BipolarGrowth

I’ve experienced some radically altered senses of time throughout the past few years after starting to use psychedelics. This has occurred during psychedelic trips as well as during manic (bipolar disorder type 1) episodes while I was not under the effects of any drugs. I’ve had essentially three types of altered time perception. 1. During a psychedelic trip, I will get a feeling that the experience I’m in is eternal. I will feel like there is no way I will ever return to baseline consciousness and time perception. This is mainly a mental phenomenon. 2. On one occurrence during a trip, I began saying my thoughts out loud so the insights would be easier to follow. Right before I started doing this, my girlfriend and her sibling left to drive to a gas station a quarter-mile away to get drinks. From their perspective of time, they were gone for roughly five minutes. I had at least an hour long conversation with myself analyzing the insights I was having. If this process were only happening in my head/mental chatter, one might easily think that I simply felt that I had experienced one hour worth of time which felt longer as one hour worth of thoughts were had in five minutes, but since the thoughts could only be processed slowly as they were being spoken out loud, this is impossible. I even spoke to my girlfriend about this later. She was sure they were only gone for about five minutes. 3. The last type happened during a manic episode while not on any psychedelics or other drugs. For several hours each minute seemed to last an hour. I remember it felt like an eternity before I saw the sun rise. On the same drive, I saw/hallucinated a mechanical/metal sphere materialize right in front of my steering wheel. While this was happening, I’d say roughly three seconds passed objectively, but those few seconds felt more like 30 seconds. More than just those three seconds feeling longer, things also seemed to move in slow motion during that time. I’ve had these things happen on other occasions as well. Anyway, those are my main experiences with an altered sense of time. Has anyone else on here experienced similar things?

This word gets used all the time here, but I can tell people are often referring to something completely different when using this word. Please define God in your own words. I find that the more spiritual experiences I have, the less I can confidently say I know what God is.

@Nahm Thanks for the detailed response. I appreciate it. The symptoms I have are quite difficult to ignore or simply write off as bad thought patterns. The main problem with things is I can work my ass off to become healthier, happier, more balanced, more present, less identified with the human character, etc., but when I enter a full manic episode, I lose the majority of my control or rather have full control but what I desire to do completely changes to be in many ways almost directly opposite of what I normally would want to do in a given situation. I’ve always gone willingly when it comes to hospitalization. There are simply times when things go much too far and are damaging to my financial stability, relationships, reputation, job security, and in a few cases I become potentially dangerous to myself and others physically. It is usually after a few people close to me tell me I’m going too far that I go to the hospital. Of course, I could refuse to go to the hospital, but this would in many ways be against my best interest.

I wouldn’t consider that to be a mystical experience under the definition most people use. Like someone else said, you will almost certainly know if you’ve had a mystical experience. And to the people saying all of reality is mystical, you are 100% correct, but you are playing a different word game than the OP is when it comes to the term “mystical experience.”

They aren’t talking about any specific type of suffering. It can be emotional, existential, or any other kind. Ultimately suffering is eradicated by living in a higher state of consciousness. Once in a state like what some awakened people might have made permanent for themselves, likely through meditation, I was taking a shit at my friend’s house. His bathroom smells like a rancid overdose of cat shit as he always leaves them closed in that room. Instead of experiencing suffering due to perceiving this smell as bad, I actually could kind of enjoy the aroma. I had no more judgment around it. It was merely a sensation like anything else. Higher states of consciousness = more love and acceptance for experience/existence, especially those things you wouldn’t normally tolerate at a regular level of consciousness.

@Vibroverse I think you might be right about the doubt thing, but if I had doubt in that moment, it was only subconscious which is of course still important. I’ve noticed some other occurrences where doubt might have stopped some crazy good things from fully manifesting for me due to my own disbelief. As many times as I’ve thought or been shown in some way that I could be some type of messiah or prophet, it’s damn hard to actually trust that insight enough to actually make it come to be true in anyone else’s eyes but your own. Once you take a step like that, you will, for many years, have the whole world against you, including your most supportive family members and friends. Also, be careful throwing around statements like “most of us in this forum are bipolar.” I will literally bet my freedom for the rest of my life that not over 50% of the users of this forum have an accurate clinical diagnosis of bipolar disorder (although for this bet to take place you also have to agree to become my slave for life if you’re wrong ), however, I’m fairly certain there is a higher percentage of bipolar people on here than what is found in the general population. This is likely due to the strong link between bipolar disorder and mystical experiences. I don’t know you or your story, but I do seriously question if you are actually bipolar making a statement like that. If you are bipolar, I’d guess it is bipolar type 2 or a mild version of type 1. Anyway, if you do have an accurate diagnosis, I’m glad that you have not had the type of experiences that would lead you to never talk of such a disorder in such an irreverent light. If the majority of people in this forum had bipolar disorder to the extent I do and practice spirituality to the degree Leo advocates, there might very well already be dozens of deaths attributed to Actualized.org. I know I came dangerously close to ending my own life after experiencing the damage high doses of psychedelics can cause to someone with severe bipolar disorder (typically type 1). There were also times where my reckless driving due to manic episodes triggered by psychedelics could have killed myself or others. Meditation can do similar levels of damage, as can practically any other practice or substance that raises your level of consciousness.

1. God Consciousness realization is probably the juiciest for me. My God Consciousness realization has always focused mainly on the fact that I (not the ego I) created everything and everyone I’ve ever experienced. A runner up to this would be my experience of Infinite Freedom. I’m not sure if many people have had this insight to the extent I have. I’ve never seen it discussed anywhere. This is also described in the LSD video below. Here are a couple videos that describe two of my three experiences of God Consciousness. Manic Stories Ep. #1 - Becoming God (Awakening to God Consciousness) 13 Tabs of LSD - Mapping Consciousness #2 2. The most difficult insight to make sense of came at the end of my first God Consciousness experience which happened on 6 grams of mushrooms. I had an insight come to me in plain English that undoubtedly felt to be coming directly from God which told me “you are better than Jesus Christ.” This came a couple months after I did a really deep guided visualization/meditation that was focused on visualizing yourself becoming the greatest version of yourself. In the exercise, I pictured Jesus and how he might live and act and held that as my highest vision and goal for myself - to live like him. I still don’t know what to make of this insight. I have good reasons to support both sides of this. As a runner up, making sense of some solipsistic insights I had have led me to question the foundation of my spirituality and view things with a much more skeptical approach when it comes to spiritual information. I’ve been dealing with that for the past two months.

@Javfly33 Thanks man. I’ve put a lot of work into it over the years.

His statements sound like saying “use homeopathy to cure your stage 3 brain cancer! True healing comes from within. Certainly don’t go to a professional who specializes in this. They might kill you during surgery.”

It certainly seems to be the case. I’m somewhat of a natural when it comes to breaking the laws of reality lol. I’ve got a lot of stories to tell if someone’s interested in that kind of thing.

There was a study done (although not published due to lack of funding) that saw endogenous levels of 5meo increase by 10x and nn by 4x when a rat was given LSD. If this is accurate, it seems like we are already mixing these psychedelics in our brains when consuming other psychedelics. This makes me wonder what the experience of nn and 5meo would be like. I haven’t found any trip reports for this.

I have only done ayahuasca so far which was the weirdest psychedelic experience for me. I do kind of believe there is a spirit or intelligence that operates through ayahuasca as many have claimed (often called “Mother Aya”). It was literally the weakest trip of my life but literally gave me telepathy (probably not in the sense you think of it though) and other abilities such as clairvoyance. I am planning to try nn DMT without an MAOI soon although sourcing seems more difficult for 5meo for me. It’ll probably be a while before I have access to 5meo.

Thank you for finding this! I didn’t see anything when I first searched to see if someone has tried this.

I thoroughly enjoy psychedelics and the insights and states of consciousness they can bring, so we are quite different there. I have been using dabs/concentrated THC as a stand-in for psychedelics lately as I don’t have access to them. For me, it’s all about experiencing states of consciousness radically different than what we normally experience. This is why I usually do quite a large dab or eat a strong edible to get the most out of weed. IMO, the way most people use weed to constantly get mildly high is usually detrimental in the long run. I have had some incredibly profound trips on dabs, and yes, they were full on psychedelic trips on par with 6 grams of mushrooms or 10 tabs of LSD. These trips also have given me some valuable spiritual/philosophical insights, but if I have a tolerance, I usually experience a purely recreational experience. I think you’ll see most benefit for this work by using weed at very high doses which is much easier to get by smoking dabs or eating edibles. Anyway, that’s just how I use it.

Work on returning to your focus point for your meditation when you have those thoughts. If you really want a nondual experience, psychedelics will likely get you there much faster and to a higher degree if you’re anything like me. I’ve experienced no-mind satoris that lasted weeks from meditating, but they came nowhere close to what 6 grams of mushrooms or 1000 micrograms of LSD showed me.

@Kundalini Cataclysm I like this thought. I used to be quite dedicated to this with my YouTube channel, but I’ve dropped off in regards to that in recent months. I think it is a worthwhile thing to do while I’m here though.

Pursuing self development seriously for the past eight years is precisely what got me here lol.

@Nahm Were you also diagnosed with bipolar disorder/manic depression? I’ve seen some people say that awakening has helped their bipolar symptoms or made them somehow realize it could be overcome. I’m quite skeptical of this for myself as spiritual growth tends to make things worse. The last time I took charge of my life in the manner you’re describing (changing diet, habits, exercising daily, meditating more), it triggered a manic episode requiring hospitalization. I wonder if the people claiming their bipolar disorder was helped by pursuing awakening simply did not have as severe of a case as I do.

No, at least not in my understanding. 5meo and nn DMT both are not MAOIs. They can be consumed with an MAOI which is what is done with ayahuasca, but I don’t think that would be a factor at all if you were just consuming 5meo and nn DMT and nothing else.

The feeling of no doubt being present in an experience is not a good measurement for reliability or Truth. Many times people have felt something to be true beyond doubt which actually ended up being false. Just look at everyone who thought the Earth was flat because they thought that’s what their direct experience was showing them. When experiencing this “ultimate reality” you do so through your own relative experience. Many people would be happy to argue with you about how their “ultimate reality” differs from your “ultimate reality.”

@Leo Gura That makes sense. I think it’s something worth exploring. I might try it once sourcing isn’t an issue for me.

I think practically anyone would’ve said using 5meo for a month straight is overkill, but you experienced something ineffably worthwhile by taking that leap that potentially no one else has nonetheless. I’m assuming you haven’t tried this?

What happens when you experience the memory of something happening at another time? Or when you experience the ego? These things are also God then?

This would only be possible so far in the future that it’s almost pointless to discuss the implications. We have no idea what the world will look like by then.

@How to be wise Where is this in the Gita? I don’t believe I’ve ever heard that in the audiobook form I’m used to.