Dlavjr

I've never seriously looked into astrology but imo everything I've ever seen seems very general, personally I feel like astrology is just another method for people to make themselves feel a sense of belonging and validate their personalities. Live and let live, if it makes people feel secure and happy, don't burst their bubble.

I've done DMT about 20 times in the last maybe 6 months since I first tried it. Last night, I was hanging out with a friend and she and I were smoking DMT. I did a decent amount at first (unfortunately I don't own a scale so I can't properly dose myself, I know that's a pretty risky and ignorant way to do a drug as strong as DMT) and I had a regular DMT with all the geometric shapes, nothing too crazy. However, the SECOND time, I actually smoked less than before, and as soon as I started inhaling I knew something felt different. Suddenly the room started going red, and everything started trembling and the walls and floors rose around me, then it all collapsed. I was blinded by colors and shapes and suddenly it all became one, everything was just an infinite loop. I looked over at my friend, and I looked at what was happening around me, and it all felt incredible familiar, like I knew that somehow, some way I had seen it all before. I can't quite make out everything that happened, a lot of the trip is foggy now, but I vividly remember seeing indescribable beings and shapes and colors, and for some ungodly reason when I looked at my German Shepard she looked like a hellhound. The poor thing was simply playing with a sweater on the floor but on the trip it looked as though she was tearing blood and guts out of the floor. Towards the end of the peak it was just psychological hell, the floor was a pool of blood, and I could swear to you that I was covered in blood as well. I'm very thankful that somebody else was there to calm me as I came down, but, can any of you make sense of all this for me? I've done a decent amount of self inquiry, meditation, studying enlightenment, but honestly not that much that I can really comprehend what happened. What throws me for a loop even more so, is that I only did a small amount the second time. The night prior, I did triple what I did last night, and it was intense to where my mind and reality became one, and there was no difference between anything, but this time I did so little and it felt like I slipped through a crack in reality and saw more than I was ready for. Is this normal?

Funny you say that, the day prior to this experience I did a pretty large dose of dmt (again vaporized) and I experienced exactly what you described. I had closed my eyes and it felt like my perception collapsed and suddenly there was no difference between my eyes being closed or opened. What peaks my curiosity is on that trip, I still recognized the room that I was in and the people I was with. On the trip previously described (which as I mentioned before was roughly a third of the dosage) all of the room ceased to exist and I was nearly blinded by colors and shapes and sights that are indescribable, everything became an infinite loop. So it seems, at least to me, that dosage isn't the only thing that factors in to one's intensity of a trip. Which, I've had 100ug acid trips that were stronger and more eye opening than 200ug. I clearly have much to learn about dosages and how to properly set up for and get the most out of a trip, but I'm a lot more grateful now for what I've experienced than I was when it initially happened.

This clears a lot up, thank you. I certainly never intended to use any psychadelic for fun, I only ever used it to learn. In my mind, I was doing it little because it was little relative to what I knew. I guess my problem is that I never had a set intention for where I wanted to go with my trips, and in that sense I used it irresponsibly. I'm definitely not doing any psychadelics until I've spent some more time learning about how to safely trip.

Is that relatively a lot? I was introduced to the drug by somebody who does it multiple times a week, so for me 20 times in 6 months didn't seem like a large amount. I planned to take a break anyways though, it was an exhausting experience and a lot to take in so I want to stay sober for a while and do exactly that, integrate the experiences.

Interesting perspective, could you elaborate/link the video?

So what I'm gathering from everybody here is that my thoughts took control and led the trip into a spiral, i.e. I felt resistance and I thought fear, so my mind conjured up fearful images and thoughts that altered the course of the trip. Because at the start of it, I felt a little overwhelmed, but I wasn't necessarily in fear, just in awe of discovering what was a massive truth of reality that I had not yet experienced, and it slowly changed into a lot more morbid visions. Is this a good indication that there's a lot of shadow work that I need to do, that perhaps there are much underlying, deeply subconscious thoughts that I've not come to face until now? Or is it that I've not yet gotten to a point where I'm able to let go of my ego in order to objectively experience a trip?

I agree wholeheartedly, but the part that gets me is that I know for sure I've done higher doses before. The night prior, I put two pretty decent scoops (I use a dab tool to scoop and an herbal vaporizer to smoke) and when I did that I had an intense experience where when I closed my eyes I felt my mind collapse and I dissolved into being one with everything in the room. Last night when I did it however, I did what looked like a third of that dose. The only logical explanations I could come up with were that there was some left in the vape that I didn't know about, that perhaps me having a minor cold and taking over the counter cold medicine might have made a difference, or perhaps it was a completely random coincidence where I just had some kind of an epiphany. I'm grateful for what I experienced but I'd rather experience such things intentionally ?.

The whole thing felt like it went on for an hour, it's hard to pinpoint really but the negative visions lasted probably 15 minutes relative to that. I was in kind of a shock of what I was seeing, a lot of disbelief that it was happening, and I felt almost a sick feeling in my whole body (at this point in the trip I could feel a body again, at the start I felt limitless).

This is incredible sound advice, thank you. Forgive me for my lack of understanding, because I'm pretty young on this journey and I've without a doubt been cast into something far bigger than I think I was ready for, but just to clarify you're saying that I should be dissociating my sense of self from what I feel, and experience the feeling from a more meta state, as in objectively experiencing the trip rather than identifying it and experiencing it subjectively? It's hard to put accurately into words what I felt and how I experienced it, especially because it's all a haze now, but I remember watching in amazement but also there was an underlying fear, especially towards the end of the peak and the comedown when I saw the more morbid visions, and reality began to reconstruct. I still had recognition of where I was and who I was with, it felt almost like a portal was opened up and I was getting sucked into it, but I definitely resisted out of weariness of whether or not I could handle it. I'm thinking I'll rely on drugs less to reach these experiences, and focus more on meditation and self inquiry. I'm just having trouble understanding the best way to make sense of what I experienced, or if there's any use in making sense of it at all.

Ever since I started working construction a few months ago I've been smoking cigarettes. I finally quit them, but only through the use of vaping, which I'm aware is not an improvement. Problem is, I use smoking as a crutch for anxiety. I get anxious when I'm in traffic coming home from work and it's a 2 hour drive going through Boston, so smoking is something to keep my mind off. Also, I foolishly used smoking to suppress my overeating habit. It worked successfully, but now I'm just smoking more and eating less. It's not necessarily hindering my life in any way, I'm not obsessive over it, I don't need it and I'm not pouring a lot of money into it. Even with vaping daily I still hit the gym, do cardio daily, and work an active job. Thing is, I know long term it's not good for me, and I know I should quit, but I also really don't want to. I enjoy it a lot, and it's been the best method I've found for controlling my anxiety and snacking habits. Please, any advice would help.

Update for all of you, I've managed to stop smoking cigarettes for 2 weeks now and I've been strictly vaping, and now I've been slowly cutting down on that as well. I'm hoping to drop it all together by the end of the week, as well as clean up my diet. All of your advice has helped, I really appreciate the kind words and motivation. Wish me luck

I don't blame anybody honestly, we were kids at the time and I didn't know then what I know now. I was a horny 17 year old that saw an opportunity for sex that at the time I didn't know how to get, so I took it. It was a learning experience, and my reason for sharing my experience was an attempt to help somebody to not make the same mistake. I don't blame anybody for the outcome of my life besides myself, what I did was sleazy and I can honestly say that despite being grateful for it happening so I could open my eyes and improve myself, it's something that you should avoid if possible.

Been there, had sex multiple times with a girlfriend that had a boyfriend, we were together before they broke up. 2 years later, she left me for somebody she met at work. If she really likes you, she'll leave her boyfriend first. It's easier said than done, but if she has any self respect or respect for others she'd wait till things we're officially over to kickstart things with you.

It's not normal if you're talking for the average person but it's probably best if you don't watch TV anyways. I mean a movie or a couple episodes of a show here and there is by no means bad but people waste a lot of time watching mindless television. I'm with you though, commercials make me really uncomfortable, it's such blatant brainwashing and people eat it up.

I find it often helps to be a little more spontaneous about it. I see it as, depending on the girl, they might decide against seeing you if they have time to think about the date, but if you catch them in a moment, when they're in the mood to go on a date, you might have better luck.

I'm aware that self-diagnosis is a stupid thing to do and that if I feel I need help I should go to a professional. I'm more so just looking for other opinions and maybe advice from those who also struggle with similar issues. I feel like I have OCD. My mother has always told me I had it, but I'm positive I never got properly diagnosed. When I was a kid, I had obsessive rituals like touching things a certain number of times, or if for example my knuckle grazed a table I felt the compulsive need to tap my knuckle until it felt right. I still have many strange rituals that I do, but I've repressed most of it. What I'm more concerned about is my overthinking. I dwell obsessively over meaningless thoughts. There are times, admittedly, where I have dark thoughts in which I play fucked up scenarios in my head. What if I was to murder somebody in a fit of rage? What if I was to rape somebody? What if I just randomly decide to kill myself? I know in my heart I would never do any of these things if I was faced with actually doing it, I just don't have it in me. But I obsess over the simple fact that I even had these thoughts, and it gets to a point where I've nearly convinced myself that I would. I've been afraid that I'd just compulsively kill myself before, even though again, if I was to point a gun to my head, I wouldn't have the balls. But I've convinced myself that I do. Please help me to shine light on this. I've begun meditating again and I'm now able to catch myself whereas I couldn't before, but are there any other possible solutions to this problem? I want to push therapy to a last resort just because it wouldn't be the easiest for me right now but if it comes down to it I would. Any advice would help, thank you

I don't wanna come off as harsh. I get that you wanna avoid unnecessary conflict and you wanna maintain a good relationship with your yoga group, and that's reasonable. Just me personally, I feel like your social reputation is a little pointless. If we were talking a career, then it'd be a different story. You don't wanna jeopardize your career, especially if you've come a long way to build your position. But for extra carricular things, most people take it less seriously. I'm not sure how tight your yoga group is, I've never really been in a group like that so I'm not sure what it's like socially, but I can't imagine anything inherently bad could happen. Honestly, be open about it, say you're talking to a girl casually, ask how they know her. I personally don't think people should differ their personalities too much between social groups if at all. Be yourself in all cases. People value that. After all it's not what you say it's how you say it. You're not being a pig about it, you met a girl and wanna keep it casual. Not too uncommon. If your yoga group REALLY would have that much of an issue with it, then they're far too judgemental and you shouldn't even pay any mind. And if she was to try and break your reputation, if you're already open about the situation, then you'd have nothing to worry about, because they'd have a good understanding of who you are and the situation and you'd be able to back yourself up. All in all, don't stress yourself out so much about the what ifs. Let yourself enjoy life and just be mindful, and be authentic. Be the same person wherever you go, be you.

So would it be wise of me to get myself into a mindset of "every cigarette I have is closer to killing me", kind of condition myself into feeling like it is an urgent need to quit when it's not? I used to consider myself a very health conscious person, I'm fighting bit by bit to get it back. I'm doing full body workouts 3 days a week to start, and I can definitely tell smoking has weakened my respitory system already because I have to fight a lot harder to finish a full mile run than I used to in my "prime". Cigarettes kill my appetite for anything more than a couple snacks here and there, but I've already had a lot of issues eating full meals just because I get very bad acid reflux and stomach aches if I eat over my limit, which is not much. Even when I was attempting a vegetarian diet I had to stop myself from eating a big meal, which is why I have an issue with snacking, but when I smoke a cig I can keep myself from wanting to eat a lot. But I digress. Point is, I haven't felt the urgency, but I can see how smoking is slowly but surely starting to affect me more and more every day. Oddly I feel like my immune system is weaker as well, I'm not sure if that's also a side affect of cigarettes.

That's pretty intense lmao. I can definitely imagine that working but that'd be like a last resort. I can hardly smoke two cigarettes in a row without feeling sick, but within an hour or two I'm ready for another one. I think the idea of smoking always ends up being better than actually smoking which I need to keep in mind.

Fuck what others think man do what you wanna do. Don't worry about how others perceive you, you're paying your instructors to provide a service to you, you don't need a relationship with them. Besides you'd be surprised how little other people care about your personal life. It's none of their business.

Don't try to push your beliefs or values on others, ever. Period. Set an example. Be patient. People see and feel when somebody is mature and growing and has a well developed mind. Over time, they'll try to pick up on how you act and think apply it to themselves. Don't overwhelm somebody with self help that they don't want or aren't ready for, it'll push them away. Egos are fragile, nobody wants to hear that they have to work on something. Make it personal, talk about the things that helped you overcome your issues and what your perspective is, and make it compelling but not overbearing. Some will hear you, get inspired and want to grow for themselves, others won't. You didn't get into personal development overnight, right? It took time, and you're still growing. Why expect others to jump up to the same level as you? You're being egotistical by holding the belief that your way of operating is supreme and others should follow suit doing exactly what you did. Everybody works differently and has a different path. Be patient and love people for who they are, and stand by your own values and understandings. The right people will follow.

I agree, honestly you might have had a bit of a fuck up emotionally but just learn from it and move on, don't dwell. There's no way you'd even benefit from giving in and apologizing, it's not like it's a relationship worth fixing. The situation came to a head, and it's resolved itself albeit in a bit of an unhealthy matter, but not everybody is gonna like you and not every relationship you have is gonna end respectfully. Things happen, you should feel happy that you got yourself out of that situation, because it would've torn you apart if not.

Thank you all for the great advice. Honestly I'm not sure what I want and I don't know how to figure that out. I have a love hate relationship with cigs, I wanna quit for beneficial reasons because I just miss how good my health used to be, but I love cigs for how much I've benefited from them with the way I live my life now. Maybe I'm not ready to quit, but how can I get to a point that I am? Do I just continue smoking until I reach that? Or should I push myself because it'll only get worse?