Ulax

Hey dude, Am impressed by the action you're taking. Sounds to me like you are doing the right sorts of things. Perhaps also adding in massage to help with the trauma trapped in the form of body tension could help too.

Yeeeee boiiiii. Death to normies!

Maybe try an insight meditation method like mahasi noting

Lmao, poor Leo ------------------- here's a good discussion of who Navalny was and his importance imo.

Well, cut my dick off and call me Ulaxella, I think I've finally made it out of the inner hood

@ZenAlex Have you tried any chanting meditations before?

@ZenAlex Yep. Just would require more expertise and be less likely imo. I've read numerous stories of people with severe cptsd recovering w/o meds.

@ZenAlex Plus here is a non-directive/ being based meditation technique you might not have come across before: https://www.reddit.com/r/CMRmeditation/

@ZenAlex I get you dude. I think it might still be worth giving my recommended meditation technique a go. I'm actually diagnosed with ADHD too. Though it might have been a misdiagnosis. I designed the technique around the idea of not needing to focus for very long. But yeah I understand if the ADHD means that my technique isn't applicable. I get how neurotypical solutions can just be dead ends for someone with ADHD. --------- Also, I just thought. If you have ADHD, have you considered medication. Owing to my misdiagnosis I was on an ADHD drug regiment, and involved in numerous ADHD communities. And it was a big belief of many that medication was the way to go (though not uncontroversial). I.e. stimulant medication like elvanse. Many reported that, with medication, they had massive changes in their life. Self-efficacy went through the roof, and with that many of the emotional problems went as well.

@ZenAlex (Btw, see hear feel meditation is a meditation technique by shinzen young. Basically its a mindfulness technique where you just focus on a chosen sensory experience, i.e. sight of a leaf, or thought, for a short period of time.) What worked. 1) Antidepressant (Zoloft specifically) was the big thing for me that got me out of the severe realms, i.e. suicidality, and into the low to moderate realms. 2) Cracking meditation was the next big leap for me. Re the meditation, I experimented daily for hours per day to find some technique that worked. What ended up working for me was the following. Doing see-hear-feel meditation, with no labels. But I use the following interval timer. I lie down, and close my eyes. I then only do one no labelled see-hear-feel (can be whatever sensory experience I like at the time) during the 5 second rest interval. During the 1 minute, I lie there with eyes closed and don't move, but I can do whatever I like otherwise. I do that for like an hour. ---- Also, just today I made another step forward. I use the following timer: I do the same thing during the 1 minute. And during the 10 second rest interval I do the same thing but this time I chant 'om', whilst focusing on whatever sensory experience I happen to choose. Other than these two, pretty much all the other techniques I tried ended up in frustration, and more stress. Despite putting 100s and 100s of hours into practice. --- Thirdly, getting a CPTSD official diagnosis from a reputable psychiatrist was really important for me. It meant I could get access to a lot of disability support like welfare, in my country. I was trying to work and study before that which was just one harrowing experience after another. Fourthly, I also dropped out of Uni which helped a tonne. Prioritizing healing was a really important thing for me to do. Fifthly, cutting contact with my abusive parents, and former friends, moving away and becoming financially independent. I was early twenties when I did that. Welfare completely helped with the financial independence . Sixth, therapy helped me a fair bit. Just having that support there with me was v helpful in retrospect. My best was probably my first, a male transpersonal therapist. ------------ Going forward, I'm pretty sure massage will be helpful for me to explore. I have a lot of body tension that needs working. Also, IFS therapy. -------------------------- Ending Hope this can help dude. Especially the meditation method I tried to explain. I came up with it myself and I haven't seen anything like it around. So I have hopes it could work where other methods haven't.

@ZenAlex Sorry you're going through all this mate. Sounds to me like it must be very frustrating and painful to be experiencing this after having your mental health under control. If it helps, I used to have severe CPTSD. I was bedridden by it for years. Life was constant flashbacks, dp/dr, anhedonia and pain. I was suicidal all day every day. The thing that I used to think was 'i have all of eternity to be dead, why not just stick around and see how this plays out because you never know what could happen.' Maybe that quote might resonate with yourself. That said, I respect the fact that I can't know what your situation is really like, so i understand your situation may be very different to mine. Either way, all the best with it mate.

Addition: (Combining See-Hear-Feel with Metronome/ Interval timer) To my knowledge, Shinzen Young doesn't speak on using metronomes in the above resources. However, in my personal practice, using the See-hear-feel technique, I have found metronomes useful. I find there are two types of metronomes. (1) Standard metronomes, (2) Alternate metronomes. (1) Standard metronomes The metronome/ buzzer goes off at the same time interval each time. I.e. 60s buzzer each time (example below) You could, i.e. switch the sense you focus on each time the buzzer goes off. Or rest one period, then meditate the next, then rest, then meditate, and so on. (By rest, I basically means do whatever you want) (2) Alternate metronomes The metronomes alternates between two different buzzer timings. I.e. 60 second buzzer followed by 10 second buzzer. (example below) --- I think if you're quite neurotic (as I am lol) it could be useful to use alternate metronomes. Then I'd actually recommend giving it a try only meditating in the shorter period, and resting in the longer period.

SeeHearFeelIntroduction_ver1.8 (1).pdf

To me it looks like you are being strategic in approaching the problem which is the main thing. Eventually, I don't doubt you will find the solution. However, I do detect a lack of patience in your posts re this issue. My reccomendation would be to watch Leo's video about patience.

Hard to say with new agey type folk imo

Imo, you need to weigh up the potential risk vs. potential rewards of taking them. I hear some troubling stories about people who've taken them. However, personally they completely changed my life for the better. Imo, it was just lucky that i have the brain chemistry that reacted well to that particular drug. I only took them as a last resort, when i was close to suicide. I held off on taking them for years.

Sounds great dude, right on

Damn, all the best

This doesn't stop making me laugh each time I see it lmao

You can still find fulfillment in relationships if you're emotionally healthy and so is your partner imo. Its not enlightenment or misery