The major issue i find with therapists aside from their blatant incompetence (which i can hardly overemphasise) is their cultural-blindness.
They have a model. A high-consciousness model like IFS or psychodynamic or whatever. Then it gets polluted with all the cultural bullshit they have consumed over their lives. Its annoying af, and forever lurking in the background.
Look if you're doing some cbt or dbt idc. The ambitions of that therapy are pretty minimal. But with the higher-consciousness models the ambitions are so high. And its just not good enough.
There are some professions where in taking the role doing your best is not good enough. You have to hit the mark. otherwise you're a waste of space in the field. With these higher-consciousness therapies there are many therapists just wasting space.
Luckily therapists have about 10,000 excuses to blame the client for whatever goes wrong, or blame capitalism or some bs. Or even use culture to blame the client. Which is always the best. Its depressing as fuck.
Also, with ifs they need to do start doing loads more scientific studies if they want to being doing what they're doing with integrity. How tf can they make such grand claims and have such minimal science backing them up. Its obviously narcissistic to some extent.
My therapist i dunno what to do with him. The dude is a fucking tucker carlson fan. But at least he actually buys into the ifs model. The bar is so low. These goddamn boomer therapists man. But i dunno. These therapists have killed my view of whats possible in therapy. Of course the advice will be to find a new therapist. But the swamp is polluted. And the golden pig is said to be in the swamp. But there is no golden pig. Apparently. Especially for dudes.
Hell writing this here makes me feel better than I have in a while.
But i don't know. Without the promise of deeper therapies what is there to aspire towards? Really.
I really hope im wrong about all this.
But anyhow, I had my first cybersecurity interview the other day. Ended up getting rejected because my technical part of the interview didn't go well. Well saying it didn't going well is an understatement. It was borderline retarded lmao. Which is deflating given the consistency of my studies.
I am committed to cybersec through my following of cal newport's philosophy. But it really does feel like im settling. It really does. But what else is there? The things that come to mind would be law and depth psychotherapies. But law i don't have the study skills for, and depth psychotherapies would be out of integrity to pursue. I mean i might as well go out with a baseball bat and steal £60 every hour from people on skid row instead of becoming a therapist. It would accomplish the same.
There is something about law though. I can't tell if its my twin flame or my abusive ex. If its the former then i want to commit. If its the latter then i need to run away.
Cybersec is like a cute girl that i get along with. Its nice because its relatable. I talk to others and relate to their quality of relationship. But there's always that comparison with law. But that comparison with law feels more like the comparison with the fantasy of law. But at least there is that natural vision. But i don't know.
I have no route into law right now anyway. Aside from studying on my own. And also the level of status of my law degree program probably has some pull. but i dunno. At least the benefit of cybersecurity is that it can just be a capital building career at the very least.
But rn i feel dead inside studying it. Though there is some interest. But its hard because its a question of comparising life philosophies, which have no right answer. And you have different confident, smart people claiming their philosophy is no.1. Its overwhelming really.
But i've always been dead inside. So its a difficult thing to try to understand.
