Roy

@Zec Well, you have to ask yourself honestly; Is that anger valid anger, or unwarranted anger? Where is it coming from? Explore that deeply first. What meditation will do is train your awareness. It doesn't avoid acknowledging your anger. It DIRECTLY acknowledges it so when it arises you can realize it for what it is, and then let it pass. Instead of being consumed by the emotion.

@ginger28 It sounds like you don't respect and value yourself enough. You said you get anxious if you're even single or not pursuing relationships for even as short as a week? You feel that anxiety and desperation because you're subconsciously neglecting yourself in some way(s) and relying on having someone else in your life (a partner in this case) fill that part for you. But here is something to understand. No single person in the ENTIRE WORLD will be able to provide you with that. You need to love first. Treat yourself as someone awesome and high value who doesn't need anything, and those attachments will naturally go away. If you don't feel like that person right now do some things to remedy it, work on your body, focus on your college, fill your spare time with hobbies. Find things you can do completely alone that you enjoy, and don't need another person to do. You'll find that dating and relationships come easy if you work on other personal development avenues first.

Congratulations on being being drug free, good for you @Buddha WRX

Of course the public support would be inevitable. The majority of African-Americans are in the South/South-East right? It would be unwise to piff off such a huge portion of your population and go against the grain like you said. I'm not American so I can only say this with so much authority, but I think the stereotype of southerners being mouth breathing racist hicks has been blown way out of proportion. I believe people down there are much more hospitable and "liberal" (relatively) than is portrayed. The racism that does happen is NOT ok but I think it's a LOT less frequent than we're led to believe. It's just that everyone has phone to record everything these days and the only thing that gets a lot of attention this past decade is outrage porn. idk tell me if my perception is off.

It's one thing to break up with her to find someone more compatible. It is important you should stay true to yourself and wanting to find someone that matches you really well, especially if you're aiming for a lifetime relationship with them. On the other hand you are limiting yourself from loving her fully because you're attached to this naive idea of a man having to follow his logic? Consider how you really feel about her and how successful the relationship could be long term, instead of worrying about what you "should" be doing. It's important you reflect on your emotions about this, instead of thinking logically about it.

There is a lot of hot garbage Red Pill stuff out there these days, but at least this video adds on to a simple truth as old as time; The majority of men will shag just about anything with legs or a pulse, while most women won't. So of course they get their pick of the litter!

Destiny still has biblical levels of neurosis left over from his early days, and he's still really stuck on the debate/arguing/semantics/facts paradigm of Orange. It's likely he won't ever reach Yellow unless he transcends and gives up his YouTube channel and does something else with his life. It's too deeply intertwined with his survival and identity. At least he has some Green showing with some of his personal and political values.

Ahh so I was somewhat right making a Red-Pill reference about you Relationship contracts are a reflection of fear, not love? Maybe for you, if you feel that way.

Have you considered you don't feel emotions because you fear them, especially love? Anyway there is something deeper definitely going on. There is NO such thing as consent when you are a child, your brain is not developed enough. You were tricked & taken advantage of. You need professional help. Please get off these forums and go search for some local services that offer therapy so you can talk about the event in depth and heal.

She isn't as spiritual as you think. She can't even handle the simple trust of letting you be alone or hanging out with friends (major red flag of insecurity), but she was willing to start a long distance relationship at the same time? You aren't the confused one, she is. End it man, spare yourself and her some pain.

What's your angle exactly? Not everybody is a turquoise sage mate. Do you want people to forgo relationships for years and years until they have the meta perspective to lay that foundation? Life is too short. The overwhelming majority of people get into relationships having not yet done even the most primary developmental work prior. We need to do our best to offer the advice and tools to help them repair what leaks are there or at the very least make them ready so the next relationship is healthier. Do you see the absurdity of your expectation yet? Yes "culture" has a lot of dysfunctions and flaws in it, and thereby the people do as well. Well, we all live in it for now, so get over it!

Don't know the answer exactly, but my intuition is guiding me towards this resource so I'll just share it with you. Loving and accepting yourself may sounds synonymous with "not blaming yourself", but it's not. It's transcendent.

@Yonkon 3 times in a little over a month? Sorry friend but you're going to have to cut it off permanently. It's never going to work between you guys, no amount of passion is going to repair such an incompatible base.

The video about "should" statements. I remember listening to this in my car on the way back from my girlfriends last year on an empty Canadian highway. It was like 32 C out and I had no AC so I was feeling an elevated kind of peak sober. I was hyper focused and everything explained in the video made perfect mind blowing sense. It's had the largest impact and applicability in my life of any content I've acquired from here. For my individual internal life, and for the external macro world as well.

Please enlighten me with your woke Red Pill truth about how a man is supposed to be blindly marching forward in life towards his life purpose with zero care for his partner, as the woman is supposed to latch on to his thigh like a parasite clings onto the shell of a crustacean - Sacrificing everything about herself in order to convenience him and make him happy.

I don't know enough about the cesspool that is US politics to make a strong informed opinion. I think people are reading into Spiral Dynamics too much, it's meant for groups not individuals.

I've seen enough of her I think. Perhaps, her values and heart are in the right place. Though her Green seems incredibly naive, immature, and underdeveloped. I'm sure they could find someone better to lead the cause but maybe she's the perfect reflection of those she represents. Just my opinion, I just hope for more for your countries sake (assuming you're American that is :P)

@Chris365 Yea you shouldn't have to carry the load so one sided like that, a relationship is about sacrificing for each other but it has to go both ways. If she gets defensive and so reactive over bringing up such innocuous things and blows them into bigger ones it's a sign of immaturity and lack of emotional development on her part. Just make sure with the next person you find you lay down the foundation firmly very early so it's fair. Sadly most people will walk over someone else if they can, if it happens to make their lives easier, happens even between partners.

Whether or not you agree with the methods, these kinds of things represent the literal growth and maturity of society. Think big picture instead of taking it so personally. They are pointing out the barbarities of past society, another 200 years from now they will do the same for us. It is the cycle of progress and evolution.

@RareGodzilla Join some volunteer group for something in your community, there is probably lots of options, you'll find one you like. Most of the people who run it are very chill and welcoming, and most are low pressure environments. Lots of interesting people of all ages and from all walks of life.

I don't think she's bright enough to handle tying the strings of her own shoes, let alone controlling the metaphorical strings of a human puppet lol.

I'm sorry @Chris365 but if there have been issues like this cropping up and spoiling the vibe then it's probably for the best. I don't want to take your side too much because she doesn't get her say here but it's likely you're just on different wavelengths in life and neither of you are willing or trying hard enough to close the distance. Be true to yourself and find someone more compatible. It's not your obligation to become more "spiritual" or "advanced". Take your journey and go at the pace of your own life, not someone else's or their idea.

Judging by what you've said @Aquarius I think the best thing to do is mentally detox yourself from social media. Delete/close/lock all your accounts for everything you have (including this forum) except your cellphone for 14 days or a full month. Just set X amount of time and seriously commit to doing it. Take this time to really contemplate what you want out of these things, and who exactly you want to connect with. Detach from threads, conversations, incidents that stir up any negative emotions for you. Think about them for a bit, what they were, what happened, then accept and forget them. When you come back vigorously delete, unsubscribe, and unfriend all the channels and people who have caused stress for you in any way (or are pointless/who you don't talk to). I mean sit down with a coffee or something for hours and go through each and every little one. What you want in the end is a very clean and dedicated sources of information and contacts with those people and things that you get true value out of and that help serve your larger vision or purpose for your life. You'll be spending less time on it all but most importantly it will quality time. I did this some years ago and do it over again every 6 months roughly and my happiness and content has improved tremendously. Your time and attention is precious, and your engagement with the world and people should reflect that. I really hope you consider what I've said. Good luck - Roy

What @egoeimai said, finding some roommates or friends to help you transition to getting your own apartment would be wise, if it's causing massive anxieties for you. Takes the burden off a bit, financially as well. Otherwise it's something you'll have to get used to on your own with time and experience @Matt23. I'll recommend something that's helped me a lot, as someone who lacked the skills for independence for most of my youth and young adulthood. You need to gamify your life and come up with some systems that will take care of basic chores and things you have to do in a systematic way, I am analytical/organized kind of person so it's helped build a lot of confidence. Having those little things out of the way will free up a lot of your time and get rid of that background anxiety that will otherwise buzz day to day and overwhelm you. You'll have to elaborate a bit deeper on where the emotional issues are stemming from, so I'll just post this for now. Here are a few things I recommend you discipline yourself and implement ASAP. - Buy a dry erase whiteboard with a full months schedule space on it, seriously. Costs $15 at most. Figure out and write out the things you HAVE to do (errands, chores, work schedule) so you know EXACTLY when they are happening and aren't overwhelmed and surprised. If you are crazy do even more months like this! - Once a week or once a month. Check your finances for 10-20 minutes. What you spent, what you made, etc. Down to the damn dollar! Look up the "Mint" app in the google play store. It's probably the best free one out there, automates everything and very simple to use. - Join some volunteer org. Doesn't matter for what really, but it helps give you the feeling of contribution and it's a great way to meet people. Or join a sports league for something you like, plenty are available if you're in a decent size town or city. - Make a dream board!

@GroovyGuru I have been in your exact position. If there is one piece of advice for you it's this. Please stop using your mind and thinking, listening to your brain right now is what's keeping you stuck. You are safe and comfortable right now but like your intuition is telling you, it will eat at you in the future, more and more. You are young and aware of this so this is your chance to get ahead of the curve. The fear and lack of confidence will completely evaporate the moment you step out there and get some experience. It feels like an impossibility right now, but that's the truth, your mind is just telling you lies right now because it doesn't give a fuck what YOU want as a soul, it just wants to keep you safe and comfortable. Like you mentioned you're tall, good looking, healthy, interesting, logically what girl wouldn't want you? If you put yourself out there and take some action you'll find it'll actually be easy for you with all those advantages. Any desperation you have will be impossible because you'll have so many options. So stop thinking, and go take action! I mean don't fucking think about what I'm saying. Just go out there! Good luck - Roy