Rhia

@Yimpa Yes. I agree, it's just that I don't really have the resources for repeated trial and error. The last therapist helped a lot through CBT, and I managed to put most aspects of my life. There were some events I was unable to talk about either due to partial blackouts or because of the depth of the trauma and the linked emotions, whilst not being in a situation where I can afford to just stay at home for healing my traumas. No time for me talk breakdowns in other words. The therapist said that for living a complete or functional life it's not a must to bring to the surface each and every event (I was able to write about them, not to speak to her though), as your mind buries them for a reason; mist of the time the reason is that it's too much to handle. My question is not really related to the credibility of psychology or modern therapy, or whether my previous therapist were useful/professional. The thing is, I am still leading a life in which I cannot afford to stay at home for weeks just to take care of my traumas, so I'd rather choose an approach that keeps my emotions manageable. Ie. if I am going to have nightmares for months just because I am meditating, I'd rather not, thank you. If it's a short term inconvenience that can be managed and it's normal, I will have another approach again. All depends... So the question is if it's normal, if it's manageable and how?

Well, I restarted meditation, only 10 minutes a day. On the very day I started, I also started to have some disturbing dreams related to a person who caused lots of trauma to me in my early life, but I thought that those matters were more or less done after 2 years of therapy. Since then, I keep having disturbing dreams of the same theme, same person, and I am not sure if it's the right idea to continue, or continue the same way. Is it something natural that everyone would go through, or is there something to be changed?

@Average Investor Thank you for the answer. Part of it was indeed a vent, but it all annoyed me so much, because it is not the first case I bump into this, so I started to raise my eyebrows and question myself; is it me? Is it the place (I didn't have it before at other places)? Am I misreading people? The friend was rather an acquaintance, we hardly ever talked about personal stuff, but in business he seemed reliable (again, I have mistranslated something). what you said is all very useful. Basically what didn't come through in my post is that I am blaming myself, because I didn't notice the direction it was all going, and I may have been extremely naive. Or he thought I was. It is more comforting to think he is simply a bad leader, and that wouldn't put me in the light of a blind, naive person. Hope you are right. Thank you again

So I understand that we have started a conversation here regarding the definition of good and bad. I am curious though if there are values that appear throughout the entire world and all people think the same about it regardless to their religion/non-religion, social/financial status? Are there such taboos or imperatives?

As long as God is the creator, he is the Source. As long as he is the source, the creator, even evil originates from him, so if we accept that he is infinitely good (infinity is his existence), such a thing as pure evil or pure good, does not exist. Anything goes justifies anything and everything. It's like cutting God into half and saying this part is OK, this has to be completely forgotten.

Hello there; I would like to reflect on this dual world view that I found here. First, to understand your answer better, you should reason why the question is of survival, and how it is falsehood. You build the entire chain on statements that you do not support with any further explanation, so it is difficult to exactly interpret what's written above. I have not claimed I want to avoid evil, as I said, it might be exactly the opposite, as what postulates as evil on one side that might be a value on the other one, and may have totally different meanings on many others. Further, any and all living creatures are intrinsically motivated to survive, which, in your interpretation is evil, therefore all our actions are evil except for those that are not directed to survival. That is very few. I agree although (and I wonder if this is what you meant), rules are created to make survival easier, rules are created to make us safer - every single rule has significance in social networks, I could hardly ever found one which has only one function; to make you better. Are there any rules if you are alone on an empty planet? No. Rules are created to exist together and make sense only if we exist together. Therefore all rules (moral codes, and their cement, values) are pointing towards society, survival. In this system, our simple existence shall be evil, and we must give up our need to exist - this is against our nature, and all laws of nature, simply the way this world exists. Surrendering survival? - I am not sure I understand you, please explain. "See, "morality" is something the evil ego uses to create a smokescreen to distract from its own fundamental selfishness." - The question is not really this. The question is if in this "smokescreen" there is anything that appears everywhere as universal? Yes or no? Anything goes? - I reject that. Simply. You cannot reject anything and everything. I found your answers being full of contradictions, so I am asking you to clarify a couple of points if you find the time for that.

Due to my profession, I have gone through tons of literature on how humane values are created and perceived in different cultures, and I have found some of them being more prevalent than others in various geographical locations, and I started to wonder if these are inseparable from human nature and universal values, or it a historical impact of the meeting of cultures (still interesting how certain ideas are more likely to be picked over the others even dating back to before the appearance of any monotheistic religions - murder and stealing is wrong in most cultures, soul is separable from the body and is connected to higher entities, incest is wrong, and so on). Some values are highly variable depending on culture and location, some are present and strong almost everywhere. So the question here - are there universal values that necessarily present and are higher than others, and if so, do we have the right to consider them as a global moral code?

Hello Everyone, I would like to hear your opinion about a specific case that triggered generic questions. The attitudes described here may seem weird, but don't imagine a US or European environment however, I don't want to provide the geographic location not to violate anyone giving space to unnecessary speculation. I start with the actual question, and below the Italics, you find the story itself in case you need the context. So there are people who 1., state to give in unselfish manners but then it turns out that they consider it an investment simply (so they violate the original deal). How do you filter without running with the person on the same tracks for months (sometimes years) just to realize the mind game? 2., at the end, they are willing to take more or different from what they have "invested" - how to be still fair and keep the balance (equal give and take)? - Do you have to keep your part of a deal, if they violated theirs? Is there such an obligation? Do you have obligations towards those who didn't comply? 3., use the work and efforts of others in subtle and hideous ways to show off as if it was all their own merit - how to protect your own progress, efforts, and results as your own, remaining a giving, kind person, not violating your own standards or personality (not becoming a paranoid a-hole)? How do you pick the right cherry? The story: Recently a work acquaintance was helping me, giving lots of help related to my work claiming that it is all unselfish, despite I asked him several times what is the deal here. Each time he answered that there is no deal, the business opportunities come along are just enough. I found it a little weird, but to keep the balance (and thinking he was giving a "hint" regarding business opportunities), I tried to evolve a business relationship between him and my company, which went wonderfully for about 6 months, until my boss pulled out from it but he never explained why (it should have been a red flag!). When COVID19 struck, I started to search for temporary jobs online. My friend offered me to work in the company he was involved in for the time being, but he never clarified his role, he said it was the business of "equals" (seemingly some are indeed more equal than others). I have been working part-time in social media for a long time, and this guy was asking me tons of questions, stating that he does not know anything about the topic, and he needs someone who does. He was also asking for my marketing plans, business plans, ideas, opinions, so on, but I did not consider this wrong, as before he provided me loads of help that were invaluable for my work, so I felt things were in balance. I started to work in the company he was involved in, but quickly I found myself doing a lot more than originally agreed; all the graphic designs, communication with the customers, coordination with teachers (we organized online training sessions), plus preparing for my own lessons, doing and planning the campaigns for all other instructors, (and I will get paid only for my own courses and the designs), plus I came out with ideas that the company is still running and making money by... It turned out that my "friend" knew everything better, and we quickly started to have daily arguments, because he ran into and tried to push through trivial mistakes (technical know-how) trying to keep the illusion of being in control, being the decision-maker (he tried to give the impression to everyone, that he is having the upper hand in terms of position AND knowledge, and the latter one actually blew my mind). He asked for updates several times a day often with 20 minutes of difference (obviously in work group chat), constantly called, messaged, many times he called at 10 pm to enquire about one thing and started with the same thing early in the morning, so I started to deflect all, as he clearly overwhelmed me, and when I told him so, he pushed even more, which was completely out of his character I knew previously (which tells me he kept pretending something he wasn't for almost a year - am I misreading?). Eventually, I came to know that he was "advertising" himself as the brain of the company and he is the one doing everything around, and he calls himself the marketing manager. Even until today I don't have the slightest idea what he was actually doing in terms of work other than keep getting in my face. Lucky me I didn't leave my original company when he was suggesting... I feel overthrown because he stated to have been giving for no benefits, he was taking back unfairly, and showed up results as his own that clearly weren't on his merits. I feel used and so silly. I have known this person for a year, and he was deluding me for about 11 months and showed his real face in just 1. This is scary. I believe this is vampirism.

Thank you

Thank you a lot. This is helpful now

Hello to all. I hope my thread does not violate community guidelines, if I am in wrong, moderators, please correct. What is the right thing here for self development, for learning and to keeping dignity? I have been working for an organisation for a while but the line manager turned out to be narcissistic, and however I have lots of ideas how to make it work, and tried to reconcile with the boss for a while, I have no chance to bring my true potential out due to being excessively exhausted and overstressed by the abuse (threats, insults, yelling, belittling) received on a daily basis. Recently I stood up to my boss, brought his faulty actions in front of the management (he also agitated against them) and his answer was narcissistic rage against me, whereas he promised to kick me out from the company. Since then I shifted to another department, but he gave an ultimate to the management to leave if I stay in the company, although we don't work with eachother anymore. He yelled into my face stating that his purpose is to kick me out (which he has very little chance for, so my question *does not* involve asking for advice on how to keep my job). Now, how to turn this extremely low situation into something good (the department of his keeps generating loss that he is blaming me for), without violating ethical standards and harming others (such as him, which due to his ultimate looks inevitable). I consider myself a highly conscious person, but time to time I lose my control over my words (not actions), when being intimidated. Thank you in advance for all future inputs.