pleasantness of the temporary experience and uncover it to where all three doors could be understood simultaneously. After the last switch into nothingness/7th Jhana, this aspect became fused with 5th and 6th Jhana elements continuously present. I stopped being able to breathe. I became the room which was a finite sensation of being in an enclosed space with direct access to the boundless aspect of space in sensation. I realized that the distinctions between space and being contained in a finite experience were based on the same exact sensate illusion. I eventually found out how to breathe in this new mixed Jhana with only formless aspects of forms remaining. I had to breathe through my bones. The non space sensation within my body after full exhalation was more profound and subtle than the nothingness in 7th Jhana previously. Many other strange and unspeakable experiences such as air turning to sand occurred, but they are too many to number or categorize. Every instant has within it infinite subtlety. I feel like this is never going to end. I'm constantly fluxing between jhanas as I've acquired a sort of automatic no-mind which contemplates the three characteristics even in intense absorbed and blissful states. Now petting a dog feels like a specific Jhana. Is the special desirable aspect of petting a soft dog on its face any different from the desirable formless aspects of typical jhanic sensations? In this way, you are not just changing nothingness and space but also all other sensate dimensions which could be investigated.

The same imagination which creates me is the same that creates you. You can do your own version of any of this with the right steps taken. I do genuinely appreciate the support though ?

I’ve worked on infinite love quite a lot. At the end of the day, infinite love has no limits and therefore can’t really ever be defined imo. I’ve been focusing on dukkha particularly tonight. It’s been far more lucrative than working with bliss states/kundalini as I used to do to recognize love. When I was in some crazy LSD dose God Consciousness experience for example, I was able to be present and concentrated on what was occurring because it was desirable. Any sort of bliss works this way. I’d say infinite love is becoming insight so crystallized that the whole game of self and identity drop away such that no resistance can occur to the true nature of anything that could ever be. The bliss and obvious forms of love serve as a good ground for people to have understood before going on to the more radical and accepting forms like intentionally cultivating dukkha in awareness as an object for insight practice. Sitting with dukkha as an ever-present aspect of experience gives a strong sense of finding lost love. In the end, nothing loves life and transient selves more than suffering. If you can love that aspect of reality’s brutal nature, I’d say infinite love is easier to honestly investigate.