MaxBlank

The answer to question 1 will always be "you". That will always be the answer. The answer to question 2 is a question: "Can you love this person AS HE IS?" The answer to question 5 is a question: Can you let him discover this path for himself in his own time, in his own way; only providing loving kindness when appropriate? If you understand these, I think you can easily know if the relationship is worth a shot.

Perfect place to jump in. Lights, sounds, etc. are "effects" of meditation, depravation (senses, hunger extreme cold and heat, etc), and drug use. Depravations and drug use can lead to irreparable damage, while there is no evidence of mediation doing that.

Beautiful starter, Joseph. I'll share a little of my history with you. For most of my life I had NO idea (not a clue) of what I wanted to be. I have a picture of myself from when I was two or three years old (got it when my mother passed away). I was dressed in a little Army uniform, with a wooden rifle in my hands. I had a kind of a sad and lonely look in that picture... and Voila! 40 years later was retiring from the Army! Does the idea of conditioning and blindly following a worldly path come to mind? To make this long story very short. I came to a point when I realized that. I just followed what I thought on the surface, and realized I never investigated my own reality. in fact I began to see that I passed by many opportunities to change... I eventually completely changed. I became open to new possibilities. Bring it to the present, I am pretty much of a perspective of BEING peace, encouraging peace; personally in favor of approaching a monastic lifestyle (basically practicing Buddhism just to kind of sum it up). I seek to develop more peace, harmony, compassion, loving kindness. I have discarded much of the attachments to my unhealthy past: lots of wrong thought, wrong concentration, wrong view, wrong livelihood, wrong speech, and so on. I don't do too much thinking anymore (it has its place). I feel; trust my intuition, sense. I let go, remain non-judgmental more,. I encourage goodness, kindness, and the betterment of humanity. These ideas I am sharing are on the path of self actualization. I know that. Thanks, and stay true.

Well, Petarka, I've come to the same place: aikido is basically for fighting. It is a form for purpose. So is street brawling. Bruce Lee talked about the "classical mess", I am not going to bother. The Buddha taught with the "Parable of the Raft" (easily Googled). The teaching is a means to an end. It doesn't matter what form your "boat" takes.

I have enjoyed listening to Sam Harris over the years. I have not paused to consider whether he is enlightened. I have learned not to do that. I will say something about that now. It doesn't matter. Sam Harris is Sam Harris, and he is completely responsible for being Sam Harris, even to the point of any heighted state of being. Cutting to the chase; each has their own path to walk. I have learned that it is a complete waste of time to ponder whether this or that monk is enlightened, or any state beyond, for that matter. The same could be said about Eckhart Tolle (whom I consider to be enlightened), or any great teacher. The knowledge of their state of awareness does nothing in and of itself. What matters is the teaching and my ability to transform it into my practice. The teaching could come from the trash man; but if it resounds with my own mind, then it is good. Appearances (looks good, sounds good) tend to distract. The path is to greater awareness is inward. The teachings of others merely help illuminate a way. A person's status isn't important; even though at times enlightenment seems evident. Another way to look at this is, anytime someone imparts wisdom, for that moment they are enlightened. The message can be well received, regardless of appearances.

What do you want? Do you to belittle and offend people while you are "too driven"? I applaud your bravery in asking. How you are going to relate to this world is an important decision. Good luck with your studies.

I recently read something from one monk that compiled and committed to writing talks from an elder monk (Ajahn Chah). in one speech, he did just that, he changed "mind" to "heart", except in some instances , where it was already "heart" or "mind and heart". It is all the same, a matter of heart, mind, or heart and mind. At any rate, thank you for your addition. Nothingness, non-existence, no-self, are all relevant to the subject. We could also consider words like "kind-hearted", "mean-spirited", "angry minded", and so on. In the end, every word is a symbol. All we can do is point the way.

@Samuel Garcia There is so much about your question... I'll just address a few things. Who says this person is enlightened? That is not something I give people the benefit of the doubt on, ever. I don't care what color their robes are, how many people tune in every week, how many books they sold, etc. Can an enlightened individual ever be wrong, make mistakes, or have a moment of plain stupidity? I suggest it might be more rare, but it will happen. One more thought on that particular individual. Using the concept of the terribly stereotypical "children starving in India" is one of the most callous examples I could think of to use in explaining, no-self, non-existence, and the like. The lesson does not hold up to any enlightened standard I use: compassionate, considerate, kind, and so on. She also side-stepped the actual question it seems. Was she ok with it? So far as the subject itself: The mind is everything. What you think you become.

Your past is absolutely unchangeable. The best thing that I found to minimize the awful moments of my past is to do just that- minimize them. This can be done by being good to yourself in present. As the present moments also become the past, the unpleasant moments will recede, just like objects in a rear view mirror. I suggest not bring up the past anymore, the best view of the past is watching it fade. Add to the present you desire simply by doing what is good for you now. You will eventually see that it brightens your future as well.

@DizIzMikey Yes, becoming a Zen Devil is tempting to the point of destruction.

I have had this experience of leaving organizations that I was a part of. When appropriate, it think it is wise to formally declare that you are moving on- not to lose friends, but to fully embrace a new direction. For the example of a motor club; if you were given colors, you might consider if you want to formally retire them. Some clubs are more touchy about that sort of thing than others. Being forthcoming about it might be good. Impermanence in all "compounded things" in life is one of the four seals of Buddhism; so when I did move on, it was really evidence that I was doing what was right for me at the time. I am better for having let go of attachments that actually served to limit my growth (I don't think I was fully aware of that at the time). Oddly satisfying though... ...so from my Buddhist perspective, one doesn't really lose friends, one learns the truth about the impermanence of all human associations, including families. Being on the right path, one embraces this fact of living.

The breath is merely a focal point. The breath is used because it is natural and it is always "there." So it is with waves, rustling trees, lit candles, city traffic, on an on. Be good and true to you. Enjoy your private time!

The "root" of the issue is suffering, that is all. A good question to consider is "How much trouble am I willing to endure over this attraction?" How many good woman are you willing to forgo for the sake of this attraction? How much of your life are you willing to let this single attraction consume, or dominate? Best of luck with it.

Law is huge: Wills, Estates, and Trusts; Intellectual Property (copyright and patent); Commercial Law (like Corporate, Consumer, Real Estate, Bankruptcy, etc.). Tax law is huge all by itself. Low consciousness? Perhaps you could become a monk in your spare time. They cook, clean, and do landscaping; the most noble work there is.

@MHarris Hello. I'll go ahead and be up front: I am (almost) 50. I didn't bother with Leo's course. At any rate, I spent much of my spare time in my adult life trying to figure out what I "should" do; only to look back, about 10 years ago, and realize that I actually WAS doing it- I was living it. It was every moment that I was fully engaged in the moment. There is no "should" "could", or "would" when it comes to living a life. Life simply is, and that is all. If you do find something that you want to do IN life, do it with every ounce of passion you have in you. Enjoy, and remember to breath.

I pass on a few letters to say I am INTJ.

Guess what?! If you swim with the sharks, you are the shark- when they eat YOU! Have a nice day.

@100rockets I think much of fiction is following a character through struggle. I can hardly think of life, or fiction, without some problems or suffering. I did a little Google for you and found a good (it is a big list anyway) list on this link: http://www.positivelygoodreads.com/my_reviews/my_book_list.html Homepage: http://www.positivelygoodreads.com/ Best of luck.

@100rockets I think all of the sci-fi books I used to read were instrumental in keeping me sane when I was much younger ( I did not have a good set of coping skills). It also spurned on my interest in the sciences. It did broaden my mind, giving me ideas that I surely would not have had otherwise. I strongly encourage anyone to read. I think that most notable literary works are good for people. I know am much better being a well read individual that I would be without. I read tons of it: Larry Niven, Stephen R. Donaldson, Robert A. Heinlein, Asimov, on and on. I read other fiction and non-fiction as well: Jack Kerouac, London, Salinger, Poe... The sheer weirdness of HP Lovecraft is enough to give anyone pause.

@Hardik jain There is not much I can offer, but to encourage you onward. This is life. Sickness is certainly no stranger to anyone. I am not the person to ask, but perhaps seeking out some people to help going through grieving. Me? I would put one foot in front of the other and hate every minute of it. Eventually, I would LET GO. Letting go is not forgetting, denying, or ignoring. It is a process: kind of like completing one leg of a journey, and beginning another... You certainly have my sympathies; and whatever you do, take good care of yourself in the meantime.

Sounds good, balance whatever you want.

@Ariel I hear you. Enlightenment is not the END of anything. It is an internal change or realization. You MUST live out life on this mortal plane. Let's suppose you became a Buddha. Then what? You would go on with life, just like Buddha did. Go on with it- with enlightened intent, purpose, etc. Be true to yourself, and take care of you!

Yes, and yes. No external reward will ever make you feel COMPLETE. Enjoyment is temporary and only leads to a desire for more. Imagine you have gained all the world... What is next? Letting it all go...perhaps, but there is a next, to be sure. It is a condition of being human in the simplest of terms. Buddha taught about this: Dukkha. A contemporary definition of Dukkha: Disturbance, irritation, dejection, worry, despair, fear, dread, anguish, anxiety; vulnerability, injury, inability, inferiority; sickness, aging, decay of body and faculties, senility; pain/pleasure; excitement/boredom; deprivation/excess; desire/frustration, suppression; longing/aimlessness; hope/hopelessness; effort, activity, striving/repression; loss, want, insufficiency/satiety; love/lovelessness, friendlessness; dislike, aversion/attraction; parenthood/childlessness; submission/rebellion; decision/indecisiveness, vacillation, uncertainty. — Francis Story in Suffering, in Vol. II of The Three Basic Facts of Existence (Kandy: Buddhist Publication Society, 1983) I don't want to make too little of those success giants. I learned a lot from people like Tony Robbins. If any of that appeals to you, I would suggest throwing yourself into it. Their teachings certainly have their place. One must understand the futility of desire in order to fully understand the solution as Buddhism teaches it. This is how I understand it, anyway. The very best of this life of mine has been learning about the gifts from within; meeting my own mind, discovering my own path. Worldly standards of success and wealth are basically bullshit to me now.

Yes, all of that can happen, which is evidence that it does have effect. On the other hand, all of that is temporary. The positive effects (for me) are worth those hurdles. I am generally more content in any situation. I enjoy LIVING more. The same lousy people in my life have much less sway over my state (and some are not even as bad as I once believed). It is with great pleasure that I can leave work at the office, go home and spend time with the family, retire for 30 minutes or an hour of meditation, then have energy for the rest of my evenings, until night, when I can actually sleep without worry. I used to come home and eat and die in front of the TV- miserable! Before the days of consistent meditation, the monkey mind loved to chatter on and on for hours at night! I dreaded going to bed. I now realize that those rough spots were a blessing. My disassociation caused by meditation happened because I was thoroughly resigned from my own reality for a long time. It was good to find how I was defeating myself. It took sitting in observance of my own streams of thought to realize things like that. My advice: don't give up. It is possible that a supportive community and a qualified teacher/leader my help with the rough times, if needed. @Juan Cruz Giusto Great topic for discussion, thanks.