For what its worth.I been involved with my own personal development since i was 12 off and on consciously.reading,writing,studying,e tc than eventually giving in to society and saying the hell with self development every few years in a pattern.however,the growth ive had over the past 3 years of taking this serious like never before(im 37 now) is amazing.the difference is i stopped trying to learn things.sure,i keep journals and write notes still.the difference is my notes are all my own actual experiences as it relates to the topic as before my notes would basically be me parroting whatever book or video i was learning from.maybe if you try to stop memorizing theory and instead relate the theory to your life itll become easier to grasp.also,when i pray in the morning i give a summary of whatever theory i learned the day before and instances where said topic applied in my personal life and that seems to make the information stick on a much deeper level.it reinforces it to me as i say it out loud to the creator.