Matys

This feels like a silly question to ask, but any idea how I start to bridge that gap? I feel this is the answer, but I've already been in this "State" for so long its genuinely difficult to let the motion be when it seems dead set on doing nothing and going nowhere

Thank you, I'm gonna give my best at that

I suppose my issue is less that I haven't seen that but that presently it reasserts itself as soon as I fumble in my continued practice. It seems as though I can't properly transition to the other shore without the habit being properly eroded. It just feels hard to tell if the necessary view is really being discerned or if I'm running in circles, and it has become extremely tiresome.

To keep things fairly straightforward, I've been "seeking" for the better part obsessively for around 6 years now. It's come full circle where I can discern on a rational basis that there are no others or particular, but my life for all it has never seemed worse off. Anything I could provide already seems included within others, and I personally have found no higher sense of love from a perspective somewhat closer to the whole. Honestly, I don't know where to go from here and I feel no genuine drive towards anything. When there is no lasting basis for action, how does one act? What determines the finality and freedom of existential thought as opposed to this lost wandering? I feel as if I've seen and considered all that honestly need by inquired into and am only here because I am at a lack of a better place to ask.

Once again I have a feeling towards the direction but without an ability to make a definite sense of it. Great metaphors and explaination though, I really appreciate it.

I suppose then the problem isn't the reality but the series of symbols and images we use to convey our ideas to each other? Or not necessarily that they are a problem, but they create the illusion which I'm conflicted with?

Just to be a playful prick with this idea, doesn't believing in non-dualism immediately imply that they don't believe in it's opposite?

Just wanted to post again and thank everyone for the lovely responses and points of view. I remain roughly where I started but think perhaps now is just simply the time for that to be the case in my life.

I've been under the impression that this time is necessary, I have a lot I could say but I suppose it's all fairly self-evident and pointless in being said. Thank you for validating my experience, it takes away some of my resistance, fear and anger.

I feel cornered while simultaneously knowing I cannot force myself to embody the direction that this points.

Not sure where to ask about this so I thought I'd post a comment here to see some opinions. I know that is my mind creating a logical hiccup by obsessing over the technicality of conflicting concepts, but I've been snagged on what constitutes worthwhile action when it seems all spiritual teachings seem to teach of the world being made of necessary opposites. I feel called through feelings of empathy and compassion to want to create means to make people more conscious, but is that itself being unaccepting of the world as it is? And people as they are? I've become uncertain of my path forward when the fundamentals of the world seem based on polarization, and hate the idea of just being an opposite to yet another force. I wish not to be cynical, but it seems like a pointless cycle where people will ultimately come to life conclusions based off circumstances or grace beyond their control. What use is anything I can do, regardless of my calling towards it? I cannot even dictate my spiritual impulse, so what right can I possibly have in assuming people need to be more conscious or loving if life has naturally brought them to be closed or spiteful? My own view is based only off my own life circumstances and perspective that I myself could not have avoided, and therefore cannot claim ownership or merit over. Sorry for the wordy-ness, it's a bit tough to explain and I've been a bit at odds with myself over it. Thanks for reading through if you did, would really appreciate some thoughts.

Lovely read, especially enjoyed the last bit. Really resonated with me despite the difficulty I have been facing in allowing what is "myself." Thanks for the share.

Is self-love necessary to a self-realized person? I've done much to try and change how I view myself but am seeing lately that I feel the most peace when I accept that I presently don't like myself. Also, I'm sure you've covered it elsewhere but the further I look into non-duality I keep finding myself snagged. You yourself mentioned it in a thread regarding 1-5 rules of absolute truth about life and one was that everything comes from love and on a logical level I don't get it.

@tsuki Thanks. It seems a tiny thing but I think this has helped dispel part of the illusion I seem to have surrounding the experience. Keep forgetting it's never going to be what I expect because that's just the mind attempting to make conclusions, and that the idea/image that has been created is more of the problem than the reality is. Really appreciate having somewhere to go to talk about this, the process is so incomparable to anything I've ever seen or heard about it's so easy to feel like you're just losing your grip on reality. Which I suppose is the entire point

I'm a bit jarred by the contradictions that pop up, it seems obvious but I think I get your meaning. The sensation doesn't stop at any point of the conscious experience and underlays every moment. I also immediately sense more is available to me in observation than during "ego control" so it would seem like my fear is the actual opposite of truth? Ego is more of a deprivation chamber than total self is?