Roy

Nobody. It's a matter of looking deeper, no thoughts required

No friend, you are aren't going deep enough with your understanding. You see what really feels good and what's guiding those guys in the first place whether they take action or not is the potential for being successful and having good experiences (love) with those women. But there is the surface level of "feeling" (aka rationalizations, excuses, negative self-talk) that makes it feel shitty, because those things are just survival mechanisms that keep the ego in tact and safe. In this case the ego that thinks; it's not good with women, it's not me it's them, I can't feel pain of rejection if I never try, etc. Don't get stuck at the surface levels. You need to work at this. You don't get your cake and eat it too, so to speak.

@Nthnl Well, ignoring all the endless circular intellectual/conceptual talk about if it's "right" or "wrong" for a second - If you were to murder someone, what do you think you would feel? How do imagine it would make you feel? Probably shitty right? Do you imagine you would you hesitate before or during the act? Scared you would get caught? Fear that it would damage your mental health? Resentment, guilt? That tight feeling your throat? All of these deeper feelings (aka Truth) are signs and signals from and to the universe (you) is/are possibly moving towards something not that you "should" or "shouldn't" be doing, but a potential filled with suffering. Not just for yourself but others as well. Conversely you are probably thinking, "Well what if I was in poverty and I need to kill someone?! I need to take their stuff to survive!", or "It might make me feel good to kill my wife because she cheated me that whore!" See all those are just surface rationalizations, and thought stories. They aren't real feeling, because if a person were to be honest enough to self-reflect past their own biases (which they aren't in most cases unfortunately) they'd see all the signals and inner resistances. Once faced with those "truths" it simply wouldn't be possible to murder. Not because it's right or wrong, but because it's simply moving the universe towards a worse potential of suffering. Now a deranged person or sick psychopath who can't tap into that "feeling" doesn't disavow any of this, it just means they are unfortunately filled with ignorance by luck of bad genetics or a shitty childhood/environment. There is no evil, there is just ignorance about the potential way things "could" be in the universe, that ignorance leads to suffering. Suffering is an inherent "negative" let's say, which I hate to even use that word here but it's accurate for now until a replacement comes along. Why is it an inherent negative? Well aside from the obvious intellectual conversation, more importantly what does your first person experience and intuition say? There you go. That's all you need to know and embody. All of this information is courtesy of God Emperor King @Nahm a really cool guy on these forums. He can articulate this stuff better than me.

Kanye is just an interesting eccentric dude that's all over the place. Just don't take him too seriously and everything will be fine. The problem is people idolize these sorts of characters way out of proportion, and expect their skills to be able to translate over to anything. Kanye is a fantastic artist and original thinker, but that doesn't mean he can suddenly become a seasoned politician that can make all his radical ideas happen. I mean he's welcome to try but don't be surprised at the results, or if nobody takes him seriously.

Cool!!!

Well that was obviously coming, eventually.

Absolutely nothing wrong with being shy and mysterious, just don't be so reserved and unenthusiastic to the point where you're bordering on boring or cold. There is nothing more frustrating or exhausting than having to do all the work carrying a conversation, arranging everything, etc. Men already have a lopsided amount of work to do in the attraction phase and do 95% of the approaching, don't make it that much harder than it already is or most men will see it's just not worth the effort and back off.

Looks fade. Personality and spirit grows and changes.

Maybe I should have been more careful with my words, I was exaggerating trying to get a point across. Of course you should harness your basic intuition and common sense. If you see clear red flags you should tread carefully and investigate them before offering too much or being too vulnerable. I should have said "offer your trust when you have no obvious reason not to".

Loneliness or "being alone" isn't a bad thing @Pilgrim. We're conditioned to believe and feel like it is though (for survival/egoic reasons). Embrace it and learn to be able to sit with that feeling, head on. Some of your most important insights and personal development will come from that loneliness. Most people fear being alone because it forces them to confront things and realities about themselves that can make them quite uncomfortable. Have the courage to tackle this. This doesn't mean go out of your way to feel loneliness. Still seek out friendships and relationships as much as you feel necessary, but when some loneliness DOES come your way don't try to squirm your way out of it or run from it.

It's counter-intuitive as hell @Heaven but you need to stop thinking and put ALL your eggs into the basket of complete blind trust. You'd think this is dangerous and makes you vulnerable, in a way yes it does. But being that utterly vulnerable actually communicates and shows tremendous strength. It shows you truly don't give a fuck (even if you rationally don't feel like it) and that you're solid as a god damn concrete pillar. She will see that and respect it, and will be much more likely to reciprocate. Relationships do not last without two way trust, but you gotta have the balls to give it first sometimes. If she does exploit it and cheats on you, or leaves you - Well what does that have anything to do with you? NOTHING! The event might feel shitty but realize it's 100% on her for doing whatever she does, she's gotta live with that, and she'll suffer with the karma of that behavior until she changes. In a way she's actually more a victim than you would be, ironically. If the topic comes up it will probably be a shit test. You just need to laugh all of it off, and be completely detached and cool as ice.

It's certainly tempting to want something you can't have, there is a thrill to the challenge of it, but you gotta know when to cut your losses and fold. It can backfire and make your output internally and externally negative. Think about how stupid this is, why would you want someone who doesn't want YOU? Why ice skate up hill? Wouldn't a relationship where both parties really want each other be MUCH better? The answer is a resounding YES!

It's interesting, survival might appear to be in the drivers seat. But there is a background hum to their existence that they are surviving to have as many chances as they can at the luxury of wonder, no matter how short it might be. Raw survival activities might dominate 98% of their energy and focus, but I imagine prehistoric and even recent humans are subconsciously doing it so they can look up at the stars and think to themselves, "what is going on and why am I here?".

Hah I bet, I guess I'm lucky because I just started using them again after 2 years and I'm getting 8's and 9's messaging me. This rarely happened before. Only been able to close dates with about 3 of them, I think most of the girls on there are just doing it to stroke their ego or out of boredom because despite my attempts most of the conservations don't go anywhere and I have to carry them.

Sexuality is mostly genetically inherent, you don't really get a choice about what "turns you on" so to say. The best thing is to find a healthy, authentic way to express it, and to accept what feels good. Not in the way of pleasure, but in deeper.

It's fine. Cults are warm and comfortable, like a heated blanket wrapped around your psyche.

It has to do with how many other guys you're competing with. On Tinder a decent looking girl might have anywhere between 25-100 guys messaging her within a month, that she will probably be exhausted looking through so she'll be very selective. While within that month maybe only 5-10 guys (not even), will approach her in real life with intent. So she can't be nearly as choosy. It all depends on what you want to invest in. Tinder and all that is cheap, convenient, and takes little energy because you're just doing it from your phone. That's the benefit of it, but it comes at the cost of dates being harder to secure.

You don't accept yourself, yourself. So you are looking and feel needy for a relationship, because you want them to provide that acceptance for you. However this is something you can have organically and internally, even if it doesn't feel like it now. One way you tackle this is when you have any those bad thoughts of "I'm not good enough. I hate myself. I don't have enough X. I'm not Y." Don't emotionally react to them. Simply notice them and watch them pass in you. Don't have thoughts about the thoughts, don't feel bad that they are there. Let them go through you and leave, because they are only temporary. They aren't what truly makes you feel good deep down.... so as you show your brain you don't really care about them (and aren't feeding them with reactions) they will start to show up less and become less impactful. You'll start to have a healthier shift. Really try this @SamC it will work for you! Also good news is you don't need to be perfect or have overflowing confidence to pursue someone! Take a second to realize they aren't perfect either. They are another person just like you so there is no reason to hold them to some divine standard where any possible judgment they make is righteous and true. That's what you're probably fearing. It's totally worth pursuing a relationship though, even if you're not exactly who you want to be. Chances are the relationship will end too, and that's ok because most do. You either stay together for life or you don't, there is no in-between. It's still very valuable though for all the good times to be had, and they will teach you a tremendous amount about yourself that you might not see on your own. You grow from it, which is all any of us do. Progress not perfection. Nobody is perfect for everyone, but everyone is perfect for someone.

lol not a conspiracy at all in the slightest. It's obvious knowledge that global mega-companies, especially oil companies, have a tremendous amount of sway of what goes on in the world, and influence much of international politics and geo-politics. Think East India Trading Company from a few hundred years ago, except now there are hundreds of those all fighting each other. $$$ is a hellofa drug.

You were honest and up front. Don't need to apologize to them or yourself about it, especially since they asked. They had their reaction, that's that. It's not on you friend. Find grounding in yourself even if you don't have the kinds of people around you that you want to talk to. You are punishing yourself because of the way the external world is (physically distant friends, Covid), does that seem fair to yourself? No! What you need to do is focus, contemplate, and meditate on the solitude. Sit with it and feel it, try to really understand why it's making you feel sad and uncomfortable. Question it, does it have to? Are you able to be happy on your own? You'll surprise yourself @Lyubov

I certainly agree, I don't deny any of it. I'll just add two things; - You have to admit peoples reaction to him is contributing to the problem as well way more than we're willing to admit, we can't just clap the dust off our hands and take no responsibility. The culture war was started before he took office and will remain after he loses this election. Cops were kneeling on the necks of minorities long before the age of Trumpism. - Every president or leader causes harm to one group of peoples or another. They can't please everyone, their agenda by definition will benefit one group at the expense of another, whether that expense is actual or just perceived. He is just especially egregious about it so he garners more attention. It's more stimulating to take about him than say the fact Obama was perceived as a "decent guy" by most people but a middle eastern country was bombed every 9 seconds under his presidency. Even more under Trump I'm guessing but once again, perception.

Well most of all just by being himself he has made most people lose their minds, to the point where sane regular people are at each others throats and don't even realize it. I don't know why people get so worked up about him particularly after this long, he's so predictably egotistical it's silly. This was obvious if you were at all familiar with him before he was president. Of course he's also tremendously unqualified to be in office, which has led to many problems. However it's not like being president is some dictatorship (though I'm sure he'd love that), they only have so much control. Things in America still happen according to the powers that be and those that steer the money cult that it is, regardless of Trumps sway. He has just kind of exacerbated things and drawn out the worst of the USA's wounds, that were there before him and will be after, it's not like he's the culprit. People want a break from this fiasco anyways, they want to go back to regular old corrupt lifetime corporate politician like Joe Biden.

lol. Never gonna happen. Women aren't socially conditioned nor encouraged to have the confidence for it, also it's never been "their job" in the mating game. They will (the majority) refuse to take on the responsibility. Why would they when there are line-ups of thirsty men for them to sit there and pick from? I mean I'm all for a culture shift in this regard, it's just highly unrealistic. Maybe things will start to change with MGTOW picking up steam, we'll see.

Ghosting is absolutely atrocious manners, but sadly it's been normalized by our eroding social culture via technology. Always muster the maturity to say something at the very least. The only time ghosting is ever acceptable is if the person said or did something terrible (racism, cheating, etc.). Also ghosting is acceptable if that person is stalking/threatening you, or approaching close to those things. Otherwise, yeah - Just be an adult and say "Thanks for everything, but I don't want to talk anymore because XYZ."

Crying is great, just make sure it's emotionally productive. I don't mean in a mechanical way, I just can't think of a better word. Let it come up authentically and surrender yourself to the process as it flows through you. Really "feel" it. Then let it go. If it keeps coming up over and over again, about the same subject or thing that is making you sad, then it's a sign you aren't truly letting it move through you. You're holding on and attached to some particular thought or feeling because you refuse to accept some truth for one reason or another, it's too painful. Crying is a way for your body, mind, and spirit to expel and heal. You can't be crying forever about the same thing, that means you aren't letting it do it's job. Also a tip for you that I find helpful for myself; Shortly after crying don't dwell on it and sit in the emotions too long, do something fun to cheer yourself up and look forward to! Think of the crying experience as water that passes through you and gets dirty from teaching you lessons and washing out the bad stuff at the same time, what's left over after the process is gross contaminated water, does it make sense to sit in that? No lol! Empty that bowl by doing something positive. If it comes up again that's ok, but you need to try and let it go and empty that bowl each time anyways. Not out of fear but out of acceptance.