Roy

Sam Harris is fantastic. He's just gotta do more psychedelics and stop giving so much craps about the culture war, and Islam, and he could serve as the perfect bridge between ultra rationalist Orange and relativistic/spiritual Green. It would also help if he distanced himself some more from the intellectual dark web and debating so he can focus more on his own individual pursuits. Maybe Covid will facilitate this a bit. Like many other figures in this space he is too invested in defending his identity and worrying too much about what people think.

Yea, but there are millions of people doing everything, all the time! Focus on being a creator rather than a competitor.

You think you want that, you don't. Even if you could do it, you'd be going against your higher conscious and feel shitty. If not during, then after. Yea hopefully they find out sooner than later so they can ditch the whores and find someone better. Hopefully after the women realize what they've done they outburst back at their scummy boss and lose their jobs too.

For them to go outside, and meet people. It's really that simple, no matter how harsh it seems. Every second not doing this is a second not going towards the solution. Nobody is perfect for everyone, but everyone is perfect for someone.

Most of these guys would actually be bearable to listen to if they were more focused on shoring up the substance of their arguments and content, and making interesting strides in conversation, but it seems over the past handful of years they've all become like crack addicts about crying over the culture war and jerking each other off about how victimized they are (ironically becoming just as bad as snowflake liberals in the process lol). Not to mention the endless political commentary spam about every stupid little thing that happens in that country. I can't think of anything more fucking YAWN then a bunch of successful white men sitting around complaining in an echo chamber about how they're missing out on an extra 10% of income because of big bad YouTube instead of trying to find to fight the fight they're always on about. They are selling out on losing. I don't even know if "pathetic" is a sufficient enough adjective to describe that. If someone has a more accurate word please let me know. @Preety_India Tucker Carlson and most of them POS snakes who will say whatever they have to for more clout and to maintain their ego. But in particular I don't think Ben Shapiro is a bad person, I've seen hours upon hours of him and I believe he's just a sheltered simpleton who thinks he's way smarter than he actually is. He's a great example of someone stuck in paradigm lock. His brain (currently) is unable to comprehend that Conservatism & Liberalism can actually both have truths within them simotaneously. From his perspective though it's a zero-sum game and either one of them is completely right and the answer to every issue, or it's not. He's still pretty young though so he has time. I think deep down his heart is in the right place it's just chained up by attachments to certain dogmas and rigid ways of thinking. However if he develops some more perspective and breaks out of his paradigm he has the kind of qualities and charisma that I think can bridge the gap between Stage Blue & Orange help push Conservatism in the US forward to something more healthy. We will see though.

1. What was the single most impactful insight/epiphany that hit you while you were sober (not on psychedelics)? Something so profound that it literally left your jaw open and made you cancel the rest of your day. Why was it so significant etc. 2. What inspired Actualized.Org and how did it start for you/what was that process like? Was it something specific you had in mind for years or was it the culmination and morphing of different ideas?

It will hurt him, and probably you as well. It will also take strength, but it would be best if you cut it off. The longer it goes, the harder it will be not just for you to do it as your lives intertwine more, but for him to accept it and move on from it. If you're this unsure, judging from your language it's not meant to be. That's ok! Just thank him for the great 3 months, reaffirm that he's a great guy. It's just not working out and not where your heart is. That's all you have to say.

Wow that's insanity, 15 years! What a colossal waste of time. This twin flame stuff is the definition of cringe. It's like people who never grew out of a 13 year old's naïve fantasy of what a relationship should be lmao. There are literally tens of millions of people out there (probably even more to be honest) that any one person is compatible with for a very deep, passionate, long-term relationship. It doesn't even take much digging to realize the kinds of people that are susceptible and fond of the twin flame stuff have either low self esteem/image issues, attachment/neediness issues, or a severe hole or lack in their life that's gone unaddressed. What's really happening here is a person has come into their lives that they really like and hit it off with, and because they conveniently fill the holes or alleviate some of the problems mentioned above, their mind seizes the survival opportunity to blow things out of proportion. It comes up with rationalizations and projects/creates a massive amount of fantastical stories about them being "literally perfect" or "the one and only" for them. It can even get to delusional levels like the story you mentioned with that woman. That's not to say those feelings can't be real and to discount the connection that's there, it's just that it will never put a dent in the Absolute Truth that everyone is completely 100% whole on their own and there is no ultimate destiny for any two people to be together. If it's really meant to be as some meta-physical truth then there would be a transcendent magnet like force, and there wouldn't be any doubt, complication, or hesitation and it would be a two way street every time. Not a one way like it is here for the OP. The experience he's described here should make something abundantly clear; He's lacking something (probably hasn't had a relationship yet? idk) and lost in the delusions and emotions that his mind has conjured up about this person, and he's too lazy and fearful to move on from the story he's created. He doesn't want to acknowledge that there are more options for him out there, it's too scary to let go of this and do that work. Let go. You're amazing as you are.

Never kowtow to a woman, especially if you're taking care of and are on top of the stuff that matters. The way you deal with this is to give ZERO fucks or attention to her nagging. She will seem upset at this at first, but it will fade because deeper down she will respect you (even if it isn't verbalized) and eventually she will chill out. Like she got really mad at you because you had a hole in your sock LOL? Yeah fuck off.

People can have mild preferences and kinks for sure nothing wrong with that, but realize most fetishes are the result of someone who has come desensitized to common sexuality and needs to find more intense or "taboo" things to satisfy themselves. What you probably need is a break from sex/porn for a while and to purify/reset that part of your life, so when you come back to it it's with a healthier perspective and attraction to most women again instead of just your fetish.

Do your best in your personal life to minimize your impact and contribution, if not for the planet but for your own mental health and conscious............. ..because yeah we are unequivocally fucked. Civilization is going to collapse in less than 50 years. Enjoy it while lasts and try to spread as much love to the world as you can in the meantime. It's the only thing any of us can do.

If the good heavily outweighs the bad then it's probably worthwhile to him as a friend. If it's causing you stress and it's happening frequently, just bring it up and address it in a kind/direct way. If he doesn't receive it humbly enough and refuses to work on it, well it's a shame but you might have to cut him off and find a better friend. Everyone has their flaws of course, but if you truly respect and value yourself there is only so much you put up with or allow yourself to take until you create some standards. Personally I don't put up with any shit anymore. I only bother with having the absolute closest and compatible friends possible. Any hints of toxicity that I know won't be fixed soon enough. I cut it off immediately. Good vibes only. This has left me with not many friends as I used to have but that's ok.

Nobody (or not as many) would survive if women were tasked with the role doing the more physically demanding or dangerous things like hunting or fighting. It's about utilizing the available resources and strengths as best possible for survival. Men and women are good and bad at different things, that's why distinctions are made, because they are useful to our survival. We live in an age where we are now insulated from nature and danger so we deconstruct these distinctions. Though the sexes seem to still graduate towards their inherent strengths (why fight uphill?). When your village is under attack from an 800 pound grizzly bear who would you rather give your 3 only spears to? 3 200+ pound men? or 3 150+pound women?

allow me to introduce myself

This will just be some quick points to consider I don't have time for a super detailed answer, apologies; - It's probably a mental block from her upbringing, like you've mentioned. She might have some self-esteem issues around her body and lacks confidence because she wasn't taught or given implicit permission to explore her own body, which keeps her reserved and closed off physically. She needs to go back into her past either through contemplation on her own to unlearn and unwire what she was taught, if she can't do it on her own consider consulting (with a female) sex therapist. Also give her permission to masturbate on her own. You need to encourage her to use it as a tool to understand her physiology better, and that she doesn't need to be ashamed of it. It's perfectly natural. If she doesn't exercise already it might be a good idea as well, that will help her get in touch with her body as well. Most women don't these days unfortunately which contribute to this. - If you want to last longer you counter-intuitively need to feel into your body more, not get out of it using your head. I have struggled a few times with PE before and I've crushed and conquered all anxieties around it for good now by getting in touch with myself and the "feeling" of sex more. Meditation practices help with this as you will get used to tapping into feeling more frequently, and dissolving thoughts. Thoughts are exactly what causes not lasting very long, because it's a self fulfilling prophecy that if you're worried about it, that's what you'll be focusing on. Tap into your body and the sensations more, not just in your penis but in everything else. Feel breathing, feel your leg muscles, feel the heat of your blood flowing, and feel the rhythm of the sex. You want to be going with a natural and comfortable pace, and leading her. Instead of worrying about details about what position necessarily, or how long you should be doing something. The sex will be more intimate and deep if you let it guide you and submit to the feelings and emotions of it, instead of trying to mechanically control it. Just my experience. - Consider buying a vibrator dildo to help stimulate her, a decent one is $40-60 and a worthwhile investment. It is your friend here. She can use it solo. She can use it on you. Or you can use it while eating her out or having sex with her. - Also try this technique if you don't know about it; Good luck mate!

This is a fantastic point @DrewNows, but you also have to realize there is only so much time in life, and if one wants to get far places or accomplish great things only so much time can be spent acknowledging "low consciousness" things. You are right in principle it's probably not great to deny parts of reality, at some point though you have to cut your losses and be focusing on what's important (relatively).

Absolutely fantastic news. I was contemplating leaving recently out of despair over how much low consciousness, garage, bad faith posters were able to go about with impunity, and of course never having the awareness instilled in them to change to their actions through negative feedback. This place should be treated a lot more preciously. There simply isn't a lot of options to go to if you're serious about this work and are looking for like minded people. Most of the world just isn't open to this material and that's ok, it's just frustrating and exhausting to have to spin your tires endlessly to get any traction in a conversation with someone who isn't open enough to it. Good on you @Leo Gura!

You're just having the realization that most people are bullshitting themselves and you're no longer playing the game. Which is a good thing because the game is bullshit, but feels awful and scary because now you don't feel grounded in anything. There is nothing to stand on or hold onto, and you're stuck swimming. Realize the swimming is actually a good thing, it's making you stronger while others are lazily lying on islands of delusion and their muscles are atrophying. You aren't going to drown, you're gonna be ok

Spend enough time to know the big picture macro stuff that's happening in the world, but don't waste your time becoming an encyclopedia of semantics that needs to keep up with every little detail of those happenings. Never follow any one news source consistently, as in don't subscribe to them and worry about consuming the content they put out every day. Rather dabble and constantly jump from one news source to another so you get a well balanced perspective on the "truth" of what is going on. When you start to become a fan of a channel or catch yourself attacking or defending different perspectives, then you've already lost. This isn't to say you aren't allowed to have preferences, just be careful not to get too attached to them.

Most important thing to realize is that you'll be completely fine either way. Make your perspective a win-win. You either get the girl and that's awesome, or you're free to live your life and look for someone else if you want! Good luck @BjarkeT wish you well!

??? Do you have any awareness of how unbelievably unproductive and errant you're being in this thread with comments like this? Then to say "I'm leaving I don't care about this thread." .............only to come back and triple dip into the fire you started with gasoline lined comments? This thread isn't about you @Keyhole. Really consider being careful about what you say to a person in his position, he already used a huge amount of courage and energy to admit some of the things he's done and to look for help. You need to self reflect on some of your tendencies to be reactive and outburst at people when they go against your grain. Think about the fact you're even lecturing a moderator twice your age. The OP even said that he is exhausted from this and is tempted to regress back into his struggle because of the poor conversation here. When you're confronted with a response like that from him have the tact and humility to either apologize, be more gentle, or simply leave like you said you would the first time. I have reported you because this behavior has come from you before, and is not desirable especially in a subsection as delicate as this one.

I imagine many of them in their private lives indulged in learning about spiritual concepts or practices, it's kind of inevitable that you end up stumbling upon those things when you're always thinking about the big deep questions of life. You have to realize though the culture of science that they are in throws the baby out with the bath water by conflating traditional religion and spiritually/mysticism as all the same thing. Anyone who publicly comes out espousing these things too much as a scientist or pushes back against their community will be shunned and ridiculed, which in turn can damage their careers and reputations. They are "stuck" for now, but in 50, 100, 500 years spiritually will perhaps be the main course or at least heavily integrated into science in ways that seems preposterous now. Progress is just slow and it looks bad now because we're in the dark ages relatively. Science isn't really that old when compared to religion.

Focus on improving your own self-esteem and learning to accept yourself more and more, then other peoples opinions of you ultimately will become irrelevant. Rejection actually only has power of you because you let it.

Well you're already onto one of the most important lessons in what you just said - balance. Don't be a doormat for them to walk on or they lose respect for you, but don't be too much of a dick either or they won't want to be around you. Just do the best you can with the knowledge and experience you have. If things still don't work out that's on THEM. You're already doing the best you can so don't worry about it.

Friends with benefits does not exist (unless it's between 2 sociopaths), sooner or later one person will develops feelings or will break the unspoken "contract" of the relationship in some way. Like you've described here. There is nothing to "understand" here. Both of you probably contributed to screwing this arrangement up. And from what you're saying about her it seems she doesn't know what she wants, otherwise she wouldn't have allowed things to become "serious" or demanded she be "treated as a lady". Also don't waste your time thinking about stupid internet terms like simp or incel. The kinds of people that come up with and use those words spend too much time on the internet and not in real life.