Roy

There is no difference between aloneness and connection with everything.

@SelfLove Most of them are designed to be extremely time consuming so you've gotta watch out for that, and not get invested in too many. Just compare TV as a medium of art to film - It takes 8-12 episodes of 30-50 minutes each and multiple seasons to tell a story in mostly unnecessary detail, that a movie can compact into a 1.5-2 hour experience. Which is a better investment? It's okay to have something to relax and completely shut off to once in a while, just be mindful of it's quality (are you learning from it?) and how much time you are spending doing it. Personally I only follow a single show (The Expanse), as I've realized the rest is mostly garbage and doesn't meet my standards lol.

You've been mostly unhappy for years as you've put it, and are under "daily-torture". Yet you are still unsure about whether you should break up? Am I getting that right? Those emotions and feelings you've been having are signals OF that inner voice dude! At some point you need to stop waiting to be satiated by your doubt going away and just make a decision. Sometimes you have to pull the trigger on big decisions not knowing exactly where it will lead to. Time is a precious resource. Don't see it as "taking something away from you". See it as taking back control by radically changing your environment and relationships, so you can get back to that place where you're bright and full, with so many dreams. If you're having that much consistent doubt about things over 2 years that goes beyond just your OCD. The answer is already there, you just haven't gotten past the fear to face it yet.

Who gives a shit? What people think doesn't matter. It's as important as what colour dirt is. It shows actual confidence and integrity when you can choose not to participate in such a widespread cultural habit and be secure in that. If you don't like the way it makes you feel, why in the WORLD would you do it? It's such a simple thing to get an answer to. Like Sadhguru said on the topic of smoking, "There is nothing wrong or bad about smoking, it's just a stupid thing to do." I haven't drank alcohol in 10 years, because I just stopped liking it. Did I "miss out" sometimes? Yes, but if you're honest you'll realize it's a small cost to pay for your own health and integrity.

They censor it because it's misinformation, it's disruptive, and it doesn't help anyone. Remember in school how there was always that kid that got sent into the hallway or to the office because they were being too annoying? It's like that, but scaled up to the level of society lol.

I finally got my 2nd dose of Pfizer yesterday. Feeling quite relieved ! No noticeable symptoms besides a sore shoulder. Just like any other of the 20+ vaccines I've got in my life really, except this one is waaaaay more important.

You are right in the sense of screening for people who are extremely reckless and impulsive, but I don't think a big deal should be made of it, or made so black and white. In my experience you should be in the moment in a relationship and not dwell over the past. Find out who they are as a person currently, and what kind of relationship you think you can build with them, that's what matters. You can piece together a vague understanding of someone's history through different conversations and stories, but not so explicitly like "exactly how many people have you slept with?". Not only does it summon pointless feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, and mistrust - it's just too confrontational and a possible relationship killer. I NEVER ask how many guys a girl has slept with, and I don't EVER answer if I'm asked. I just smirk and play coy You want to create an aura of mystery, cool, and security.

I mean it matters to you or me, depending on what standards we want to have for our health. To some people it sadly doesn't matter at all. Take a pack of cigarettes for example, and all the images, warnings, and labels on it. Most sane people would see that stuff and never pick it up, yet there are those who smoke a pack a day in spite of it. I'm not excusing that behavior or peoples habits. Hell, if I had it MY way I would be a nutritional dictator for society and make overweight kids and adults legally be forced to do basic training for the army But it just is what it is. One of the outcomes of "freedom" we can call it.

This is just normal. Unless you are clearly a supermodel/millionaire that is way higher value than the people you're meeting, it's just common sense that you are only going to be compatible for a relationship with like 1/10 people you meet, not even. Values have to be in the same ballpark, goals have to go in the same direction, personalities need chemistry, lifestyles and time off have to intertwine. That's a lot of shit that has to go right to even have a chance at a decent long term relationship, past just meeting and having sex a few times. If you are strictly after sex and short term flings just go to a bar or club any night of the week. I guarantee you could pull a different girl at least once a week. Depends what you are after though. You need to go to the places you'll find exactly what you're looking for. Not just completely random approaches and expecting things to fall into what you want.

They just heat up water molecules to make the food heat up. Sounds pretty safe. idk the science behind it but I don't think it causes cancer or anything or there would be a lot more fear of them. Then again we use plenty of other technology that makes us sick all the time so I guess it wouldn't matter. Convenience I guess. It's easy to just have food on a dish and ready to be heated in less than 2 mins. Rather than putting a pan on the stove. Waiting 5+ minutes to cook, using olive oil/flipping so your meal doesn't get burned. Those kind of time differences are meaningful to people when they are hungry af and want to eat NOW

lol I'm pretty sure microwaves are extremely safe to use. I'd be more worried about the kind of food you're putting IN it to be honest. The lid is so shit doesn't get everywhere inside when you overcook stuff mate.

lmao that guy looks like if Michael Cera and Richard Dawkins had a baby.

Often when trying to address these areas in their lives, people swing the pendulum from one side to another to "correct" things. Which while may directly help, also creates a lot of chaos and a whole new set of problems. A wiser approach would be to keep your niceness, but trim it down to a more authentic degree, and then experiment adding in elements of carelessness, aggressiveness, detachment, and competence. Remember it's about becoming a well rounded complete person. Not swapping out archetypes to serve whatever is convenient to your egoic wants and desires. Edit: It's also about protection and containment for women too. It's more typical for them to want someone stronger and more aggressive than them on average. Which is understandable given what we know about evolution/child bearing. They will prefer a stronger man even if it might come with some drawbacks/stresses.

Pointless, garbage, unproductive thread. Also do not call out users by their name in a provoking manner or you will receive points for harassment. You will get none for now, just an informal warning.

He is the wisest primate I know that's for sure.

Hah, at least you can watch it! I've grown to have an entirely new problem the past few months > I can't even watch or enjoy ANY porn at all anymore. I have zero interest and nothing gets me going at all.

Unless it's one of my favourite songs by them talking about being fisted because one is desensitized from lack of control over selfish pleasures. Definitely Stage Red

Source? Almost every statistic I've EVER seen shows that men cheat more than women. There is a false narrative that's painted that makes it seem like men are bigger victims in this domain, but it's mostly just excessive whining because it appears there is more of a wounding factor to male pride/ego when it's betrayed. Also there is an unspoken expectation that women are "supposed" to be more loyal in their nature because of the raising children factor, while men cheating gets somewhat of a cultural pass within the gender for being a "player", and in this very thread people talking about how it's slightly ok because of the male primal urge for variety lmao. The betrayal of these archetypes may cut deep but it doesn't reflect reality. Women are more faithful and trustworthy, this is just factually the case.

You're wording this hypothetical as if suddenly there would be a naked woman in front of you, behind closed doors lol. Which of course isn't the case in real life. There are a bunch of steps leading up to that situation like approaching her, continuing the conversation with personal intent, flirting, logistically working out how to see each other again, and then getting into a private space together............ That's a LOT of opportunities for self-control over that natural impulse leading up to the opportunity for sex, and just a string of violation after violation. I just don't get how you want to use this as an example of "male-nature" we need to accept, when it just doesn't happen. Really attractive women know their value and don't offer themselves up like that.

That's life ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hehe. The key is not to stress over the details too much, but enjoy the ride. It ain't over til it's over. Just live your life in the meantime, who knows maybe you're in a for a pleasant surprise when she gets back? I've found one the important parts of being a man (or anyone for that matter), is to not have too many expectations. You should have standards and principles which you are firm on, but you don't "expect" people to behave a certain way. You don't have any power or attraction there. You can only control yourself, and become a "rock" so to say that will attract others. Relying on other people to "fulfill" things for you, you'll just be a victim to surprise, disappointment, confusion, sadness, anger etc.. Fulfill yourself, then share that with those who come.

Might be the case of reading too much into it. Girls usually are close with their parents and family oriented. Is it not reasonable they'd be a priority for her over someone she's been on a couple dates with? Let's flip it your way too, would your parents not take a priority too if you rarely see them? You'll always be living in the same city as this girl. Anyways... Here is what will probably happen > She'll go see her parents. Maybe have a great time (or get annoyed haha), and come back home wanting to get back into HER life again. She'll remember how she cancelled 2 dates and feel a little guilty, and be eager to make something happen again. You need to leave that opportunity for her to suggest a date and give her space to think about her feelings about you. ALL you need to do is maybe message once randomly over the course of time she is gone like, "hey, hope you're having a good trip :)!", or playful, "enjoying your rents place or is it a prison like mine haha?". Just reminding her you exist and are interested in a very subtle casual way, but not begging for an answer. A message or two back and forth, that's it. Judging by the wording of your posts it seems you subconsciously know this to be the case, but your mind is trying to sabotage you and put you down emotionally. I've been there , it's so easy to want to listen to those stories because you just sit there and they write themselves, but you've got to keep letting go and focusing on other things to keep you occupied and happier. Like talking to more girls and getting dates! Which you are doing, so that definitely is easing things right? Regardless if she changes her mind and doesn't want to have another date, or makes another date and cancels again well... her loss! Sometimes connections just flame out even though they seemed promising. It's not anybody's fault. Lives can't always intertwine in every interaction that happens, there could be one of a hundred reasons people shouldn't be together, even if they like each other. It's amazing that there are as many relationships as there are to be honest, also goes to show you how most people don't really work on making something great. They just get desperate and compromise it all so they don't have to be alone.

How you feel about how relationships ought to work between men and women isn't the paragon of truth. If @ivankiss and his friend don't want to enter a serious relationship and have boundaries about it, then that is their choice. It doesn't make it "wrong" if one of them starts to feel different about things, it just isn't what they previously decided on.

Be careful not to mistake power for genuine leadership and vision, a common trap.

That's the first step, great. Acknowledging it's existence, rather than denying and suppressing. Subconsciously it may feel like you're in the "drivers seat" when it's being suppressed, but really it's just avoidance, and you lose control of that "drivers seat" when it comes up in other ways you might not notice or can control. No, that is not a healthy way to deal with it. Destruction is a sneaky way of feeding it's power and thinking it's valid. Although something like a punching bag or exercise generally is a good way to healthily expel the energy. Try it if you haven't. As you aren't in a position to exercise all the time, it's a good idea to work on it mentally and spiritually. You're right about letting it flow! Use meditation and breathing exercises to put yourself in an "observer" state. You want to let the anger exist, let it flow (not in the way The Emperor wants ), and simply notice it go by. Ask questions like: - Why am I angry? - What is the source? Is that source valid? Am I overreacting? - Is this anger true? - Is it helpful? - What would happen if I let go? As you practice this and get better at being in "observer" mode you'll notice the feeling of anger will dissolve faster and faster. The anger exists and it can be real, but it's usually hollow, and it's US that is making it seem "full" and giving it power. Hope this helps.

This will be a place to gather, organize, and reflect on my thoughts about the women I meet in my search for a partner. I'm not just looking for ANY partner though. I don't care for mediocre, or for good, or for just sex. That's way too easy for me. I'm not just going to dive into an average relationship like most people because of the fear of being alone. I am totally content and happy alone. What I'm looking for is very particular, and I won't settle for anything less than high quality. If it's not great and not healthy, then I won't do it. I deserve what I want. You'll get a personal look into some of the inner thought process and feelings I have when navigating this stuff. It won't be too mechanical, it will be more of an organic jotting down of notes and things I'm contemplating about for my journey in this aspect of my life. This process will (hopefully) help me get closer to what I truly want and cause me to transcend some old patterns and failures I've had so far - Attachment, "oneitis", neediness, "seeing where it goes" etc. I'll be altering the names of the people I meet in order to protect their identity. I will only share what I want to or deem relevant. Sometimes some of the things I say might seem judgmental or brash, or straight up inappropriate. If you don't like it, I mean, too bad? Just don't come here then The structure will mostly just be about the dates and encounters I have + random notes about sexuality/relationships. I will be dating LOTS of people in order to find the best match for what I'm after. It may seem like I'm juggling or being a "player" but that's not what it is. I will end up building relationships with multiple people for sometime, but I am extremely careful with how I am going to invest emotionally, and when to cross certain lines. I am brutally honest about my intentions with the people I meet. As soon as I don't think someone is a great fit or it is clear a relationship with them would be a "dead end", I will cut them out - honestly and directly. That way they have closure and hopefully aren't hurt, and we can both move on. When I find that person I want to seriously commit to they will be exclusive and I will immediately cut contact with all others. DISCLAIMER: I will be restraining having sex with any of them until the time I decide to commit. It tends to taint the relationship and sets a weird tone if I do it too early from my experience. HOWEVER (LOL) If it feels extremely passionate and resonates with the moment enough in the right way, I am going to have sex. I'm not looking to pump and dump anyone. I don't want to seduce them into getting attached and creating expectations and then cut them off after having sex, that's not fair. If I want to fuck someone I can go to any party, club, or bar any night of the week. It's a joke to me and not what I want. If you have any questions or input, feel free to post. Just know if you don't behave I will erase your comments and/or ban you. MY IDEAL PARTNER TRAITS (No Particular Order): (Likely to revise list. Not looking to have every single trait fulfilled. Just most of them or the right combination.) PREFERENCES Straight/Bi/Queer. They have to know their orientation here. No suppressed desires. 22ish to 42ish years old. I don't care that much about age, but this is the range of comfort for me. Emotionally mature. Understands (generally) what their emotions mean, and makes an effort to manage them. Quirky. Not completely necessary, but I find it attractive most times. Open-minded. Can talk about nearly anything without getting triggered or defensive. Sexually competent & confident. Isn't shy about what they like in the bedroom/is experienced. Willing to try new things once in a while. Doesn't get judgmental or weird. Understands respect and consent. Financially independent. Not overly concerned with what they do for money or if they like it or not. Simply employed and make enough to sustain themselves + enough left over to feed their hobbies and contribute to the relationship. Acceptable physical health and aware of respecting, maintaining, and improving it. They don't have to be in model shape, but can at least keep up in a hike or other activities without getting ill. A sense of adventure. They have to be ok with my occasional childlike nature. Also prefer a bit of a "bad girl". Willing to break minor laws once in a while for the sake of spontaneity and fun, like trespassing. Sassy. I prefer a woman who knows how to be a bitch at the right time, like when it's funny. Willing to challenge and call me out sometimes when I need it. DEALBREAKERS Wants biological children 100%