Roy

What do you mean haha.

I don't know why you're pursuing girls, I wasn't quoting you.

CARRY ON SOLDIER.

Are you trying to get a girlfriend or just closing for sex to get practice? Because you don't have to kiss or make out on the first date if you want a girlfriend, it's not a requirement. A first date can be chill and casual, then you escalate on the second.

A brutal pill you will have to tackle is it mostly being a numbers game. Out of 100 girls you approach you might get 20 numbers, out of those 10 numbers you will get 5 dates, out of those 5 dates 1-2 of them will want to see you again and give you a chance for a relationship. Most people just aren't compatible with each other. You might have sex and do fine in the early stages, but a lot of times it probably won't work past that. Just getting laid is a lot easier than getting laid AND having something stick around. Another thing is being realistic with your standards. The pick-up community tends to preach a delusion about the quality of girls you should do the work on. It's great for building confidence and to have high standards, but you're going to stack the odds against you and severely limit results if you start your journey only going for women out of your league. And even if you get laid you won't be able to hold onto them, which is what you say you want (girlfriend). If you are only going for hot women, don't be surprised when they filter you out among the tons of competition you're facing. You might just not be in the top % of guys yet, that's ok. It takes a long time to develop. In the meantime be honest about where your standards are and don't be too picky. The key to getting a girlfriend is having an interesting life where you are consistently engaged in hobbies, you want to advertise to them "Hey, I'm doing this cool stuff constantly. You're invited to experience it with me if you want." But send that message in a way where you don't need them to come along. Don't feel like an oddball because of your age, I didn't have my first "proper" girlfriend until I was 25, and that part of my life has exploded since then.

Sorry.

These kind of situations are extremely tricky and ripe for abuse and manipulation. Tread lightly and consider yourself warned. I think gestures like this are OK when they are sparse and if someone is legitimately going through an emergency, but watch out for how often it's happening and the reasons behind it. If she keeps asking over and over again, one of the times consciously withhold what she is asking for to test her. Her reaction should reveal a lot about what's really going on.

Reality has divided us in two (male<>female). Both are looking to merge together again and be in union, two pieces of a puzzle trying to complete a picture. The problem is we fundamentally disagree about how those two different pieces are supposed to fit together, and what angle makes the picture. One wants it this way, one thinks its another. So here we are, arguing

Ask higher quality questions, and especially not ones you can easily answer yourself.

Yes they do, and while that purpose may seem noble it's also misguided and stupid. We don't have unlimited freedom, we never have. Nobody can just do whatever they want, there is an ongoing capacity on how we are allowed to behave in society. If you want actual freedom buy a plane ticket and go live in Liberia, I hear it's great there.

You aren't mature or nuanced enough to have this discussion if you think she is conflating violent rape with just being uncomfortable and not being able to say no because of lack of assertiveness. She literally said she felt unsafe and you're invalidating that with your language. Yes it's her responsibility to say "no" verbally, but just because it's the logical answer doesn't make it "simple" in your words. It may not technically be legal rape but just because it doesn't check a box in a courtroom it doesn't take away from her experience of being violated. Yes she consented, but that guy also should have been able to read her signals and come to a point where he asks HER if she wants to have sex. When you're with a woman who is extremely feminine and timid, you have to do a bit of the legwork for her. Too bad. You don't just get to take advantage, and then wave off the fact you're taking advantage because they aren't a good at negotiating. It takes two people to have sex, it's not a binary of one making the decision or the others. You have to discover the boundary together sometimes. It's never "simple". If things were "simple" we wouldn't be having this discussion in the first place. The issue is the word "rape". It does too much legwork. Violated or exploited are better words for the lower end of the rape spectrum.

Yes you can. It might be dangerous if you get caught, but what is stopping you? Who is gonna know what you do in the privacy of your bedroom with someone?

There is the option for us to timeout people from posting for specific periods of time, with or without giving points. However from what I understand once you get 20 total points you are permanently banned from the forum.

Just own it and call yourself whatever you think is appropriate. There is no shame in whatever sexuality you feel (unless you're breaking a law lol). Your self-perception will actually be healthier if you do so and stop caring about what people think. Besides the biggest homophobes and people who judge others sexualities are mostly just projecting and subconsciously doing it to cover up their own closeted desires. There is no reason to listen to them.

I say this with as much love, compassion, and good intention as I can, but there is simply no such thing as "involuntary" celibate. It's a false identity concocted from continually reinforced toxic thought patterns. They are celibate because of their own actions, or in this case lack thereof. They say they try and put in effort but in most cases that's not true, otherwise they would have some sort of results. If you peered into their lives or managed to talk to an Incel that was honest about their circumstances you would see they don't do really much at all to address their issue, or are severely deluded about their own degree of effort. How do I say this so confidently? Well, anybody that has lost their virginity can tell you the level of input and effort needed to do so, and how it's actually not remotely as hard as Incels make it out to be. It's tougher for some people yes, but let's not pretend it's bloody rocket science. Sex is nearly something every single human on the planet has or will experience in their lifetime. Even people with the worst traits, status, and game can get laid, if they lowered their standards enough. Most people are selfish though and severely misjudge their own value in the sexual marketplace. The problem is Incels are so buried in their own bullshit it seems impossible from their point of view, when it's not. Their mentality is the antithesis of self-actualization. They are in many cases actively moving in the direction not of being the best version of themselves, but the worst. It's peak victim mindset, and you can only extend so much love and compassion towards that before they need to hear the truth that will actually help them get out of the hole they are in. It's not like I don't understand or empathize either. I can understand the headspace they are in from my own experiences. I had a reclusive phase where I didn't have sex from September 2011 to June 2016, at the ages where men are typically most active. There are definitely problems in society with hypergamy, feminism, technology, and our culture generally that can negatively impact a person and make it difficult for them. However you can only stretch those points so far before they become excuses. There is really no valid excuse aside from being disabled or ill, even then that doesn't stop people.

It was the first thing you said after quoting me, so it looked like you were making my girlfriends experience analogous to yours that she was also "worn down" into consenting. Apologies, it's hard to interpret intention through text sometimes.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I also don't appreciate the subtle insinuation that I extorted consent out of my girlfriend. You don't know anything about me.

I see your perspective. Most romance (I'd say) goes with sex, but not all sex goes with romance. I think this whole thing would be easier to talk about if everyone was just clear and communicated with each other exactly what they want. A lot of issues come up when that isn't done because a disconnect arises and people don't understand each others intentions, and get confused/angry when they behave in a way they don't expect.

I didn't attempt to paint "all" of them as children, just the ones who don't know when to stop and go home, and look like children as a consequence. Notice how your suspicion and assumption about my possible intentions to paint "all" anti-vax/mandate people as one way or the other is a projection of your own attitude towards the subject being a black and white, us vs them situation. You can try to pull me into your game, good try, but I'm not going to play it. This is irrelevant. Ethnicity has nothing to do with it. It has to do with behavior. I don't care how many of the protesters are hooded black men waving glocks, or fat white rednecks waving .22 caliber rifles, that means nothing to me. What matters is the ideology, what narrative they support, and what actions they are willing to take (or not). There may be some statistical correlation between certain religious/ethnic groups and political identity, but that isn't the factor we need to prioritize. In fact it's kind of useless and just serves as fuel and talking points for racists. Not saying you're racist at all by the way, I assume if you're on this forum you're a well intended person. I'm saying "right-wing" because it's abundantly clear from their talking points and attitudes in on the ground interviews that label is appropriate. I'm not calling them right-wing because the overwhelming majority of them happen to be white lol.

Hey I love romance too ! It's just not where this guy is seems to be at right now based on what he's said.

lol that means nothing. Saying, "I'm on my period" doesn't count as her saying no. You want her to literally say, "We are not having sex right now." THAT is what no means. THEN you hard stop, respect her boundary, and stop pushing for it completely. When she says, "I'm on my period." the only response you should give is "So?" then say you don't mind and you'll use a condom. @Leo Gura I had a girlfriend last year where I spent the night at her place. We were headed to bed, but before we went to sleep I started coming onto her, she said she was too tired to have sex. I said alright that's fine and we tried to sleep. 30 mins went by and we couldn't fall asleep because of the weather (it was summer/noAC) so I started to go down on her and fucked her, she obviously changed her mind without saying anything because she loved it and got her energy back and didn't turn me down at all. As guys it's our responsibility to take initiative and be forward about going after what we want. This doesn't mean get it at ALL costs. You push for boundaries to see where they are set but when you see them, you have the integrity to respect them. The difference between a healthy masculinity and "rapey" vibes is pushing and having the awareness and social skill to recognize where boundaries are and exercising self-control and integrity. As for the second girl @Anon212, it sounds like she wants a relationship and not for you to just pump her and leave. So if you just want one night stands you should show some respect and not waste her time and move on. I don't know exactly what you want though so that's up to you. It sounds like she is giving you a good opportunity for a relationship which means consistent sex, not just spotty times where you may or may not being someone home from a club.

It's certainly a dilemma. If you were 100% radically honest with no filter, it would probably feel really good and freeing in a way. You might find certain people respect you more and will likely lend you there trust more easily. However there are social consequences and costs to being perfectly honest. Not only to yourself but to others. Sometimes it's actually ethical to lie (or withhold information) in order to spare needless suffering, typically around children or in other circumstances where there is nothing to be gained or damage to be caused from the truth. Sometimes in order to advance your own career or interests you will have moments where being honest will damage you, it's inevitable if you want to get anywhere. There is no right or wrong answer I believe, it's way too tricky. It will be up to you to use your own judgement about how you want to live in the world and what costs you value more than others. I recommend you read the book "Lying" by Sam Harris. It covers this topic quite well and it's a short read at less than 100 pages I believe. I have made a commitment sometime ago to be more brutally honest at the cost of protecting my own reputation and the results have actually been positive so far in some respects, I find I am able to connect to people on a deeper level. It also depends on the kind of people you want to attract in life. If you lie all the time and manipulate others, you will fall to have company who also do the same. Conversely if you uphold ethics and being honest at all costs you'll attract people who will see that and also want the same.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. That's the problem with the right-wing leaning freedumb types, they reach and reach and reach and reach and reach into the cookie jar. Then when they finally get their hand slapped they go, "SEEEEEE!!! Look tyranny!" You know who operates under the same mentality? Children. They are upset about the rules, mandates and lockdowns. Maybe things weren't done perfectly, that's a fair criticism, but some sort of position had to be taken, and things were going to suck no matter what to some degree. The reality is if the Conservatives were in charge during this pandemic many many more people would have died, and ironically the responses that would have had to be taken to respond would have damaged the economy more than anything that's been implemented so far. If you study Spiral Dynamics or history in general it won't take long for you to notice things inevitably develop towards the left and NOT the right. That's not a coincidence. It's because left leaning worldviews are fundamentally more holistic and cognitively apt. They are able to have a greater range of things to consider and therefore plan accordingly, even if it's unpopular or counterintuitive.