Roy

Conditions are never going to be perfect. As long as you aren't unstable to the point of having outbursts or hurting people you are fine.

When I was younger I used to naively think that the majority of adults "have it together" and understood reality. Now that I'm getting a bit older it's because increasingly obvious that basically every single person is fucked . We are all just coping in our own way trying to understand why we are here and what to do about it. I think the human condition is one of confusion, panic, and mental illness. Seriously just watch what people do day to day, their habits, and listen to what they say and believe. Insanity is the norm.

Contemplate the meaning of the phrase, "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

What? It's just aliens. This is all interesting to talk about but most of us still have to go to work when we get up in the morning.

Yes they could. That's not what I am getting at though. It's whether or not they are worthy of serious commitment and investment for a long term relationship. The whole point I was bringing up was to warn OP they aren't. It doesn't matter of "real" of a gorilla you are, how much game you have, how much power you think you have, or how good you think things are. It's harder to trust a woman like that and an extreme risk to get married or have a baby with her. They can ruin your life on a whim or impulse. The topic here is important because most people are looking to build a worthwhile relationship. If it was just about having sex then I would say stop giving a fuck about anything about history or integrity, etc. Just blow your load and move onto the next one when you get bored. If you want shallow and no standards then that's what you get.

Online dating is destroying the sexual marketplace and accelerating hypergamy. It's actually a destructive technology to society as far as birth rates go if you think about it, probably causes other issues too. If I ever end my current relationship and have to play the field again, I might just make a fake online profile to troll delusional women. I'll make a huge set of demands and requirements to date me, my pronouns will be "Your Majesty" or "Your Sexiness".

Humans saying things = Yawn. Still no good evidence = Yawn. Until I literally get anal probed............................... repeatedly in a back and forth motion at various speeds by a frisky alien, I don't believe shit about there being aliens or UFOS on Earth. I WANT to believe DESPERATELY, but I still haven't seen anything to raise an eyebrow. How do we have hundreds of millions, possibly billions of HD cameras recording all the time all over Earth and we can't just get one good image or video? It doesn't even have to be 1080p, just not pixels................

Of course nothing personal like that. Any of the questions I suggested.

@Princess Arabia Notice you can even stay on the train tracks of the topic, and go straight to making personal assumptions. If you aren't able to stop doing that I'm just going to assume you don't have anything of substance to say on the matter and I'll leave the thread.

Not only do you know less than jack squat about me, you are being rude to talk as if I'm not here and can't read what you're saying. Wasting an entire paragraph of psychoanalyzing bullshit, instead of addressing what I am saying and providing some sort of counter besides, "What you're saying is just conditioning and I don't like it because blah blah blah." How about using your posts to provide relevant discussion? Like; What have your personal experiences been like? How many successful relationships have you had? What reasons did they succeed or fail? What dynamics have you noticed as a woman yourself? Contemplating why do women like players and not passive men? What makes men and women different? Literally anything than what you're doing right now would be more interesting and productive.

It's not flawed and biased, in fact I'm distancing myself from those traits by just accepting observed human behavior and making distinctions based on evidence and what I notice in reality. And you don't know what place I'm living from so careful with your assumptions. What I say and what I do can be very different things, and be honest you have no idea about anything about me besides inferences you make from my account here. The sky is blue, now back to the weather Tom! Yup you got it exactly right here. Notice how people function more or less believing certain things and not others. I don't even believe in anything anyways, the concept and term are flawed. I am merely an observer and messenger. Usually I spread information to spare others of their precious time and resources.

How is it contradictory when both can be true? It's a double standard, not contradictory. Double standards exist because men and women are not the same (obviously). Some of them are useful (like this one), others not so much.

Not every man, most men. And - everything I've ever learned or experienced about humans Nothing personally. I don't stay up at night over it. Just gives me something to consider.

Because men and women are different, not equal, and asymmetrical. It's not a bad thing when men do it (to a degree). Women love players and reward them for their behavior, they rarely punish them. And if they can sense their man is competent and can get a lot of women, they are attracted to that and feel special when he picks them and commits to them. You can find videos of hundreds of women being asked, would you rather have a man with lots of sexual experience or a virgin? Guess what the answer is most of the time lol.......... Now guess what the answer is when the genders are switched

Precisely. Higher body count for women = lower (perceived) value. Males respond to that value accordingly REGARDLESS of where they are at in their own value. I would put it more truthfully but honestly the reality is too stark and brutal to share in a public conversation.

Any quality man worth their salt and looking for something serious will be considering that in the back of their mind. Even if they don't explicitly ask and don't seem to care, if they infer that their girlfriend is/was promiscuous they will think twice about making a serious commitment to them. It's actually the opposite of what you perceive. It's the low value guys that don't give a rats ass about their partners past. If they know the person they're hooking up with isn't modest they'll just hit it and quit it.

That's normal, but unless you're a teenager it's nigh impossible to find a virgin these days. Have realistic expectations. It does matter when selecting a long term partner to commit to. Don't let anyone gaslight you, women being promiscuous is NOT a good thing. A girl who is reckless with the most valuable thing she has is not signs of a responsible, trustworthy person. Use your judgement accordingly. Eh but you've moved on have you not? You shouldn't be thinking about your ex. They were there for one part of your life, now you're onto the next part. The only thought you should have about them is comfort in that you were the best they had, their loss ! I don't miss any of my ex's and I loved them all. Realize we live in a materialistic culture. It will be difficult to evade that and find traditional girls. Just understand people will have past experiences. Find out whether they are the same person as they were then and if they've grown. Don't judge people too harshly for it, but also know past behavior can be indicative of future behavior and personality.

I didn't watch the video yet, I find Zizek an interesting person. It's nice hearing someone talk about political systems and Eastern worldviews from someone who actually lived in them. It gets kind of patronizing listening to modern Marxist Americans talk about all these things from the comfort of growing up in Western Capitalism where they've never gone hungry a day in their life. It's more informative to hear things straight from the horses mouth rather than from some adversary or analyst.

When a girl says stuff like this it's an invitation/warning, "I want you to take me, but don't make me wait too long or I'll leave."

I know it's EXACT thing that little voice in the back of your head doesn't want to hear lol, but the best thing you can do is take 100% initiative to have sex with her and communicate your lack of experience. Don't do it in a way to make her feel pity. Just say, "My behavior was like this because this is where I am at, plain and simple." Look her in the eyes and communicate it in a direct way. I would say it during undressing to build intimacy and show some vulnerability. Opening yourself up like that actually communicates STRENGTH because it shows you aren't afraid of taking a hit. Any girl that's worthwhile understands this and won't make fun of you or rub it in your face. It will make them trust you and more attracted. I don't know this girl so I don't know how she will react, but I do know for sure she WILL leave you if you do nothing and don't take her and fuck her. If she is willing to kiss you, she is willing to have sex with you. It's just a matter of setting up a date where you can be alone somewhere together. Have a romantic evening/night set up that leads to it. I know the insecurity feels really strong, but you need to dive through it. Like jumping into water. Just pretend like you know what you are doing honestly. Once you are in the water you'll find it isn't that cold and you can swim better than you thought.

There is no way around it but you need to have sex to build a strong intimate connection. There is really no better way to communicate love and build physical trust with each other.

Maybe not for you, but it is for the OP, which is why he made the post. Emotions don't have to be rational.

It's not about what she SAYS about the new guy (not being satisfied etc.), it's about the ACTION of her having found gone out and found someone new while he hasn't, up until this point. Don't focus on what they talk about, because that's all a smokescreen. Watch what they DO and their BEHAVIOR. "Actions speak louder than words."

1. Use some paragraphs, jesus christ. 2. She literally cheated on him with you and is double dipping, getting the companionship and boyfriend status from him, but lusting for sex and intimacy she got when she hooked up with you again. She has no integrity and doesn't know what she wants. 3. Like most women her age, she is about as emotional stability as an Iraqi government. Unable to be honest and communicate to her boyfriend what she really needs. 4. You can do better, and ARE better (minus the sleeping with her when she's seeing someone for months, that's not good man.) You need to delete her from all media and never contact her again. Actually make a commitment to being broken up. Don't see her again. 5. The reason it feels off is because there is a fundamental jealousy that we all know it's 100x easier for women to get into relationships than a man. Most girls have guys trying to get with them all the time, waiting on the bench. It's just a matter of her keeping them waiting until there is an opportunity. Women typically don't have the emotional fortitude to go through a breakup and take time to reflect on themselves, so they cope by letting the orbiter into their DM's and fuck him by the end of the week. Usually their girlfriends are blowing smoke up their ass that nothing is wrong with them, and encouraging her to go out drinking and clubbing and all the other distractive nonsense. A girl (if she wants) won't have to go longer than a month being single after a relationship, while a guy could have to wait literally months or YEARS before connecting with someone else. This is just the game. I had an ex dump me, I moved across the country. Then she kept messaging to use me for emotional support after she realized all the new guys she was hooking up with weren't half as solid and mature as I was. My professional advice to you is do the hard thing. Wipe her from your electronic and personal life and focus on yourself for some time. Never get back with someone you broke up with, because you saw the warning signs. You also have first hand experience knowing she isn't worth completely trusting, and if she was willing to string that guy along to leech some benefits off him, don't think she wouldn't do the same thing to you. She is never yours, it's just your turn.

Don't make it a bigger deal than it has to be. Just be respectful and say, "Oh I didn't know, sorry!" and walk away.