Roy

6 dates no sex? Is this over the course of 2 weeks or more than a month? There is no "rule" written per say, but that is quite a few encounters without sex especially if you're both adults. Either she is really pure/innocent and want to hold off until that "magical moment", or you are doing something wrong and pushing with the wrong frame like Leo said. My advice is loosen up and be light hearted in the next date. At the start of the date tell her you really like her and want to connect in that way (physically), but you'll be cool and wait until she's ready. Then back off with a little bit, touch her less. Don't be needy. Give her the space and the chance to chase YOU and she'll probably fuck you that night or the next one. Works pretty well in my experience. If it doesn't happen in the next 1-3 encounters it's probably compatibility problems and you should cut things off.

Sorry about the radio silence. I've slowed down on dating quite a bit. Going through an emotionally confusing time. Idk how to feel. I also had an experience I'm not sure what to think about, but I don't feel comfortable sharing it. For anyone following the thread just forget about it for a while. It will remain inactive until I'm feeling better about things. Apologies.

Interesting journal, kinda hot tbh aha! Yea there is something remarkable about the experience of great sex. It gives us such a healthy relief we can't get anywhere else, and an opportunity to express ourselves in a way that words and regular language simply can't. Some of the most amazing sex I've had was earlier in the year with this woman. She was on the mainland Vancouver and I'm on the island, and usually I'm pretty consistent with my standards but it was a new year so I decided to loosen up a bit and give it a chance, glad I did! We talked on the phone for many hours over the course of 2 weeks before meeting. It made sense if a date was going to happen it would be an overnight trip because of the distance. I suggested I'd sleep on the couch and we both said we had no expectations because it's not common to sleep over on the first date. Low and behold there was a lot of tension when we got back to her place, sat down to watch a movie and within a minute got at each other like animals. I never realized just how many times I could cum in a night if I really wanted to bahaha. There was a pretty insane level of lust going on because we built a decent emotional connection before meeting. There is something really exciting when you meet someone who almost exactly matches your sexual experience and drive. Usually preferences don't overlap that well. Anyways don't want to hijack your thread @ivankiss sorry I would be strategic about this new girl here. Probably back off so you only see each other once every week or two weeks. I've had those situations before and seen it enough times, someone ALWAYS catches feelings. You've gotta be really reserved, set hard boundaries, and have constant communication about the situation. If you leave any ambiguity, either your mind or hers is going to wander to make something more of out things than either of you want. Just have fun and enjoy your time with her, but keep it sparse so you don't get in over your head!

Kamloops could hit near 50C on Tuesday. I invite people to look on a map of where that is lol.

I'm in the Cowichan Valley where it's getting pretty bad. I've gotta work in it this weekend....... AND probably gonna have to fight some wildfires too AND my ankle is bummed............. On top of that I have to listen to fucking boomers during the day, "Oh global warming isn't real this is just the way the Earth is, it's actually getting COLDER! Justin Trudeau something something....." we live in a clown world!

There is value in what he's saying. But it doesn't apply to be useful or the right advice for everyone. He's not a paragon of relationship mastery either btw. There are many others to learn from. I think it's an extremely rare thing that only certain couples can pull off, so chances are you are both that kind of person are low. Also it's usually much older people who have accumulated huge amounts of experience and understanding of themselves that they can do it healthily. Like someone said it's playing with fire. If it did go the distance, what's wrong with that? Stop trying to analyze and pick apart happiness, it's in your hands!!!!

Stop overthinking and possibly self-sabotaging the relationship by worrying about juvenile selfish stuff like "sampling a buffet" (lol how material does that sound?). Why throw away a good thing? Definitely don't seriously entertain the idea of an open relationship either. ENJOY your current relationship! Love the hell out of each other, spend time together, grow together. Look @Actualizer777. It's both your first serious relationship right? Let's be honest, chances are this thing isn't going the distance. Enjoy it for what it is. Maybe within the next few years you split up. You'll still be in your mid/late 20's and then you'll be able to "test the field" all you want. Hell even if it happened later in your 30's or 40's who cares? Is there an age limit on enjoying yourself and having sex with people? People need to seriously stop with this archetype of how relationship cycles are supposed to function in life. Don't behave like fuckin sheep! Grow a pair and take your own journey, and don't apologize for it. You don't have to bang 10-20 girls as a prerequisite to become a "man" or find "the one" girl you want to settle down in your life with. Especially don't do it just because "Leo said so".

I had some epiphanies and spiritual insights growing up, even while I was in my atheistic phase. During that time I always intuited that there something "more" to life, I just knew it wasn't being advertised properly by others. My atheism and skepticism was just purely serving as a necessary filter for a lot of the bullshit I saw until I was ready to move on and felt I knew what was "legit". Now I'm at a point where I'm starting to deeply understand those insights and experiences better, and I recognize it's a highly individual effort. I've gotten pretty far with thinking, contemplating, reflection so far, but I'll be looking to add in some actual spiritual practices now. This might shock some but I don't even have more than 5 hours meditation experience for my entire life lol, and I haven't done any psychedelic's in my life besides a hit of salvia. Also just a personal note; I feel we should all be weary of trying to centralize spirituality, sabotages the core of it too much. Anytime you try to organize something and create power dynamics around it, it's corrupting.

Maybe there were some truth inside what you felt, but still you want to temper them and stay rational until you meet him and spend a lot of time together.

What was the context of the conversation that made you say something like this? That's one of the most incredibly direct and intense things you could say to anyone, let alone a potential date.

Don't try to escalate to pull her to your house on the same night as date 3 if you haven't even kissed her yet. That's reckless advice here for this girl. That's how you blow it by ramping up from 0-60, makes you look confused and inexperienced when what she wants is someone confident and at ease. There is no set dates you need to have sex by, don't get caught about about statistical details. You won't learn anything that way. You guage the pacing of physical connection by each individual girl. You just respond as a decent caring person but ALSO who has their own life going on and is cool enough that he doesn't care about the outcome. Texting is just for staying in touch so you can set up another meet, that's where you will build the connection. If a day or two passes without any messages don't get in your head, it's not like they have forgotten you exist lol. With a brand new girl you maybe ask her a 1-2 questions to get the ball rolling on a connection/points of interest and then within hopefully the context of the short conversation ask for a date. I aim to ask within 4-7 messages. Seems to be the sweet spot. My record for securing a date so far is 2 messages, still aiming for the gold medal first message. It's tough though very few women are receptive to that. It doesn't give them a chance to do their cessing out of you.

This forum is owed better threads than this c'mon guys lol.

She could genuinely be very tired from work and scorching weather. Which is not something you plan, you feel awful the day it happens. If you've ever felt exhausted and burnt out from heat then you know how awful it is. You're only going to feel shitty thinking she's maliciously trying to test you. It's paranoid to worry about such stuff anyways, it's only a small % of psychopathic younger girls who do that sort of scheming and games. Most people are actually pretty decent people. They might make mistakes but they don't do shitty things like that. And guess what? If she WAS that kind of girl you don't want her anyways. You dodged a bullet and can do better. Either way the correct response is to be chill about it. Say something casual, "No worries, get hydrated and rest !" Sit back for a day or two, give her time to think about you > Then ask her if she's feeling better and suggest meeting (within 1-2 days ideally).

Idk dude it's complicated haha. I'm still figuring out my strengths and weaknesses. To be honest I've struggled a lot in life so far and have been a late bloomer for most things. I'm sure I got way ahead in some areas compared to other people, but it was at the sacrifice of other areas. I guess off the top of my head with no detail my strengths and weaknesses +++ Intuition. Level-headedness. Altruism. --- Feeling of being lost/behind. Lack of confidence. Indecision. I feel things starting to gel together though after years of depression and hard times, like I'm finally becoming a man and shaping up to the person I want to be. Not exactly in the way I naively envisioned when I was younger but something different and probably better.

There is nothing bad about it. In fact if you're honest and pay close attention you'll realize everyone is actually "single" all the time for their entire lives. No matter who is in your life or how connected you are, you are always in the solitude of your own mind. The reason it gets stigmatized is because it's bad for normies who don't have the inner strength and can't stand to be alone with themselves lol. Just make sure you're working on yourself, content, and can actually enjoy being alone. If you choose to no longer be single, make sure you're seeking a relationship for the right reasons and from a place of health.

You're aware of it, that's half the battle. Just be mindful of it right now and don't let the urges cause you to do anything reckless or regretful. It will pass.

Simply because these kind of topics draw out peoples insecurities and light them up like a neon sign. Then they distract themselves from those insecurities by turning things into a dick measuring contest - both figurately and sometimes literally

To hook-up is to sleep with someone without seriously intending to get to know them, or stay with them for a relationship. Or alternatively it means you are planning on leaving after after sex. Dating could mean a lot of things, it doesn't say anything about intentions. Dating just means you are looking to meet people as "more than friends". I've had hooked-up and had sex with a bunch of people since I got here. About a new person every month, of course a lot of the times it was "fun" but largely been unsatisfying for me. I can't really do it anymore. I even fucked a 9 who had the best rack I've ever encountered, omg they were nice , but even THAT didn't do it for me because I didn't end up liking her that much. There was a more serious partner in January for a month who was a great woman, and the sex was very very good. Our physicality and drives matched well, I think we did it like 6 times one day? But it just wasn't a super practical relationship for long term so I ended it to save future deeper pain. I realize that phase just isn't for me anymore. I have to like or love someone emotionally if I am going to be physically intimate. Otherwise honestly I can give myself a better orgasm than 9/10 women can, but obviously that gets boring after a while. This doesn't mean I will never have a fling again. If there is some amazing encounter where it resonates in the moment deeply I will go for it. Otherwise no.

This is my tinder. Two notes - Not my main profile pic I screenshotted here. I haven't really adjusted text thing since I got here 9 months ago lol. I'm too lazy to try hard and learn all the tricks and gimmicks. I just went with the first thing that came to mind and it works well enough for me. It seems to filter out all the girls I wouldn't want to match with. I could probably spend a few hours learning the ins and outs and getting some better pictures.... buuuuuuut I don't care lol. Maybe it would be an ego boost to get more matches, but I have enough now where I get somewhat exhausted thinking about who to invest in and who not to.

Doesn't it feel like a huge relief when you realize a lot of the shit in our heads is just thin air that can leave in an instant ? The truth is if we are honest - we can't really predict the future, so why stress about it? Just a tip if you find it useful: Don't worry too much about she wants to do, she said she'd like to do something (with you) on friday. Lead and come up with something that you really want to do so it's fun and you'll be at ease during the time and can therefore share that energy with her. Have fun!

People need to drop the whole "Alpha/Beta" lingo and frame/understand things in a healthier way. Those terms might be useful to a complete newbie but should be discarded pretty quickly. People are more dynamic and layered than, "He is just a beta-male. While this guy is clearly an Alpha!" It can slow down so much progress if you're neurotically tethered to fulfilling simple childish archetypes. Center your focus on working to fix specific issues you might have. Don't get distracted by labels and narratives. If you really want to believe that, then yes it can be "true". Luckily for you, you don't have to.

I get that same problem occasionally. I don't just want to make any joke, but the "best" one. Causing me to overthink and the moment to pass by. Meditation and mindfulness certainly helps like you mentioned. Knowing it's a feedback loop makes you aware of it, so now you can interject and break it! Don't think about it in the frame of "recovering" because that feeds the idea you've lost (which is ok if it does happen sometimes = experience). Frame it that you are gaining control. Something as simple as taking a deep breathe (silently through the mouth works for me), can eliminate that shakiness pretty fast. You are using a physical solution to solve a physical problem. Instead of trying to "think" your way out of shakiness. If you don't seize an opportunity here or there, remember the logical reality that there are going to be literally THOUSANDS more encounters in your life. All good

Sometimes those negative emotions/thoughts are just there, don't worry so much about "getting rid of them" all the time. As if you aren't aloud to try being funny, charismatic, or interesting just because you don't feel 100%? Why would you think that ?

I posted a couple things here over the weekend but it looks like there was a forum issue or something. Idk if I have the energy to rehash what I wrote. I might later. Anyways in short had a nice 5 hour date (3rd date) on the beach last night with Natalie. Connected pretty well with her, I'm not clear about commitment levels though after we had our departing conversation. It will remain tentative for now which is ok with me.

I'd say 20+, for either gender. I don't buy into the red pill laced talking point and attitude that women "should" have a lower lay count than men. It just comes from insecurity from thousands of years of subconscious patriarchy eroding Also have to keep in mind this is a self improvement forum, with some dysfunctional people, and PUA's who will distort perceptions of what is normal or "healthy". Of all the "normies" I've met in my life (99.9999% of people not doing self-help), I would discern most of them have never had more than 5-15ish sexual partners. Which seems like a pretty reasonable and healthy number of people to engage with in that way.