Roy

Free will doesn't exist, very easy to demonstrate it to people as well; Get a piece of paper and pen, and write down the first movie that comes to mind, no deliberation. Notice how the content of whatever movie it was, was completely unanticipated and random? It just happened, perhaps it was related to a recent memory, or experience you had today. Notice how that was also out of control. Now extend the realization of this experience of happening, of thinking of a movie, to your entire existence. Free will ain't there. It's all just pure happening.

I drove across Canada in September of last year from Ontario to where I now live, Vancouver Island. I don't want to spam your thread, so I'll just pick out the most notable photos from the trip and name their locations enjoy! The countless polished rocks of Pebble Beach in Marathon, Ontario The endless windswept hills and fields in Grasslands National Park, Saskatchewan The contrast of elements and terrain in Rockgarden Trailhead, British Columbia Mt Rundle displaying it's grand jaggedness in the sun, visible from my kayak on the waters of Two Jack Lake in Banff, Alberta 75ft+ tall abandoned and overgrown stone columns from a settler age mining operation near Mt Revelstoke, British Columbia

I view it this way; if you want to be a "balanced" person then perhaps it can be great thing to do. But it isn't completely necessary in the sense if you want to live an intensely unique life. This isn't to say you can't live an intensely unique life and have relationships or a family at the same time, or that you can't be "developed" or "balanced" without relationships/family. It's just acknowledging that sometimes there are costs for people if they want to live a particularly unique life, whether that be having a family, or anything else. It might require completely shedding the cultural mainframe that we are always pressured under. Life is an incredibly precious thing. If you really want something specific, it will require you to completely stop giving any remote fuck about being understood, or accepted. Look at this guy for example. Profoundly happy and content and living in near complete isolation for 40 years! The lesson to learn here is discover what grounds you and be mindful to make it completely independent of the external world, including people. Nobody can really prescribe that for you, you'll have to figure it out on your own. The only caveat is to contemplate and be honest about your happiness. Are you avoiding relationships because of a hidden resentment? Or are you truly happy and the outcome of no relationships is simply flowing from your own lifestyle and sense of grounding.

It doesn't matter if a lot of those people can take them alone and be fine, it's about being extra safe and idiot proofing the process of it so the bad apples don't ruin it for everyone else. It's exactly this kind of caution that will be necessary to move the legalization along and get it more culturally accepted. If you keep encouraging people to consume extremely powerful substances alone, most people will be fine, but eventually with enough people taking them, some who aren't quite as thorough in their safety will jump off the 6th floor of their apartment building. We can't just casually dismiss it every time and say, "oh there is always some idiot outlier like that". It's not acceptable. We need to do everything possible to minimize even those fringe cases. The least you could do is just simply encourage people (mostly newbies) to do them with a partner.

I don't generally have any gripes or issues with the teachings. I think they speak for themselves and those who want to derive benefit from them will do so. However I will bring up a few things which I believe are legitimate points; - The Actualized.Org "style" has been systematically set up in a way that has lent a lot of potential to it behaving like an echo chamber. It's not awful in this regard, but it has some of those aspects. It's good you finally loosened the reigns and started doing interviews again, better late than never, but definitely late. I'm not saying we need to open the floodgates, but there needs to be an opportunity for a healthy level of public feedback. You know enough about how to be careful and precise about this not to fall into the ego traps of online persona wars, so you shouldn't be so consumed by hesitation. - There needs to be a complete and utter advocation of people ONLY taking psychedelics when they have a "sitter" with them. It's incredibly reckless to suggest people take any of these substances alone. If they are responsible and skilled enough to take them on their own they will do that under their own volition. I think it's just sensible for you as a public advocate of these substances to make people take that principle seriously. NEVER take psychedelics/drugs/substances alone. NEVER. Let people breed experience with them by ensuring a safe environment. - I've also seen you be way to callous in some responses to people looking for help with particular issues, by just reckless hip-firing statements like, "Just take some psychedelics and see what happens to X problem you have." People are looking for answers and see you @Leo Gura as an authority figure, so while another solution might be appropriate, they might see your statements and blindly assume they need to take psychedelics. Which could turn out to be a disaster for them and whatever issue they have. It could also work though. I'd say simply exercise more caution in giving these suggestions. Thanks for everything you do. As I said this is all I really have to say. Keep up the good work.

Knowingly sleeping with someone who is already in a relationship is essentially just as bad as the person cheating themselves. It takes two to tango and it's enabling it. So yea definitely not admirable behavior on her part, and probably indicates she wouldn't have much remorse or rationalizations about cheating herself. How you get over her past and your feelings about it though? Well if it makes you uncomfortable ask her to no longer bring it up, or shut the conversation down if it happens on accident. Also practice acceptance of the present moment. Her past, and everyone else's is what it is and cannot be changed. It's wasted emotion and energy to stew on it and judge too harshly. You get over it by focusing on your relationship RIGHT NOW and making it healthy and enjoyable. Personally I have very sharp principles and wouldn't tolerate being in a relationship with someone who admits to that. Perhaps if it was a really long time ago and a single mistake they've clearly learned from. Generally though I cess this stuff out pretty well early on and even if the topic isn't brought up explicitly I can read people and their values. Also you would probably know if someone is in a relationship, like if they are insistent about not going to their place, or other things to pick up on. If you find out they are whether you have slept with your or not you cut it off immediately. Cheating or getting together with someone who wants to cheat are both awful, low consciousness, selfish things to do.

I don't know how deeply entangled you are emotionally, financially, or logistically. But this sounds like a pretty unhealthy situation to be dragged on for that long. He won't even work on it after 3 years, and also gets frustrated and defensive when you bring it up? You shouldn't have to put up with that, especially if you're doing your part and working on yourself as you say. If you aren't connecting sexually which is no doubt an important part of a relationship, you're essentially just really good friends. Not sure if you have thought about leaving him. It's up to you if the relationship is amazing enough in other ways to make up for it, but you shouldn't have to be deprived for so long because of him and what he won't do to remedy things. 3 years might become 5, then 8. So on.

You feel like giving up, and that there is no hope. But is it written somewhere you have to indulge those feelings, or do you feel compelled that it's the truth?

Take a second to cool off and read what I wrote again, if there is any blame you'll see where it lies.

As long as it's consensual and healthy, I'd say anything goes.

That's so sad. I hope his family can get some closure. They deserve it. This is why you ultimately can't trust anybody for these big picture life questions and understandings. Yes you listen to different teachers, read books, and explore different concepts. But whatever conclusions you come to have to be completely authentic and independent, and they usually take a lifetime to develop. Time breeds humility and understanding. If you think you've somehow got the answers to life (and death) by listening to a 30 something year old talking head on YouTube, you've completely lost the plot................

Do you live with your parents or by yourself? How much responsibility do you have for your daily life? If you have to go out and run all your own errands like getting groceries or buying things just kill two birds with one stone. You are going to run into countless women out in the world. Use the natural opportunities you have in your daily life to practice your skills. I literally make a deliberate effort to flirt (at varying levels) with every female cashier, secretary, or administer I run into. Even if I have zero intent to ever date most of them. Not only can it brighten up their day, but it naturally builds confidence with the other sex, and I never have to worry about psyching myself out when I do want to pursue. Apart of the reason it seems so daunting and why you'll never make real progress thinking like this is you're setting it up to be this huge scary task before you even start, when really it's not. You encounter women everyday, fucking talk to them. Like taking a whole Saturday, one of your few days off work and dedicating it to something you can already do 5+ times a day even at work? What a waste.

DOPE.

Don't be tempted to make fun of Jesse Lee Peterson just because he's a conservative pedant. He might seriously have brain damage or sustained some kind of head trauma. Something ain't right with him. The lights are on but nobody is home.

Good long list. I'm sure you could fill a lot of time with those and have a lot of fun doin it.

So? That's just where you're at. That's your journey. There is no script for life, that is pure cultural egoic bullshit. Maybe you're doing what you need to to heal before you break back out. It's only temporary. Then do that! And I'm sure you've got a lot more potential hobbies, or old ones you can re-spark. Actually sit down for an hour and commit to looking at the things you could do and think about them. Not just a passing few minutes of "ahh nothing came to mind right away guess they don't exist."

If you need to do drugs or psychedelics to make hobbies interesting or enjoyable, you might have a substance abuse problem. Things may seem like a chore from where you are right now, but that's because you are sitting where you are right now and not INSIDE the activities giving them an honest chance. Brainstorm some stuff you'd like to do or think would be fun, and just try them. You'll be amazed how fast you'll be consumed by positive emotions.

Simply fill your time doing things you want to do. You'll be enjoying yourself so much you'll practically forget other people exist.

Look, it's so easy to feel shameful and disgusted with yourself because of the huge cultural taboo and hatred towards incest, but you can't blame yourself and stew in those feelings. That's why it won't go away. You were both little kids and didn't know what you were doing! Even if you felt like you did, you definitely didn't understand it or what it meant culturally. Kids are extremely curious and don't have any filter for their actions, or any self control. You could try and talk to your sister about it, but if she doesn't want to process or remember it herself ultimately you will have to do it alone. Think about and appreciate what I said. It will release from your thoughts the second you realize it for what it is.

Got my Pfizer shot today. Can confirm internal organs melting, losing mind. Will be last post on forum. RIP.

It's great to work on yourself, and make small gradual changes in different areas. But those are all to fix "problems", and flaws which is an inherently negative game. You are helping yourself by moving "away" from suffering or a place you don't want to be to somewhere better. What are you doing to move "towards" things that will "fill your cup" and give you the meaning you want? Sorry to break it to you, but nobody will ever be able to offer you anything that fixes this feeling. You can have all the material possessions you want, have the greatest supportive friends, and the most understanding amazing partner. But they can never, never, EVER give you that internal meaning and satisfaction. You have to orient your being, summon your drive, and create that within yourself FOR yourself. In whatever medium that happens to be. This is the most urgent and primary goal of your life. It should be at the top of your priority list after you got your basic survival handled. So the question is @SageModeAustin. Do you know what is meaningful for you personally? What are you doing to pursue it? And if you don't know what it is why do you think you haven't found it yet?

You've got a few options; - Contemplate deeply, and learn if this is an authentic desire or the result of some kind of trauma or other issue with your sexuality that's causing this. - Keep looking for a partner until you find one that understands you and is accepting of your fetish (and will also indulge it). - Hire an escort for a night and go crazy with your fetish to get it out of your system so you can move on. Most fetish's are temporary and don't last. For me personally I haven't had a single one stick around ever.

@Preety_India are you sure about that? Have you ever had a house pet like a dog or cat? You probably notice you can have a profound connection with many animals, just because they don't speak a language doesn't mean you can't decipher very closely what they are feeling. What about infants? They can't speak at all and mothers eventually intuitively figure out what they need. My problem here is with the word itself (slavery). It's the most extreme gradient on a scale where other words can be used. It's like calling someone a rapist because they accidently grazed a woman's arm when she didn't want to be touched. Not only is it inaccurate, but it makes light of all the beings who have actually suffered from slavery.

That's pretty liberal and reckless usage of the word slavery. I think he was just using it to be a smart ass and make a blunt point. There is a historical connotation and severity of the word "slavery" that makes it VERY distinct from things like "ownership", "boss", "caretaker", "guardian". You wouldn't say a child is a "slave" of his/her parents would you? NO. Slavery implies you have near total control over a living thing (and it's survival), but you are DELIBERATELY depriving the quality of it's life in order to extract something. A pet is not a slave. Assuming you are meeting it's basic needs and not maliciously abusing it or making it's life a living hell. So yea Leo is just wrong here.

It's a stretch to consider most or all forms of emotional connection a form of cheating. I think we need to be more nuanced on a case by case basis, where as any unwanted sex act with another person is 100% clear cut cheating because it's physical. For example you can be really good friends with someone in a relationship and give them emotional support, but if there is never that "intent" or clear physical line crossed from the person in the relationship we shouldn't call that cheating. It doesn't matter how malicious the intents of the "orbiter" are in the example if they don't get what they want. It takes two people to cheat. Of course it may be unwanted by their partner if they don't want them developing emotional connections with other people of the opposite sex. But if the intents of the "offender" are truly innocent and pure we can't call that cheating. It's just a miscommunication in that particular relationship. You see it's tricky. This isn't black and white like physical infidelity. Equating the two (emotional vs physical) because of the dynamics of what males prefer vs what females prefer seems a slightly dishonest and convenient way to warp the reality of the situation. Statistically men cheat more than women do. Ironically though the majority of conversation around this topic I've seen seem to be coming from men whining (not that this thread is that), which leads me to believe it's just them venting and expressing an insecurity based in bias and falsehood. Unless a sexual line is crossed things aren't really clear. When people get upset that their partner has an emotional connection outside of the relationship they might be tempted to call that cheating because they fear what it might lead to, but that's entirely dependent on how deep the emotional connection is, or if it's used as a deliberate replacement for the relationship or not. You may very well be right about the cultural bias and double standards. But fuck culture, we shouldn't be too concerned about it anyways as independent thinkers. You influence the larger healthier shifts that need to happen by being principled as an individual and leading by example. Crusading and fighting in gender wars just makes the situation worse, something most people seem to be unaware of.