jimwell

A few months ago, I asked myself "How do I know whether I'm the only sovereign God having this solipsistic dream? There might be other sovereign Gods who are completely outside my consciousness and solipsistic dream; sovereign Gods who I have no access to, and having their own solipsistic dreams." I experienced Solipsism when I was a kid. So, I have a good idea what Solipsism is. I still don't take it as truth. I am open to the possibility that Solipsism is not Truth. But I intuit that Solipsism is Truth. I'm surprised that your most recent awakening clearly answers the question I had a few months ago. I think the awakening is actually not contradictory to your past awakenings. It is just a step or a level higher. I will reveal here another intuition of mine. In your next level up awakening (probably the highest awakening), you will realize that you are God, simultaneously having access to all the infinite number of sovereign Gods' consciousness (not via telepathy). It also means that you are God who simultaneously sees and experiences all the sovereign Gods' solipsistic dreams. I hope that this is really the case so I will know what to verify. Having an intuition and actually experiencing it are not the same. Unfortunately, I am not in the correct position to verify it myself now because I am still too busy surviving. And when my survival has been ensured, I still want to burn or exhaust my "karma".

Yes. But the few wise people are still part of the fools' society so they also suffer the same karma. It's a tragedy.

Love your ego to death. And also learn to love truth, goodness, and beauty. That's what matters because that's what makes you spiritual.

Normal humans with low self-esteem don't get away with it. Life is hell for anybody who has low self-esteem (or traumatized or deeply wounded during childhood), spiritually gifted or not. But yes, it's worse for spiritually gifted humans. Yes, they are wrong. Spiritually gifted humans exist and it's highly genetics (80% to 90% for Awakening World Champions). That Indian man, Ramana Maharshi was completely spiritually gifted (91% to 100% genetics for The Most Awakened Ever). My grandmother was a very religious woman. She was very kind or benevolent, a true Christian. But she lived and died having severe schizophrenia. Maybe she was spiritually gifted. But I'm sure that she committed the mistake of spiritual bypassing. She neglected her desires, insecurities, and mental-emotional wounds. She also rejected her husband and family. She went Jesus-mode; leaving her family, selling her possessions and gave the money to the poor. But despite that, I love and respect my grandmother. She was the only human in this world who made me feel love when I was a kid. That love was unconditional; not perfectly unconditional but still unconditional. And I saw the biblical Jesus in her, very loving and selfless. This is true. Everybody needs to have high self-esteem, spiritually gifted or not. There is no point in living life if you have very low self-esteem. Life will just be hell and torture. And self-esteem is directly proportional to self-love. Focus on generating self-love because you automatically get high self-esteem and self-confidence, and you have a bigger chance of getting the other good things (wisdom, good health, success, etc.). And how can you love the entire existence if you can't even love your limited, human self? Lastly, be PRUDENT. You just can't talk about spirituality or spiritual insights to anybody, anywhere, anytime.

These are 2 of the songs which make me say "Such is the beauty of existence!".

Love is such a beautiful thing. It surely is.

No, not delusional. You get them back via generating high self-love and self-reliance, and healing your trauma and chilhood wounds. It's also good to learn to establish your personal boundary (an aspect of self-love). I made a post about how to generate self-love a few weeks ago. I can't attach the link here because I'm using my smartphone to write this comment. By the way, you have a suave signature. ?

The point of integrity is itself. Yes, it's true that your integrity and goodness will have no or very little impact on the world because not only those who have the most power and resources lack integrity... even the ones who lack power and resources (the majority) are also very selfish, deceptive, and opportunistic. But the point is to live and die being genuine and integrous. Its impact is secondary.

Because it is. And my post was also aimed at all the other members and guests of this forum. Not my intention to put you in the extreme feminism category. Sounds good. Cheers! ?

I would also like to see more women in carpentry and masonry. Be careful about extreme feminism. Men and women are not similar. Both have their own tendencies, strengths and weaknesses. Ignoring or denying inherent biological and even "spiritual" characteristics, tendencies, and differences between men and women is a big mistake. I'm not anti-women. I even love them. I see their inherent beauty and value. I just don't want feminism to go extreme and self-deceived.

We are all here. Existence is a dream. But if this dream is all there is, then existence is real. Yes, we are all breathing. You're not alone. Don't worry about it.

So you were never genuine. You can only be very genuine if you have a high level of self-love and self-satisfaction. Only then that others' perception and impression of you naturally become much less insignificant. The best form of genuineness is very connected to integrity. The opposite of integrity is being spineless and opportunistic which are hallmarks of both the people pleasers and selfish bastards. This video by Leo about integrity is helpful.

I see it in a different way. I think everybody is capable of love and has loved many things. But nobody (including me) has loved at the highest level - complete, unconditional love. Something limited is not capable of that.

Everybody should always remember this formula: self-deception + spiritual bypassing = zen devilry

It's 4:10 am in my country and I'm sleepy as fuck. But I need to say this before going to sleep: Humans don't even care enough about kids being disrespected and abused. And humans also don't care enough about their fellow humans who are starving on the cold sidewalks. Otherwise, there would have been global protests against child abuse and homelessness, much more and much bigger than the current anti-Russian Invasion protests. There's no chance that humans will care enough about the pain and suffering of butchered animals. It surely won't happen in this century. We just need to be at peace with that.

Cows are delicious. But they also have intelligence and emotions, similar to humans. This inner conflict punctures my soul.

It's good that you see the problems with capitalism and the world's current civilization. But it seems that you have fallen into the trap of seeing only the bad side. Get out of that trap and be willing to see the good side. Watch the beautifully created documentary and then imagine yourself living in that scenic prison. Life is very difficult there. You probably won't survive. With proper contemplation, it will make you appreciate and be grateful for civilization and capitalism. Capitalism should not be erased. But yes, it needs to evolve.

You will never have full control of existence. It doesn't matter if you are God or not. In the end, you are still limited. But you can expand and maximize your limits. You do this not via spiritual bypassing. You do this via internal and external self-actualization work; self-love, self-esteem, self-confidence, ambitions, planning, implementation, and luck. Luck is the other forces which you don't have control. God is in full control all the time. Even the things I mentioned which seems you have control over, are actually under God's control which are implemented via you. Everything is spirituality, that includes survival. God is all there is, so everything is spirituality. So, master survival (low level spirituality), and find and then keep your connection to your soul and existence (high level spirituality).

You are similar to a typical Japanese who works himself to death. It is called "karoshi". I have heard many times about young Japanese (early 20s) who worked 12 hours a day with essentially no days off (they don't take their rare days off) for big Japanese companies. They made much money but it was all pointless because they ended up dead in their lates 20s or early 30s. The way they died was horrible. They showed up at work in the morning and then collapsed. It's intriguing that their death occurred in the morning. Why not in the afternoon when they were supposed to be more exhausted? Some hard-working Japanese are able to make it in their late 40s before they get sick and die. The others don't die but get depressed and are forced to quit because they just can't continue anymore. Others just murder themselves because of depression. The last category of hard-working Japanese is the one which my former 55-year-old student who works for Toyota Motor Corporation as an Industry-Design Engineer belongs to. His words: "My life is nothing but work. I have been exhausted and wanting to quit for many years but not been able to. I have made billions of yen but it's pointless because I don't even have time to spend them." He looked frail and unhealthy. I hope he is still alive now and ok. It's obvious to me what you should do. Change the work situation. Try a different job if needed. If nothing works, go back to your home country and then regroup. Additional info: My former student wasn't on vacation when he studied. His company required him to do it, so the company paid for it. Studying was part of his job at that time.

The problem is that you have a very strong aspect which is very self-hating or self-defeating. It's very strong that you even identify your whole self as that one aspect. This is a very difficult problem to solve because this self-defeating aspect is embedded deep in your soul and runs in the background of your mind. This is why you feel a very strong resistance when you try to do something good for yourself. I think you should try to balance it out by developing the aspect of you which is self-loving. It must be there, somewhere in your soul. I have a small but powerful technique to help you do that. But first I need to clarify what love and self-love is. Self-love is: Being kind and good to yourself You honor your desires and do things which serve you; you eat delicious or nutritious foods, you sleep long (more or less 7 hrs) and deep, you chase and bang beautiful women, you do self-actualization work, and you pamper yourself with a big pizza from time to time. Being understanding or sympathetic to yourself When you make a mistake, especially a big one, you don't condemn or punish yourself by judging yourself as dumb, bad, or evil. And you don't restrict your chance of succeeding or doing it correctly. You always deserve a chance. Why? For no other reason but you love yourself. You also try to understand why you made such mistake. You consider your external and internal situation (your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings at the time of committing the mistake). Forgiveness It is connected to understanding or sympathy. It is easy to forgive yourself if you understand why you made a big mistake. You can even go a level higher. Even if you don’t understand for whatever reason why you are being dumb or made such a stupid mistake, you still choose to stop punishing yourself. You are still being kind to yourself, the same way you are being kind to that beautiful girl who captured your heart (might sound cringy ). Having respect and setting boundaries You draw lines or set rules for how others should behave towards you, and you strictly implement such rules. Don’t allow others to insult, bully, or gaslight you. You should be willing to punish anybody who verbally or physically harms you. It is exactly similar to protecting somebody or something you love; a dog, computer game, or $1 million in your bank account. You nourish it. And you destroy anybody or anything which harms it. Appreciation You see and appreciate the good things about you and the good things you do. Those are the essence of self-love. Contemplate them until you clearly understand them. Then start a conscious decision to love yourself and be your own protector and cheerleader. There will be a very strong resistance, but you need to use all your energy and will power to resist the resistance. 1. Look yourself in the eye in the mirror for 30 seconds to 1 minute. 2. Say "I want to love myself." Yes, I'm bad, I'm this, and that, but "I want to love myself. Do this 2 times a day, preferably in the morning, and night. You might want to wash your face first before doing it, so you look better. You can verbalize it or just say it to yourself via thoughts so nobody can hear you. And throughout the day, pause or take a moment to say it (5 to 10 times without the mirror). Do this for a few years. You will know when to stop. But after 1 year, you will feel and see the result. Don't say "I love myself". The resistance will be even stronger, and more importantly, it's a lie. It's better to be straightforward and honest, so say "I WANT to love myself". Also don't say "I want to love you". It's more direct and empowering to say "I", so say "I want to love myself". That might look a very simple exercise or routine and you underestimate its effectiveness. But it works. I generated strong and stable self-love via that. It is via self-love that you naturally become connected to your desires and feel love and excitement for existence. It's also good to have an alone time (1 to 2 hrs a day, at least 3 times a week) for contemplation, introspection, and appreciation. And find a way to implement the essence of self-love in your daily life. It's probably better if you continue your van life until you earn enough money to be able to afford an apartment. Don't go back to living with your family. And playing computer games is surely a waste of time and energy. Here is a thread I started which might also help.

Surely.

Not really accurate. If you get healed 90 percent from childhood wounds, trauma, and any other form of mental-emotional damage, you are essentially healed. You will feel the difference. Being self-loving, self-confident, and feeling good are the natural default states. And you will be much more grateful and appreciative of the default states because you have experienced the opposite (being wounded and mentally-emotionally damaged). It is similar to being grateful and appreciative of the cool or warm temperature of mid-spring or mid-autumn (20 degree Celsius to 24 degrees Celsius) because you have experienced the bone-freezing temperature of mid-winter (-10 degree Celsius) and the bone-melting temperature of mid-summer (35 degree Celsius). Another good thing about experiencing extreme suffering and recovering at least 90 percent is that you gain much from it. You will be much wiser or intelligent but also open-minded, stronger but also sensitive, grateful but also not settling for less, braver but compassionate, etc. You beautifully integrate powerful things which seem opposite to each other. You will never recover 100 percent. But you don't need to. Let the power and beauty of recovering at least 90 percent overwhelm your soul.

Then you already have the solution; enhance your ability to appreciate the beauty of reality. That will intensify your experience and enjoyment of the magnificence of existence. Consistently remind yourself to see and appreciate beauty (all forms) every day and every place. It will take time (many months to a few years), but it's worth it. It's even the only way to go. It's a lie and self-defeating. It's probably related to your spiritual bypassing (unhealed childhood wounds and trauma, unchallenged limiting beliefs, depression, and neglected desires). I also experienced this stage of nihilism and depression just a few years ago because of 2 things; remaining unhealed childhood wounds and death (It made me realize that it will erase all my experiences and memories that it feels like I was never born at all.).

@TheAvatarState You have probably fallen into the trap of spiritual bypassing. It is really important to work on your mental-emotional domain first before going deep into spirituality. I have the exact opposite experience of your experience. I am grateful every day that God has given me life so I can manifest, experience, and appreciate the beauty and magnificence of existence. I have developed eyes which are very sensitive to beauty that I feel love and admiration every day. I feel love and admiration when I see my bank account quickly growing, my beautiful red cap hanging on the wall, and when I take a shower. It boggles my mind how much intelligence and complexity are involved in creating that shower head. I imagine myself being in the wild. How do I create a shower head from scratch there? How do I even transform rocks or minerals into metal? ANd how do I manipulate the metal's shape into a shower head? And the result of such intelligent creation results in me feeing clean and fresh. I love it. This contemplation and undersatnding give me much admiration and appreciation. There is much intellgience (which is beauty) in all things around you. You just take them for granted because your eyes are not sensitive to beauty. When I listen to music, I feel good appreciating the intelligence behind the lyrics and melody. But I don't stop there. I also think about every musical instrument used to create the music. I think about how the guitar came into exsitnce. How were the strings created? And it's amazing how the strings were structured and aligned to enable easy playing. How about the business side of it? How was the guitar dsitributed or shipped? It must have taken much planning and effort for the guitarist to be able to hold that guitar. This contemplation and understanding doubles my enjoyment and appreciation of the music or song I listen to. Looking at a tree, dog, or bird ignites joy in me. I'm in awe while looking at God's work of art. It makes me feel my connection to existence. It's a beautiful, spiritual feeling. Thinking about my future also excites me. I think about the intelligent systems and good things I will create which will add more beauty and goodness to the world. I think about my future houses in Japan, SOuth Korea, and maybe China. I feel excited thinking about the very beautiful women who I will bang and enjoy. I also get excited thinking about the many beautiful parks in those countries; parks where I will walk and hang out in. It took me more than a decade to accomplish this mindset. I started with healing my very broken soul (childhood wounds and trauma, anxiety, OCD, BDD, agoraphobia, PTSD, depression, etc.). I self-healed; no therapist, no meds. I did mindful meditation and self-designed meditation. I also did much research, contemplation, introspection, and other forms of inner work. But above all is generating or developing self-love. I can't detail all forms of inner work I did because it's 4:30 am in my country and I'm sleepy. I just felt compelled to post in this thread. This video by Leo in 2018 helps. And you can see me in action here. ? http://1drv.ms/v/s!ArRczozlKBxyugRZxooKIxB1Kkw5

Existence is exactly similar to your nightly dreams. In your dreams, it feels like other people have their own localized consciousness and have their own experiences. But when you awaken from your dreams, you surely know that in your dreams, people don't have their own experiences, and that there is only ONE experiencer or perceiver, which is you. Everything is just an illusion masquerading as real. I speak from direct experience, whether that was awakening or just a mind-boggling hallucination. I think about that childhood experience everyday, trying to self-validate it or experience it again as an adult.