Ulax

I actually found my interest and thinking processes changes a lot when I find an effective stim. Because I my sense of self efficacy shoots up and I’m locked in one what I’m doing. So my survival responses melt away and I stop thinking so black and white, my learned helplessness dissipates too and my social bonding system kicks in too.

Many Greens loves to complain about a society and all the dysfunction that society brings about. However, they scapegoat society by attributing too much blame to it when it is not the real cause for problems. The real cause of human problems is reality. All political problems are really existential problems. I use existential and reality interchangeably. I say this in the sense that society is just a collective survival response to reality. And reality itself dictates how that collective survival response manifests over time. So when a green complains about how society causes people to be marginalised they are forgetting that the real cause is reality. Reality is causing people to be marginalised. Because reality causes a collective survival response to be adopted that leads to marginalisation at that time.

https://youtube.com/@davidtian?si=WiCLrlzwscu2FZXr

DBT therapy can be helpful for learning about how to more effectively handle intense emotions imo. And if you find yourself falling back into old patterns perhaps remember that every day is a new chance to try again

Hey bro, Sounds to me like you are taking some wise and sensible steps towards changing some unwanted beliefs and emotions. I’d recommend some radical acceptance to help deal with the toxic person you were in relationship with: https://themighty.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Radical-Acceptance-DBT.pdf Then perhaps experiment with repeating compassionate and encouraging phrases to yourself: - https://www.calm.com/blog/words-of-encouragement - https://the-conflictexpert.com/2019/08/06/32-phrases-to-help-you-express-empathy/ And then re therapy, I’d say I think it’s great that you are taking action by seeing a therapist! I think a helpful approach can be to have initial meetings with a few different therapists before committing to one. And also perhaps keep in mind what sort of therapy you want. Maybe you already know this but different therapies can approach psychological change in very different ways.

@Nito I think, at least in part, you need to find some ways to emotionally regulate yourself. And you need short term and term strategies for this. Reason being that I think addiction is often a way of coping with emotional dysregulation. For short term, DBT therapy can help imo. For long term, maybe work on reducing chronic stressors if possible, work on therapies which can heal your nervous system and do the basic of sleep, exercise and diet. That said, I think it’s important to diagnose the roots of your addiction correctly. For example, maybe your nervous system is dysregulated from having undiagnosed dyslexia and having low ability to meet the demands of life. So doing therapy wouldn’t help. Also, I think consult the works and opinions of addiction experts. And see if you can get 1-on-1 coaching with addiction experts if finances allow. That said, I am just a random dude on a forum who thinks he is Leonardo DiCaprio ;). So take my opinions with a pinch of salt imo

@Leo Gura All the best re your book. Am sure it will be 🔥

What is your evidence for this?

I agree with some of what you say. But I think it does somewhat help guys with their issues. It’s not so black or white an answer as I think your comment suggests. A lot of the hyper masculine stuff centres around taking more personal responsibility and taking action. And I think that can help people somewhat improve in things like dating and what not. On the other hand, it usually leads to a fragmented mind full of disowned parts of self and a certain narcissism that can make relationships difficult and lead to various serious emotional issues imo too.

I get that in part. A sense that this core part of being a man is being socialised away and that core part can make life epic. And not just for you but for others too! And the fact that it seems like society is preventing the flourishing of men. But I feel your views discount the positives of these kinds of nice guys. Pleasant and respectful to be around, have been socialised to not cause emotional harm to people and wait until they get to know people better before making being more controversial. So are more compassionate and empathetic. Though I understand that can often come from fear too. Maybe sometimes these guys are more boring. But I generally prefer boring and polite, than asshole dudes who are more fun. Maybe this is a bit of a false dichotomy but I hope you can see my point. Imo as a young dude it’s easy to sort of demonise the nice parts of yourself or parts that play it safe as you work on trying to become more attractive with the opposite sex and become effective in the world. But I dunno I think those qualities are valuable too in their own way, and aiming for more internal integration rather than transformation is better. So overall, to answer your question, I cope with these man-children by seeing positives in them. As well as acknowledging some of the irritations.

Come on Leo. At least respond to the guys arguments. Your comment is unreasonable.

I get you

😯 Thanks

Lmao

Damn we got Leo accused of being a demon before Gta 6.