Mason Riggle

I've never heard of nisargadatta.. but there is a powerful quote by Alan Watts that I feel gets to the heart of the paradox. "Am I doing this, or is this doing me?" And the answer is, 'yes!' it's both! Think of the sentence.. "I am experiencing all of this".. experience is not just something 'happening to you'.. it's also something 'you are doing'.. and there's nothing you 'need to do' in order to do it. "I am driving this car" seems like something you do.. the same can be true for "I am experiencing all this."

When I consider things such as 'losing my sense of self' or that 'there is no self'.. this used to leave me with the sensation that I was 'just a hallicination of my brain'.. or 'simply a result of every cause affecting me'. I wondered if 'I' was ever responsible for anything, or 'doing' any of it, or 'authoring my own thoughts'.. But as I contemplate it deeper, I wonder if the 'self' is more of a paradox.. Instead of imagining the process of enlightenment as 'losing the self', like something that dwindles away until it's gone, its more like, as I shed notions of 'self', who 'I' am actually grows, until 'I' becomes 'everything'.

@Inliytened1 absolutely! Becoming comfortable with paradox has been key in letting go of so many questions. I find it hilarious when I am watching certain of Leo's videos, and an 'ah ha' moment hits me, and I'm laughing at myself and don't even need to finish the video.

@Nahm I like that a lot. I almost just felt a shift away from a running dialog to being aware of everything I was 'experiencing' as a whole, if only for a moment.

It seems better than the alternative...

"“You are not controlling the storm, and you are not lost in it. You are the storm.” - Sam Harris

Is the one where he deconstructs the metaphysical substrate of Moby Dick? *kermit voice* - "Ahab needs to sort himself out, roughly speaking,"

"I discuss a point of view, the jokers point of view, from which not only our social institutions, but also all the formations of the natural world are seen as games. Be careful of the word game. It does not mean as trivialities, because when we say it is just a game this often means it is just trivial. There can be important games, as when we play the piano or musical instrument we are not necessarily doing something frivolus, but we are playing, and there is something in the nature of all play that is not serious, but at the same time might be sincere and I try to give you the picture of the multiplicity of natural forms on the one hand, and of human social institutions and all the things we do and consider important and busy ourselves with as human beings. I try to give you the point of view from which these can be seen as games. As things being done as it was simply for themselves, and not for some ulterior motive, and therefore these games are in a way best played when they are played as games. Although it is really alright that people take them seriously, except that they are a little bit deprived, they are missing something. And so, when the joker sees a person taking his life seriously and regarding himself as extremely important there is something funny about it and he is inclined to get the giggles. He knows that the very intensity of seriousness with which the individuals concerned are taking these games will be a kind of foil for the subsequent bursting into laughter when he sees that it was not serious after all. You see that? You might say that there are these two classes of people. There are the very far out people and the very far in people. Now, ordinary we say that someone is very far out when they are odd balls, when they are exceedingly unconventional. But, I want you to turn the picture around and look at the conventional person, look at the square, as a person that is very far out. That is to say he is so involved in the seriousness of the game he is playing that he is lost. He does not know where he started from and he think is there, ha, ha, ha, ha. But he is completely lost. Because he is actually under the cover of his assurance, of his status, of his position in the society. He is really a very anxious person. Our society shows anxiety because it cannot permit the existence of people who do not belong. And it cannot really permit the criticism of laughter. It cannot permit the presence of the old fashion court jester. Because these people are so far out. They are so involved and from a certain standpoint, from the jokers standpoint. He does not condemn such people, he rather congratulates them on their heroism for getting so lost and involved. But to keep the far out people of going quite insane there have to be far in people and the far in people are those who keep contact with the original goings on behind the scene. They are like the prompter in the theatre where there are the actors out on the stage relying on their memory etc. and they are supposed to be completely involved in the game. But there is a concealed prompter with a script in front of him and he is the connection of the actor on the stage with the green room behind the stage." -Alan Watts

Just something fun and silly...

Thanks. My apologies to Leo. It was hard to get him looking to the side, and the last frame should be his classic smile.. Haha. And my weak photoshop skills didn't help.. but I thought he'd get a chuckle..

Wizard of Oz, perhaps?

Enlightenment is, as Leo often says.. a tricky tricky thing.. and a bit of a mind fuck.. it's the realization that we're trapped in this 'whatever it is'.. and at the same time 'realizing this trap' frees you from it. it's the understanding that the point of it all, is that there is no point.. (it's actually deeper than just 'understanding', but I only have words at my disposal to help you 'understand'.. meditation, psychedelics, self-inquiry etc. are tools that can help you experience 'enlightenment' instead of just understanding the concepts on an intellectual level) and like existence itself.. enlightenment is paradoxical in nature.. and at the moment you seem to 'understand' it all best, is when you will also feel the most confused about it all. It seems natural to me, that at times, certain people, including myself, will find Leo's words profound to the point of bringing tears.. and at others times, his words will sound like childish woo.. this is the nature of things.. you can't have an inside without an outside..

@Pouya

I would suggest watching any of Leo's videos on duality (non-duality)... the free will/no free will duality is one of many which can be transcended. "Of course I have free will, I don't have any choice in the matter."

@Dwarniel The ego is the sensation that there is a separate 'you', located (for most people) somewhere behind your eyes.. who witnesses the outside world happening. This 'you' considers itself 'independent' from all of the other goings on in the world. It imagines that it is the author of thoughts... It turns out that this 'you'... is merely 'happening' just like everything else. It's just another thought occurring now, the same way the sun is shining right now.. this 'you', it turns out, is not responsible for 'doing' anything any more than the sun is responsible for shining itself.. there is nothing the sun 'needs to do' to be the sun.. it just is... the same is true for 'you'.. just like there is no 'sun' inside the sun anywhere that 'does the sun'.. there is no 'you' inside of you which is 'doing' all of the things you do.. it's all just one big happening.. and any thoughts that occur such as 'I am doing this'.. or 'I am reading this sentence right now'.. are all just 'more of what is happening'.. There is no 'you'...

It might be said, that the 'preferable' or 'ideal' state of mind 'to be in' is whatever state of mind 'you are in'.. be careful not to judge.

Infinite with a capital I... Reality with a capital R... transcend the 'reality/imaginary' and 'infinite/finite' dualities...

After meditating, it was just something I recognized.. that fleeting 'heightened awareness' was similar to these other states of experience. I know a lot of people wonder 'what is it like to meditate?'.. or they wonder what's the difference between actual 'meditation' and simply sitting quietly with your eyes closed.. well.. it seems to me that at least one experience that can be had through meditation feels very close to the sensations of 'zoning in' and 'zoning out'.. the commonality being the loss of the sensation that there is a 'self' to some degree.. and all that remains is everything that is happening.

Have you ever ‘zoned out’? You know, when you’re kind of just sitting there, and you’re gaze is fixed, but not really focused on anything in particular? Your mind also seems fixed, but not really focused on anything in particular. It's a sort of momentary ‘unawareness’. During this period of 'being zoned out'.. even as you become aware that you have ‘zoned out’, you aren’t compelled to immediately ‘zone back in’.. and then something, a thought perhaps, or someone saying your name, or a sensation.. and you’re back, once again aware of your surroundings, back to the monkey mind.. Have you ever 'zoned in'? It's very similar to 'zoning out'.. where your eyes, your mind, are not fixed, but also are not focused on anything in particular.. Athletes who experience this might say they were ‘In the zone’. The experience is sometimes describes as 'acting without thinking'.. there seems to be an extremely heightened sense of awareness, where the athlete will operate at peak performance without even thinking about it. Perhaps you have experienced this while playing a video game, or while writing, or playing music.. Both of these experiences remind me of what people might mean when they say they've had an 'enlightenment experiences'.. or of 'just being'.. or of 'living in the present moment'.. I think these two sensations, 'zoning in' and 'zoning out' are quite similar to what can be achieved through meditation. Just something to ponder...

I've stated it as such, 'For any purely deterministic system, there can be no deviation whatsoever from the determined playing out of that system.' This is a problem for Materialists/Determinists/Fatalists, who feel that 'physical reality' is rock bottom.. that our thoughts, and therefor actions (choices), are purely the result of prior causes, which were not 'self caused' or 'random' or 'spontaneous'.. this problem can be resolved by transcending the 'determinism/indeterminism' duality. By recognizing the non-dual nature of reality this ceases to be a problem. If we think about something like 'size'.. we instantly recognize the limits of creating a 'large/small' duality.. is my house large? How about this peanut? What about the moon? Well.. they are all large and small, when contrasted with the opposite. When you transcend this 'large/small' duality, and recognize the non-dual 'relativity' of size, you begin to understand that these dualities we create in our minds are not reality.. we are creating a model that tries to closely describe reality.. but the map will never be the territory.