Mason Riggle

@Waken that's fine.. that too is perfect.

I love all my exes. If my wife wanted to leave me tomorrow, I would lovingly help her along on her journey, as I only desire for her health and happiness, above all else. I was fine before we met, I'll be fine without her.

@Waken everything is perfect. Reality is occurring the one, and only one, way it ever will. Any attempt to change 'how reality is playing out' is just more 'how reality is playing out'. You are something that is happening, not something which 'does things'. The only thing I ever do is 'be myself' and I'm always doing that, effortlessly.

Sure, but there are implications to this realization that can also be realized.. this 'collection of things' self is something which is 'happening' from moment to moment, and not something which 'does things' moment to moment, for example. It can be noticed that this 'collection of things' has no boundaries.. it's actually 'everything in awareness'.. you are 'all of it'. Consider that 'infinite mind' is infinitely adept at creating a 'dream' that remains internally consistent. Ask yourself, 'where is physical reality?' Where is the center of 'physical reality'? Are you closer to it, or am I? How big is 'physical reality'? You think it's 'obvious' that physical reality is 'all around you', but I'm not sure you've ever deeply questioned this assumption, or what 'all around you' means in light of 'no self'. You don't really know if there are 'really' people elsewhere having an experience any more than you know when you are dreaming that the characters in your dream are having an experience of their own. In your dream you don't question it. You don't question it now. Consider that when I say 'dream', this is a metaphor, and not a literal dream.. I could say 'hallucination', or 'simulation', or 'illusion', or 'imagination'.. The idea is that physical reality isn't 'rock bottom', some substrate from which consciousness springs.. but the other way around.. 'infinite mind' is source.. only it's pretending it's 'something separate from itself'.. this 'dream' of being an 'object/self' duality, so that 'infinity/nothing' can 'seem like' something at all.

@caelanb a few things for your consideration.. "Awakening" - Awakening is just a word we use to describe a paradigm shift, and there are many many ways your paradigm can change, and these shifts in the way you perceive reality can range from simple mundane realizations, to deeply profound insights. An example of a 'simple' awakening would be something like, the 'ah ha moment' when a child learns how multiplication works.. previously they could only add and subtract, and the concept of multiplication was unavailable to them, until someone showed them how to do multiplication, and at a certain point, the concept of multiplication was 'realized'. A deep Awakening would be something like, the realization of 'no self'.. the moment when an organism discovers that what it persistently mistakes to be 'the thinker of it's thoughts' is just more thoughts, and there is no 'locus of attention' hiding somewhere inside the organism, controlling the organism or causing the organism to be how it is. This type of awakening can be profoundly life altering. There is not just one 'Awakening', nor is there just one way to 'Awaken'. "Materialism" - Materialism is a paradigm, and many here on this forum have transcended it, the way the child from my prior example transcended addition to multiplication.. it's not that addition gets thrown out and replaced by multiplication.. there is just a deeper understanding which integrates both. So then, those who have transcended Materialism recognize the limits of Materialism.. they understand, for example, that all of physical reality is completely imaginary.. that is to say, the only place reality 'exists' is 'within your awareness of it'. Have you ever considered where 'material' reality is? Where is the Universe? So then, talk of 'proof' and 'experts' and such will largely fall on deaf ears and be dismissed here, because to someone who has transcended Materialism, proof, and experts, and physics are all 'imaginary'.. can you prove to yourself, for example, that you are not dreaming right now? What proof could you or anyone else provide you that couldn't just be dismissed as 'more dreaming'?

@Tim R missing my point. I never said something Seeming to be True makes it True. I said Truth doesn't matter, but what Seems to be True does. Are you Really talking to me right now, or does it just Seem like it? Does it matter which is True?

Solipsism and Seeming Truth is unimportant, but what Seems to be true is. Consider, is this Forum real (in the physical material sense), or is it all imaginary (Mind)? Well, it doesn't matter (by 'matter', I mean- 'seem to have some affect on experience') which is True. Either one being True, changes nothing. It doesn't matter if Solipsism is Truth, so long as it Seems like it isn't. It SEEMS like there's a me and a you. It SEEMS like I'm sitting here writing this sentence. Whether or not either of these things is Truth, is irrelevant to my experience. The only Truth is Now. Reality is EXACTLY how it Seems, until it Seems otherwise, at which point it's still EXACTLY how it Seems.

I (singular) AM Everything there is (Plural). Everything is exactly how it seems, until it seems otherwise, at which point everything is still exactly how it seems.

Ego is nothing more than an organisms attachment to the notion of a 'self' who exists somewhere inside itself, separate from itself. A thinker in addition to and separate from 'thinking'. A doer in addition to and separate from 'what it's doing'. This is an illusion. What you mistake to be the thinker of your thoughts, is just more thought. See through the illusion, destroy the ego.

Who are you telling that you are alone? We're all in THIS together.

Yeah, at 50 I'd be apprehensive about bringing a child into the world.. not so easy to chase kids around and keep up with their constant energy as you get older! But, if it's something you both are okay with if it happens that's huge (I wouldn't be so sure he's as okay with it as he outwardly expresses).. Definitely keep working on getting him relaxed, but you also want to get him in a state of hyper arousal.. tease him all day, send him dirty messages, wear that skimpy lingerie, watch porn.. whatever gets him going... and then deny him a bit... you want him so frustrated he's ready to rip your clothes off and slam fuck you til he explodes... Good luck!

@Vzdoh just some input from experience. Take it for what it's worth. Just to give you some background about my experience- I'm 46, and have been with my current wife for 7 years.. our sex is mind blowing (we have sex like 3-4 times a week, sometimes more, and this has been consistent for 7 years.. you do the math). But, before we got together, I had similar problem to you bf. I wasn't able to ejaculate from a blow job. I'm not sure of all the underlying reasons for this, but my best guess was that I had this notion that cumming in a womans mouth, or on her face, etc. wasn't 'desirable' for the woman and it seemed somehow very disrespectful to me (don't ask me why I thought this way, I don't know). In my previous relationships, short term or otherwise, I never really received much oral sex, so it wasn't really a problem. With my ex wife, the 2 or 3 times she did initiate oral, I would make the shift to vaginal at some point so I could finish, and it was never really brought up.. but my current wife enjoys giving me oral pleasure, and it was making her feel bad that she couldn't bring me to completion orally, and I shared with her why I thought I wasn't able to ejaculate from oral. Overcoming this inhibition actually wasn't that difficult.. all it really took, was my wife ensuring me that [me ejaculating from oral] was what she desired (not only because she wanted to please me, but because it was fulfilling for her as well).. she did this with her words, as well as her actions- all it took was being able to finish from oral 1 time, to break me out of my cage. So my suggestion.. he needs to feel 100% comfortable with ejaculating. This means he has to lose his fear of getting your pregnant. Leo's suggestion of a Vasectomy is a good one to accomplish this, but maybe not practical. I'm wondering, does he just have an issue ejaculating inside you, or is it that he doesn't ejaculate ever during sex? Have you tried bringing him to climax other ways than vaginally? If you begged him to finish on your body, or anally, do you think he could? Also, and this is really just a side thought- does he drink alcohol? Maybe a few drinks would lower his inhibitions.. might be worth trying out.. have a few shots before sex. Not enough to be drunk.. just enough to lower his inhibitions. If he's 'in his head' too much during sex, this might help. And one other thing.. Leo doesn't know what he's talking about because he's young and inexperienced. Men can and do enjoy sex without completion. I'm living proof. Do I enjoy orgasms, and typically want one? Absolutely. But I don't always have to finish to enjoy sex, and often times I don't finish (for whatever reasons, there are plenty) but my sexual urges are satisfied no less, and I sleep like a baby.

Still no free will. Nothing to do, no one to do it.

@Blackhawk oh yeah, that happens.

@James12345 an organism named Mason Riggle, perhaps? Who is growing a trees leaves? What's the obsession with there needing to be a 'doer' of what's happening, in addition to what's happening?

@Blackhawk what's not a choice?

@James12345 where did I say there's a 'you' who chooses? Choices happen. Rivers happen. Thoughts happen. Everything is happening and no one's doing it.

There is 'intelligent will'. Brains are often in a position of trying to satisfy several desires at once, and sometimes competing desires. Choosing not to decide is still choosing something.

@The0Self ?

@Gabith you might begin to realize there's nothing to do. You are already being you without trying to. Any attempt to change what is simply occurring is just more 'what is occurring'.

First, thank you @Leo Gura for another incredible video. For everyone else, if you haven't watched it yet, well, I hope you do. *SPOILER ALERT* DIRECT QUOTES FROM VIDEO AHEAD I've spent quite a bit of time here, on this forum, arguing against notions of 'Free Will', and one of the common pushbacks I get goes along the lines of, 'What difference does it make if I believe in Free Will or not? Why is this topic even worth discussing?' and I think this recent Video from Leo answers those exact questions. "I want to share a simple but powerful principle with you that will help you to make sense of all human behaviour and the rest of your life... ...the principle is that every human being acts with good intention. That's it." - Leo Gura I would like to suggest here now, that this simple, yet powerful insight from Leo can be recognized as one of the implications of our lack of free will, and it is, in fact, this false notion of freedom that manifests and gives merit to notions of 'evil actors' (and in turn, notions of judgement, hatred, blame towards those actors). This is to say, our belief that individuals are the ultimate source of their own actions and that they could have behaved otherwise is what prevents us from understanding the True source of all behavior, which is of course, Love. "No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks." - Mary Wollstonecraft One thing that can be recognized, which I point out as often as possible, is that people always behave however they believe they should behave. I behave exactly as I believe I should in every moment, and I can not behave otherwise. I always do 'that which my organism determines is best for it to do', ALWAYS. What a selfish fuck I am! When a thief robs a gas station, it's because that is what he determined was the 'best' way to behave at the time. Had some other action occurred to him which he considered to be a 'better' action, he would have done that instead. Once it is realized that everyone is slave to 'what they believe they should do' and that no one has the ability to do otherwise (you could only do something other than what you think you should.. if that's what you think you should do, in which case you are still doing exactly what you think you should), then it's only a small leap to understanding that the entire Universe behaves this way, the same way the behavior of individual waves in the ocean are not 'self caused', but are just a function of what the whole Ocean is doing, which is itself a function of what the Planet is doing, which is itself a function of what the entire Universe is doing. "the reason all this happens is because it must happen..." - Leo Gura To understand that the entire Universe and everything in it is 'happening as it is because that's how it must' is to understand that there is no 'freedom' in Universe.. that it MUST be exactly how it Loves to be. It might be further recognized that there is no separation between 'you' and 'that which is not you', which is when the magic really happens.. "and if you can manage that then you have completely integrated all of reality within yourself … and then you're finally at peace regardless of what's going on around you" - Leo Gura

@Hulia when I say, 'there is no other way reality could be'.. what I am really saying is, 'there is no other way for reality to be, other than exactly how it is already being.'

@samijiben perhaps consider this quote from Alan Watts- "I have no other Self than the totality of things of which I am aware." When Leo says, 'You are everyone' or 'You are Leo', it's important to understand what Leo means by the word 'You'... He is not talking about the physical, material, organism called @samijiben... he doesn't mean 'the organism @samijiben is also the organism Leo Gura'.... he means '@samigiben and Leo Gura and everything else' is what 'you' really are. This is because there really is no separation.. 'You' are 'everything appearing in awareness', which includes 'your body'.. 'your memories about Adolph Hitler'.. 'your thoughts right now'.. 'the chirping of a bird'.. 'these words'.. your entire experience.. All of it.. everything.. is 'what you are'. Consider.. if you look at a River.. can you tell me which part of the river is the river? 'The River' is actually defined by everything you don't consider to be 'the river'.. it's the water, it's the banks of the river, it's the shape of of the land, it's the river bed.. but there really is no well defined 'river' that exists separate from 'everything that is not the river'.

@Hulia suffering is a state of being attached to the notion that things should be other than how they are. When it's recognized that reality is always exactly how it is, and that 'you' are just part of this reality, and that 'you' are not the cause of 'how you are' any more than a tree is the cause of how it is, you might begin to understand that Reality is always perfect, because there's no other way it 'could be', let alone any other way it 'should be'.