Roy

Make sure you eat until you are full/satisfied when you're having your healthy regular meals. Food like that won't be remotely as appetizing if you're not hungry. It's so easy to indulge on sweets and garbage food on an empty stomach.

This isn't what you want to hear but I think it would be wise to bite the bullet and try really hard to get a software job. You've already invested all that time and money into getting that degree. You might as well use it to accumulate the resources not just to pay off your debt, but ALSO save money to invest in your passions and hobbies like better music equipment and an online business. It might not be as bad as you think, because it's a computer job you likely will get to work from home. You'll feel safer and more comfortable, and you won't have to deal with as much stress as being out in an office. It's not like it's going to suck any more than working a minimum job (which will put you at more COVID risk right now), so if you're going to be putting in 40 hours a week anyways you might as well get payed more, right? As crucial as it is to follow your passion, it's equally as crucial to be strategic about things. I would suck it up and find the software job. Even if you don't like it, just put in the amount of energy and work that you need to keep your job and get paid, and don't break your back over it. Also carefully craft up a payment plan and management of your finances so that your debt isn't impacting your mind in a negative way. Keep your music passion as a hobby so you actually enjoy it, and don't ruin it with the pressure of having to monetize it. These are just my thoughts based on the information you gave me. You will ultimately decide what to do, just consider what I said. Good luck @Armando Gutierrez!

I believe when people break up they should NEVER get back together. The ONLY scenario where I think it should happen is when there is a child that must be raised. Then it's in the best interests of everyone and primarily the kid to have stable parenting and resources for a heathy life. People who are raised by single parents and step parents usually end up messed up sadly. When people break up it's usually for a reason, and a good one at that. Think about it, if it was meant to work and you were supposed to be together, then it would have worked and any issues that have come up wouldn't be ones that destroy the connection. ALL couples go through rough patches and bad events, but the successful couples work through it. If it's broken up that means it simply wasn't meant to be, and that must be accepted. People don't move on or learn anything if they keep thinking backwards. Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20. Chances are if you got back together the same thing would have happened again. There would be the high of making it work for a while, and then old habits and issues would creep in again and spoil things. You develop as a person by absorbing failure and moving onto the next thing. Dwelling and "what if?"s holds you back. Can I challenge you on that? Why can't you be the right man, for yourself? I know it sucks, but take your time. There is no rush to get into another relationship. Take a few weeks or couple months to process things. It took me a few months and moving across the country to get over my ex ending things after we lived together. Remember love and attachment blinds you to the realities of the relationship. Once you have time and distance from it you can look at things objectively and realize......... Hey, yeah it wasn't meant to be. But I'm actually better off now, and a stronger person! Eventually you will actually be HAPPY she dumped you. You just can't see that now because of the pain.

What you want to do is take time alone to really think about this, and focus on it. Go for a walk for an hour, not to any destination, just start walking, and don't bring your phone with you it's a distraction. Think about your relationship and where you went wrong, and her breaking up with you. The way out of hell is THROUGH. Confront and move through all the emotions that come up. Cry like a baby. there is nothing wrong with crying at all. Even if you are a man! The sooner you feel and accept the present emotions the sooner and healthier you can move on. It sounds like you actually already know what you're capable of with getting another girl, and taking care of yourself in general. So do that. Take care of yourself. Treat yourself, go buy yourself some ice cream! Does another person not wanting to be with you anymore affect any of your value? No absolutely not. You want to accept and move through whatever comes up, and talk yourself through it so you get some closure. If you run away from those feelings or distract yourself they will just come up again, especially at inconvenient times like work. Move forward, one steady step at a time. DO NOT seriously consider trying to get her back, destroy that possibility in your mind. The feelings and thoughts of wanting her back are your ego mind trying to seek comfort and avoid pain. You cannot grow and move on without pain. Hope this helps @Seven7. You are worthy

Here is all you need to know and focus on to get over this mentality; They will never be perfect either

If you REALLY need to get rid of that 5 years of pent up frustration, a sex worker is a grerat idea like @ivankiss said. It's only $250-ish and there are plenty of good looking women doing it that you can contact online through different web pages. Just be careful with your language. They will know what you're after, just don't explicitly text them you want sex. Just to meet as friends. It will blow off steam and give you that release you need to calm down about it. Otherwise you need to start dating again if you want to have sex. You can bypass all the stressful approaching and pick-up stuff by just doing online dating, it's safer anyways right now with Covid. You've already had relationships before, so it's not like you can't easily do it again. So make a good tinder profile, work at getting dates every day and I guarantee you will have your dick wet by the end of the month. As in start doing it right now after you read this comment. You'll feel a lot better taking action towards it than stewing in your negative thoughts about it.

Likewise I don't think I would have healed it unless I did a bunch of other work first. In fact I never really recalled anything until a few years ago, guess it was a signal I was ready to finally move past it. Yo you ever get my PM a while ago?

That's because Centrists are lazy scum that don't stand for anything but sitting down.

I don't know anything about you or your experiences so I don't want to make any assumptions, but I'm willing to guess your #1 problem and something you just admitted to is simply not socializing enough or physically putting yourself in positions where you can have sex or get a girlfriend. For example when Covid is over go attend some parties. Multiple people have sex every time at just about every party that has ever happened in human history. I guarantee after attending at least 10 parties with intent (but also detached from outcome) you will get laid minimum at least once, and perhaps have a relationship/girlfriend spawning from that encounter. I never said anything about those dynamics. They exist in varying degree. My point is the falsity of people believing sex is some sort of magical act, and then shaming those who haven't or choose not to have it as "less than". Sex doesn't mean anything, unless you choose to believe it does.

Yea well, Leo is wrong.

Exactly. The idea that someone isn't a healthy or "complete" person if they haven't had sex yet is a total fabrication and a reflection of a neurotic culture that is trying to gatekeep an imaginary rite of passage using the tool of shame. It makes no difference if someone has had sex or not, or if they drink black coffee or regular coffee. The people that are caught up in the cultural conditioning will have this insistent feeling that sex is somehow this special thing that only certain people can get. This is a delusion. Sex is completely unremarkable and quite easy to get, you just have to want it a little bit. Human beings are like any other living thing and have a natural force pushing them towards it. We need to de-mystify sex if we want to create a healthier more conscious society. Sex is about natural and insignificant and as breathing, or waking up in the morning to take a shit. We have an INCREDIBLY sick and unforgiving culture that causes symptoms of young men like Elliot Rodger going on a murder rampage and killing 7 people because of the great crime of not getting laid by his early 20's.

I think it's actually the toxic cultural pressure and ego games people play on each other that is the source of all the "problems" and "disfunction" a person might have. There is nothing inherently wrong with a virgin that causes them to be a virgin. In an ideal society it wouldn't matter at all if someone has had sex or not or the arbitrary age they chose to do it at. It's like worrying about if a person likes to eat cheese or not. Or if they didn't drink their first beer until they 45.

I think someone already made this thread you might want to move your discussion there.

It's not gaslighting. You actually just have a warped and flawed perspective on how to understand the other sex. If you want to learn anything and develop you need to completely drop this score-keeping bullshit paradigm.

The absolute biggest indicator is looking at what values you have integrated HEATHILY into your life. You can hold, argue, and pay lip service to all these grand values of a stage all you want. But unless you've made the "rubber hit the road" so to speak it essentially means nothing. For example if you rant on about environmentalism and demonize those for their actions or not taking it seriously, and then haven't taken any concrete steps yourself to respect the environment or lead by example. Then you are probably a stage lower than you think you are in THAT particular aspect. Spiral Dynamics only becomes useful as a model for personal development if you're brutally honest and observe yourself intently.

Best music video I've seen in many years.

Yea I sent you some in a PM !

It's exactly the answer. - People hop along and subscribe for a certain type of content, but then the content changes so they stop watching. Leo's content from start to finish couldn't be more radical lol. - The videos have gotten ridiculously long compared to what they were years ago. Naturally filtering out a ton of people. - It's a self-help channel. People subscribe after watching some videos for a particular issue that they need help with. After they get what they need they leave and stop watching. Try convincing most people to watch a 4 hour video on the metaphysics of reality in "Sameness vs Difference" vs 15 minutes of "How to make a girl fall in love with you".

It's good you want to drop all your fake turquoise ideas about enlightenment, but be careful to not just replace them with "yellow views and ideas". You want to entertain and learn about all the different perspectives on enlightenment to give you a good road map so you aren't wasting a lot of time, but all of that stuff won't actually equal the thing itself. The map is not the territory. As you start doing work towards it and build your own direct and personal experience you'll have the best "idea" about it you can, but you'll have to shed that too as you go deeper. Careful not to rush through Stages or fool yourself into thinking you are higher than you are and thereby skipping important things to integrate. Developing takes a lifetime and it's important to be humble. Follow your authentic journey day by day and really savor your path, all the gritty minute stuff too. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day

I definitely think so, though intuitively I feel it's on a different wavelength or "mode" of consciousness that is foreign to our traditional understanding.

This stems directly from a place of neediness and lack of self acceptance. You need to steel yourself with the mentality (and the truth) that you are actually complete exactly as you are and don't need anyone or anything. Affirmation practices are an effective answer for this. Set the intention of what I mentioned above and repeat it to yourself out loud everyday. Actually try this and ignore/push past any resistances you feel about it being lame or stupid. This rewires your subconscious mind and overtime will leak over into your conscious mind. There will come a point when you notice those jealous thoughts and feelings start to become less frequent, then eventually fade away completely. Good luck

Speak for yourself mate

There are fundamentally 3 kinds of people in the world - Dogs, Wolves, and Sheep. The sheep are the helpless and the weak, innocent with good nature, but unfortunately cannot defend themselves. Wolves are those who exploit and prey on the sheep. Some of them were once dogs, or they were too scared to rise to their higher nature of becoming dogs. Dogs are those who can lead and inspire other dogs and sheep, and those who protect sheep from wolves. A high quality man is a good dog. They lead, inspire, and put their skin on the line protecting sheep from wolves.

General rule; if you aren't absolutely sure what you want to invest or spend it on, don't touch it. Just because it's sitting there doesn't mean you have to use it. A lot of young people (you look very young from your pic) make the mistake of impulsively buying stuff like iPhones and clothes etc. and rationalize it because they just "have" the money. Of course enjoy yourself here and there, but don't be stupid, stupid Simple ideas are using it for basic practical stuff that helps you get ahead. For example getting a used car; once you have a vehicle to move yourself around that opens up a ton of independence and the amount of potential jobs you can reach without relying on others, walking/biking (time consuming), or spotty public transit. Before you do anything else though the most important thing is having an emergency fund. MINIMUM 2 months of living costs (housing/food) so if anything unforeseen and terrible happens, you are prepared. Literally put this money somewhere and pretend it doesn't exist. People have different emergency funds based on what they need. Personally I have 2K cash in a safe that hasn't been touched since I put it away 4 years ago. I probably never will touch it but it's good to know I always have that security. You don't ever want to be in a position where you have nothing at all when shit hits the fan, that's the point of an emergency fund.

Start studying and learning to appreciate systems, practicing radical acceptance, and mindfully shedding judgement and demonization.