Roy

Contemplate and appreciate this for a moment; 80 years ago our grandparents were forced to drop their entire lives to go overseas and fight in a war and probably die horrifically for people they've never met, and they barely complained. The government now is simply asking people to wear a cloth mask and to take a flu shot so millions don't needlessly die, yet people are whining grotesquely that they are being crushed under an authoritarian boot. Think about the absurdity of the selfishness going on here. We truly are some spoiled brat generations.

It is harmful if you do it in a harmful unconscious way. So > You need to understand exactly why you're having sex. Emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. You need to know how to have safe sex. Get tested, learn how to scope out people that won't lie or abuse you, always use contraception's. You need to be doing it for genuine enjoyment and pleasure, not to escape loneliness or to cope with trauma.

The first thing is you can't be thinking the thought, "I'm a creep, this will be weird." If that is in your mind you are already fucked. Breathe and train yourself so you have control over what thoughts come into your mind.

Men and women can only be friends if the pressures in the social circumstances they're in dictates that they cannot or should not be in any kind kind of intimate relationship, hell even that sometimes doesn't stop people! Otherwise, no men and women cannot be platonic friends. In my personal life and experiences I've seen a near 90% failure rate in that if men and women are "just friends" long enough, eventually one of them caves and starts to get feelings for the other, whether reciprocated or not doesn't matter. It just takes one person to have those feelings to corrupt the integrity of the label we are using here. There are probably even more men/women friendships that look platonic on the outside but in the minds of one or the other sexes are some sort of desire or plan for future intimate possibilities. You have to keep in mind here that it's literally a fight against the very powerful force of our biology. Most people can't win that fight reliably enough which is understandable. I don't want to get anyone triggered here. I'm not saying it's impossible for men and women to be friends. I just think it's a lot rarer than we realize. Hell, I've had great girl friends before. But it might have been the social group we were in that made the potential of getting together unthinkable, or maybe they had feelings that they never expressed and I just didn't consider it because I wasn't into them. Hard to know. I'll just say generally no they can't, but there can be exceptions.

Don't let Leo fill your head with fantastical pre-requisites for dating dude. You don't need to live in a busting metropolis burning $2800 a month on rent just to be able meet women, that's fucking absurd LOL. You want to be moving somewhere you'd enjoy working and living first and foremost, it's of central importance actually. Moving somewhere just because of the dating/pick-up game is just pure stupidity, unless it's your literal job to be a dating/relationship coach. Any city with 75K-ish+ people will do. That's potentially thousands/tens of thousands of women to meet. There are women all over man. It's half our damn species. If you really want them they aren't hard to find no matter where you are and what your situation is.

Wow what a tremendous distraction that was! Excuse me while I go back to sitting in a dark room for 4 hours.

Because the idea of it offers something exciting in a modern life where we are relatively extremely safe.

Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes. Yea man, if she's still doing something like that at 28 this is not something that's going to be good long term. Judging from all the posts I've read from you, you can definitely do better than her mate. Don't let yourself sink on the crazy ship, jump off.

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It's a physical response yes, but not physical attraction. She isn't attracted to him (his body), she attracted to his social status.

Now you're getting it! She likes the idea of getting fucked by someone famous, the body is still ugly but she will overlook that.

Being hilarious and cheerful doesn't give you a 6 pack or sculpted chest. Having prestige because you're a skilled dentist isn't going to change you being born with a chiseled jaw or great hairline, or not. So no, they have absolutely nothing to do with physicality. You're confusing social attraction and physical attraction, they interact with each other in ways, but they are not exclusively the same thing. A woman might change her mind from not wanting to fuck an ugly looking guy, to wanting to be with him after learning he's a great match for her personality wise and intimately yes, but that's because she's attracted to something abstract. Not the actual physical body. The core of what makes a man physically attractive, is his literal body. Otherwise the word "physical" doesn't mean anything, at all. If words don't mean anything we might as well be talking gibberish.

What are you talking about LOL? Have you ever been outside walking around the street before? (jk btw) There are plenty of grotesque looking men with balloon size beer guts walking around with jaw dropping women all the time. Want to know why? > Prestige, success, wealth, charisma, personality. These have mostly nothing to do with physical attraction. You can be a cave troll and with the right social skills be able to get great looking women.

Because of the sex marketplace. Relationships have a lot of factors but the main base reason we get into relationships is because you want a steady supply of sex/ability to produce children. Women are the gatekeeps because they are only willing to give so much, while men are ravenous with how much they want. This creates a leverage of power for women because men are willing to lower their standards to get what they want more than women are. In other words, women are smarter and respect themselves more on average lmao, so men are literally shooting themselves in the foot and sabotaging their own position by being so horny. That only explains one part of it though. Another huge part of the value imbalance is everyone is selfish and always wants a partner who is better than them. Unless you're a narcissist I guess.

The reason I am being blunt here is because there is clearly hesitation in his OP. That is addressed by simple, direct answers. Not an essay of endless information that will confuse him even further. I'm not a PUA and this isn't PUA advice. I've never needed to nor practiced any of that material in my life. In fact what might surprised you is irl I'm probably more gentle and give off the image of a quintessential "nice guy" more than any guy on this forum; The only difference is I know how to avoid the traps of get walked over, taken advantage of, or sacrificing/SIMPing myself over a woman and I can do it all without becoming a quasi-sexist PUA douche. It depends on the inflection and content of their conversations and relationship, but yes telling her that he is waiting for her could be a bad idea. That was the issue I was warning. The problem here is you are simply misinterpreting. He can communicate what I've said without being rude. It should be so obvious this is the case that it would be insulting if I had to even summon that caveat, considering the fact he explicitly stated he's, "got better with his social skills". @Preety_India You frequently diverge and derail threads by getting invested too much in what others are saying on this forum. Let's do our part to give the best experience to @The Don by focusing on him and what he needs. I'll give my advice to him, you give your advice to him, and he can choose to respond and learn from each or either if he wishes.

Your answer was fine but the only problem was the "and anyways, the offer remains available". That communicates a mild degree of weakness and availability. If she changes her mind again and possibly asks you out? Tell her "no sorry, the offer isn't there anymore, that time has passed". It's one thing if she's confused, but if she's maybe playing any games there needs to be consequences. If either is the case you probably don't want her as a partner anyways. It may go against your intuition and wants but hey, this is the larger mating game that is going on, and it's important you do the best you can and not settle or let yourself be taken advantage of. You should be looking for women who are more stable and sure of themselves.

Perhaps, but you're still thinking about it > which means you care too much > which is precisely what repels them. As for @The Don. You getting to know each other better was probably the insight she was looking for that would have also happened on a date if you asked her out sooner. She probably intuited you weren't a good match or what she was looking for, which is why she changed her mind. The process was different but the result was probably inevitable. It is what it is, whatever. There are 4 billion other women to pick from. It's good you never asked why she rejected you, because it would have made you look weak and needy and she also probably wouldn't have given you a straight answer like I just did here. Never listen to what a women says they want. Watch and observe their actions instead. Women don't truly know what they want, at least not in an immediate logical way they can explain. They learn through trial and error which takes experience and action. You need to find the answers on your own as well. So don't ask her no matter how desperate your curiosity is.

People change their minds. Get over it and move onto the next one.

I'll pick a vaccine where scientists and medical professionals have massive incentive and pressure to do a good job, over getting bat flu which can do serious damage to your cardiovascular system, thanks very much. This should be obvious. Since it's so damn contagious we pretty much have to pick between one or the other. In fact it would be irresponsible NOT to get the vaccine as you're basically acting as a willing vector for the disease to spread. You could have no idea if you have it either, which is the problem. You know what, I'm not going to tip toe and I'll be even more blunt here. Be a fucking adult! Get the vaccine when available, and keep wearing a mask and social distancing until this thing is over. I'm sure I'm not the only one sick of human stupidity endangering others. In fact I'll go one step further and add that anyone who contests otherwise reveals themselves to be ignorant to the comparison of Trumpism.

@Leo Gura I know you were probably in another place in your life when you did this, but don't you kind of regret this? Is bringing up mild cheating as sort of a brag the kind of behavior you want to advertise here? C'mon mate you have more tact than this. As for the OP @Javfly33. When things do get better and it is safe to approach in public again, remember and contemplate this; when you see a hot girl and want to approach and feel that fear > Think to yourself, does it really make sense for you as a man to be more scared of the women than she is of you? There are many more rational fears in life, like being homeless if you lose your job, or losing family members, or getting in a car accident. But as a man does it make any sense to be scared of a woman? No, absolutely not. What's the worst she can do to you? Humiliate you? So what, if you learn to stop giving a fuck what they say, then what can she do? Nothing at all. It makes 0 logical sense to be scared of women. What you should be scared of is a fucking hungry bear on a hiking trail lol. That is logical fear, not some pretty girl who was lucky to be born pretty.

You know I'm not serious, right?

Women are like cars, a new one comes around the corner every 10 minutes. There are literally millions of women out there for you dude. Don't get so hung up on one. You think that one was so special but it's not true, it's just a big thought story you've told yourself.

What the fuck does this even mean lmao?

If you don't have company; friends or lovers, who you're able to share vulnerable things with and get support from you need to do some social circle upgrading lol.

You have created a huge thought story based off of an experience, or multiple experiences. However like the word says, they are just "stories". Literally fabrications in your mind. They do not dictate current reality or potential future realities. Easier said than done, but you need to ditch those thoughts in your head and start imagining a you and a reality where women do love you back. It could easily be real. There is no reason that it can't, unless you continue to let those thought stories run rampant.