Ulax

@Raphael Do-Nothing meditation is about true acceptance, as it is about 'being'. Everything is acceptable. IFS is a therapy modality based on the idea that there are no psychological disorders. Every parts of us is non-bad. Again, everything is acceptable.

Just block him, and report him to mod via private message/ relevant button

@Salvijus I don't think you even believe it yourself. You just want to believe it. It may well be true, but I sincerely doubt that you believe it out of anything other than spiritual bypassing. What help is telling a person who has such issues as I discuss that what he really wants is God. And, there will be plenty of solutions besides god.

Attend trauma therapy. And look into IFS (internal Family systems Therapy) specifically.

@Salvijus I disagree. I really don't see how that's helpful, either.

@Breakingthewall Thank you. I appreciate your perspective.

@SaltyMeatballs Hahaha that guy is an absolute legend in the PUA scene. Like insanely so. oooooo Its... Julian Blanc ooooooooo (Tyler/ Owen voice xD). Dude is legit af.

@Gabriel Joy I really think 'Do-Nothing' Meditation blows all the others out of the water, re beginner gains.

Just had a further read through the entirety of this post. I'd recommend IFS, and Do-Nothing meditation for you, bro. I think you'd really like them/ take to them. I resonated with a decent amount of what you wrote to.

@Raphael Wow! I'm going through a very similar process of my own at the moment. You usually gaslight yourself a lot?

@DManKee I agree pretty strongly with the school of life message. Its very stage green. Perhaps, with some stage yellow, as a lot of the theory is based on psychoanalysis which I'd put more into the yellow category. Its true that they will better the world. However, that can also be a form of gaining approval from their parental figure. I agree with @breakingthewall where they talk about 'improving the perfect does not make sense'.

I'm aligned with Gabor Mate, with a lot of my views. Addictions occur as a result of trauma, usually childhood related. However, I think a lot of people have a lot of structural obstacles that prevent them from changing as well. I.e. they feel very unsafe in the world because of their material circumstances (say treatment at a shitty job). And so there psychic system isn't so open to change.

You are the one you've been searching for - Schwartz

@Terell Kirby I'd disagree with the focus on forgiveness. Its important to acknowledge anger, and apportion blame to abusers before moving onto forgiveness.

@Mosess Learn marketing. Most spiritual types suck at it lol. So learning it is a great advantage.

@Spook17 Its a paradox. They came up. Follow your intuition.

@Ineedanswers What you want/ need at a given moment, is what you want/ need. For some 'body count' matters, for some it doesn't. Should it/ shouldn't it is besides the point. Whatever is, is whatever should have been, descriptively speaking. I really dislike the term 'body count', too.

@Yarco Don't be a dick. Its not commenter's responsibility to avoid that sort of thing. All the best OP.

@John Paul I'd look into critical theory, and literature theory, too.

Great! I wonder if you'd enjoy listening to, 'Bird set free' by Sia, too.

The best resources for me, were: - The method, by A.G. Avery (See 12 week plan section) - Atomic Habits Although, IFS will actually get you what you want, by getting your unconscious on side with you.

Nice dude! I really dislike the use of 'last minute resistance' in general though. Boundaries ought to be respected, particularly with lower self-esteem girls. Otherwise, you're falling into abuse territory. I get it is tough in the moment though. Sounds like your first meeting was fun, and went well! I'd send a text which shows your an empathetic/ caring human being, whilst having the boundary that other people's emotions are theirs' to deal with. Something like, 'Hey, was fun hanging with you the other night! I'd be up for a drink soon. What's your schedule like? (Hope your friend was okay in the end btw )'. Also, I'd say work on trusting your intuition with these things too. And, also if your mind's eye is developed, imagine the end of the evening as though you were her consciousness, and what the experience was like for her, i.e. what she must have thought when she decided to kiss you, at the end when she went for number instead of letting you in. I usually tend to find it a lot more positive than I'd imagined. Anyhow, good luck and hope this helps.

@RickyFitts An IFS perspective would that you have parts, rather than a single unconscious. Your pain in your head would be part that want your attention, and, perhaps, also, have something they want to tell you. So, you can just ask them, wait, and they might tell you. Re meditation, it may be that this is actually impeding the release of your emotions, depending on the type. Robert Schwartz (founder of IFS) says that traditional meditations that talk of a 'monkey mind', or 'mindless chatter', or thereabouts actually disrespect these parts and so can actually be damaging for us, and the parts won't feel safe to say release their burdens. I like 'Do nothing' meditation in that respect. No control and it seems to allow parts to speak more freely, and thereby feel more safe/ respected. Re the grief/ anger, I'd ask where you tend to cast blame. If you tend to cast it inwards then I'd suggest placing blame on other much more than you do, and if there is resistance to this, ask 'are there any parts restricting me from blaming others?'. If yes, perhaps, enquire why. It sounds like you've been doing a lot of hard, meaningful work on yourself. Respect/ kudos for that. I hope this helps!

Richard Schwartz (IFS Founder)