jimwell

I am the real wolf, not Donald Trump. ? Being a sheep repulses me. I am inherently integrous, I honor my highest values, many times above my survival. This is God's gift (and curse) to me. My life is naturally difficult. I reach the highest levels which makes people envy to death, but I also fall to levels people are scared to death to be at. And people either really love and admire me or really hate me, never average. The recent tragedy and losses were too big and shocking that I asked myself the questions you asked me. But in the end, I was happy with what I did. I can't live my life being fake and repulsed. The tragedy and losses are temporary. I can recreate my past "good" life and even make it bigger. But this time, I am planning to be financially self-sustainable and resilient so that even if I experience tragedies in the future, which I am prone to, my survival won't be threatened that much. I mean in the past, I lacked proper financial investments. Japan is still a very good place to live in if you are an introvert, self-reliant, and self-satisfied. It's a very clean and organized country, and Japanese are very respectful and polite to you. It's good because you really don't need to be close to them anyway. They are the best strangers on the street or acquaintances. And yes, you can't really have a close, genuine connection to them. They can't even be genuine to themselves, because they need to conform to their family and society. They always betray themselves to avoid trouble and shame. But to be fair, my Japanese ex-wife was better than most, but her Blue core was still running in the background of her soul, unfortunately. There are many weird and pathetic things in Japan aside from sexual dysfunctions, hikikomori, and suicides as a direct result of extreme collectivism. Another one is "salaryman" (a man who works at an office for a salary) go to hostess clubs after overtime work. Guess what their purpose is; it's not sex. They spend a fortune to talk to girls to boost their self-esteem. They eat too much shit at work that they need to recharge by being willfully deceived by the hostesses. They need to do it, otherwise they will have the alternative, which are "karoshi" (death by overwork) and major depression. I'm not joking.

A strict social designer is highly conscious. An internally diverse Stage Yellow social designer and leader functions well, especially in times of crisis (the current coronavirus pandemic, and during and the aftermath of WW3).

Thanks. That surely was a tragedy. I am not out of the woods yet. But I always do the things which are need to be done. In that sense, I am ok. Japan got its Orange characteristics from the US after they got nuked and surrendered. Japan's economy boomed in the next decades, and their largest companies such as Toyota, Sony, etc. sprout from or got very big during those years. That was the time when Japan became known as very modern and technologically advanced. But the country's economy has been stagnant for the past 20 to 30 years, and so are their technologies. Believe it or not, many thigs in Japan are very slow. Traditional methods or technologies such as fax, cash, pen and paper, business cards, etc. are more commonly used than emails, credit cards, online shopping ,etc. Their IT technology is as bad as 3rd world's. The coronavirus pandemic has exposed Japan's lack of IT and digital development. Japan was very slow to cope up and failed badly, the term "Digital Defeat" was coined. That is one of the many things they pay for being too traditional and closed-minded. Nikkei Asia and NHK World

@Raptorsin7 Yes, I will vote for that hero. I think a "high-consciousness" but strong person can quickly build a loving and sensible society if he calls the shots. He can dictate and control society the way Leo dictates and controls this forum. But that hero is rare as fuck. You can't meet him in real life, let alone in politics. So, forget it.

This is a mindset of a weak man. Women easily smell weakness. You can't fake being strong. Self-loving, self-principled, self- righteous, self-confident, intelligent, brave, yet compassionate are the characteristics (plus an innate factor I can't capture via words) of cool, strong men. Women drool over men with these characteristics. But be strong and cool for yourself first. Be the cake. Women and everything else are the icing. That just doubled the strength and coolness. ?

It was difficult to answer because situations or contexts were not provided. When I encountered the question "Is money your most important goal?", I answered "strongly agree". But it is because I lost almost everything including money and opportunities as a result of a tragic divorce. My survival is seriously threatened. So, I need to prioritize making much money like an extreme Stage Orange bastard. When I was asked "Do you feel bad when your words and actions cause emotional pain to others?" I answered "Yes" because I usually treat others with respect. But there were many times I felt very happy when my words and actions caused tremendous emotional pain to my dumb NPD father and other family members and bullies. I love inflicting pain to humans who inflict pain to others. And I love expressing love to humans who express love to others. So, these types of tests are limited and can't capture the whole picture of the human soul, especially when you consider the truth that most people lack self-awareness and self-honesty. But regardless, I am both very empathetic and psychopathic, depending on the situation. And I love being this way.

The same with religion. Most humans have religions, so having a religion is never considered as a mental illness. Having a religion is even considered good. How perverted.

This is a smaller version of the immortalists' dream of uploading your entire consciousness to a supercomputer, then downloading it to another human body or robot at a later time to accomplish immortality. Many claim humans already have the technology to implement this, while many more claim this will be a reality in 50 to a hundred years. ? It sounds good but it's wishful thinking. It will not happen in 500 years. But I am open to the possibility that it can happen in a million years. But the last sentence also means I am open to the possibility that it won't; and maybe it won't ever happen.

Here is an additional video which expounds the concepts and points of the original post. Yes, I agree with this youtuber in thinking that Japan's systemic problems sprout from extreme collectivism and that the country will be forced to transcend Stage Blue (adapt Stage Orange values) if it wants to survive and thrive.

It's better if you show my comment to your wife immediately. I'm giving my installer to anybody who needs it. I just can let it sit there and be forgotten for a few years. If there is anybody out there who has a windows 10 pc and needs my installer, message me. Include your country in the message. ?

No, because a web OneNote is meant to function online. And it can't store locally. I recommend installing OneNote 2021. It is installed on your PC so you can use it offline. It can also store locally via its "Export" feature. You can export a section or an entire notebook to your local storage as .docx (word file), pdf, .onepkg (OneNote package), etc. OneNote 2021 is better than OneNote 2010; better in features and user interface. Of course, it took 10 years of updates for improvisation and stability purposes to create OneNote 2021. Microsoft will discontinue the built-in OneNote for windows 10 soon so they can focus on improving OneNote 2021 and beyond. I love OneNote. I use it for everything; writing my personal thoughts and insights, saving Google Maps links which can't be starred, and for other interests. Another good thing about OneNote 2021 is that it is easy to import things from other apps such as MS Edge via "Share to OneNote" feature. I bought 3 copies (installers) of Office 2021 for my 2 laptops and my mother's. Each installer installs OneNote, Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, etc. on 1 PC. I already installed one on this PC, the one I'm using. I took a screenshot during installation. You can see the OneNote 2021 icon below. I found an extra copy of Office 2019 and installed it on my mother's laptop. That's enough for her work-at-home needs. She doesn't even use OneNote. If you want, I can give you one of my installers for half the official price. If you can't afford it, I'll give it to you for free. But I doubt that is your situation. Here is the official page for Office Pro 2019. Office Pro 2021 will be the same price or even more expensive. https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/microsoft-365/p/office-professional-2019/cfq7ttc0k7c5?activetab=pivot:overviewtab The good thing about this version of Office is that you only need to pay once; and it is activated for a lifetime. So, I recommend you quit your Microsoft 365 monthly subscription. You can save thousands in the long run. I am worried this post might violate forum rules, so I'll stop here. Just send me a private message.

You just can't put a band aid on a very deep wound just because it's too painful and ugly. You need to be brave and take a careful look at the wound so you can thoroughly clean it. It will surely hurt more initially. But that's the proper way. Only then you can put a band aid. The wound will heal fast and it will be better for you. ? That's wishful thinking. No amount of spiritual bypassing will heal your wounded soul. Be careful, for you will harm not only yourself, you'll also harm others.

Your past does exist now but not outside you. It exists in your soul whether you are aware of it or not. And the repetitive thoughts which cause negative vibrations sprout from past traumas and horrors. Contemplate what I'm saying and be honest with yourself. I hope eventually, your soul feels permanently better. You seem like a good person.

Very naive and self-deceptive. It doesn't work for moderately to heavily traumatized humans. Another paradox is that to enjoy present activities such as taking a walk in nature, you need to go back to the past, then face and integrate the past horrors.

These are all projections. The best form of self-actualization or self-development is all-encompassing. It encompasses many domains; spirituality, mind or intelligence, emotion, and body. Rhamana Maharshi might have been the most conscious human has ever lived; but he was NOT well-balanced.

@asifarahim Did you get that information from Anime? No, divorce is not a sin there. It is only a sin in Christian, especially Catholic countries. Japanese would directly or indirectly murder themselves for the emperor (authority). That's why Japan has systemic problems such as karoshi (they literally work themselves to death for authority (their bosses)), suicide (they get very depressed after a lifetime of self-betrayal, for the sake of authority and society), and others. It's easy to understand why my ex-wife divorced me. It was because of her loyalty and devotion to authority (her mother). I didn't title this thread "Worst of Stage Blue" for nothing. No. But many Japanese have told me I look like them. And many of my countrymen have told me I look like a foreigner. I don't have mixed ethnicity. But I am very different from my countrymen, internally and externally.

A scam as big as this is worth contemplating. I can tell she's a class-A scammer (and a psychopath) just by looking at her. There are sins which can't be hidden. As Oscar Wilde said, "A sin is something which writes itself across one's face.". A scammer's soul is extremely and blindly selfish, no integrity, and shameless. That's why psychopaths or sociopaths are the biggest scammers (and murderers). And their biggest prey are humans who are naive, with low self-esteem (people pleaser), conformists, and desperate.

I doubt my intuition from time to time; but not this time.

@How to be wise I am not waiting for it because Leo doesn't need to do anything for me and I don't need Leo to do anything for me. Everybody wins. His last youtube video is good.

You made me smile. You are not alone. You currently have Stage Green values, which is good. But your beautiful values and intention will remain in your head and heart; will not manifest in this world if you don't develop and integrate Stage Orange. Watch the video above at least once a year until you turn 20 and really embody the values described in the video. Paradoxically, it is changing yourself that you change the world. Remember the cliche "You can't give what you don't have." I hope you will become like this Japanese girl in the video who I admire for her internal beauty (though she also has external beauty). Kawaguchi Kana She is able to manifest her Stage Green values because she embodies some Stage Orange values. It's impressive for a Japanese.

I feel your suffering. You probably feel you are the only human on Earth who is unloved, unfairly treated, suffering alone, and nobody can understand you (it's true in a sense), but on a structural level, we have the same suffering. The same in intensity, weirdness, and aloneness. On the outside, I look like I'm a big winner. But the truth is I still have my own shit despite tremendous inner work success. Your anger towards God is valid. Keep hating God. After all, who responsible for all this shit? Don't let anybody gaslight you. But at the same time, don't let that hate drowns you in hopelessness and failure. You must do what needs to be done. Stand up for yourself and go where you need to go. Majority of the work is done on the inside. Build that strong self-love and love for beauty. Those will be your fuel when things become very unbearable. It's also important to have a good vison of the future situation you want to be in. This will be an additional fuel to keep you motivated. I have seen a few of your posts so I have a good idea of your inner world. And this is my response to your posts. I'm not just talking. I have already walked the talk. And I will walk the remaining things which need to be walked. After all the walk and talk, maybe and hopefully our view of God and life will change for the better.

@justfortoday You have revealed your deepest insights. SO, how are you going to live your life from now on? How are you going to integrate those insights with your daily life?

Are you serious or just being metaphorical? ? You made me confused.

In retrospect, I had my first awakening when I was 7. I was sitting on my folding bed, looking at the painful wound on my knee. A thought popped out of nowhere "What if this is not real? What if this painful wound is an illusion?" Then my sense of reality changed. I suddenly experienced existence as a dream. I felt I was in a dream. Then more insights flooded my mind. "I am actually in a dream. I have always thought this world is real. But everybody and everything knows this is an illusion. Even this folding bed knows it is inside a dream. The biggest culprits of all are my parents. They have pretended all along they are real, and my experiences are real. My parents exist to fool myself into thinking I and my experiences are real, when this is all an illusion. I am in a dream." Then I felt tremendous horror. Then I thought to myself "Why am I having these thoughts? And why do I feel I am in a dream? Am I crazy? But I was not crazy yesterday?" The feeling of having gone crazy intensified the horror I felt, then my mind went blank. I was traumatized by that experience, I buried it in my soul for almost 30 years. I dug deep into my childhood in my entire twenties to understand why I had severe anxiety and depression, and completely broken. I had uncovered all or almost all "traumatic" memories except the "I am in a dream" memory. I recovered this memory only last year (2020) or early this year. I am sure it was triggered by Leo's claim that "Everything is imaginary". I was a normal kid. I liked toys and played with other kids. I was even an "alpha" kid. I dominated and bullied other kids my age ?. But there was something different about me. I was extremely curious about everything, especially nature. I was always wowed by trees and grasses. Every time I went out with my older cousins to hunt birds in the forest, I felt I was in paradise. I remember one time, I was playing with the other kids in a field and found a beautiful greenish brown grasshopper. I was very fascinated by it, I stared at it the entire afternoon. All the other kids left me because it was already dark, after spending many hours in the field. But I remained there, deriving tremendous pleasure staring at the grasshopper. I am now amused by that "I am in a dream" childhood experience, especially that many deeply spiritual humans claim that existence is a dream, not real. I feel it in my soul as an intuition that I really am in a dream. But somehow, I can't accept it to be true. I still have doubts about it. I am open to the possibility that I am just deceiving myself. If I experience that "I am in a dream" childhood experience again, maybe or probably I will finally take it as truth.

I am familiar with that area. From what I've seen, it's an interesting, beautiful place. You were lucky to be there. Sounds exciting. ? So, South Korea is really similar to Japan. Initially, I couldn't find deodorant in Japan and was frustrated. But I eventually found a "body spray" type of deodorant. I've been using that type since then. Thanks for the useful answers ?. I'm from a city in central Japan where Toyota Motor Corporation originates. But I'm originally from a 3rd world country somewhere in Asia. The last song was slightly soothing without understanding the lyrics. But I liked its melody. You listened to it 15 times? ?