Dlavjr

Don't identify yourself with your father. His actions are his own. You are your own person. He's human, he makes mistakes, nobody's perfect. Devilry for the common ego mind is near unavoidable. He is your father, though, and if you love him unconditionally, then you love him for who he is, not what he does. It's hard to swallow, but it's not your direct situation. It's between your parents and your father's now girlfriend, all you can do is be there for both parents and hope they make it out of the situation having learned something, grown, and ultimately happy. Personally I don't recommend idolizing people, because typically it's a delusion, you're worshipping who you see them as, not who they really are. Don't let situations that don't directly involved you severe your relationship and control your emotions. (As a side note I'd like to say I'm not de-legitimizing your problem, it's not easy to detach yourself in situations like this, especially when it's your own family, but in my experience this is the best way to conceptualize problems such as these where you're kind of powerless to the situation but it's still affecting you)

If you're gonna bother listening to any one of the responses in this thread @the_philogynist, listen to this one. We all get what you're saying, you can easily just "have sex" with no skill or effort required, but you're missing out on a whole world of intimacy by doing so. And it expands into every aspect of a relationship. A sexually satisfied woman is far happier in a relationship than one that is not. There are an endless array of skills that can be developed in sex, and they're optional, sure, but the benefits of doing so are far too good to overlook. Why sell your sex life short? Why would you NOT want to make it the best it can be? Also, as a side comment, you can develop a skill in literally anything. Skill is not something that is restricted to only certain activities. One person will always be better than another at SOMETHING. The best way to enjoy life to it's fullest is to develop yourself as much as possible and accept that you have an infinite amount of knowledge to learn, and skills to develop. There's everything to gain when you get good at sex, do yourself and your future mate the favor and be open to sex as an extremely intimate art rather than sex as an activity for personal gain.

See, it's this kind of stubborn ignorance that makes it impossible to have a discussion with some people. You ask a question, you get answers, you don't like them, and you reject them and tell everybody that you're right and everybody else is wrong. This thread is entirely aimless, you have a lot of progress to make with opening your mind. Have fun with your vanilla sex for the sake of reproduction and literally nothing else. I'm sure you'll enjoy it far more than any girl you're with will.

This is a terrible analogy my friend. You can learn everything by the book about an entire field of work and then go out and do it and find that you suck. You can learn all the theory about an instrument but you still have to practice it. When you have sex, chances are, you're gonna be garbage. Your confidence is commendable, I'll give you that, that might get you places, but as far as technique goes you're likely gonna be the guy that gloats about having had sex but only lasted 3 minutes and just about board the girl to death. You're getting far too aggressive about this and you're putting up a wall between yourself and the rest of the people in this thread. Anybody can have sex, sure, but it takes skill to be good at it. More than just physical skill as well. You can even be an animal in bed as far as knowing the right movements and motions and pleasure spots and still ruin a woman's mood by saying something stupid that turns her off. If you think sex is just as simple as "doing it", then you don't understand a woman's body at all. This is the mindset that pornography puts men in. You're asking what skills need to be developed to have sex; you need to know about all the sensitive areas, how to pace sex properly so that there's build up, how to tease. There's a whole rhythm to sex that needs to be developed. There are even a number of things outside of physical sex that go into it. You have to have connection, build up, you gotta know how to playfully set a mood, get a woman emotionally invested and make her feel comfortable. The fact that your argument is "it's not taught anywhere" is completely ridiculous. Sex is still too taboo to be able to be publicly taught that way, though there's plenty of information online, however that's still not gonna get you far until you've actually practiced. What do you consider to be a "skill"? Sex is probably one of the toughest skills to develop, it's like any other form of expression. Painting, playing an instrument, sex, pottery, etc all require a well developed combination of technique, feeling, and knowledge. Sex isn't something you learn in a classroom and it's not something you can just pick up and do. If it was, you probably wouldn't be here making this thread ?. Also, people masturbate while in a relationship for a variety of reasons. Masturbation and porn is addictive, for one. Two, it's a different sensation, and quite frankly a nice change up every now and then. And three, you and your significant other aren't always gonna be horny at the same time, so if you wanna bust one out, you're gonna have to either settle for jerking off or suck it up and do nothing. Sex, like most things, is wayyyy more complex than it seems on surface level. People being poorly educated on good sex/proper intimacy and ignorant about what makes it pleasurable are part of the reason why there's a huge problem with cheating in relationships in today's culture.

I've found myself in similar trivial personal conflict before. Recognizing it and being honest with yourself is huge, it'll keep you from making compulsive decisions you'll regret.

Pickup doesn't have to just be about sex. Just meet people and have a good time, and try to alter your approach to it to being about something more meaningful. Take women out for a sake of showing them a good time and maybe eventually you'll find yourself in a quality relationship. And if that's not what you want, then why are you doing pickup?

Everything is ultimately Real in the absolute grand scheme of things. It's been created, it's not just "not there", but the part that's "unreal" is the story. You can enjoy life in the moment and look back fondly at things but ultimately everything is just a story and the illusion is that this life is anything different than the wild dreams you have. Everything is experienced within consciousness, it just doesn't hold the weight that people think it does. You can't get caught up in the story, the "content", if you're aware of the grand scheme of consciousness, the "structure". Everything is merely perspective, an endless array of perspectives. The argument of whether everything is "real" or "unreal" is pretty pointless, and just a duality. Once again getting caught up in content and missing the whole point of the infinite beauty and love that exists regardless of this argument. You can go back and forth all day, but where do you draw the line between illusion and non-illusion? The more you try to draw a line, the clearer it becomes that that line does not exist. Everything ultimately exists as one.

I mean is anybody really wrong? Isn't the point of the "strange loop" concept that reality is a massive paradox? Everything within it exists BECAUSE it's reality itself, but simultaneously reality is an illusion, because it is all infinite possibilities happening at once. Nothing either "exists" or "doesn't exist", it's both. That's why when you get deep into this work (at least in my experience) you can't tell the difference between your day to day life and a dream, because it's all imaginary. All there is or ever will be is now, reality as a constant, which in itself is both everything and nothing, real and unreal. You could loop this argument back and forth and never get anywhere imo.

Sounds like you need to organize your mind a bit and center yourself on what goals you want to achieve and what goals you're after for the sake of seeing if you can. Once you realize that you are limitless, everything becomes possible. That's a lot to take in. You can take time to experiment with what you can do or you can find your life purpose and accomplish true happiness. IMHO, a relationship will never give you true happiness. With or without one, you could be happier than flies on a big pile of cow shit. A relationship is like an optional side quest that may make the main quest easier (but that really depends on how much you put into it and how much you get back, a surprising amount goes into crafting a healthy relationship and for me, personally, it's just not worth prioritizing. Everyone's different).

The more I grow in pursuing enlightenment, the less I have desire for a relationship. I just want to see if anybody else kind of relates to how I feel, or if they've gone through it and have some insight. I'm going to assume it's just a phase, as it seems a common occurrence to lose interest in everyday things on this journey, and I'm sick of the empty feeling. After my previous breakup from a long term relationship, I dove into personal development once I got my drive back. The more I grow, however, the more I just prefer my own company and the company of friends. Sexually, I still feel horny but that's about it, and I don't have motivation to pursue pickup, nor do I want to use a woman for sex, and the whole pursuit of sex in general just seems tedious and unrewarding. I've had sex plenty of times, I have a few very close female friends alongside my many guy friends, so I'm not particularly depressed or deprived, but every time I contemplate a relationship, and why I'd want one and what it would require from me to contribute, it just seems trivial and like a distraction. Maybe I'm just not ready, or is there a deeper issue that I'm not facing that may cause me to relate relationships with distraction and to a degree discomfort?

Yeah, I've been ridiculed by coworkers for having low interest in relationships and sex. For a time I was deluding myself and went searching for a relationship, but as soon as I made any progress in doing so, I felt uncomfortable, like I wasn't being authentic, and that's when I came to this realization. I agree, it's something that needs to happen naturally imo It takes a lot of soul searching and self honesty, but there's nothing wrong with relationships generally speaking. Whatever works for you, don't feel like you need to strip yourself of the need in order to make progress. In time it'll happen naturally if that's what's natural for you.

In another thread I asked about where to start on cleaning up my diet, but I felt this needed it's own thread. Where do I start with essential vitamins? What vitamins are easier found in food, and what vitamins am I better off taking as supplements? Minerals as well, pretty much all nutrients. I'm not quite educated on what my body needs nor the affect of each individual nutrient that my body utilizes, and I'm unsure of what my body may be lacking at this point in my dieting habits.

Bonus question, are multivitamins worth it?

Also if anybody has good recommendations for protein powders that are good, I want to avoid whey as it's heavy on my stomach

I love sushi but I'm weary about it because often times when I eat it it upsets my stomach, that just might be the quality of sushi though. Most seafood I digest just fine

I usually eat once when I get home from work at around 5 and then end up hungry by the time I go to bed around 9, I just wasn't sure if it was a bad habit to have like a handful of nuts before bed or to a smoothie or if it's better not to eat, I've heard mixed things about the body digesting overnight

What's the best kind of lettuce to use for a lettuce wraps?

So for the sake of clarification, because I feel if I can put it in my own words then I can properly understand, Truth is in the experience of present moment, reality as it's happening, and rather than analyzing Truth (because then it becomes thought and delusion), Truth should be objectively viewed and felt with the senses. I feel like I get caught up with thought and substance over consciousness and Truth, because often times I can't make out what's what, and I end up looping myself time after time, which is why, like you said, before and after smoking weed I need to cease the mindless chatter and try to let my discoveries settle and accept them before I really make any progress. Often times when I do make discoveries on weed, I feel a sense of anxiety, and I can't come to terms with it until I've meditated and contemplated it while sober, and the anxiety will cease in all states.

I understand where you're coming from, but I feel like the need for one committed relationship that fills all of the holes becomes no longer necessary after a time. My need for validation and affection is gone, self love has replaced it. I also get plenty of love and compassion from those around me, so I don't feel like I'm losing out on anything. Emotionally I feel similar, I can trust in my own mind to secure and ground myself, and if not, I'm surrounded by people that can provide the emotional security that I may lack now and then. The only area in which I feel is lacking is sex, but I've made the separation between "need" and "want" and come to the conclusion that while I may want sex, I don't feel any real need for it, so there's nothing driving me to pursue it with any real effort.

I was gonna start a thread about it but I figured it was a bit trivial of a topic and had been talked about enough, but what role does weed play in enlightenment? I smoke weed and have had many incredible realizations from it. Whenever I smoke, even just a little, I can easily slip into a state of no self, and it makes meditation and a lot of higher Truths much easier to access, and I usually am able to take those experiences sober and contemplate them so that I can better incorporate them and grow from it. However, it's often times a lot less clear with weed in comparison to psychadelics whether or not my realizations are deluded or actually True.

I'm not vegan but I'm open to protein alternatives to meat when I can get them if anybody has any suggestions

I've spent a lot of time contemplating the things I've learned through psychadelics, meditation, and watching videos such as Leo's. Suddenly it hit me, that enlightenment is all here right now. Everything I need to feel and experience is in real time, the magic of reality is a constant and the more I contemplate what enlightenment is, the further I stray from it. However, despite being aware of this, I'm still getting confused because I feel like I still have so much left to learn about the nature of reality, and because of that, every time I try to be fully present, my thoughts kick in and give me doubt of "but this doesn't feel like it's it". I seem to be not getting something. Here's how I understand it; all of the teachings of reaching enlightenment are not enlightenment. You can understand reality as much as you want, and notice all the dualities and such but you can only get so far into this work before you realize that there's no self, and you're just here, enlightenment was there the whole time and you spent too much time thinking and contemplating reality trying to find it that you completely missed that everything is already happening. It's like, enlightenment and contemplating the endless facets of reality are two different things, almost like the difference between understanding music theory and how sound works is all well and fine but if you stray too far you miss the music itself. I certainly don't feel enlightened, but I also feel like by me denying and questioning and over assessing my experiences, I'm missing the point. Any insight?

That's kind of the key part I get tripped up by, is that everything is part of it, including contemplation, but to experience oneness, it seems to me like you need to avoid contemplating as to not create dualities. I understand that it's all part of consciousness and therefore not separate from enlightenment, but at the same time enlightenment is experiencing it all as one whole, which requires you to not think as thinking creates the dualities. It's just experiencing reality objectively as it happens in real time. The fact that we're even discussing it seems to stray away from it, there are infinite dualities being created here in this thread, so that's why I say it's kind of hard to explain how I view and experience it because immediately when I talk about it, I'm speaking relatively and with duality.

I'd like to add that I in no way think I've reached enlightenment, I have a long way to go as I still have years and years of work to do before I can truly experience being enlightenment, but I'm more so trying to clarify what it is I'm working towards. The paradoxes of this work are an absolute mindfuck, it amazes me how much your thoughts will distort your reality, but also reality is limitless so is there really any "distorting" if it's all you? There's no proper way to point to or explain my experiences, even me talking about it now is causing me to lose sight of it, but I feel like a lot of people on this forum have this issue as well and are also missing the point. They hold enlightenment in such high regard and push and push to reach what they think is enlightenment when in actuality, it's all right there in front of them. The key is not to question or attempt to analyze, but rather to just bask in the glory of the limitlessness of God, which is you, as well as everybody else, and everything as a Whole. And it becomes so easy after that to see how truly asleep most of the population is.

Would it be better to have more filling foods before bed, lighter foods or is it better to just not eat at all? I often find myself pressed for time. I'll try to make a habit of meal prepping on weekends for the week but I tend to prefer the taste of freshly made food. I typically only have 3 meals a day with fruits and nuts holding me off in between.