Roy

You know what's more powerful and impactful than any shaming or immature laughter they could throw at you? Displaying so much confidence and acceptance of yourself that you don't give a fuck about it. That it's "whatever" and unimportant to you. Showing to them you're completely comfortable with yourself (even if faked for now) is the mechanism that will make them comfortable too. It's actually your mental frame of fear and pity of yourself that is more likely to make them uncomfortable and cause them to react that way, more than having a small penis. Because it sub-communicates and puts the burden on them to react, and it will take less emotional responsibility for them to point and laugh and avoid the situation in an immature way, than taking on the burden of comforting or giving you confidence. And if you put yourself out there and they reject you anyways like that? Well that just makes them an asshole, and has nothing to do with you. Even just sharing a thread like this means you are making huge strides and addressing your insecurities. So you're on an excellent track!

It's good that you posted this. It probably feels good too now that it's not just in your mind, doesn't it ? To be honest you seem already quite aware of yourself, and I think you know what you have to do generally speaking. The problem I see here is on top of the normal anxiety and stress that thinking about big life changes brings, you are adding another layer of anxiety, and stress upon yourself because all the potential improvements you've learned about seem like a mountain that you've now gotta climb. Am I right about that? You're letting it pressure you when you don't have to. You're young (27), have a solid job, and are financially secure, so you have breathing room right? You are in a great position, a position to be strategic in fact. A luxury a lot of people don't have. So pat yourself on the back for where you are, and take a deep breathe mate! You've got a long time to figure out what you want to do, so don't feel shame to take it day by day. Chip away little by little working on those bad habits that you notice are getting in the way. Cut back your video game time/entertainment time as much as you feel you need to. Spend a tiny bit more time researching your future and exploring possibilities, look for things that excite you but don't overwhelm yourself that you have to do them. Simply entertain ideas like trying on clothes. “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” - Lao Tzu That feeling of being "lost" and the anxiety you feel about the future will evaporate as you ground yourself in the now. There is only ever the present moment. The weight of your entire future on your shoulders that you are feeling is a false one that you don't have to bear @Jimmy123. If you notice yourself overthinking and feeling that immense weight, simply close your eyes and breathe deeply a few times. Make this a habit please. It's so simple but so effective. Trust in the process that your vision of what large things you need to do will become clear as you do small things every day.

I think I just glanced by something, you live in Mauritius? What's it like living on a tropical island like that I'm super interested. Is it super busy with tourists and boats all the time? Do you know everybody being on island? Do you feel bored or trapped being in a small place?

Anything that makes claims about reality automatically subjugates itself to scientific scrutiny, that's the aim of science to figure out reality (in it's way). While spirituality is ridiculously broad and decentralized there are definitely a lot of crazy claims from people within it practicing their own versions. Astral projection, superhuman abilities, rocks being able to breathe lmao

Great post @Rilles! Understanding systems is a great skill to have. It brings conversation and solutions to the next level without getting lost in semantic details. Ignore preety she's being a little odd. No, people manipulate other people by using pseudoscience, not the other way around. The pseudoscience isn't sitting there like a malicious entity. It depends how it's interpreted and used. Plenty of pseudoscience is very useful (a lot of it can be garbage too of course). It's only "pseudoscience" up until the time the cultural zeitgeist of science considers it tolerable, and begins exploring and developing it until the point it becomes considered "real" science. If it's truly bogus it gets discarded. Much of personal development, spirituality techniques, psychology, and psychedelics are considered pseudoscience right now. However we're starting to see a shift in our modern culture where you're no longer consider a wacko for practicing or advertising it. Galileo was killed by the church for brining up the possibility that the Earth wasn't the center of the universe but in fact revolved around the Sun like other planets. What he was saying was considered "pseudoscience" and he died for it. Eventually it turned out he was right.

That's an interesting question! Yea I imagine it would come about when basic commodities become so high performance, abundant, and ridiculously easy and cheap to produce that nobody has any real incentive to earn money to pay for those things anymore. People would be satisfied and comfortable enough with their living situation they'd rather spend the majority of their time on hobbies or passions or family, than spending that precious time working. Of course I think for this to be possible a parallel cultural shift would have to happen along side it. People would have to kind of collectively agree to be content with a certain amount of square footage or standardized living space. As it would be obvious the planet can't sustain everyone having their own castle and huge property in nature. Of course there will always be "greedy" people in comparison to the new culture, and outliers. I imagine they would live in sort of a "separate" society outside of these moneyless metropolis' where they still traded and offered services to get that excess wealth. I imagine most people would still opt for the moneyless society as they wouldn't have to work at all. I think as automation and AI starts to ramp up a lot of it's utility will go towards making the economy more exponentially efficient. We could actually start seeing proto-moneyless pockets of society in our lifetime, where UBI starts offering enough satisfactory standards of living the people simply stop caring about money. Why would we keep doing menial labor jobs that we could make robots do?

That would be effective. Maybe I just think too logically but I never understood the point of someone getting worked up and fighting over male/female stuff. First of all we need each other to survive. Second of all people got to stop taking themselves and their "team" so seriously. It's completely arbitrary that anyone is the sex they are. It's literally a 50/50 coinflip that you were born what you are.

Thought I'd share this for anyone here who is a history junkie like me. Stumbled across a high quality doc on the Mediterranean theatre of World War 2. Enjoy!

There are hundreds of millions of the worlds major religions claiming extraordinary things and experiences about God, yet are questioned deeply and usually dismissed by you and the content of your work, as well as many others. What specifically makes you less enthusiastic about questioning UFO sighting accounts and more sympathetic to their experiences as opposed to similar phenomena? You and I both know that people can see what they want to see and can fall into confirmation bias because of the warm feeling of groupthink. These kinds of things build movements of people looking to be validated which hinders their ability to question their experiences. Of course I'm not saying we should completely and coldly dismiss people strictly because they can't prove it directly themselves, I don't doubt that people have profound vivid experiences that they feel are 100% true, and probably ARE in some cases. I have had some as well and they are things I'll probably never share out of embarrassment. You are right we should look where the smoke is and investigate, but you also will admit that smoke alone is not sufficient enough when talking about something of this magnitude. Smoke and vague inconclusive tidbits are merely interesting. If it's more than what it is, why has it been decade after decade after decade after decade of things always fizzling out and nothing significant? Do you actually want to talk about that point, do you think aliens are building up to something, are they taking samples of our plants and animals, are they waiting for us to do something? It could totally be absolutely true they are buzzing around out there right now I'm completely open-minded to it, but I'm not going to be arrogant about it if nothing has happened YET. Nobody knows what is going on. Except the camera on my phone isn't meant for highly quality pictures at the very specific and inconvenient time of night that you are suggesting. Meanwhile the US military has access to the worlds best imaging and radar technology and can film everywhere they have access to 24/7 . Nice try. Way to place me in such a totally fair hypothetical, really good faith you're demonstrating here mate. The potential for conversation of one of the most fascinating topics out there is here, but you wouldn't even let it start, even after I gave you the chance when most people wouldn't even get past your childish characterization about me in the start. I was the only person in the thread who even posted a lengthy comment with some hipfire points hoping to get some discussion going. Even after I made my open-mindedness about the general topic clear by stating that aliens literally exist, you still felt compelled in your conclusion that I'm "narrow minded". You see it's YOUR mind about the topic is actually already made up, you aren't actually interested in discussing it. You saw something posted that didn't completely align with what you already believe and got emotionally triggered and resorted to arrogant assumptions how I feel as (as if you know). If you were actually interested in discussion in a thread that YOU made, it would have been so easy to simply address any of the open ended points I brought up, like why would aliens be here with when they could observe from safety? The worst part is you don't even see that YOU are the narrow minded one here. To be so lazy to just hand wave fair points, and then post smart ass remarks like what I quoted above this. So disappointing man. I expect someone of your caliber that I look up to at least try to interact with good faith. Guess I should realize I'm on the internet though Cheers, I'm bowing out.

Well you see I genuinely want to discuss the topic, so enlighten me and let's not throw labels like narrow minded. I am willing to stake my life aliens exist, but I am skeptical we have ones close enough with the technology to travel faster than light buzzing around our stratosphere in plain sight. Pixelated clips where we nor the military has a clear answer or physical pieces of craft is not conclusive enough. Give me your case I want my skepticism shattered. And please don't dodge and distract from the discussion by bringing up meta-dynamics about the discussion. Let's actually talk about this.

This is the part of my post you respond to lol?

All these fuzzy ass videos mean nothing to me. I'm so sick of these cock teases. Give me some blatant high quality conclusive evidence. Notice how everything is always obfuscated and has NEVER been ground breaking enough that it becomes massive world news. Life, including advanced alien life certainly exists outside of Earth in this ludicrous infinite sized universe we live in. However just because it exists it doesn't guarantee a civilization has crossed the thresholds that hold them back like annihilating themselves or having the luck of the draw amount of resources to develop interstellar travel. I highly doubt knowing what we know about physics that there are aliens close in our galaxy that have FTL travel AND came here to fly and dick around in our atmosphere when such a suggestion means they have the technology to easily observe everything they need to from a distance. I just don't see the logic in them risking their discovery or accidently making contact and giving us a chance to reverse engineer technology and accelerate our evolution to be a competitor. I'm sure in the next few decades we will get 100% confirmation of another civilization when we have scanned enough planets and solar systems and literally see them, but I doubt they are abundant and advanced enough to be recklessly flying drones around our planet. The distances between stars and objects in the universe are simply too vast.

Sometimes you will be right, and a position or experience CAN be justified or true. But it's only a partial truth. And if focusing on it only gets you undesirable results or brings up negative emotions, what use is it to keep focusing on it? You say it yourself; Yes. To let go is to no longer focus on it. Something is part of your experience, to let go is to stop grasping (focusing) and let it pass. So the work to be done is to deeply question your beliefs, thoughts, ideas, and experience. Keep poking holes in them and looking for the ways they are flawed and not serving you. Watch your mind like a hawk, watch how it resists the questioning and comes up with explanations and stories about why you shouldn't change and why everything you already think is "true". Your mind is committed to maintaining the survival of your current list of beliefs, thoughts, ideas, and experiences that make up "you". It doesn't like when you question or change things when you try to "upgrade", so to say.

Yes they are fundamentally flawed, otherwise you wouldn't be "failing miserably" (your words) at getting results if you "understood women and deep psychology" (your words). All those thought patterns, beliefs, and strategies you have been using up until now, you need to drop. Not only are they not getting results in this particular area, but I guarantee they might be affecting other parts of your life too. Of course this is easier said than done, and extremely painful as all of those things are part of an identity you've built up about yourself over years and years. But you need to get rid of them first before you start building up again. Otherwise anything new you learn will end up being corrupted and tainted by all the old bullshit that's been holding you back. It's like trying to build a house an a rotten crumbling foundation. It may look pretty for a while but you're gonna start running into problems down the road. The VERY first thing I recommend is understanding and letting go of the resentment you have built up. Towards those women that "misunderstand themselves" and those "manipulative" men that end up getting better results than you do. Not only is that labelling not true, it's toxic, and makes you bitter in ways you don't even know. Is a bitter know it all attractive? No. You need to learn to stop taking the way those people act and the experiences you have so personally, because all that does is serve to distract you and behave in ways that aren't desirable or productive. Cleanse yourself of the hate and resentment. Look at it for what it is without all the bullshit narratives and ideas you have about it, and let it go.

You see from the perspective I'm offering I'm not telling anyone what they should or shouldn't do, but from the message of organized religion and the similar objective morality perspective that you have in your mind right now you ARE telling people what they should or shouldn't do by the very idea of a "green" signal. That green = "should", "OK", and "Good". It's by the very mechanism of having an ought that actually justifies all the "evil" acts that people do because they are operating from a place of ignorance and righteousness. Ignorance from truly seeing things from others perspective and ignorance of what life could be. Exactly it could, you are right. But the people who kill millions of people like Hitler aren't aware of that. They think they need to do what they do because they are ignorant of how to survive in a better way, not because they are "evil". You create the label of evil because it goes against your interests. If it was in your interests it would be good. There is no objective good or evil written anywhere for us to discover, we make it up. The universe doesn't give a fuck because it makes no difference to the universe if all the Nazis die or if all the Jews die on this planet. The world will keep spinning.

No it wasn't. Not from his point of view. In fact he thought what was was doing was great and perfectly good. Evil doesn't really exist. All it is is an illusion of a simple majority social consensus. Let's say history played out different where the majority of the world actually sided with the Axis and their worldview and they won WW2. What you would live in is a world where people like you and me would be Nazis too and think we were perfectly good, and if you thought you'd think like you do now in this hypothetical, you'd be lying to yourself because it would mean you would have to sacrifice your survival and die being a conscious objector. 99% of people cannot admit how quickly they'd abandon their principles once their skin is in the game. In other words, Evil is precisely what we call things that are inconvenient to our survival. Where whatever is convenient to our survival we call good. The intuitive distinction we make that actually draws us to a higher "goodness" is operating in the background of the traditional conversation of moralism, and it's that we recognize any strategy for survival that is too blatantly limited, not expansive, and causes excess suffering (like Nazism) can't be a good strategy for a constantly evolving species. I guess you could call this intuition a "spiritual" morality and it takes the brutal relativity of reality into account. Though this intuition is more like an overarching guiding force and most people are completely unconscious of it. This is what people are really talking about when they bring up the "Moral Arc of the Universe".

I don't really have a dog in this fight as I outgrew all his content years and years ago, but I have to say it................ The amount of Jordan Peterson hate I see on here is ridiculous. He is a great speaker and teach er, and has helped tens of millions of people with his work. He's making more of an impact than most public figures and "intellectuals" these days. Yes he's got flaws in his epistemology and rails on progressives way more than he should but cut the man some slack. Take the good and leave the rest.

Any substance use will fundamentally cloud your mind, your ability to think, and your consciousness. It's best if any alcohol or substance use is relegated to only very rare occasions like Christmas parties or birthdays. Prepare yourself mentally because you WILL be judged for living a cleaner lifestyle, but how you feel will be worth far more than any razzing you get.

Yea YouTube can be crazy addicting but also crazy beneficial if you are mindful of what content you watch I'm extremely selective with my subscriptions. I've actually only been subbed to the same 7-10 channels for like 10 years.

OP didn't say it was for spiritual enlightenment, just regular personal development and relationships. They overlap but certainly not here.

Everything has it's place, up until the point it doesn't. Perhaps one day we will reach a point where there is next to no killing animals for food, but until that day, this is what is. Of course someone will interpret this as being dangerously passive and as a way to dismiss the problem, "Oh so we shouldn't strive to improve anything at all then?" But that's not what I'm saying, and is just a bad faith interpretation driven by emotion. I'm simply pointing out reality that it exists. Not moralizing or making a judgement call about it. If you accept reality as it is and for what it is, you can see it more clearly and therefore act from a better place. Notice how by moralizing and being upset about something you are actually perpetuating even MORE suffering than otherwise would be the case. This doesn't mean being upset is "bad", any experience is a valid one. Just consider - If you want to improve the situation by reducing suffering and increasing consciousness, would it not be wise to start with yourself first and foremost? Do you think people who want to help animals and change societies habits would be more effective from a place of peace and acceptance, or anger and unacceptance? This post isn't directed specifically at you @Lyubov but anyone reading.

What I just mentioned is the method basically. Your emotions are a good indicator if something is toxic for you, because you will literally feel it.

It's not a science. But the method you should be using is always be cross referencing how you feel internally and observing your own results, vs what proper authorities in society/culture/science might be telling you and looking at results where it HAS worked. Of course only YOU can truly know internally what works for you and what doesn't, but you need to develop radical honesty and increase your consciousness so your ego doesn't delude you back into inaction. Reflect on anything in your personal life that you're trying to work on or improve, is it not obvious most times if something is working or not, when you really sit down and look at it?

Anything can be used as a personal development tool really, as long as you're being conscious about it's use and not letting it become toxic for you. See although it can easily be perceived as a trolling post, there is actually something of value here. @Fandango seems to be already content enough about his dating skills that he can put it on the backburner for a while, but also knows he still has to fulfill his need for sex and pleasure. So instead of giving into his ego and using his ability with women to get that sex in a bad way he's found a healthier way to go about things until he has worked out enough things in himself that he can eventually go back to dating a healthier way.

Ray Comfort has infiltrated Actualized.Org forums lmao.