Roy

Please enlighten me with your woke Red Pill truth about how a man is supposed to be blindly marching forward in life towards his life purpose with zero care for his partner, as the woman is supposed to latch on to his thigh like a parasite clings onto the shell of a crustacean - Sacrificing everything about herself in order to convenience him and make him happy.

I don't know enough about the cesspool that is US politics to make a strong informed opinion. I think people are reading into Spiral Dynamics too much, it's meant for groups not individuals.

I've seen enough of her I think. Perhaps, her values and heart are in the right place. Though her Green seems incredibly naive, immature, and underdeveloped. I'm sure they could find someone better to lead the cause but maybe she's the perfect reflection of those she represents. Just my opinion, I just hope for more for your countries sake (assuming you're American that is :P)

@Chris365 Yea you shouldn't have to carry the load so one sided like that, a relationship is about sacrificing for each other but it has to go both ways. If she gets defensive and so reactive over bringing up such innocuous things and blows them into bigger ones it's a sign of immaturity and lack of emotional development on her part. Just make sure with the next person you find you lay down the foundation firmly very early so it's fair. Sadly most people will walk over someone else if they can, if it happens to make their lives easier, happens even between partners.

Whether or not you agree with the methods, these kinds of things represent the literal growth and maturity of society. Think big picture instead of taking it so personally. They are pointing out the barbarities of past society, another 200 years from now they will do the same for us. It is the cycle of progress and evolution.

@RareGodzilla Join some volunteer group for something in your community, there is probably lots of options, you'll find one you like. Most of the people who run it are very chill and welcoming, and most are low pressure environments. Lots of interesting people of all ages and from all walks of life.

I don't think she's bright enough to handle tying the strings of her own shoes, let alone controlling the metaphorical strings of a human puppet lol.

I'm sorry @Chris365 but if there have been issues like this cropping up and spoiling the vibe then it's probably for the best. I don't want to take your side too much because she doesn't get her say here but it's likely you're just on different wavelengths in life and neither of you are willing or trying hard enough to close the distance. Be true to yourself and find someone more compatible. It's not your obligation to become more "spiritual" or "advanced". Take your journey and go at the pace of your own life, not someone else's or their idea.

Judging by what you've said @Aquarius I think the best thing to do is mentally detox yourself from social media. Delete/close/lock all your accounts for everything you have (including this forum) except your cellphone for 14 days or a full month. Just set X amount of time and seriously commit to doing it. Take this time to really contemplate what you want out of these things, and who exactly you want to connect with. Detach from threads, conversations, incidents that stir up any negative emotions for you. Think about them for a bit, what they were, what happened, then accept and forget them. When you come back vigorously delete, unsubscribe, and unfriend all the channels and people who have caused stress for you in any way (or are pointless/who you don't talk to). I mean sit down with a coffee or something for hours and go through each and every little one. What you want in the end is a very clean and dedicated sources of information and contacts with those people and things that you get true value out of and that help serve your larger vision or purpose for your life. You'll be spending less time on it all but most importantly it will quality time. I did this some years ago and do it over again every 6 months roughly and my happiness and content has improved tremendously. Your time and attention is precious, and your engagement with the world and people should reflect that. I really hope you consider what I've said. Good luck - Roy

What @egoeimai said, finding some roommates or friends to help you transition to getting your own apartment would be wise, if it's causing massive anxieties for you. Takes the burden off a bit, financially as well. Otherwise it's something you'll have to get used to on your own with time and experience @Matt23. I'll recommend something that's helped me a lot, as someone who lacked the skills for independence for most of my youth and young adulthood. You need to gamify your life and come up with some systems that will take care of basic chores and things you have to do in a systematic way, I am analytical/organized kind of person so it's helped build a lot of confidence. Having those little things out of the way will free up a lot of your time and get rid of that background anxiety that will otherwise buzz day to day and overwhelm you. You'll have to elaborate a bit deeper on where the emotional issues are stemming from, so I'll just post this for now. Here are a few things I recommend you discipline yourself and implement ASAP. - Buy a dry erase whiteboard with a full months schedule space on it, seriously. Costs $15 at most. Figure out and write out the things you HAVE to do (errands, chores, work schedule) so you know EXACTLY when they are happening and aren't overwhelmed and surprised. If you are crazy do even more months like this! - Once a week or once a month. Check your finances for 10-20 minutes. What you spent, what you made, etc. Down to the damn dollar! Look up the "Mint" app in the google play store. It's probably the best free one out there, automates everything and very simple to use. - Join some volunteer org. Doesn't matter for what really, but it helps give you the feeling of contribution and it's a great way to meet people. Or join a sports league for something you like, plenty are available if you're in a decent size town or city. - Make a dream board!

@GroovyGuru I have been in your exact position. If there is one piece of advice for you it's this. Please stop using your mind and thinking, listening to your brain right now is what's keeping you stuck. You are safe and comfortable right now but like your intuition is telling you, it will eat at you in the future, more and more. You are young and aware of this so this is your chance to get ahead of the curve. The fear and lack of confidence will completely evaporate the moment you step out there and get some experience. It feels like an impossibility right now, but that's the truth, your mind is just telling you lies right now because it doesn't give a fuck what YOU want as a soul, it just wants to keep you safe and comfortable. Like you mentioned you're tall, good looking, healthy, interesting, logically what girl wouldn't want you? If you put yourself out there and take some action you'll find it'll actually be easy for you with all those advantages. Any desperation you have will be impossible because you'll have so many options. So stop thinking, and go take action! I mean don't fucking think about what I'm saying. Just go out there! Good luck - Roy

I was an INFJ a year ago when I took the test, now INFP. Thanks for the resources

No. THIS is Stage Green porn.

@Leo Gura Since it's likely you won't make videos about the earlier stages, can you make a detailed thread about Beige, Purple, Red? I get most of SD but I don't understand the transitions between the earlier stages as much. They seem a bit more ambiguous to me than Orange to Green for example.

@Chris365 Here is the thing about trust in a relationship, you have to give it blindly, as a gift. If you're completely honest, you'll accept the fact there is literally nothing you can do if your partner decides to cheat. You cannot control them or manipulate them, and if you try it comes off as insecure which pushes them away and not trust you. Then they'll be able to rationalize cheating or leaving you. A self-fulfilling prophecy. If you want the same trust back, you have to display the courage and inspire them by giving them ALL your trust yourself. Everyone is completely and utterly vulnerable in every single relationship, that's the risk that comes with it. Take power in accepting this truth and by showing you're secure with such vulnerability. I know it's hard, and it's counter-intuitive, but it's exactly what needs to happen if you're to deepen your trust for each other. If things go bad anyways, guess what? It's NOT a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them. You'll be able to get over the pain, because at least you have your integrity and know you're an honest person, and you move on.

Nope.

Indentity and personality are separate things, be careful not to confuse the two!

Be a mature adult and try to remedy the situation, if they aren't receptive just let go and ignore/don't engage with them in the future. Also you should never block people out of principle. To "block" someone is to not face a part of reality, including your emotions or perhaps projection of yourself you don't like. Don't limit yourself. Instead consider what you could learn from them and their perspective.

That title is one hell of a fucking quote!

Realize these for what they are, thought stories. If you're honest and take an eagle eye perspective for a moment, nobody is really "better" than anyone else. They just have circumstances that are more favorable or less for getting certain results. Depending on what you want. If your goal is to make a lot of money for example, you'll always look at rich people or those with higher paying jobs than you as "better". However if you were someone who doesn't care about money, you literally wouldn't care and wouldn't be suffering like you are here. See what I'm getting at? It's a self-manifestation of suffering, which means since you're creating it, you can also end it by letting go and ceasing to desire so many things. This isn't to say you shouldn't have goals or wants in life, just approach them without needless comparison. The only thing you need to measure yourself against is, who you were yesterday. As for the goal of getting the dream job collapsing, I'm truly sorry. That's a hard pill to swallow, but it will make you stronger given enough time passing. Take this "relief" as an opportunity to redirect yourself. You have had a burden lifted off your shoulders! Feel the lightness in your body and mind, and use that to fuel you towards something new. Even if you don't quite know what that is yet. It is important to take some time to sit in your emotions and give yourself permission to fully feel what you need to feel, but don't stew in it too long. Give yourself a specific amount of time as you make plans to go forward. I have felt a very similar kind of depression as well years ago. I found the thing that helped me most was not allowing so much of my identity be tied up into my "work" or what I'm doing to earn money. If you're too invested in something and the investment doesn't go as planned, it can be devastating. Take seriously the task of finding enjoyment and pride in your life in all it's other domains; hobbies, relationships, families, community, etc. Wisdom is balance. Good luck - Roy

Here is part of the issue. The mentality and perspective you're approaching relationships with is selfish. Relationships and love aren't about what YOU are getting. It's about what you can GIVE. If you love someone a lot, you take pride about what you can offer and get excited thinking about what you can do for them. Then if they love you in return you end up receiving the same sorts of things back! A relationship is an exchange of gifts. It isn't a mechanical transaction, if you're thinking about it like that your orientation isn't what it needs to be. Of course this doesn't mean you shouldn't set standards, or have preferences. It just means you don't dwell so much and get resentful about expectations which may or not get fulfilled. Also yes, friends and lovers come and go, but nothing lasts forever. People change jobs and move, want to live in other countries, start families and don't have time for friends anymore, and eventually we all die. Life is permanent, perpetual change. Embrace this and find enjoyment in the present moment. Your issue is you're worried too much about the future, and about getting things set up and secured for you. Which of course is an illusion and unrealistic. It's not a place to live to be chasing circumstances endlessly. Reconnect with the present moment @Shir and you will find what you've said in this thread isn't true. Hope this helps - Roy

Your life is NOT over @AlwaysJoggin. You are very young and in college at the moment, you have many years ahead of you and if you finish school you'll be able to acquire a good job which will help make you the money back and become stable again! You made some mistakes, but they don't define you. Take some time to grieve, but realize you've learned a valuable lesson that most people never learn (albeit the hard way); be fucking careful with your money! Take this as the perfect opportunity to learn everything you can about personal finance, and how to be a safe and conservative with it so something like this never happens again. These are two resources that should give you a balanced foundation for how to manage your money. Also maybe look into some mental help or psychology resources as there might be a deeper problem that led to you falling into a gambling habit. It's almost always something deeper than just liking the "thrill", consider that. https://www.youtube.com/user/DaveRamseyShow https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV6KDgJskWaEckne5aPA0aQ Subscribe to their channels and list to their advice. It will set you on the right track. Good luck

Nobody can predict the future @pluto8 so why hold yourself to such an unfair standard? You deserve better no?

I don't really have a detailed regimen myself. Just wash often with soap/water a couple times a day, and try not to touch your face a lot. Your hands always have a lot of nasty stuff on them and touching your face all the time puts it on and into your skin.

Keep to a minimum or completely cut out processed sugars, processed foods, and dairy. Those are some of the biggest contributors to acne, not to mention they are just not very nutritious or good for you in the first place. Next time to go shopping look at the ingredient list of almost every item you buy. If sugar is in the first 3-4 ingredients listed, don't buy it. Get something else.