DaneV

I Don`t know how old you guys are and how long you have been in a relationship, but if something small like this makes the chemistry disapear, I think the relationship might need some more work then her dentals. I Used to tell my girlfriend her breath smelled like a garbage truck in the morning (which happens to everyone ofc) and she sometimes told me my feet made her throw up when I took of my shoes after a day of working. We always laughed about it. People in a safe relationship should be able to tell that to each other imho. If you`re just in a relationship and you guys are still young, it`s a different story. Just re-assure her and tell her you love her and that something natural like bad breath would never get in the way of that.

You will be dead for infinity after your body dies, so why not keep on living?

On an absolute level, I`m 100% certain there is no free will, there isn`t even a "decider". All our decisions, feelings, thoughts and actions are a logical response to all "programming" we got from our external environment. Realizing this frees us guilt about our past actions. This doesn`t mean we have to deny the experience of having a free will, in the same sense we dont have to deny the experience of being a seperate self. There is no point. It just happens. Or not

This... You (partly) escaped the prison of the ego and felt relief. When you have seen the light, being in darkness again feels even darker as before. And now your ego is stacking things up by adding a sense of grief and a craving to be in that loving state again. This is a normal part of the path and nothing to be worried about. The answer is to just observe this pattern and see it for what it is. And to inquire if there is something be found "behind" these two seemingly different states you were in. Are they really different ? What labels are attached to either of this states ? Why is one better then the other ? It there something that is denying either of these states and what is it ? Who or what is experiencing these states anyway ?

Yes, this is something I notice myself and hear from others aswell. The more open we are and the less we are shackled by our lower conciousness/the ego mind, the less "artificial" means we need to enter a "higher" state of conciousness. I also notice that it varies time to time, depending on how clearheaded I am and I tend to adjust my dose to this. A Couple of weeks ago I volunteered as a tripsitter/space holder on a non-duality/psilocybin retreat. We did a total of 3 ceremonies in 6 days and every participant described that they were able to go deeper in the second and third trip, while we did not increase the dosage. This could also be concluded by listening to their sharings after the trip. After the first trip, people were mainly talking about personal stuff and experiences while most people were describing non-dual states and experiences after their third trip. Which is funny since science says there should be a physical tolerance to psilocybin. Maybe this doesn`t apply to large dosages, maybe the meditation, sharing, exercises and atmosphere of the retreat canceled out the physical tolerance. I don`t know but sure find it interesting.

I`m 33 years old and ran my own business for over 6 years. Over two years ago, I became burned out which led me to seek for answers. After some therapy that didn`t "work", I stumbled upon non-duality and spirituality. A few months later, I attended a psilocybin ceremony and had my first "waking experience". These experiences motivated me to really dig into spirituality and from that moment, it was my main focus from morning to night. In the meanwhile; my company started bugging me more and more. Managing over 35 employees is a stressful and draining experience, even for those who are gaining more clarity due to "the path". Besides, even after gaining some major insights, my burnout from working like a mad man for years was still not over and I expect it not to be over anytime soon if I don`t take real rest. This is not something I can fix in a one week holiday. My business started to increasingly feel like a distraction and I felt the urge to drop the company alltogether. Partly due to the fact that I could rent out the company building and have enough savings to not having to work anymore for at least 10 years if I live a humble lifestyle (unlike currently), the descision to quit arised. I wanted to immerse myself full-time into truth seeking because it felt and feels to me it`s the only sane goal a person can really have when it`s still living in "the dream". The idea was to do some volunteering work or pick up a less stressful, parttime job to keep in touch with society during this period. And maybe, maybe one day be of service to others that are starting their spiritual seeking. Not as a teacher, but as a facilitator for psilocybin ceremonies, for example. This descision felt like the best in my life for months.. Now, the "final" date, 1-11 is coming closer and I`m noticing something in me that is trying to back off from that descision I made earlier. It`s telling me to just keep the company (I can still reverse the process of quitting) and just take it a little easier (which I tried before but was impossible, atleast until now). I`m really struggling to find out what to do at this point and due to contracts, my "point of no return" is nearing. The voice that is telling me to keep the company may be an anxious ego wanting to stay in the comfort of it`s luxurious life, its relatively secure income and social status. Or maybe was it the anxiety telling me that I should quit the company and "run" toward spirituality. The ego-games can be so confusing

To me it`s not fear based at all and I think Alan Watt`s didn`t say it to bring out fear. I Did around 15 trips myself and I will continue to do so without fear (I believe most psychedelics are absolutely safe) but there comes a point where triping is just not as viable anymore. This is based on my own experience, confirmed by opinions of some "veterans" who have way more experience in this path than I do.

That`s an understable reason. But you say that you already had an awakening, so why is it you think that another one could be beneficial ? Again, you should really understand that you cannot drug yourself into a permanent awakening or anything close to it. I suppose you already know Alan Watt`s quote about this: “If you get the message, hang up the phone. For psychedelic drugs are simply instruments, like microscopes, telescopes, and telephones. The biologist does not sit with eye permanently glued to the microscope, he goes away and works on what he has seen.” Also, read Ram Dass` opinion about it. He has had more psychedelic experience than probably any of us in this forum: https://www.ramdass.org/the-trap-of-psychedelic-experiences/ It seems to me that your ego is telling you that you cannot advance because you don`t do psychedelics. So it can stay in it`s comfort zone and not do the real spiritual "work" and make changes in it`s comfortable (?) western life.

Actually I experienced my first "Kensho" a couple of years ago while meditating just over 20 minutes on an empty beach while on vacation. By that time I hardly knew anything about spirituality and I was just meditating for "wellness" reasons. Most great teachers in non-duality never did any drugs, yet some of them seem to be in this state where they do experience this oneness (permanently?). Why did I get it back then? I don`t know. Maybe because I wasn`t expecting anything, maybe it was some kind of "grace", maybe it was my cubconcious pointing me towards the spiritual path ? And again, no matter how beautiful, blissful and sometimes insightful these experiences can be, they are just an experience. They have a beginning and an ending; so they are not the real truth (allthough you might argue that they are closer to the real truth then our regular ego-captured mind). The real truth always goes beyond experiences of your body/mind and can never be captured in a moment. And that is something you can only really find out by "cracking" the ego trough meditation, self inquiry and contemplation afaik. Just out of curiousity; why did you decide not to ever take a psychedelic drug?

I think the assumption that you need drugs like LSD or DMT to "grow" is absolutely false. I did a number of psychedelic trips with DMT and Psilocybin and while they were a major step "forward" to obtaining insights, these experiences do have their limits and in also have the potential to be an obstacle when they are taken too seriously. Especially when people start thinking they can drug themselves into enlightenment. I like the way Sam Harris describes his experience in the following video: https://bigthink.com/think-tank/sam-harris-discusses-mdma-and-psychedelics

I bought this book over a year ago. Red a few pages, and while I do seem to notice that it`s pointing to "the truth", I keep on having trouble with it. In my opinion, there are books and resources that point way more directly to the truth and without the biblical language that I personally have very little affinity with. I can see it being useful for people with a christian background and that need a "correction" to it`s beliefs. But that`s not me.

What do you think enlightenment is and why do you want to become enlightened ? I think it`s not helpful for spiritual seekers to set enlightenment as a purpose. I Used to set this goal for myself, especially after reaching temporary states/glimpses of what I think enlightenment might be like (total detachment from the ego/body/mind and thus it`s suffering) but I noticed that by trying to reach this goal, I was only feeding the ego and thus stunning my spiritual growth. The only reason I wanted enlightenment, is because I thought it would relieve my suffering and make "me" permanently blissful". Of course I was telling myself otherwise. Now that I re-arranged my goal to becoming a whole human being that is less identified with it`s ego-structures, is willing to face it`s fears and insecurities and is willing to break down all it`s ideas about life and existence; my "spiritual path" feels less frustrating and less stuck. If universal consciousness decides to manifest itself as an "enlightend being" tomorrow, next week, next year or over the next decades trough "my" entity, thats fine. But if it doesn`t happen, thats`s fine too. I`m not the one to decide. And if you want to grow spiritually, you dont need to become a monk. Daily life with it`s common triggers is a perfect breeding ground for spiritual growth.