Roy

I am sorry you're in pain. Look, I don't what your experiences are but I would try and take a step back from spirituality/philosophy or at least try to feel neutral about it while you focus on other things like your basic health. Personally I think solipsism is bullshit, and if it's not doing anything good for you and actually damaging then maybe you should drop it. If you cumulated the ideas that it's accurate, you can unaccumulate those ideas as well. Or find a different perspective just for now. I also highly admire you for looking to get sober from all those substances. I believe you can do it, just do one day at a time, all you have is one day at a time anyways. Maybe a game that would be helpful for you is to write down a list of all the different drugs you ever took like you did here, and then write an alternative "stimulant" to give you pleasure that is a physical activity or hobby. Smoking = Going Walking down the street Alcohol = Listening to your favorite music It can be anything. The point is replacing your habits is equally as important as quitting them.

What do you mean by this, exactly.

Soldiers are more or less ALL going to be around Red/Blue, it's way of life and career that demands intense commitment to lower consciousness modes of behavior. You aren't going to be a very effective soldier if you continually expand your ethics and your ways of thinking/interacting in the world become more dynamic. It just doesn't square within the confines of what's required in war. Increase in consciousness will literally make it untenable for one to participate willingly. This is pretty obvious as it's a young mans game and people tend to get out of it as they age and develop. Of course within the military there are other branches that don't get their hands as dirty like logistics, HR, leadership, etc. I'm sure those paths leave a lot more room for more developed Spiral Dynamics. As for "soldiers" though, no. While they obviously deserve a level of respect for what they do, they are more or less useful idiots that just serve an unfortunately necessary role in the physical world we live in. I recall wanting to be a med tech in the forces in my early 20's, but now in my late 20's after all I've been through and wisdom I've garnered it's essentially unthinkable to me. I'll stick to firefighting and first responding thanks lol. While their reasons (and methods) for fighting are radically different, I'd argue they have an uncomfortable amount more in common than we would like to believe.

Have you considered you maybe lost those friends because you are identifying too strongly with being a "self-actualizer", going on a lonesome journey? Everybody is going on their own journey really, whether it's spiritual or otherwise. Sometimes whatever path you end up taking might be great for making friends, or maybe it won't be, but there is no reason you can't make a conscious effort to leave room for people. Even if you don't resonate fully and can't talk about all the same things, there is value there. Contemplate that there is a difference between the price you're actually paying for your path, and the price you're paying that you think you ought to pay.

@Scholar just hit the ball out of the park.

You just exactly proved his point lol. You don't really have any idea. Really for all we know he could be lying, maybe he just learned all the techniques and talks about it eloquently just to make money? He's never actually shared any real proof, in-field videos, or information from his personal life. I'm not saying that he HAS to, there are very good reasons not to share such information on the cess-pit that is the internet. It's not that I personally don't believe him either, he isn't a malicious person to me. My point here is that you have to be careful and check yourself when putting people on a pedestal in your mind. You don't need to be as neurotic and uncharitable for them to have to prove every little thing they say, but also don't pretend to assume everything they say as true and take it as gospel, either.

Look there are a lot of radically different paths one can take in life, but there is a reason it's considered a unanimously terrible decision to drop out of high school. Don't be a dumbass. Just finish it while trying to enjoy it the best you can. It will fly by faster than you realize. Also high school isn't even technically a fulltime thing. You're only there 5-6 hours of the day. If you want to make money there is still plenty of time to get a part-time job after school and/or on the weekends to save up. Not to mention you'll get to keep it all to yourself since you shouldn't have any expenses at your age. If you drop out it will actually even be harder to get a job at your age if you're not in school. Employers look at people without high school diplomas like lepers.

@Leo Gura So basically become Christian Bale from American Psycho, got it. Hehehehehe.

I'm honest enough to have a conversation with him, but I'm not honest enough to say which caller I'll end up being. I'll leave that to guess

Blasphemy is when your basketball opinions operate outside the narrative of what is acceptable to Stephen A Smith. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiuXRfUnezw&t=2s&ab_channel=StephenA.SmithBurner

Exactly. It pierces right through so many layers that people are used to playing in-between, that just the act of being purely honest is kind of like trolling. Not the malicious type where you're trying to cause grievance. Like I said I think it's a bit for his own amusement. He is obviously keenly aware how he's more authentic than most people, and realizes he's got to play a bit of their game to connect. I'm actually going on his call-in show tonight so I'll feel first hand what I'm talking about haha.

From what I've gathered MrGirl seems to amuse himself by trolling and playing up a bit of a role, exposing that people on the internet take themselves way too seriously. He's so committed he's even playing it to the point where most people really think he is a Pedo and he barely even denies it, which is honestly probably the worst label possible. You'd get less flak being an Islamic Terrorist online because at least there are some lunatic relative progressives that would defend you (assuming you were brown). It's probably not the most effective way to introduce Yellow but, at least it's working somewhat? We live in the age of shock and stupidity and if that's what it takes to get more Yellow out there so be it I guess. You have to realize most people aren't even close to being ready for Yellow, it's such a small percentage of the population. Only a small portion of people are actually searching for it. A guy like Peter Ralston has been around forever and nobody has really ever heard of them. Even Leo's sub count while still large has kind of stalled out for a few years because of his advancement in level of content. His views have tanked compared to his old stuff simply because the majority of people aren't ready for it. Going from Tier 1 to Tier 2 it's difficult to appreciate how incredible a leap that is. Getting to Green is basically like surfacing in the water after drowning in the shit of Red/Blue/Orange. Then to get to Yellow you have to swim all the way to dry land that you probably can't even spot yet. Most people are exhausted when they surface the water at Green, and when you tell them they need to get to land they'll tell you to piss off.

I love Sam. He is the person that bridged the gap from materialism, to opening me up to everything else. For that I'll be forever thankful and supportive of him.

If he really doesn't want to do them and you keep pushing him, it says more about you than it does about him.

The problem I have (in Canada) with my governments response is they have been inconsistent and scared to piss anyone off, even for a short period of time. Yet there is also narrative of shaming people for not following the rules they set. The problem is when you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing nobody. They've done all these half-measures and between braking then and putting their foot on the gas, that it feels like it's just prolonging our ability to set up the systems we need to deal with living with the virus long term. For example anytime they know a wave is coming, and they DO know when it's coming, because everybody knows - They should have just done a hard lockdown for 1 week, or 2 weeks. It would suck for a very short time, but would put a massive dent in the surge of cases and give us longer intervals to recover and get things back to the way people want them to be. It would mean less annoying minor rules being constantly implemented and revoked that just piss everyone off, like vaccine mandates, gathering restrictions, cancellations, etc. Instead, what we have is a perpetual stream of incompetence because those in power are too worried about jeopardizing their jobs next election cycle. We are so so lucky this virus is relatively mild to what could have happened. Covid has exposed how deeply complacent and misguided our systems and resources are set up.

You move on by finding the next thing that's even better, when you're in the middle you'll only be tempted to reach back. In my experience.

To sum it up as sharply as possible - Change is painful, because it means what was once before has to die, in order for the next.

Yes, for example - in a way you could argue WW2 was the greatest thing to ever happen for humanity. To summarize off the hip, it was a sort of purge of some of our worst tribalism and toxicities, it showed the absolute limits and reasons we needed to transcend nationalism and move onto higher ideas. The struggle forced technology to advance in order to fight for survival. In turn we developed nuclear weapons, which ironically were made to be the ultimate card of war, are in some ways directly responsible for the longest enduring peace we've ever had. We now live in a world that while yes is unequal for a lot of people, is factually materially more prosperous for more people than ever before, not being limited to just Aristocrats. Global trade and cooperation has lifted hundreds of millions of people out of poverty. The thing is we are selfish and short sighted, people just see what we have now and take it for granted. They don't want to think about what came before, and they don't want their circumstances to change, even if it will be necessary for future people. They don't want to be made to realize there is a cost to everything, but as they say, there is no such thing as a free meal. People might have an impulse to moralize and interpret this as a view that justifies suffering and excuses human (or animal) casualties as a price that must be paid for something considered more worthwhile, or that the ends justify the means. I don't see it this way. I find this is the only way to really explain and make sense of the atrocities and needless suffering going on in the world. That there is some kind of higher intelligence at play, and it will continue to do so regardless of how inconvenient or confusing the conditions might be for our small, tiny little egos. I get the sense one might think this sort of intellectualization of this topic is incompatible with being able to empathize or appreciate the seriousness of suffering. I can understand those thoughts but personally I don't find it to be the case, for me it's actually been the opposite. Before I thought I understood suffering and what it meant, now I'm even more in touch. I study a lot of history in my spare time, and when watching videos and material on the Holocaust I actually cry. At risk of sounding arrogant, I don't actually believe the majority of people have such emotional or vulnerable responses. They say they comprehend how awful something like the Holocaust is, and they will crusade against Nazis at every opportunity. But I think they are really just putting on more of a cloak for their own ego, and the depths of their empathy is much more shallow than they will ever admit.

lol Ben is doing it not because he is appealing to Green humanism. It's because he resonates with them being an oppressed ethnic/religious group (Muslim Uyghurs), and his group being (Jewish). Also because he hates China and fears them threatening American hegemony, also Nationalist/Group thinking.

I'm a firm believer that actions matter more than words, by a large margin actually. I don't take the things most people say seriously at all, because I guess #1 it's always easier to talk shit, and #2 I support Free Speech (generally) and don't find the utility in getting triggered by what people say, even if it's "dangerous". We ought to let people (to a degree) speak their minds and say how they think and feel, so if their idea sucks it can be challenged then and there and they can be changed. When you stop listening to them or silence them too aggressively that's when they feel they have no choice but to act. The difference is having your skin in the game. Actions define people, not words. It's a bad take, yea. However I don't hold the positions people take, or their identity against them too much, even if I disagree. I like to believe people are more dynamic and have more potential than that. It's too cynical. I guess what I'm saying is I don't believe Ben would actually hurt anyone or physically act out on his worst beliefs, which matters more to me. To expand on what I'm talking about it's like when you're searching for people to learn from for some topic, or maybe even looking for a guru of some sort. If you have any sense of reading people you can easily tell the difference between someone bullshitting (just talking), vs the real deal. When you walk in a room and there is a truly wise person there you immediately feel it. They have a magnetic presence and just radiate. It's not that I'm saying Ben Shapiro is that person lol. Just hope you understand my perspective a bit more.

It may be that he never confronts it or develops past where he is now. He will probably die more or less as he is. That's ok.

It's almost like Blue & Orange can have moral compass' as well, surprising? He may be a little neurotic and misguided in some areas but it should be clear to anyone with an ounce of conscious that Ben Shapiro is a good person. It's obvious he doesn't want to hurt anyone. There is a stark difference between him and let's say, a Conservative that was at the Capitol building on Jan 6th.

You have the right idea, now the next step is to pay attention when it doesn't work and picking up on when to move the conversation to a different mood. When banter falls off or doubling down loses it's effect, don't panic and apologize or you'll give her the idea that you're insecure and only hunting for good responses from her. Be cool and back off and give her the space she needs to feel how she wants. Subconsciously you're planting that you're grounded and good with whatever happens, so she'll feel safe with you. If they are self-deprecating you can also bring yourself down to their level as well, and make fun of yourselves that way. Show that you're not taking things seriously.

Not everyone has to support or understand higher stages to still be productive or influential in the world. Intelligence is dynamic, not linear. You're assuming that people ought to owe something, in the way you're orienting your attitude. Green may very well be the next stage and completely necessary, but that doesn't mean it's immune to criticism, even from below. In case you haven't noticed there are progressive and liberals that are as batshit insane and mentally unhinged as confederate flag waving right-wingers.

It sounds like neither of them are "it" for you, so you need to take what you've learned from your experiences with them and move onto find that next girl that does check all the boxes. Why settle?