Ulax

You're right, I did win psychopath of the century last year

Issue is many women these days want to have their cake and eat it too

People aren't that unique

Why did the parrot fall out of the tree?

i'm confused. You asked a moral question and now you complain about moralising?

Rn I have 2 quid/ bucks in my account. This is unideal. But is good for the origin story lol. Maybe i will have to do a high consciousness bank robbery. We'll see. I tried some new study techniques for my cyber stuff but they kill my enjoyment for the subject. So i am back to my trusty process. A good thing is that I started my next set of goals for my American History lecture series: I will be doing the full syllabus from lecture 4 to lecture 7. So far in lecture four i have been learning about the articles of the confederation, and the relationship that the states had together in the beginning of the united states. I enjoy doing these lecture series much more than reading books. I mean books form part of these lecture series. But i dislike just reading books on their own. This is my process. Everyone has their own preferences and processes. I hope to do a fair few of these lecture series across my life. And do the full syllabus for them too. I have an IT interview for next week. Issue is ik fuck all about IT lol. So we'll see what happens there. I didn't go out and do my planned approaches yesterday. Its ok because i can make up for them today tho. Also had another family therapy session with my parents yesterday too. Which went ok. But my dad's age keeps fucking me up, and the bruddah keeps being morbid about it. Death is something that freaks me tf out. So i hope the bruddah chills with that going forward. But yeah, things are ok. It helps when i write things out like this. The money thing is anxiety causing for sure. But i will be ok again in a few days. I hope my high-consciousness bank robberies manage to make enough to buy me some sandwiches for next few days. ------------ HOLY SHIT That was the best game session of ma life! ----

Might drop some stuff in here from time to time

How do you practice forgiveness?

That is a reassuring view

frfr

Every female friendship I've had has had some MAAAD sexual tension in it. Except for two. But i got that DAWG in me. So i may be an exception.

I get future cult vibes

😂

Also, there is much less sexual incentive for women to develop competence

I like that term: Woke slop.

True

😂

I'd read Cal newport's So good they cant ignore you book

How long do you feel it for?

Peterson says the story of job will essentially happen to us all. Tragedy, evil, unfairness, the mob coming for us, people then blaming us for our situation even when it is not on us. But then you still can decide not to be corrupted by the understandable bitterness, and callings of vengeance and aim up. In my own life, I was flying high at 18. Best university in the world. Then it all started to fall apart. Many people turned on me, including my family. Bad thing after bad thing occured. Mental illness got deeper and deeper. The worse things got, the more people shamed me, believing i must be causing my own suffering, and was doing wrong. Ended up dropping out, estranged and on welfare, still getting blamed and attacked. I will never forget being mocked by my welfare officer for where i was in life. My vengeance and anger desires grew very large. It was all I thought about for years. Many dark callings rose up in me but this story of job helped me through. It made me feel very seen and it spoke deeply to me. Helped me stay honourable. Even tho I am not religious. I see religion as a childish-fantasy. Anyway, I ended up passing through that era of my life into a positive trajectory but I know how powerful that story can be when it comes to dealing with the darker callings of the human soul.

The job story I recommend as a useful story. Forget the religious part of it. I'm not religious

I understand

No matter what happens to me I will aim up. So unless it is absolutely necessary to protect myself or others, I will not murder anyone. Edit: I missed that you said you had serious concerns about that worry. Given that I would also add I seriously recommend getting professional help with this. Work with a therapist who knows about CPTSD and narcissistic abuse. There are too many therapists naive about the reality of evil. Jordan Peterson's talk about the story of Job whilst on Theo Von's podcast is also very helpful. This perspective can only come from someone who has not experienced a certain level of evil in their life. Serious vengeance is a very understandable impulse given the level of brutality some experience at the hands of another. Acting on that impulse is a very different question though. One I only endorse in necessary situations. I detest this labelling of 'cry baby' you give as well. It's cruel and callous.