Roy

Cheating is childish and disgusting behavior. There is not any rationalization that exists to justify it. People do it because they are selfish/too emotionally immature to communicate to their partner and they don't have the guts to break up. If you want to sleep with someone else that's fine, but end your current relationship first.

Here is my foundational advice for you. Look at it this way man; Listen to men's advice if you want to know how to start a relationship. Listen to women's advice if you want to know how to maintain a relationship. Attraction Phase =/= Relationship Phase. They are two completely separate things where your strategy and behavior operates completely differently. Women don't understand this because they get to bypass the Attraction Phase completely, it doesn't exist from their POV and experience. That's why Emeralds advice seems frustrating to you. Once you get that girlfriend though and you are both committed to each other, her advice is amazing for keeping things healthy. I've been following this basic principles for 5 years and my sex/love life has been nothing but dandy. I've never had a bad break-up or awful experience yet with women in their 20's, 30's or 40's.

I've... never... been... able... to... tell... if... this... guy... is... trolling... or... not.........

Just out of curiosity, what work did you have to do to initiate those relationships besides just saying, "yes that sounds like fun" when those guys walked up to you and asked you out?

Sam is an extremely and probably overly logical person. Antinatalism is pretty logical. Seems inevitable.

You "manage" your feelings by letting them happen and not avoiding them. Let it process and try and focus on work/school for the next few weeks. You'll start to feel better and you'll realize your life was fine before you knew her, and it will be fine after. You can't control people, you've gotta live your own life and do your own thing. Be your own foundation.

In my opinion the way to reduce "toxic masculinity" to it's simplest explanation is abuse of power. Men generally have more power than women (especially historically). They are physically more powerful, create more power for themselves in society/culture, and inherit more power in the world in various ways. In most of the ways "toxic masculinity" appears, a man is abusing the power they have in some way that is exploitative, reckless, greedy, etc. A typical and easy to grasp example is a ridiculously buff guy with a small girlfriend/wife. She might feel really attracted to his ability to protect her and make her feel safe, but if he starts using that power to physically abuse or intimidate her, that's turning a traditionally masculine trait into something unhealthy/toxic.

@StarStruck You've been working pretty hard at this stuff for a while now. Are you achieving what you want in this domain? Have you had some good experiences with women and gotten with any of the ones you liked? I'm curious to know your progress.

"But he is just different!"

While that may be true and one redeeming quality from an otherwise unfathomably destructive path in life, it's an irrelevant misdirection from my statement. The Nazis thought they had it all figured out and could play God, and look how that worked out. A lot of people are just as arrogant as the Nazis were, but in reality are fucking idiots and have no idea what they are doing. Which is exactly why they shouldn't be given the capacity or responsibility to decide who (or what) gets to live or die..... It's those who are the most self-assured that shouldn't be handed the keys to the kingdom. It's not a coincidence the wisest people don't want anything to do with that kind of responsibility. That's why there are good no politicians. The best among us are living quiet peaceful lives away from all the non-sense human bullshit.

The stakes aren't as high as you think. You need to learn to chill out and stop taking it so damn seriously, THAT is what will help you the most. Even when you start getting results you'll realize having sex and getting girlfriends is just "nice". It's not the most important thing in life. You were ok before, you are ok now, and you'll be ok later! By not caring so hard you will counter-intuitively attract results and find things easier. It doesn't mean you have to be so care-free you are an emotionless drone, but care-free enough that you can just let things flow.

I'm 30 and my girlfriend is 47 ..... and guess what nobody cares! It's like 1/10 people that will act appalled. Who gives a shit what people think anyways? Fuck em'! Honestly she is more fit and sexy than any girl in their 20's I've been with (and I've had some nice ones). Minimal sexual history, adventurous enough to do anything with me like rock climbing or bushwhacking, and willing to break the law if it means a bit of fun. Has actual life experience, values and wisdom so it doesn't feel like I'm talking to a piece of toast like most women. She has real goals and interests instead of the typical "watch The Office reruns, travel, and go out drinking every friday night hehehe". And most importantly doesn't have any souvenirs (AKA kids)! I couldn't ask for more! My advice is try and open yourself up to a wider range of experiences and people dude. Don't let judgement hold yourself back from something good. Life isn't that long. I wouldn't have found her or been open to having such a great partner if I didn't drop the stupid stigmas and social matrix.

Since the start of 2023, I've lately found myself increasingly frustrated at the daily stupidity I encounter in the world (from humans). Traffic - People being incapable of following simple rules or outright ignoring them because they think they are more important, endangering others in the process. Why are licenses not reserved for skilled drivers only? How come the majority of the population can get them when they are slow and uncoordinated? Ignorance - People saying stupid shit online, in media, and real life. Being unashamedly biased. Deliberately not attempting to understand the other side. Consciously avoiding basic facts because they are emotionally uncomfortable with reality. I can let this slide most of the time because I don't want to make a scene, but sometimes I just want to stop people mid conversation and shock them by saying, "Hey, are you aware of how fucking braindead you are? Have you ever considered you are wrong about anything in your life?" Laziness/Mistakes - People chronically fucking up at work or in other ways. Not having standards for quality. Not considering other people exist. Not learning from their mistakes or making an attempt to improve. Story - A few months ago I was sent to pick-up a lady at her apartment. She was called by my co-worker and informed I would be arriving in roughly 10 minutes. I got to her apartment expecting to pick her up at the front, she wasn't there. A few minutes went by I thought, "oh she is just running late I'll wait." another 15 minutes went by and nothing. I called my co-worker again and asked her to call her. She then came down finally...... She said she was waiting INSIDE her apartment for me. As if I SOMEHOW would have access to a locked building that I've literally never been too, and would OMNISCIENTLY know what apartment number she is in and would come knocking on her door. I had to be professional and not say anything obviously, but in my head I was laughing/crying at how unbelievably dumb this woman was. As if she has no comprehension of the concept of what it means to be picked up, or consideration for another persons time. Like really how did she survive to adulthood like this? And she had a child too which means she reproduced and there will probably be another person like her eventually......... wow. Those are just some examples, I understand I was being toxic in them as well but I find it necessary to express myself. I also get I'm probably projecting to deflect from my own stupidity and selfishness, but the thing is I'm actively trying to purge my own imperfections and become an outstanding human that people depend on and offers stuff to the world. I want to hold myself to high standards and minimize the mistakes in my life. Despite what you see on this forum (which is an "altered" version of myself you could say). The thing is I'm actually a very calm, kind, easy-going person in real life. I get told this by everyone. However my genuine demeanor and spirit gets interrupted by this frustration bubbling up sometimes. I feel like over the years I'm slowly boiling from all the idiocy I encounter. I want to let things go more often, but as I improve as a human I find myself less patient with others not improving. I am becoming more brash, snapping more, and willing to be emotionally sharp and cold with people in my life. Perhaps this is par for the course? I'm not sure someone would have to tell me. All I know is that it doesn't feel good or optimal.

I think the guys that are angry about it are mad about the fact they have to trade time/labor/skill for their money, while sex work (OnlyFans/Online) for women is basically free money by virtue of being born pretty. The investment of make-up/effort to get dressed and take a few pictures/videos is probably less than a 20th of the effort of grinding minimum wage at McDonalds or wherever. It's a low consciousness judgement of other low consciousness people, because you swap men for that position and 90% of them will do the same thing. Most people wouldn't hesitate to take the path of least resistance and free resources. Hell, even hard working developed people are aiming for that. The entire economy and idea of "investing" and owning property to rent out to people is a pyramid scheme hoping that you can one day sit back and relax while your "money makes you money" lmao.

Don't believe anything they say at face value, look at how they behave with you. Remember that online dating or any sort of thing with a "profile" is a place where people use marketing for themselves and contort the truth/lie about their intentions, consciously or unconsciously. Brutal, straight forward, perfect honesty pretty much doesn't exist, because 99% of people are lying (to some degree) and pure honestly is scary to -people and burns right through their bullshit. It's like sunlight to a vampire. All relationships, marriages, dating, hook-ups, intimate encounters are a dance of misdirection's, manipulations, white lies, untruth, and mystery to get the other person interested. You do this back and forth dance until a foundation of truth is established and you can lift the act bit by bit.

Abortion may be necessary but it's still degenerate. And watch out @LSD-Rumi the Nazis subscribed to the same line of reasoning.

It's probably an evolutionary thing that it worked out this way. Females have inherit important value of being able to bear children and continue the species, while men are in contrast expendable. A women can only get pregnant and have a limited number of healthy children in her lifetime (that she can reasonably take care of). While a man can if under the correct circumstances, impregnate multiple women a day. It's just math really, reality isn't personal. I get you though. It's not hard to be jealous of a pretty girl. They get to coast through life and live on recruit mode.

If it's something low cost like coffee/snacks just go with the flow, no reason to insist on splitting. However if it's dinner or something more substantial and the bill comes, look right at the host and say "we'll split it." Don't break from that frame or make it a question that puts the pressure on her. Most women want men to make decisions on behalf of the couple anyways, and if she is toxic and was hoping you'd pay for a meal with no intentions of seeing you again you dodged a bullet and saved some money. This isn't 1955 anymore, a man shouldn't be expected to pay. I set good boundaries on this in every relationship I'm in. I've literally never had a fight with any girlfriends about money before. I make it clear we both contribute financially to the relationship exactly 50% each or as close as possible. That way it never becomes an issue that could corrupt the relationship. When I lived with my first girlfriend we would sit down once a month for 20 minutes, get some tea and cuddle on the couch, and calculate everything so we could see if either one of us owed money to the other person.

lmao if you can't see what everyone else does there is no evidence I can provide to convince you otherwise, so your question is a non-starter for me, sorry. It will be like trying to convey to a fish they are in water. By the way it's not like I have an axe to grind either. When intellectually cornered and at the core of my spirit I'm likely more progressive than 9/10 people, I just differ on some specific issues and semantics. Enjoy your night, cheers.

The Westboro Bapist Church equivalent of progressives have all the power and influence in culture right now, of course there is going to be backlash. Regular people don't want bullshit ideologies put in their face to be force-fed. Of course violence isn't acceptable or to be lauded, but it's par for the course when going through such fundamental change.

It's because the passage of time has humbled what they have been able to get away with up to that point. A bombshell 10/10 20 year old girl knows exactly where they stand in the dating market and can only be contained and locked down by an older guy with ridiculous game, social status, and probably wealth. Any guy attempting to get with her knows they are competing in a gauntlet, so they'll put up with a LOT of shit from her so she doesn't leave.

lol technology and social media has made us so autistic that it's now considered "unethical" by most people to talk to people you don't know. I hate how cliché it is, but it really does feel like we are the modern Romans, and we are watching our civilization deteriorate in real time.

I'm glad it works for you I really am, but be careful hyping up substances too much. A lot of people are desperate and (their ego) will see it as a replacement and magic pill in place for real work that needs to be done. Window dressing for a rotten building.

@Hardkill You'd be surprised there are a handful of girls who are just horny and ovulating all the time, and well... sex just feels good! My girlfriend is like 17 years older than me and has a higher sex drive somehow. I thought I liked to fuck a lot