TrynaBeTurquoise

Don't take it so literally, of course its not a competition. Its just a phrase I used to convey J Cole raps about more conscious subject matter. And yes, Drake's music isn't very conscious, that was the subject of my post.

2g Psilocybe Cubensis Trip Insights: -all fear is imaginary -insanity/sanity is just a groundless distinction -language is extremely limited -the inner child is still inside of you at all times, the innocence and bliss is still there and has never left -the human form is a representation of duality (symmetry-right eye, left eye, nostrils, ears, limbs. ect) -I asked about my emotional baggage and I got an answer saying that I already have healed a lot of traumas, I need to take a higher dose to go deeper next time. Felt like I was on the brink of interacting with entities but couldn't quite channel them, although the whole time it really felt like I was only with myself, except my ego took a huge backseat and all neurosis were gone.

Excited to start keeping a journal of some parts of my spiritual practice, mainly contemplation/self inquiry and other personal experiences. Will mainly use as a reference for myself to keep myself motivated and consistent in this work, perhaps even practice writing skills or use therapeutically, but hope others can draw inspiration as well to set forth or stay on track with their own journey. I started watching actualized.org videos around a year ago. I discovered it 'randomly' through the youtube sidebar suggestions. I remember I was watching a video from Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters) when I clicked on Leo's face. It was the video about karma, and I found it very interesting. From there I watched the "most important discovery" video of Leo's, or something along those lines, that there is no "I" residing in the skull, and I had a very strong emotional reaction from it. Not a denial, but a feeling of deep unease, yet wonder, which led to more open investigation. I started contemplating that idea myself, before I even knew contemplation was a spiritual practice, and found it earth shattering to my worldview once I could not locate myself as I thought I could. From there I started watching more and more of his content, researching about the nature of perception, and becoming more familiar with non-duality. Even after I read multiple books on non-duality, I still was entrenched entrenched in plenty of beliefs, unknowingly. I had some direct experiences that started to chip away at my belief of separation, but an important point that failed to hit me on a cellular level is: the map is not the territory. In some way I felt I was starting to close off my open ended personal investigation by being "fed the ultimate answers". I knew I had to experience all this for myself. From reading Peter Ralstons work, I made a commitment to enter a "state of not knowing" and be comfortable residing in it, in order to receive real insights.

This has been my experience as well

J Cole definitely has him beat on the Spiral.

If you insert actual mushrooms into your butthole im sure it would do nothing and be the funniest thing youve ever done to yourself and a tragic ending to that poor mushroom. The psilocybin needs to be broken down in your digestive system to psilocin. Now, the pure research chemicals similar to psilocybin, 4 aco-dmt, can be plugged.

Ran into her videos when searching for Actualized.org. Almost like shes teal swan with more direct teachings.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that lsd doesn't need to be plugged.

What @ajasatya said, the things are you are afraid of in social interaction really can do no harm to you. Don't expect to just shake it off in an instant, but trust in this, the more interaction you get, you will find thats theres no reason to be anxious. Be welcoming to experiencing what you are afraid of when in a social setting, feel into it, and accept it. Picture the most embarrassing, humiliating situation and still have unconditional love for yourself. You will find the majority of the time this is just imagination in your mind and not what is really even remotely likely to happen.

This morning I had a breakthrough into the nature of the ego and consciousness. I could almost feel in my bones that my ego identity is "content" and that consciousness, this present moment of awareness, that which is always there regardless of circumstance, is who I really am and is "structure". I am an idea, or dream, inside the universal mind, having the experience of being a particular form. Its such an interesting feeling of pure recontextualization, nothing really changes but at the same time there is clarity about the things that I don't have to identify with that create unnecessary suffering. Will be tripping this weekend so am planning to question into this further. Wish me luck.

I would try to get to the root cause, the past traumas you had that makes you feel afraid of people. Lot of meditation, feeling into your emotions letting old memories come up and letting them heal. And then contemplating to get some profound insights on the nature of other peoples judgements of you. Other peoples judgements of you are figments of imagination in your own mind. Have to be totally grounded in yourself, not needing any external validation, good or bad.

You kidding me my man?

Drop the need to become rich

Its like the junk-food for your sexuality. Instant gratification, extremely accessible (like cheap, widespread fast food), hits your feel good receptors for a quick spike but then crash later (like processed sugar) doesn't have the essential nutrients you need (love, connection from real sex) so it depletes your energy and deteriorates your health. Take the slow, steady long term gratification instead. That being said its not evil or bad, and doing it in moderation isn't going to kill you, you just have to peg it for what it is.

So how did this trip affect you afterwards? Less neurosis/overthinking? Major life insights? Any embodiment taking place or are you still integrating?

If you are in an asana with your spine upright, legs crossed and don't have your back against anything it would be nearly impossible to fall asleep. When my foot goes numb I switch the bottom with the top leg. The more flexible you hips get the less your tibia has to crush your bottom ankle/foot and you can tuck the foot more in the crease behind the knee.

Have you had moderate to high dose mushroom experiences and this weed is rivaling that?

There are personally grown shrooms? Its possible they could be extremely old and lost their potency if obtained from some unknown source. Other than that, did you eat on an empty stomach?

Well, let me relay to you this perspective -Just like muscles need mechanical breakdown to recover and grow stronger, same with joints, tendons, ect. When they are stressed in a safe way they also grow back stronger and more resilient. I have dealt with chronic pain from lifting heavy in the past, but it was because of my own ignorance of -not listening to my body, improper load/frequency (going too heavy or too much volume) -being uneducated on proper from/technique -not having the joint mobility or muscle flexibility to get into quality positions (this one is huge) Especially when it comes to barbell movements. Lacking rotation in the shoulder or hip joints, having a hunched over T-Spine where your scapula is unorganized to support a stable shoulder, not breathing/bracing properly, ect. all lead to serious problems. My best advice to seek out and address these issues, I can recommend books to you if you like. Do whatever movements you can do safely. You don't need to lift heavy, but you don't have to be afraid of ever going heavy again, often times progressively trying to get back to lifting heavier (in a gradual way) can fix the pain, the body is super resilient.

Boring comes from assigning a value judgement, "this is boring" "this is exciting" which comes from the ego. Pure being is prior to that judgement being made.

I would try meditating before bed. I find this fits in my lifestyle better, improves my sleep quality. I usually always listen to some binaural beat (deta waves before bed) or tibetian bowl sound using headphones. I am more of an "up and go" morning person most of the time, I find exercise in the morning or some kind of light physical movement is better for quieting my mind in the morning. Maybe because of the natural cortisol spike in the morning, I deal with the most neurosis/overthinking/indecision about "planning for the day" right when I wake up. Meditating then does help sometimes for me, but I find physical movement fits in better and use meditation/kriya yoga as more of a winding-down activity. I wouldn't be so hard on yourself to get 1 hour. Even if you get only 10 minutes, count it as a success. 10 minutes every day is better than setting a goal for an hour and skipping days falling off track not getting any time in. Take baby steps.

A lot of "experts" aren't ready to take actualized videos seriously yet. Some will probably be open to Leos content and it may bring about some positive change. Most scientific and rationally minded people are too deeply rooted in their worldview to be open to Leo's new videos, their survival is on the line.

I think you might have one hell of a 1st trip when that day comes.

Low weight high reps is still on the spectrum of strength training, its still adding strength, lol. And no, it doesn't have the same metabolic effect. You don't have to lift heavy weights (relative to your own strength/body mass) to get an attractive physique but it is undeniably a different stimulus for you nervous system. A complete training protocol uses low and high rep schemes as well as other conditioning exercises/isometrics/mobility work, ect. There is no reason not to lift heavy unless you personally don't want to or you aren't able to hold proper form/technique under load which leads to injury, as well as not being mobile enough to load the big lifts safely.

Its a long journey of packing on a lot of muscle mass and strength and staying lean. Takes years for most to get a quality one. You don't necessarily have to "bulk and cut" to get one, even though that is the most mainstream "bodybuilding" way. You have to consistently add strength and dense muscle (full body strength/power movements and bodyweight control) with exceptional diet and lifestyle factors and over time you will develop that physique. I'm talking having a 6 pack while strong and conditioned, not a skinny guy who doesn't workout and his abs are visible. Skinnyfat is the worst physique in terms of lacking strength and general robustness. But since this is the case a skinnyfat person will see a lot of progress immediately, putting on muscle and burning fat (body recomposition) but then things will start to even out and you run into the law of diminishing returns, the more well trained you are the harder it is to get visible positive changes.