Roy

I did Salvia once when I was 18 which was a rather interesting but largely neutral experience, because I was atheist then and just did it out of curiosity and for fun with a friend. Other than that only marijuana and alcohol drug wise. It's funny because back then I planned on doing a lot of psychedelics when I was this age I am at right now (27), but now that I am here I still feel I am not ready or the person I imagined I'd be back then. I still have some struggles with depression and other things that are making me quite fearful about getting serious about psychedelics. I feel like I need to accomplish some more practical things for myself before I delve into that. Life is a long time though so I'm just going to go at my pace and when I'm ready I'll know it. I definitely do want to have an ayahuasca ceremony at some point in my life, as well as a classic shrooms and LSD trip.

Re-frame so you think of rejection as a simple mismatch, rather than a result of "deficiencies". So if something doesn't work out you don't automatically have a negative connotation and emotion about it. Instead you just accept it and think, "Ok, it just wasn't meant to happen."

Was initially to solve my depression and other neurosis, but has also partly been because of an internal intuitive force (my soul?) telling me that there was definitely something more to the world and to existence than what my previous atheistic/materialist mindset was giving me. I basically realized one day, "Ok. All this science is nice but it can't possibly be it. This is not satisfying enough." Saw those limits and starting looking for other things. It's funny because some years ago way before I knew about Actualized.Org, or listened to Leo, or practiced any spiritually, I was pondering to myself what would make the most sense to explain reality, and I came to the conclusion that the universe simply is itself, and that it was it's own God. With no beginning or end, just constant change. It felt kind of gratifying to be told basically the same conclusion from Leo but still I'll have to verify it for myself experientially. It has only been an intellectual understanding thus far.

You have become too disconnected, detached, and intent on analyzing too much. Like it even matters if you end up "understanding" the why of everything anyways........ Stop worrying so much and just fucking be! Because it's the place to be!

Not sure. It would be rather annoying if it became too popular though. It's way too simplified of a model, and can easily be turned into an ideology like it already has been here.

hmm... interesting they would say that. I think there are a few options here. 1. They ARE trying to manipulate you or 2. they have been manipulated before and want to check in that their behaviour is ok (ie they are anxious that are being manipulative)

My partner and I have had a very similar experience, except it was me doing the pointing out not the other way around like your case. You don't need to do anything. What she needs to do is take a step back and let you worry about your own development. So explain this to her and ask her nicely. If she's truly mature she'll understand. People need to go at their own pace, and for a relationship to work successfully you need to have the space to be individuals without the other person butting their head in too much.

I'm planning on going back to therapy for some things. I am under no unrealistic expectations they have to understand any of the things talked about here. If that's your attitude you're probably not gonna get much from going.

Hey @Leo Gura, you mentioned a few videos back you purchased a new custom house. Have you moved in yet and can you give us a video tour ? It would be cool to see how you planned and set things up to match the flow of your lifestyle, and if there are any larger plans to run a retreat center from it or something like that. Cheers!

Isn't that what most of the right-wing populism in America is now? A lot of Republicans will PUBLICLY denounce xenophobia, racism, and authoritarianism, and I'm sure the majority of them don't actually have a racist bone in their body. But like you said it's sneaky - In the back of their minds (unconscious or not), they're probably just happy to get more votes in the ballot box and more campaign money from donations, even if it's from Neo-Nazis. Because we can't have those lefties winning can we!?! The line is basically the environment in which the politics is taking place. If there is heat in the air and things start to get nasty (violent) we see peoples true colours and who is willing to slide into fascism. How far are they willing to bend or abandon their principles in order to get what they want?

Don't let this become a limiting belief. In this economic climate most people around that age are living with their parents if they aren't in college or uni full time. So that means a lot of the girls you're probably going to meet will be in the same boat as you.

It's an example of extreme attachment and fear on her half. Her ego loves it when things are going great and peachy, and then when she loses control or there is a bit of turmoil/conflict she uses any means at her disposal to hold on, including violence in this case. Anyways I'm glad there seems to be an understanding on her part. Remember, don't buckle or cave if she comes crying and begging to stay. It's key in those moments not to get lost in past emotions but to be imagining the future healthier you. Easier said than done, obviously. Good luck hope things turn out well for you.

@Vercingetorix Yea man idk if you came here to try to get back together cause you mentioned she is your ex, but from what you've said so far the best thing for you is to move out/or kick her out and cut all financial ties and communication, ASAP. Also please 100% start (secretly) recording and saving any abusive texts/threats or video evidence of her hitting you or breaking your things. You need to be legally covered encase she goes ballistic or tries to blackmail you with a sexual assault charge or anything like that when you try to leave her. I know it might not be how you view her now, but do not underestimate what people are capable of. She has already proven she's willing to cross physical boundaries, so pretty much everything is on the table now. If you have any self-respect you should have a zero tolerance policy for that kind of behavior in all relationships. You deserve better mate, fucking treat yourself like it! Don't let her gaslight you into thinking you need to "try harder" to love her or be attracted to her or any bullshit like that. I know it will be painful, but it's gotta happen. This is not salvageable. You don't need to change yourself, you have to change the kind of people you pursue like Leo said.

Notice that a "destination" does not even really exist. Every present moment brings you to the next present moment. Life doesn't just "stop" because you reach a set of circumstances or accomplish a goal. You still have to keep going to maintain whatever it is you were after in the first place, thus still on the journey.

Because she is selfish. Just by what you're saying here she's only oriented to worrying about what she is getting, not what you are. Which is the opposite of a what a relationship needs to work. Preferences could change over time, but it could take many many years. There is also no guarantees. If you aren't attracted to her now, you probably never will be, sorry. Huge red flag. Not even a red flag, a fucking nuclear siren. I'm not sure if maybe English isn't your first language. Are you literally saying she threatens and beats/hits you @Vercingetorix?

Do not have coffee before and during workouts, that's so much unnecessary strain on your heart.

Life purpose and self-actualization first. If you get other parts of your life handled prior it will be much easier to do dating and pick-up, you will be much more attractive and high value right from the get go.

@Kiko Don't blame yourself like it's your fault. She was probably just uncomfortable because there were expectations planted in both your minds by your friend, and that killed the natural buzz that could have happened otherwise. Things need to happen organically. It's obvious why it didn't work out. Having a preconceived "obligation" to get together just spoils everything from the start. It was never going to work out because of this. Not your fault so you can relax.

@Recursoinominado I've never studied or practiced any pick-up in my life and did this multiple times when I was a bit younger. I would hesitate to call it skill, it feels like I was just lucky to have the natural killer instinct (and looks) to be able to do it. With this one girl we literally never exchanged a single word. We just caught each other glancing at one another a few times, she walked by me to go do something, which I pretended not to notice. Then when she walked by me again I gently caressed and grabbed her hand and guided her back to my room to get it on. I didn't even get her name until a few days later, hah. I'm not even sure how I would describe or teach anyone how to do that. It's just one of those things where you "know". It's a deep animalistic feeling, there is no thoughts or mind involved. In fact there couldn't be because that would fuck it up.

It's actually more accurate to say this is the other way around. Women in general (not just the "top" ones) have the advantage on dating apps and have a much larger pool of men to choose from. I don't know why it keeps getting brought up so one lopsidedly, maybe bitter men are just more vocal in this domain? But statistically men cheat WAY more often than women, across nearly every culture. This is fact. However I think it's not brought up as much because while both sexes will be happy to demonize cheating women as whores, sluts, etc. Cheating men only get mostly women pointing out their poor behavior, because there is a subconscious attitude in the psyche among men (toxic masculinity, if the word means anything) that a guy who can get with a lot of women is "skilled, cool, and a player." Even if that includes cheating. Obviously it's low consciousness behavior all around but we need to be fair about this if were going to talk about it. Because this is considered more of a personal issue and not a larger social one. The context of the conversations that it's taking place in are mostly among family members at the dinner table and small groups of individuals and friend groups. Nothing. This is the inevitable trajectory of our culture and society. Worry about upholding your own values, because you aren't going to convince the masses that what they're doing leads to suffering. Social programs, higher taxes, a green revolution (sacrificing/sharing/donations/communal living). This is the direction we need to go especially with climate change looming over and stressing every system. Reform our education system to teach our youth about just how terrible and reckless our culture is towards sexuality, and inform them of the dangers. I'm not sure exactly. I'd like to add one last point that polygamy is not sustainable for our species but monogamy is. It's obvious math.

Taking advice from others can be extremely useful, because you are possibly getting another perspective that might not have been possible for you to consider on your own. This exploration will help you expand, don't close yourself off to that.

Notice how you're feeling all those emotions, yet you keep coming back to it. What does that tell you @Tiny Nietzsche?

Yes they probably find you attractive. It's just a word they use to describe it. It might have flowed better with the context of the conversation. Don't over-analyze this. Just be happy you got a compliment and go from there!

Yes. And going from Tier to 1 to 2 is one of the largest. It is distinct in that it transcends a massive realm of bullshit the other stages are stuck in, and sees relativity in it's true nature for the first time. This is special. No, but it's a LOT more neutral than the Tier 1 stages. Of course, Yellow is just free of more forms of deception than the other Stages. That's what developing includes. Yes, because a lot more things get done and improvements can be made if people are cooperating and not stuck in their own bias' and ideologies. Honestly though what's the point of this thread? It seems like you just have a bone to pick with Yellow. Do you resent it or something? What's your angle.

A noticeable fundamental difference is Yellow (proper Yellow that is) doesn't moralize, and sees the relativity of everything. This is a massive leap where you're able to eagle eye everything from a distance without being personally/emotionally embroiled in it. Red, Blue, Orange, and Green don't do this same thing @cn03. They are all immature and undeveloped to this facet. Which is why they are what they are, and not something else. A big tell to this (though not a perfect indicator) is when you see people having a discussion. A Yellow person will not get angry or be fixated on crusading to convince the other person of something. Lower SD stages almost always will.