Ulax

@Bobby_2021 Hey dude, I have an idea of something that you might find value on contemplating on. The idea, as described in the above video, is to practice making finer and varied distinctions. Here I see you as asking the question of whether being in a relationship with a woman is worth the sacrifice for men. However, I would argue that if you made more distinctions in the categories of 'men', 'women' , and 'relationship' you would get a more nuanced, and informative view. What are the relevant subcategories of men? What are relevant subcategories of women? What are the relevant subcategories of relationship? For example, I would argue that if a very traumatized man, and very traumatized woman get together in a long distance relationship that is going to lead to a very different relationship than if a psychological healthy and mature couple get married and live together. Therefore, if I were to say that it isn't or is worth the sacrifice for a man to be in a relationship with a women, I'd argue that it would depend on the following factors. The type of man, the type of woman, and the type of relationship. ---------------------- In regards to an important distinction I'd highlight, I'd highlight the distinction of 'emotional maturity v emotional immaturity' as important. I think, loosely, that the degree to which a man is emotionally mature is the degree to which a relationship is worth the sacrifices. Firstly, because there will likely be less costs, i.e. can manage their emotions healthily and thus create less unhealthy conflict. Secondly, the man will be less needy, i.e. less likely to be unconsciously engaging in fulfilling unmet needs like a sense of approval. Accordingly, I would argue the man would consequently be much more natural, and much more relaxed and satisfied in the relationship. Therefore, the relationship could be based upon two fulfilled people sharing in the beauty of each other's company. In contrast to a neurotic one, where the couple are each on edge, and stressed. And are therefore chronically and unconsciously using the relationship to chronically meet unfulfilled needs. Hence, the relationship entailing much burden for both parties.

1. The ISIS members in the Badush prison massacre. ----------------------------------------------------------------- 2. The Wehrmacht in the Babi Yar massacre https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babi_Yar (See section titled: 'Massacres of September 1941') ------------------------------------------------------------------ 3. The Taliban in the 2014 Peshawar school massacre

@3Observant6Observer9 I'd say they actually can compliment each other, as they have seemingly quite distinct aims imo. Ingram's book sort of details his understanding of the practical and theoretical aspects of the buddha's teachings. It focuses on the three trainings of the buddha: 1) Training in morality, 2) Training in concentration, and 3) Training in insight. To my recollection, his writings, in that book, were very brief in regards to the second training. He really just said 'concentrate on something'. It doesn't matter what it is really. Its just important to cultivate concentration, and there are a couple side effects involved in the process of doing. The book is focused much more on the first and third trainings. In contrast, Culadasa's book is, to my recollection, only about concentration meditation. And, goes very detailed and in depth about the process of mastering concentration meditation. Hence, you could see Culadasa's book as being a very in-depth book about the second training of the buddha. So, if you were to read both you would have a very comprehensive understanding of the three trainings of the buddha. I'd read Ingram's book first if you want to focus on: (1) Getting an understanding of what a very balanced and integrated meditative practice looks like, and/ or 2) Want to focus on improving your training in Buddhist morality, or insight. Alternatively, if first you want to focus on really improving your concentration meditation then I'd read Culadasa. ------- Regarding my own personal preferences, I didn't find either book of great use, to me, practically.

Here is, what I find to be, a useful audio course on the meditative practice: https://www.soundstrue.com/products/centering-prayer-meditations

@Sugarcoat Sounds great mate!

Hi, Intro I've come up with a way of potentially enhancing body scan meditation. I think this alternative body scan technique can be particularly useful for those who struggle with moderate-severe dissociation. I've put in numerous sections to this post, but the key idea is just in the 'technique' section directly below this intro section. So, yeah no pressure to read it all. Technique; Body scan with mantra Essentially, you do the normal body scan but when you get to a certain point you internally voice a mantra, then continue scanning. Example For example, every time you reach your feet in the body scan you can internally voice 'Mantra, mantra, mantra' then continue scanning. Options of how to use mantra I don't want to overcomplicate things. My key idea is just to use a mantra to help with the body scan. However, I thought of some ways that folks could experiment with making the technique best suit them. I think it can be useful to experiment with the: 1) Word used in the mantra, (i.e. could say 'zebra' each time, or 'ahum' each time. Maybe you like one syllable mantras like 'om' or two syllabled ones. or you like words because you have a pleasant association with it) 2) Amount of times you say the selected word each time (i.e. saying chosen word once each time or twice each time) 3) Body trigger (aka what body part you select as the point at which you say the mantra, i.e. could be your feet, or whenever you reach the top of your head), 4) Frequency ( maybe you would prefer not to say the mantra every time you reached your body trigger, i.e. foot. And, so you could use the mantra every say second or third time you reach the body trigger, i.e. foot) 5) Pacing (i.e. how fast or slowly you say the chosen word. Also, if you are repeating the word multiple times each mantra, then you play around with using different lengths of pauses between each repetition) *) Eyes open, eyes closed (Not a different way of using mantra, but can experiment with doing technique with eyes open or eyes closed. *) Posture (Can experiment with different postures too, i.e. lying down, sitting up, slouching) Personally observed benefits of technique I find this helps scanning as it stops me spacing out into other sensory experiences, i.e. thinking. Plus, I find it prevents me getting frustrated and/ or impatient as quickly. Therefore, helping me keep my awareness in the body and getting significantly more out of the practice. I struggle with pretty severe dissociation, which means I'm chronically 'out of awareness' of my body. Hence, I imagine the spacing out i experience is much more common and serious than the norm. So, I'm not sure how much more useful this alternative body scan meditation would be for non moderate-severe dissociating folks. That is, in comparison to traditional/ normal body scan meditation.

@Sugarcoat When spaced out during the meditation I'm in a sort of lala land. I find it hard to even remember. Sometimes its memories from the past that come up, sometimes i suddenly realize horrible things actually happened, and sometimes i'm just creating fantastical daydreams.

@UnbornTao Lol, the EA Sports intro to fifa games is so iconic.

Fifa

@Caoimhin Yes, I find it can be difficult to fake these sorts of things too. One of the conclusions i came to on my own journey was that an incredible amount of game is simply sub communications. I.e. you will unconsciously be communicating all sorts of messages to each other during an interaction. For example, we all have mirror neurons that are constantly pinging and processing what other people's emotional states are. Hence, the sort of rsd mantra of 'what you feel she feels'. Its this sort of learning that actually got me into deeper, inner personal development work. Also, if you want a tip, I read a book from a guy called AG Avery who recommended the following practice for increasing sexual desire. Essentially, each day sit down and visualize yourself going out, interacting with, then having sex with girls you are attracted too. That said, I think the more one sees themselves as a sex worthy guy, and has more optimistic beliefs, libido rises naturally. I'm sort of lower intermediate in terms of my game journey so far in life. So i only have i'd say a moderate level of direct experience with the above being true. But yeah hope this helps dude. Edit: Also, I think somatic meditations can help with this cultivating more sexual energy, i.e. yoga nidra

@Jacob Morres From a brief contemplation, I've selected several categories that are the main reasons people don't succeed. I'd say each category exist on a spectrum of severity: 1) Limiting beliefs, i.e. abused in childhood so lack sense of self worth that deserve success, victim mindset, etc. (I include experiencing trauma in this category) 2) Disabilities, i.e. undiagnosed ADHD, dyslexia down syndrome, PTSD (in terms of having disabling symptoms), chronic health conditions, imprisonment (i.e. by state or private person (e.g. organized crime) 3) Location, i.e. born in village in third world country. 4) Poor mentorship, i.e. deadbeat parents 5) Inability to resonate with or access healthy mentors, i.e. limiting beliefs mean that they unconsciously avoid or devalue would-be healthy mentors. Or, lack the means to access healthy mentors, i.e. lack internet access, or ability to read. Most preventative category It may be surprising but I would argue that number (5) is actually the most preventative. Because if you lack the means or ability to even entertain healthy advice you have no ability to succeed at all. Because you wouldn't even be able to entertain the idea that you could be successful or that it would be worth it. In my opinion, its actually an enormous privilege to even be able to entertain self development mentors. Because some people simply can't in my opinion. For example, I believe its not uncommon amongst the homeless population, particularly those severely abused, i.e. sexually, to not even have the capacity to entertain healthy self dev advice - let alone follow said advice. Some might argue (2) because say if someone is trapped in modern day slavery, but even then there are some people who miraculously escape and manage to become successful.

@Davino I see. With the centering prayer practice, I think the 'prayer' terminology can be misleading. Its essentially a meditation practice, rather than what one would typically call a prayer practice.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regress_argument

@zurew I'd probably distinguish amateur porn. Onlyfans wise i don't really understand how organised the industry is. @Princess Arabia I see the point you are making. However, I would distinguish your example from the porn industry. There are still many good parts to Jamaica I imagine. However, there are few good things about porn I'd say.

@StarStruck Not even to mention the sex trafficking that isn't uncommon in the industry. I imagine the lives of many porn stars are dark, bleak, and empty. I'd recommend naysayers go watch some videos about pornstars on the youtube channel: Soft White underbelly.

@Davino What do you actually mean by that practically, i.e. in terms of one's practice?

@Rishabh R Anki can be useful

The Mongols as described in the Monk's account

Not Anneke Lucas but the perpetrators of her abuse.

@StarStruck ? Dw brother I appreciated the humor lmao.

Hey folks, I'd like some help contemplating and generating insights in regards to legal reasoning. During my legal studies I've been constantly perplexed by the question of how to decide legal cases. Why should a case be decided in one way compared to another? I'm quite firm in my contention that all reasoning is inherently arbitrary, owing to my being persuaded by the infinite/ epistemic regress argument. Which leaves me in a pickle about how to approach this sort of issue. I've been contemplating this and reading academic papers on this for years but nothing quite resonates. So, would appreciate people chucking ideas at me.

@Gabith Hey mate, Perhaps, Jordan Peterson's Past Authoring journaling programme could be of value to you.

Here is a link: https://www.selfauthoring.com/past-authoring Just started working on this today. For me personally, its my favourite journaling product/ approach I've come across so far. My current goals centre around trauma recovery, and I have found immediate benefit already with it. Further, I see much potential growth going forwards too for myself with the product. Also, if you have issues with resistance to journaling (I know I have done previously), perhaps you could combine the programme with doing stream of consciousness journalling in the format described in the video below: I know previously I've had issues with regards to not just starting writing, but also not wanting to write about certain areas. Good luck!

@StarStruck I'd say a key facet is not being needy for a certain outcome to eventuate. You can desire it but some psychological need is not also trying to be met. For example, if I am talking a girl I may desire to have sex with her, and would prefer if things occurred such that sex with her occurred. However, if I have freedom from outcome I would not also be trying to meet a core of mine, i.e. need for approval/ belonging, during the interaction with her.

@MarkKol I would say non-neediness/ detachment from outcome