Ulax

Guessing its probably because of instagram and dating apps.] My thoughts would be that guys in their 30s are most attractive to women. So, women prefer to go for them. But before they'd have to settle for who was accessible to them, i.e. the young guns. If so, lucky bastards if they were in their 20s before social media, and then in there 30s when social media came out. Or i guess, maybe there are just hella lesbians living it up these days lol

@spiritual memes Hey me again. Also, if you meant that other people don't really understand IFS or are reluctant to it, then i'd offer the following opinion. Each part has its role that its acting out. And the psyche works like a system in terms of the dynamics between all the different parts, and when the system experiences something new it is susceptible to change. For example, if you see an old friend you'd rather avoid in the supermarket, then the system will change and different parts will take control of the system, and make sure their roles are fulfilled, i.e. making sure their exiled part doesn't feel panicked or something. To my mind, the same exact thing happens when you tell someone about IFS. You telling them about it represents a new input to their psychic system, and different parts will likely arise to fulfil their roles. So, its not just about telling people about IFS, its about their system being open to hearing about IFS in the particular context you are in and with all the ways that you actually behave when you tell them about iFS. My mistake if that wasn't what you were saying. But if it wasn't at least i got a chance to geek out about IFS lol.

@Rishabh R Hey mate, Sorry to hear that happened to you, and I hear that you are feeling suicidal. I have had a lot of mixed emotions with regards to how various girls have treated me in the past, and have beliefs and feelings of inadequacy around the idea that the girls i want don't want me. If you are looking for advice, perhaps try journaling about the emotions you are feeling. I understand it might not seem like it but there's a light ahead mate. If you are not looking for advice, feel free to disregard my comment. I wish you well in the meantime mate.

@spiritual memes Thank you my man I find it easy to take for granted as well. Although in a sense i don't even like teh idea of taking for granted because then im taking for granted the fact that my survival depends on my taking it for granted. BUt then i get into a chain of trying to compassionate by not judging, which in turn judges my judges and so on earth and so forth hahaha. Perhaps it is a curse. I was at a psychosynthesis workshop some years ago now. It was run by a seemingly very conscious psychosynthesis therapist who seemingly old and wise. I remember him remarking with a smile and a slight sly that sometimes he wishes wasn't conscious, and some other people seemed to agree with him. And there agreement seemed to me more a one of relating to another than conforming to another. And ye i get you re the preaching thing, i do the same. not as much anymore. well maybe i do cos i preach to my therapist about things should be all the time hahaha. Perhaps you may see fruitfulness in moving to a more conscious location one day. I had the blessing once of having a much more conscious friend than me who was also quite grounded in his beliefs, such that he didn't really hide his beliefs too much. To have a friend like that in person was quite eye opening and in aspects a wonderful experience of how it can be to relate in a different, more conscious way. Or even just visiting a conscious place. like seeking out some stage green type events, like a local psychedelic society,

@spiritual memes Yo dude, I feel rather the same way i'd say. I imagine that the world will become increasingly conscious with time. There will be some set of factors that leads one towards spirituality and self actualisation i imagine. Although it may seem random, it is, to my mind, inevitable and a part of human evolution. In the same way one may look at the rise of democracy as this thing one must be thankful for and is incredibly haphazard in whether it works or not. The same may be said of spirituality imo. I say one may look at it and see it that way because it is not really that way. If you learn about political science you will see that there a variety of interconnected factors that cause a democracy to arise, cause it to fail and cause it to be stable. It is simply our ignorance of the cause and effect relationships which causes us worry and confusion. So, with spirituality the arising of it will in the same way be simply the result of cause and effect relationships that we are too in ignorance of. For example, i imagine that it will be to do with factors such as the growth of the middle class, and a booming economy that leads to less economic anxiety and greater ability to turn one's attention higher up the hierarchy of needs. It is perhaps unfortunate that we live in the epoch that we do. the time that we do. for evolution has not arrived at a point where teh spiritual is the mundane, in the sense that it may be talked out as an everyday activity by the masses. Things like IFS, which perhaps seem to so obviously the answer to many of life's important questions is still such a recent discovery. So, to answer more directly your questions, i see consciousness as growing, i see that there will be a point at which it is taken seriously by the mainstream. But we live in relatively unconscious times. I perhaps cope best with my yearnings for a more conscious society in the following way. By recognising that my level of consciousness, and even awareness and ability to embrace spirituality keenly as an answer to some of life's questions is a privilege. A goddamn privilege. I say goddamn in emphasis, not in judgment. The toils and troubles of countless cause & effect relationships and countless people have given rise to this knowledge that i have, that we have. Unconsciousness builds consciousness. Every house that is built. Every road that is paved. it is all part of the road to higher consciousness and to spirituality. and further in recognising my privilege i understand that it is a gift, and a gift i can work to bestow upon others as i can. Right now i cannot go out and do anything but preach ideas and practices i haven't really integrated or mastered, and would be simply preaching. However, one day i wish to cultivate a mastery of both a spiritual practice and the ability to spread the fruits of that practice in community. And surrender myself to simply be a part of the evolution of mankind towards higher consciousness.

I do think a limitation of the teachings are a lack of prioritising connection with others. Like deep intimate connections. And also once surpassing one's own internal limitations, i.e. traumas, going out into the world enjoying and flowing with life. Spreading love and job naturally. Be that in one's own pursuits of craftsmanship, or the arts, or music etc. For me actualized teachings only become beautiful to the degree that i can bring beauty and emancipation to others, after achieving it for myself. But perhaps the introverted nature that Leo says he has is at the forfront here. It is easy to project one's own desires and wishes onto other. I know my life and my desires. I desire to connect deeply with others, and i want this so much that i cannot really consider the possibility that anyone does not. So, i am biases by the extent of my desires and may simply attribute desires to others who hold no such desires. So while we may see the good life as being out in the world, Leo may see it more on his own. That said, i may be speaking of things of which i do not really know. Spirituality is not a field i have explored massively as of yet in terms of deep personal experiences. And so perhaps i am in ignorance of a different way that reality can beautifully be experienced. I do have trouble with grating and abrupt nature of many of your posts @Nilsi but i think this post here shows a very valuable side to your character. I must say I dislike it when you appear to denigrate others, and i edited this post accordingly but you do make very insightful points about the actualized community at times, to my mind at least. And this post certainly contains such insights , to my mind.

@Thought Art My guy speaking facts!

@Nilsi You are correct. As soon as i became mod my mind ceased to think. Since becoming mod, every time i have to make a decision i go to my shrine to Leo, and sit for half an hour just thinking 'What would Leo do?'! Just yesterday I was at the grocery store, and the clerk asked me if I wanted a receipt. Startled I ran back to my home, and contemplated for 30 minutes, then returned. I came back to the store as soon as I could. Well actually i couldn't go as quickly because the store closed when i tried to come back the first time. But when i did return the next day, I gleefully walked up and said 'Yes, please' to the cashier. They told me they were very confused and didn't know what i was talking about, and then i reminded them about the receipt. And they said 'oh yeah', and the receipt was mine!

I was hoping users could help me generate a set of journaling prompts around exploring the topic of guilt. If you also have a resource like a book you can recommend that would be great. Thanks in advance.

@Rasheed Maybe you've heard the cliché that we stand on the shoulders of giants. What most of the names you mentioned wrote about was, to my knowledge, highly controversial and overdeveloped in their time periods. Its just that relative to today its underdeveloped. Kant, for example, was looked at, in his day, as publishing ground-breaking work by claiming that earthquakes are caused by natural rather than supernatural phenomena, whilst that would be mundane today.

@Eternal Unity Oi oi! Yes lad!

@Jannes Thats because one is addicted to dissociating, and the thing used is just the current means of achieving that dissociated state imo.

@kamwalker Ye dude charlie is the man! Loved his recent pod with destiny too.

@flowboy Ye ik Richard Schwartz (IFS founder) is a key believer in this linkage

@Chives99 Yes but the social and cultural conditioning you have received, plus your biology will generally punish you emotionally for transgressing many norms. Unless i guess you are self actualised to a higher degree. And actions have consequences. In terms of cause and effect consequences. For example, you can say its not objectively right or wrong to fuck someone's wife but when they come at you in revenge with a hatchet, they will brutalise you. And your arguments about morality will mean nill.

Here's a positive news source too: https://www.positive.news/

@Nilsi Okay I would lower the strength of presumption based on that clip for Tristan. I would like to know what books he read for I think he is an exception to the presumed view I made. Okay, I understand now what set of beliefs you were referring to by worldview. I don't see how utilitarianism fits though. But that's a nominal point.

@StarStruck I think I get you. Perhaps you are saying it comes off as weird and socially uncalibrated when you employ free association techniques in conversation? Firstly, I used to practice free association exercises at home. Here is a video that provided content on an exercise I have used to help free association. I found it helped me develop the type of mind where I would just naturally think of more conversation topics throughout the day, and in interactions. Why build the muscle only during sets? If you do it at home you build the muscle there, and can focus on spotting the the limiting beliefs surrounding free associating when in interactions and also how socially calibrated it is. Not much gained by practicing that aspect of game when in set, when you could build it at home. Secondly, in my opinion, the better approach to game is not to focus on getting results but improving your skill set. First, you get good theory on game. Second, based on this theory, you then, one by one, pick certain aspects of game to work on. You choose the highest impact areas to work on first. Thirdly, when in interactions you focus primarily on improving that one area of game you are working on. Sometimes to get better you have to get worse at first. For example, say I start working on my eye contact. I understand that if i make significant improvement with it, then I will get part of game significantly handled. So I try it, and for the first few days my interactions go to shit. I creep girls out. I feel more anxious. I hold eye contact too long and too wide eyed. So I stop and go back to my original game, and my results improve back to where they were. Have I made the right choice? Yes, if i focus on short term results. No, if i focus on long term results. No because if I stuck with working on eye contact and analysed my sets properly, i.e. via field reporting and paying attention to theory, then after a certain amount of deliberate practice I would have made significant improvements to my eye contact and ironed out the newbie mistakes with it. In doing so, I would get superior long term results in game compared to if I had just stopped working on eye contact and gone back to my original game. So, in your situation you are a newbie with free association imo. You try it for some time and find your results decrease, and as you seem to prioritise short term results you stop doing free association. You think this improves your game. And, it does short term. However, because good theory tells me that free association is a key part of game, you are missing out in terms of your long term development. If you take your stabilisers of your bicycle and you start falling off your bicycle it does not mean that taking the stabilisers off is a mistake. Game is just a skillset at the end of the day.

@Nilsi First, note that I said it is a presumption, so it can be rebutted, and I'm open to being rebutted. Second, can you link me or let me know of a way to find a source about Tristan reading 1000s of book? Thirdly, btw, I wouldn't see Peter Ralston and Byron Kate as necessarily people I would presume are well intellectually educated. And I wouldn't say that reading them helps one get more anything but nominally more intellectually educated. Fourthly, I don't understand what worldview you are referring to in the phrase "strong grasp on this worldview" or what you mean by "shallow aspects of psychology". Fifthly, I personally don't think its reasonable to assume he has read stuff like the books you describe. Why do you think it is very likely? Further, even if one does read the 3 books you mentioned I still don't think that grounds a well rounded worldview. I think "The Selfish Gene" and "thinking fast and slow" could give high level perspectives in certain areas of empirical thought, but many more texts/ lectures from many for areas would need to be studied for me to see them as having a well developed world view. So they are no doubt part of developing a well developed worldview but cannot alone be seen as comprising one. And I don't think the fountainhead adds, in the way its usually read, to much to the development of a well developed worldview as it presents only one philosophical view on the world, via the use of philosophical fiction. I don't think that philosophy gives you a reliable understanding of how the world works, as that would, for me, be a matter to use empirical works to understand, rather than using a rationalist work. I think the fountainhead could certainly help improve one's worldview if seen as a means by which to understand a certain ideology that people use to understand the world.

@StarStruck I'm surprised by your opinion. I found personal use in it, and I understand that various RSD instructors and those influenced by them advise this practice. Why do you think its weird?

@Hardkill I think this is a useful point to make. It got me thinking and I'll make an argument here about why it is reasonable to presume that Tate's worldview is relatively unintegrated and limited. (Note this argument applies to his brother too). --------------- Point 1: Its reasonable to presume that Tate has a limited intellectual education - Premise 1: Its reasonable to me to presume that someone who did not go to college has a relatively limited intellectual education I believe in typical self development circles discussions can resort to a rejection of mainstream intellectualism, and devalue too much the value of listening to people who went to college compared to those who have not. I see a conflation between the narrative that one does not need to go to college to get an exemplary education these days, and the narrative that people who go to college as a group are not more educated than people do not go to college. People who go to college, as a group, are much more intellectually educated than those who do not. However, it is true that these days some people will get a superb education, and at times better education, through their own studies than at university. That said, I believe that number is rather small. Therefore, if you pick a random person who went to college it is quite probable that they will be more intellectually educated than a random person that did not go to college. However, if you pick a random person who went to college it is not certain that they will more educated than a random person who did not go to college. To me it follows that its reasonable to presume that someone who did not go to college has a relatively limited intellectual education. (To presume a view is, to my mind, to treat something as true for practical purposes while accepting that its possible that its not true, and the view is susceptible to being rebutted.) - Premise 2: Tate is part of the group who did not go to college. - Premise 3: Therefore, it follows that its reasonable to presume that Tate has a limited intellectual education. Point 2: It reasonable to presume Tate has a relatively high potential amount of direct experience education To me, Tate certainly potentially has a form of knowledge which he has hard won via direct experience. This gives him access to a potential set of knowledge about aspects of social dynamics, business and being successful that cannot be won via purely academic means. (Note potential as his narrative surrounding his own successes is susceptible to bias and ignorance, as is always the case.) To me, it follows that Tate has a relatively high potential amount of direct experience education. Point 3: If someone has worldview based on relatively high potential direct experience education but a relatively limited intellectual education , then that person has a relatively rather unintegrated and limited worldview. Conclusion: It follows from point (1), (2), and (3) that its reasonable to presume that Tate's worldview is relatively rather unintegrated and limited.

@StarStruck Have you tried implementing free association and associated practices?

@fabger @Johnlennan @itsadistraction Hey folks, Perhaps this video will cover the sort of content you were looking for from Leo: If it doesn't cover all the bases, then perhaps comment again below about what else you would like to see talked about regarding the topic.

@Zen LaCroix Hey dude, here's my take/ perspective. Recommendation 1: Develop big picture systemic understanding regarding the development and coming development of human civilisation Seriously and sincerely study about political sociology, (i.e. spiral dynamics, ego stages of development model and/ or a academic political sociology course). And I think you will likely come to understand that the world and humanity, bar a existential catastrophe, is on course to become a better and better place as history progresses, in the big picture sense. Human civilisation works like a system and as it evolves it produces results which create better and better and better results for humanity. So, in a big picture sense human civilisation is fated for general greatness, love and wonderful existence. However, I understand that as of now there is still so much evolving to do in the big picture sense. The era we find ourselves in has many tragic results caused by such an unevolved system. Such that many people suffer and die today. I take solace in the fact that this system though unevolved in many senses, in very evolved in other senses. The growth of the system of human civilisation compared to the past and so much suffering is now avoided and transcended that was once inevitable and tragic. A note on dedicating one's life, or parts of one's life to reducing suffering One can dedicate their life to preventing a number of the tragedies that occur today as a result of the unevolved system. And I think that can bring with it a great sense of purpose and fulfilment. However, though we can decrease it, in our lifetimes widespread suffering will always remain. So I don't believe action purely towards the end of alleviating the suffering of others will alleviate one from a troubled emotional life. Where that troubled mind stems from sympathising with the struggles of so many. Hence, I think dedicating one's life to alleviating suffering is only one possible part of the picture. Recommendation2: Self-actualisation I think one must instead look to independently find fulfilment in their own life to really overcome the negative effects that understanding the world seems to have on you. I'd recommend things like: - Finding true purpose, - Pursuing health, - Meditating, - Doing shadow work - Energy work - Meaningful relationships, - Spirituality - Managing what influences you allow into your life (i.e. cutting out toxic people, leaving toxic cultures, managing the type and amount of news you let in - Finding enjoyable leisure activities are all things that I think that overcome these effects to the greatest extent. - Picking sensible expert mentors to follow - Finding high consciousness communities to be apart of (avoid cults and be mindful of cult-like dynamics tho ) - Being patent -------------- In others words, work sensibly towards the ideal of self-actualisation. Some recommended videos to explore the idea of self-actualization further I recommend watching the videos below by Leo (particularly the first one) and taking notes on these. I think these are fantastic videos on the topic. The first one is one of my favourite self development videos of all time. And when I feel lost I find this video reorients me. For me, it is like a rock in the ocean. Also, I think if you really want to get a solid and base amount of value from the actualized.org, I think going through and taking notes on the video in this site's start here section is a brilliant way to do that: https://www.actualized.org/start. Unfortunately, I don't think users of actualized.org take enough time to really study those videos, and I think numerous miss out as a consequence.

@ValiantSalvatore That's awesome stuff dude! Do you have a link or know of a way of accessing a talk/ book from dr keith witt regarding guilt that you would be willing to share? Also with the body scan technique I don't understand what you mean by 'write down what was evoked penetrating guilt so to say'.