“Reality is what we take to be true.
What we take to be true is what we believe. What we believe is based upon our perceptions.
What we perceive depends on what we look for.
What we look for depends on what we think.
What we think depends on what we perceive.
What we perceive determines what we believe.
What we believe determines what we take to be true.
What we take to be true is our reality.”

David Bohm

Hello Actualized community, 
Some of you might remember me from a long time ago when I was just beginning to awaken, and I contributed some of my knowledge and tried my best to help the community with these subjects. I purposely stayed away from this forum and Leo's videos to dig deeper into awakening, god, reality, whatever you want to call it. 
I'll be speaking with a relative "I" — before anyone frets. 
I've had 80+ awakenings in the span of a year. I have been spiritually gifted since I was a kid, without even knowing it, but I seem to have a pretty easy time creating the experiences that lead to awakenings. There were periods where I had multiple awakenings in a single week, and the majority were NOT drug induced. I made sure to always write down the revelations that I learned and I am ready to share them with you all.
I had experiences where I was literally sucked out of the scene I was in and thrown into an empty void of pure light, love light. 
I am going to make this short and sweet. This is meant to help you awaken quickly. 
Before I start though, you're going to have to accept some shocking truths, so before you read this, please open your mind. Trust in what I am telling you here. I have personally verified every single thing I am about to share.
I will refer to God as "That which cannot be spoken" — as the word God is a bit silly.
1. You don't have a face. Notice for yourself, that you feel like you are located above your neck, but notice that instead of your face, you have a huge open window. This open window is your view of the world. Instead of your head, you have the world. The world is your mind. But it's not your physical mind, somehow inside a brain. No, no, no..... your mind is absolute and is shared with everything else.
Prove it to yourself. Try to locate your head, and point to your face. At no point does it reach you. There's nothing there. Instead, you have colors, sounds, thoughts, feelings, touch, etc. The entire room in which you are right now is a "part" of your head. 
Your head is the godhead. It is completely empty, is nothingness, yet it exists. 
2. Reality is a moving painting. The colors, sounds, smells you are experiencing are NOT the byproduct of your brain. I repeat. They are NOT a product of your brain. There is no light going into your "eyes" (you have no eyes, or face) — there is no brain to turn audiowaves into music. 
When you hold an apple, you think that you are seeing the redness of the apple in your brain, but notice that you aren't looking at anything.
The apple is existing, IN your consciousness. It is BEING inside of your head. You are not seeing it through no mechanism. Reality is RAW and you are compressed into it and through it.
When you see the red of the apple (unlike science which says that colors only exist in brains) what you are experiencing is what Gnostics call The Truth.
Sounds, colors, smells, feelings, thoughts. – THAT IS OBJECTIVE REALITY.
You get it? You aren't hearing or seeing at all, because reality appears 1:1 instantly in the screen of your consciousness, which is that void that we talked about.
3. Close your eyes. Realize that when you close your eyes, that dark field is really you. You are the entire dark field in which reality appears. When you close your eyes you cannot locate yourself. You just see an endless void of darkness with no edges or divisions. This is what you would call your soul.
Your head is a projector.
The colors you see are not happening in a brain, because the brain would need to have a physical screen upon which the colors are looked at. They have to exist in some way for your visual field to appear. Therefore this is false. No brain.
4. Is Solipsism true? No. Other people ARE in fact conscious as they are other *instances* of yourself in a parallel timeline being imagined by consciousness simultaneously. 
REMOVE the idea that only your individual ego is having a conscious experience. Drop it. IT'S NOT TRUE. Other people are as conscious as you, but because THEY ARE YOU.
Other people are other POVs that "That which cannot be spoken of" is creating and animating through its presence.
The entire universe is like a program running in the mind of this unknowable conscious being. Your life is a program, my life is a program.
We are divine expressions of that being who is on an eternal quest to understand what it is, and it cannot do it without your point of view, because reality would be finite without your existence.
4. Is this being knowable? No. And please don't refute this with "But awakenings!" — "That which cannot be spoken of" is completely out of reach and is the literal bedrock of existence. It does not have a subjective experience like you and I do. It's asleep forever. 
Any awakenings you may have, are a connection to its SPIRIT, not its mind, as its mind is busy imagining everything.
5. Is there an objective reality? Yes. Even thought the entire universe is the dream of this being that is asleep, it exists, but not physically. The universe is all mind. But yes, there ARE people doing other things outside of your POV. It is all happening simultaneously, and through relativity.
But those people ARE you. Just in other avatars for that lifetime. Other people exist, and your ego is not alone in the universe.
You are at all times surrounded by infinite copies of yourself.
6.  Ghosts, demons, gnomes, fairies, and all other mythical creatures are real. I have verified this myself through multiple instances where I communicated with extra-real entities.
7. Magic is real. That's right. Magic IS MIND. Magic is reality. Magic is the power that was required to bring this dream into being.
———————
Reality is NOT a simulation, NOT solipsism, NOT eternal suffering, NOT physical, NOT awful, NOT evil.
Reality IS a gift, IS a moving painting of pure light, IS magic, IS mystical in origin, and IS eternal.
———————
I cannot express to you the absolute truth because I cannot communicate the experiences I've had, as they are ineffable. But trust me on the following:
Solipsism is false There is no infinity of Gods, this is another trap. There is only ONE being who makes infinite copies of itself to embody avatars in its dream. They aren't separate gods.  Reality is, again, a moving painting, and the painter is a being that is "asleep" and dreaming the entire universe up. Reality was NOT created. It ALWAYS was. Colors, sounds, feelings, thoughts are objective reality. The apple is really red. Water is really wet. You aren't seeing anything. Objects are existing in you. Your visual field is a window or a negative sculpture. There is no actual "you" anywhere specifically. Rather, you are the entire visual field, and all the content inside of it.  Hope that helps.
 
 
 

I just finished reading the book “How Fascism Works”
And I wanted to share the main components of Fascism… mostly because it can be important to spot these warning signs.
And most people don’t know the full scope of what Fascism entails when asked to define it.
Humanity has had 49 genocides in the past 50 years. So, education is one of the best preventatives.
So, here are the components of Fascism…
The Mythic Past - Fascists believe in an idealized mythic past for their nation. And they view ethnicity and nation as the primary identity. And with the Mythic Past, it’s the notion that WE used to be great… but then THEY came along and destroyed OUR greatness. And WE will defeat THEM and be great again. Propaganda - It’s difficult to sell hatred and genocide to the majority of people. So, they cloak the goals of ethnic cleansing and genocide in idealistic propaganda. They might sell their movement as necessary for achieving popular goals like freedom. Anti-Intellectual - In Fascism, the the Mythic Past is the foundation. But this myth is an idealized and untrue imagining of the past. And so, this puts Fascism directly at odds with expertise and higher education. So, it is common for Fascists to spread the notion that institutions of higher learning are propaganda machines that are designed to undermine the “truth” of the Mythic Past. Unreality - Dovetailing off the last point… reality and truth is very threatening to Fascism because Fascism is rooted in myth. So, the Fascist must go to war with truth itself to preserve that myth. And so empiricism is something Fascist movements seek to undermine. They try to simultaneously give the sense that there is no such thing as truth… just differing opinions… while also claiming that their mythos is the only truth. It depends on which suits them in the moment. Hierarchy - Fascism subscribes to the notion of absolute hierarchies to justify inequalities. It has the notion that WE are superior to THEM based mostly off of the mythic foundation. Though Fascists might also use cherry-picked science and use Social Darwinism to add a more rational facade to their emotional attachment to the belief in absolute hierarchy. And this gets used as the justification for why WE get to exploit/harm/kill THEM.  Victimhood - A big part of Fascist propaganda is the convince the dominant ethnic group that they are victims or potentially victims of minority ethnic groups. So, Fascism constructs collective victim narratives about how the other groups are stealing all the jobs, leeching off the system… and pillaging and raping… and otherwise degrading the society.  Law and Order - Dovetailing off of the victim narrative constructed in Fascism, there is also the promise to “restore” law and order and end the victimization caused by THEM. And this is typically one of the selling points of paternalistic authoritarian Fascistic leaders to say “Hey… you may not agree with some of my views. But you need me to take control to protect you from THEM” Sexual Anxiety - The notion of the patriarchal familial ideal is central to the Fascistic mythos where the authoritarian father rules over the land, and the man rules over his wife and children. And the notion of absolute hierarchy also comes into play with this. So, one of the ways to malign THEM is to spread narratives that the men of the other ethnicities/nationalities are savage rapists looking to defile OUR pure unspoiled women. This also comes with an underlying fear of OUR women preferring THEIR men and spoiling the bloodline with miscegenation. Rural over Urban (Sodom and Gomorrah) - Fascism tends to present its rhetoric as very pro-rural and very anti-urban. This is because cities are more cosmopolitan and diversity is the norm there. And that weakens people’s susceptibility to Fascist rhetoric against THEM. But in rural areas, there are very many of US and very few of THEM. And it becomes easier to malign THEM to people who don’t interact much with THEM. So, Fascist rhetoric presents cities as cesspools of miscegenation and degeneracy. And the false notion is floated that the funding for cities comes primarily out of the pockets of those in rural areas (often framed as a handout for THEM), when in fact the opposite is the case as tax dollars taken in from cities tend to flow outward. Arbeit Macht Frei - Arbeit Macht Frei means “Work shall set you free” in German. And this motto was on the signage of many concentration camps. In Nazi Germany, one of the reasons they gave for rounding up Jews is the notion that Jews have lots of money that they didn’t properly work for and essentially stole from the hard-working German people. This rhetoric eventually became the rationale for why Jews needed to be sent to labor camps. So, a lot of Fascist rhetoric frames the situation as THEY are getting special handouts and privileges that THEY didn’t work for, while WE got everything by the merits of OUR work and the sweat of OUR brow. And there is also a push to punish THEM for stealing from US. I hope this is helpful to all who want to learn about Fascism.

That would indicate to me that the polarities weren’t really integrated.
This process of integration of feminine and masculine is subtractive not additive.
It’s about dropping resistance to both energies and allowing what naturally comes and not letting ideas and identities get in the way.
And for most men, that’s going to be mostly Yang/masculine energy with some Yin/feminine energy.
If there was the idea that you have to make yourself act more feminine or somehow get a 50/50 balance of both, this is not integration. The mind can’t do the integration. It can only step out of the way.
It’s about allowing the natural dance of Yin and Yang to happen within you and not micro-managing it with the logic-mind’s notions of masculine/feminine.
And this internal dance produces lots of libidinal energy that can be channeled in a variety of different ways.

The root cause of it is the polarization into the masculine side to the exclusion of the feminine side.
The entirely of humanity (including women) has this issue collectively.
But men are particularly susceptible to this polarization because they are taught that in order to be valid, the have to live up to certain standards of masculinity.
And with this pressure, men try to be more masculine and they try to suppress the feminine in them. And they become ashamed of the feminine in themselves.
So, the shamed feminine side goes into their Shadow. 
And this creates an intense disgust toward the feminine. But it also manifests as an intense longing for the feminine.
There is the part of them that wants to resist the feminine at all costs. And there’s a part of them that wants to integrate the feminine at all costs.
But the kicker is this…
All of this dynamic gets played out externally.
And they project their rejected feminine side onto women. And women become so powerful in men’s eyes for this reason. She represents his rejected feminine side.
And so she becomes the demon angel up on the pedestal, judging male worth.
And object of intense desire…. But with the power to bring about intense shame.
And this can snowball too…
Men reject their feminine side to meet masculine expectations and avoid shame. And they see women as the arbiter that can either redeem or condemn them through acceptance or refusal to integrate (which is interpreted externally as having sex).
And so men respond to this by further polarizing into the masculine and rejecting the feminine… which intensifies the projection and the perception of women’s power.
And me respond to this by polarizing into the masculine and rejecting the feminine…. And so on and so on.
So, the solution is to integrate the feminine side. It’s counterintuitive, but it is the only way to stop projecting tons of power onto women.

I could be a lot more developed.
I feel the pain from my lack of development every day.
Good!
Well, there's a lot you could do, but in a nutshell I would boil it down to this:
1) First, prime your mind with reading and studying a wide array of sources and perspectives, like by reading the sources in my book list and watching my videos. You need some basic theory as grist for your contemplation mill.
2) Then, after some years you will have a solid theoretical foundation and the real work can begin. Now you stop reading and learning theory, and you start doing serious contemplation. 1000s of hours of thinking everything through for yourself and deriving every answer for yourself from scratch from first principles and direct experience.
3) And then you turn your attention to observing your ego-mind at work, and become a master of your own self-deception and egoic reactions.
You don't have to complete one step before doing the others. In practice you should be intermixing them.
Of course practices like meditation and psychedelics become really important after a while.
Perhaps most importantly, have an insatiable curiosity and passion for understanding reality at the deepest levels, and never settle for beliefs or the words of humans. That's really my only secret. All I do is just rentlessly pursue pure understanding by derviving all of it for myself from direct experience and intuition. This is what I've called Pure Philosophy.
The doing of Pure Philosophy leads to the highest wisdom. That's it. See my episode: An Intro To Serious Philosophy. That's my process.

I finally broke through. I dumped the entire pull of dmt into my puffo peak pro .. You guys have no idea how infinite potentiality works.... oh my fucking godddd.... 
You, that thing there, Is the greatest teached there will ever be. The guru, the fucking sage....
I did extreme kriya and jnanic counterpart sign grasping before this. I took one hit and have never went this deep witg n,n-dmt ever. I became so conscious of consciousness I saw how I literally imagine my own suffering. My imagination is why I am where I am. It is so hard to explain. I do not me visualization. Litererally, how you are perceiving reality =imagination. 
I entered the breathless state, performing kechari Mudra. 
I was so conscious I had no clue what a phone was. Fuck... 
Study the teachings of sages, do the practices on etheogens. That is how to awaken. To go deeper, I can't explain that via text. 

I've been compiling a list of Stage Green (or higher) communities ranging from eco villages to spiritual ashrams. Please add any to the list and share about your experiences.
 
Tamera Peace Project, Portugal 
Mooji Ashram, Portugal 
Findhorn, UK
Auroville, India
Osho Ashram, Poona, India
Amma Ashram, Southern India
Sadhguru Ashram, India
Plum Village, France
InanItah, Nicaragua 
Momentum Collective, Central America
Hridaya Yoga, France & Mexico
Hridaya Family, San Cristobal de las Casas, Mexico
Refugio Terraza de la Tierra, Oaxaca, Mexico
Tribal Village, Lake Atitlan, Guatemala 
Krishna Village, Australia 
Osho Risk, Denmark
Karme-Choling, VT
Monastic Academy, VT
Possibility Alliance, Maine
Dancing Rabbit Eco Village, Missouri 
Ananda Village, Nevada City, CA
The Abode of the Message, NY
Yogaville, Virginia 
Sivananda Ashram, Bahamas
Angsbacka, Sweden 
Future Thinkers Smart Village, Canada 
Anuttara Ashram, Canada 
Sadhguru Ashram, Tennessee 
Arcosanti, Arizona
Lama Foundation, New Mexico 
Osho Afros, Greece
Punta Mona Center, Costa Rica
Finca Mia, Costa Rica
PachaMama, Costa Rica
Shunyamurti Sat Yoga Ashram, Costa Rica

These threads and discussions are very important because they spell out all the advanced traps that keep you guys from full awakening.
When I prod at these teachers and intellectuals I am not doing it to be better than them, I am doing it so you can make crucial distictions that will help you reach Infinite Consciousness.
Unless you are extremely shrewd, you will get stuck at intermediate realizations.
My aim will always be to guide you to the highest possible realization.
When you finally reach it, you will understand why I did what I did, and why you resisted it.
It's not that I am better than you. I am you. But you don't understand that yet.
You are following me for a reason. Something deep in you knows that I will lead you to the highest awakening. You cannot articulate or prove it to yourself, but nonetheless you are drawn to it like a moth to the light in a sea of endless darkness.
The awakening I speak of is beyond what any human has ever communicated to you.

The thing that will really break your heart is when you wonder:
Why allow anyone to suffer but yourself?
And then you realize: God wouldn't allow anyone to suffer but itself.
And then you realize that the only one who has ever suffered is YOU.
And that's when God's Love truly hits you.
Don't you see?
You are too Good to allow anyone else to suffer but yourself.
If there existed anyone other than you, you would have caused their suffering.
What kind of God would allow that?
Therefore, if God is to be Love, God must have no other.
God's Love is to subject no other to the torrents of consciousness than itself.
Consciousness has no one to dazzle, love, and torrent but itself. Because Consciousness is One.
You see? If it's not happening to you, there's no one else it could be happening to.
That's what it means to be Absolute.
God is Absolute.
You are Absolute.
You are God.
Your Mind is absolutely sovereign.
Your Mind is Absolute Reality.
Reality is your Will. And God's Will is Good.
God is Absolute Good.
You are Absolute Good.
Until you realize this, you're not awake.
Don't focus on your aloneness. Focus on your Goodness.
If reality is imaginary, don't you see? Then all suffering is imaginary.
If all suffering is imaginary, what is that?
GOD'S LOVE
God is that which cannot suffer because it is too awake to its own Goodness.

1. I wouldn't call them losers. 
2. This tate guy is a nobody. You are hallucinating him. His is just a phantom. You have no idea of the level at which he is the embodiment of the things he says which resonates with yourself.
3. Leaving the forum is great because most questions you have are already answered elsewhere. The questions which aren't require genuine insight into the nature of the thing at hand. 
4. Be careful not to have a backlash against the forum because you found something ""higher"". You have found nothing other than more theory which caused a dopamine spike to occur. You as well as the rest have taken zero action. The only action you took was writing this post.
5. The real "actualizers" are seldom or left. Yes, that is correct. The real ones who are actually awake do not comment. Or, maybe they do ?. Who's to say?
6. Take the action, don't talk the action. More of us than you think here do take action. ?. 
7. Psychedelics are 'Tools'. 
8. You are God, whether you think it as a thought or not is secondary. 
9. Buddha wasn't rich. Changing the interior changes the perception of the exterior. The exterior never changes because it's all interior. Everything is occurring within you. The body is the temple. 'THE TEMPLE IN MAN'. Enhancing clarity of perception has its benefits. 
10. Making money and building skills simply alters the quality of your condition. Notice, you will still feel how you feel right now even if you become rich. You still are you. You are reality. Taking a pragmatic approach towards life has its pros and its cons. Be weary my friend and #GODSPEED!

Overall this was a beautiful trip
PRE-TRIP
I was actually pretty nervous the day before I tripped. I wasn't sure if it was the right decision but ultimately I made the decision and it was definitely the correct one
 
THOUGHTS DURING THE TRIP
< > = post trip elaboration
10:30am: ate 2g dried mushrooms
10:39: I have a lot to offer. I love who I am. I am a gift to the world
10:53: head feels... lighter? Like I can tell something is different. Slight urge to throw up, but not really
11:05: it's a gradual onset. Right now everything feels like... slow a bit. I sort of saw the patterns on my bed moving a bit. And I just saw the letters on this piece of paper flowing back and forth like grass in the wind. My body feels a bit weak. I think because I need to eat.
11:14: It's boredom but I have to create the interest. What am I passionate about? Also I am a bit sleepy. Low energy right now.
there's nothing I feel like doing. What do I do? Sleep lmao. love
In spite of how I feel, I have to keep going
I'm much more asleep <metaphysical sense> than I thought
**Life is literally whatever you make it <I then began to dance to some music I put on>
11:27: who is in control? continue to read but don't forget to stay in touch with whatever this is haha <idk what I was saying here>
What is reality?
I feel like this psychedelic is exposing me because I say I'm into personal development but I have nothing to show for it. What do I need to do?
**I feel like I've been trying to put off an image to people, instead of being me
11:37: I get tempted to look at spiritual video <I wanted to watch one of Leo's videos I think>
I see why not everybody has a deep trip every time they take mushrooms. It's because its literally whatever you make it. If you don't have that intent then the mushrooms won't show you
12:40pm: Life feels like a story that I'm creating but I have no idea how deep the story goes
12:50: sat at piano <I just played one note, and it was so magical, it felt like being a child again but even better>
12:59: I have the urge to talk to other people
1:00: Toilets are funny
1:04: Most I see why mushrooms are twisty <I can't explain it in words, but it almost felt like I was going into an infinite loop>
**There's a contour to the mushrooms that's so beautiful. Like they could have been created any other way but they weren't
I feel like I've been slackin <with personal development>
Who am I? almost don't even <incomplete sentence>
What is existence?
**Failure is beautiful
1:22: time slows. I don't know shit <began entering profound state of not-knowing, but didn't quite get there>
What is art? How deep does art go?
1:28: My arms and legs feel so funny. I could sit here and question everything
1:30: What's the point of life?* Life feels very magical rn. These candles also smell really good.
**I need to trip more often. Not cause it feels good but I want to understand wtf is going on.
I created other people?? Sounds crazy af
What is time? <I then stared at the time, and it changed from 1:47 --> 1:48, but time didn't... move? I kind of felt the illusion of time but didn't go too deep into it>
What is confidence? I'm looking at it.
 
 
INSIGHTS & THOUGHTS COMING DOWN
1. I am creating reality
2. I contemplated about what confidence is too. And almost immediately I got my answer. I’m looking at it. Confidence is whatever you see in front of you. If it has the will to exist, it is confident. So what this means is that in order to be more confident, you just have to be it. You can't have any shame either from
3. During the come down of the trip, I felt like a little stressed actually because... life is constantly unfolding. It’s like we are in an infinitely unraveling story, and I want the story to be perfect. But it’s not perfect. And that’s ok! In fact, it’s precisely the imperfection that makes it perfect. Very counterintuitive.
4. I’ll admit it is nice to be back in the dream. I notice I adopted this negative connotation to “life as a dream,” like that’s a bad thing. Like coming back down from the trip is a bad thing or something, and I think that created a little anxiety and stress on my come down. But this is where half of the work is, at the human-level of consciousness. Whether it is a dream or not, why does that even matter? It’s all there is. Speaking of the come down, I noticed my vision was a little bit weird, as if I was looking at a computer all day and I could still see the lines.
5. One thing the psychedelics taught me is that I love story telling. Another facet to my life purpose. The only thing is how do I want to tell stories? Side note also I made it important not to look at my computer during the trip, but consequently I only wrote things down with pen and paper, which is much slower than typing. Painfully slow. So I did miss having that. I think text time I will allow myself to type so I can get my thoughts down faster.
6. Leo I applaud you for your work here. I had a conversation after the trip with one of my friends, and trying to communicate this stuff with others is so challenging, but you’ve come as close as anyone I’ve ever seen to articulating it so well. Like psychedelics makes me admire your work even more, and I’ve been following you for 6 years. It’s very inspiring. During my trip I thought about your blogpost, the only question is why, the only answer is love. Life should just end right there ahaha but of course it doesn’t. That’s the short answer, and everything in life is just the long answer to the question, but ultimately it always goes back to love. 
7. Oddly enough, I just got a sex insight. I have a girlfriend, and in the bedroom I could be doing a lot more teasing and foreplay. We tend to just get right to it, and I think that’s why it’s been feeling a little boring or “vanilla”. 
8. Also I realized in my interactions with people, I tend to approach it from the perspective that there is always something to learn from the other person. Good, right? Well, I see how it can backfire because that can make it seem like the other person holds all the value, and I completely ignore the value that I can provide the other person. I think this has led to me undermining or completely neglecting the value that I can provide to others. I hold value that I am keeping from other people by not sharing it with others.
 
PS: God is the ultimate jokster, and I love God for it
Leo’s video, Humanity is the bullshitting animal, is spot on 
 
9. Also, reality is so amazing. I’m honestly just so happy to have “experienced” everything I have so far on psychedelics. Everything else from here is like icing on the cake for me. I feel a lot of bliss.
10. I was also aware of something else. Psychedelics usually only last 3-6 hours. But I was aware that it could literally last for infinity if I wanted it to. The 3-6 hours is just a safety net for us so that we don’t go mad. It’s literally just an excuse we created but a wise excuse. Then I thought about it. Is the point of taking more and more psychedelics to stretch our capacity to be in that higher state of consciousness for longer, while also maintaining survival? So in other words, psychedelics is the bridge between higher consciousness and baseline human survival consciousness, and the goal is to slowly strengthen the bridge so that we can come from a more loving place in mundane life? Not sure if that makes sense but I like the analogy of psychedelics being a bridge between God and humans, and the more psychedelics you take (with the right intentions of course), it slowly blurs the boundary between God and Human, until finally it comes together. I haven’t experienced that yet, but I am very open to the experience. I’m in no rush to see God but am very excited at the thought of it
11. Also language. I think it’s interesting how much language has to do with understanding reality. I think a big part of Leo’s work is mastering language, and being able to use the right words in order to convey all the advanced topics, but of course the words themselves are second order to the actual thing that is being talked about. So I wonder how the future of humanity will deal with that issue, what kind of new language could emerge in order to integrate higher consciousness? 
12. I had the intention “to be creative & to learn how to love myself and others more.” But in retrospect, the secret intention I had was to learn “how am I creating reality?” and I definitely got a little taste of it. But I have yet to go fully down that rabbit hole.
 
TAKEAWAYS FOR FUTURE TRIPS
> I think if I take 2.5, I will be biting off more than I can chew. I think I want to just take 1.5 or 2 again and see the similarities/differences in experience before I move up to 2.5g. Also I think I will need a more grounded, genuine intention before I up the dose so I have a strong anchor to fall on if I need it. 
> Also I realized not to underestimate the power of a good affirmation. I am going to start saying affirmations every day because something I became aware of during the psychedelic is the link between your thoughts and reality, namely how thoughts literally manifest within reality. Given time (and other factors im not aware of currenlty). I don’t understand the full depths of this yet but the connection is definitely there. Simply changing your thoughts can change the whole trajectory of one’s life. And an easy way to do that with little investment is saying affirmations everyday, but actually believing it when you say it, not just saying it mechanically like a robot. And if you don’t believe it, you gotta just fake it til you make it, and eventually you will start to believe it, then it will become your reality.
> Also I did this trip solo, and I think I like to keep it that way. Having other people really is distracting and counterproductive to the experience. Unless said person is very aligned with you in some way. Like the only person I would want to do psychedelics with is my girlfriend, I think that would be a beautiful experience, and on a lower dose like 1g or 1.5 at the most. There’s no need to go higher than that. I’m not gonna be questioning reality too deeply with her, more so just basking in it so I wouldn’t want the dose to be too high.
> I need to read more books, and also I have been too conservative with psychedelics. I have been sort of protecting the experience a lot if that makes sense, but I am ready to do psychedelics a little more often, and I am still going to be wise when deciding when I do them. But I think it would be beneficial for me to take a psychedelic again (1.5g most likely) in maybe one month, instead of waiting 3 or more months.
> I need to create more magic in my life. I have to insert the magic into life myself though, I can't expect life to hand me magical shit on a silver platter
 

By realizing that if you live trapped in your fears you will become a miserable and weak husk of a human.
All of life boils down to fear vs love. Either you will side with fear or you will side with love. If you side with fear you will become a devil and if you side with love you will become God.

It's real simple. Your "physical body" reacts to what you program it with during your "day to day life". If you sit down and meditate and turn your whole life in to a meditation practice, obviously your physical being is going to produce exactly what fits in with your type of living.
When you start your practice and you are new to meditation, you go through a process of filtering out the blockages between your truest state.
This process, if done long enough, will produce exactly what psychedelics do to your "physical body". So when you sit down and meditate for 2 hours, you start to produce the experience of being in harmony, bliss or clarity. As you mentioned.

It's the exact same thing with psychedelics. When you begin to take your psychedelics you go through the same filtering process, but during a shorter period of time. But since people just pop these without knowing or preparing themselves with a genuine practice or lifestyle change, it forces them in to changing drastically. And when they don't = the state changes and you go back to baseline.

Same thing with meditation, you drop your practice completely = you go back to baseline. Because your physical body reacts to what you do, or program it with.

The problem with these debates and topics is that people fall under the false impression that its ONLY about meditation, or ONLY about taking psychedelics. It's both. But if you have a hard time living a "normal" life and not meditating 12+ hours per day, psychedelics will work just fine.

It's about changing your way of being and lining up with your TRUTH, and keeping yourself aligned with your life and your way of being.
No matter if you do meditation, breathing techniques, trauma-work, deprogramming, or psychedelics. Work with whatever fits your style.
And stop thinking that this is a one sided approach.
 

Have you woken up to the fact that reality is just a mirror? On LSD, have you come so close to God, that you realize that she is within you? 
 
When you reach the non-dual peak, you come to realize that you don’t “feel” it, because you don’t give or emit it. 
You feel what you give out.  
 
When you stand in front of a mirror; what do you see other than what you are? 
When you love your image in the mirror, that is what you see. Love reflected back through the mirror. So, what is stopping you from giving yourself, exactly the love you want to feel? Right Now.
  
Thing is that, the love reaches a point where you can’t take it anymore. It becomes so Infinite, that you would go crazy or implode your whole sense of reality pretty quickly. 
And our being kinda knows that. Thats why we put a “sealing” on it. “This is how much I can take for now.” 
 
The further we go, the further we wake up; that “sealing” will just get higher and higher, until it merges with the Infinite. 
And “Death” occurs. 
  
Allow yourself to give yourself the Love you need to enjoy this dream, while it lasts.

This is something that happend to me yesterday that I will never be able to forget. This was one of the most transformational experiences of my life and keep in mind that I have done LSD, Mushrooms, DMT and 5 MeO in high doses. I have had profound spiritual experiences with psychedelics and especially with 5 MeO. For me these experiences are deeply existensial and life changing. I read a few reports about people dying and going to the other side using high doses of ketamine that literally shut off the brain completely. Found this interesting article today on reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/hecmsp/researchers_think_a_khole_might_actually_be_the/. Anyways let's get to the report.
Keep in mind that my experience isn't really what most people will experience on ketamine and I think that is due to the intensive spiritual work that I have done in the past. I have been experimenting with mind altering substances for years with good integration for the purpose of understanding reality as it is. Also been doing plenty of spiritual work and verifying Leos spiritual content.
I started by dividing 600 mg of ketamine into four lines for insufflation. Then I snorted one line every 30 secondes or so for better absorption. After completeing all lines I started to feel my consciosuness expanding in a very intersting way. I could compare this feeling to the comeup of an LSD trip where everything starts to breathe and colors gets more vibrant. After a few minutes I started to lose attachment to my surroundings and things started to feel part of me. It felt like I was my imagining my phone and everything around me. Slowly I got to a level where I couldn't understand who I was anymore and my vision just exploded into infinite geometrical patterns. My ego then started to panic and looking around for any leads to get grounded in the experiences but it was too late. I was long gone! I lost all awareness of my body, I did not know who I was and where I was, and I was this melting intelligent energy. I was pure being in a world of constantly changing patterns and stripes of geometrical patterns. I had no sense of time, whether of past present or future, so I could say I was in a roller-coaster ride in a multidimensional giant fractal for infinity and beyond.

This went on and on and on and on and on... This was the scariest place I have ever visited in my life, even worse than than the one I experienced on a high dose of Salvia. I was being killed in an infinite ways and there was no way to understand what was going on. I did not even know what earth was or that I was even a human. All I knew was infinity and pure beingness. This kept on for a good while before I gave up totally and that was the moment where I was transported into the mind of God. I realized that I am the creator of the entire Universe and that everything and everyone is just really me. My memories then started to come back to me and I became conscious that I was creating all of the things/people I thought were seperate from me like my friends and house. I was this powerful pure energy circulating for infinity and a sense of oneness pervaded me. There is no secret to hide or anything to fear because really all is one. How could I be so stupid? I grew up in a religious family where I was told that God is this seperate entity that judges the bad and rewarding the good but in that moment I was literally it. That was a very unbelievable feeling! Everytime I wanted to deny this power, God took me on an infnite journey to show me who I really am until I gave up completely. This was one of the most powerful moments of my entire life. Then I decided to divide myself into different energies (souls) to experience life from different perspective and slowly I started to imagine my hands. It felt like I was watching a hand for the very first time of my life and its was so beautiful. Look at these fingers, what an elegant creation! I then became this entity in a physical body but I was still conscious of what I have just experienced. Life is really crazy and beautiful. Take care of this amazing gift that you gifted yourself. Simply enjoy the ride! You are me and I am you. Seperation is an illusion. Hope you enjoyed this quick report. ?

I'm always hearing "I broke through on x psychedelic", but what does "breakthrough" actually mean? 
 
I looked up Google's definition: "a sudden, dramatic, and important discovery or development." 
How do you define it? What is it that you're breaking through? What is it that you are breaking out of? 
 

What you call your perspective is what reality is. It's not a human perspective of course. You are imagining that this perspective belongs to a human. And furthermore you are even imagining it to be "a perspective". It's not "a perspective", it's all there is -- absolutely.
It's not a human perspective. It's God.
The notion of "a perspective" or multiple perspectives is itself deeply illusory and problematic. The notion of perspective is fundamentally dualistic because it assumes multiples of these "perspectives". It assumes that your perspective is not absolute because there are others which you cannot access.
Absolute Consciousness is not a perspective. That's why it's so fucking radical.

Prayer doesn't have to be an ideology.
You can make a powerful prayer like:
"God, fill me with your love so that I may know your love directly and share it with others."
"I surrender myself to become a vehicle of your Love."
You can visualize this and feel with deep emotion, over and over again, until it starts to become your reality.
Since you are God, you are basically setting an intention for yourself and re-creating your dream in alignment with the highest good you can envision.
The only things you should ask of God are for selflessness, consciousness, truth, love, and courage.

Yes, commitment is emotionally challenging because commitment only makes sense from the POV of an attractive guy with many options if the girl is exceptional. There is little desire to commit to an average girl.
For commitment to make sense she has to be really amazing. But most girls are not that.
Also, commitment means losing years not developing one's game. And the longer a guy wait to development one's game, the harder it becomes. Also the sex and even the relationship will start to get stale after some years unless special measures are taken. So there is a fear that commitment will lead to mediocrity.
Having very high standards makes commitment very challenging. In a sense commitment requires surrendering or lowering one's standards.
From the male POV, sex is a daily requirement but commitment requires something exceptional. Which is why guys tend to have sex but not commit. If a guy waited to only have sex with girls he was willing to commit to, he would be starving like a homeless dog waiting for years for the right girl to come along. And then he would fuck that up with neediness.
So ironically girls are attracted to the guys who are least likely to commit. These are the guys who have so many options that commitment makes little sense. Because a guy who doesn't have all those options will be super needy and repel most girls. You girls are attracted to the most detached guys, and then you wonder why he won't commit.
The guy who would commit to you, you have no interest in sleeping with. He doesn't make you wet or emotional. And your sleeping decisions are purely emotional, not logical. Hence you keep hooking up with guys who won't commit.
The more arousing the guy the less likely he is to commit. That's how this game works. You have to find some sort of balancing point. You can't just chase the highest arousal. You have to make sacrifices. You can't get it all unless you are bringing massive value to the negotiating table.
Sex is a value exchange. And everyone is trying to leech maximum value. Everyone is trying to get something for nothing. And then suffering ensues of course because leeching and theft are self-undermining.
In a sense, when you are dating you are trying to steal sexual value. You aren't doing this consciously, but subconsciously that's exactly what all your arousal and emotions are doing. Your emotions precisely motivate behaviors which steal sexual value. This survival mechanic is so deep that you aren't even aware it's happening. To you it just feels like romance. When you get super attracted to a guy so much that you can't stop daydreaming about him, that's because you know he has more value than you, and that locking him down would be a really good deal for you. It's like walking into a car dealership and seeing your favorite car 50% off. You are giddy with joy at the bargain you just found and you want to pounce on it immediately before someone else does. But of course no quality car is ever 50% off unless there is something seriously wrong with it.
Bottom line: If you want the best car in the dealership you should expect to work hard and pay a lot for it. If you don't want to pay a lot, then expect a mediocre car. Madness is expecting the best car for dirt cheap.
Men's commitment phobia is their emotional way of maximizing sexual value.

SEO is a pool full of manipulation and I fully regret that my business relies on it. But, to give you a few tips: 
- Focus on on-page optimization, I highly recommend pageoptimizerpro (Google it) - this will set your rankings straight. 
- Focus on link building, I highly recommend niche edits / guest posts / diversity link building - this will help you build authority 
- Focus on building EAT Signals (Google it) - this will help you build brand awareness and more authority. 
- Help client build up a content strategy by doing extensive long-tail keyword research and finding an affordable content writer to write for all the long-tail variations. Then point all the long-tail articles to a single "authoritative article" focused on a high-volume keyword. 
Doing this properly and in 6-months or more, that traffic should increase significantly. 
 
 
- 

A lot can be researched online these days. But you could also buy books, talk to experts, find mentors, go to seminars, buy courses, etc.
You need to study how other businesses in your niche work. What makes them work? What are they doing well? What are they doing poorly? What opportunities are they missing? How much money do they make? What are the profit margins like? How did they become successful? How did others fail? How saturated is this niche? What is necessary to succeed in this niche? Who are the customers/clients? What do they seek? What problems do they have which you could help them solve? How much money do they have and how much can you charge them?
The better you know the answers to all these questions the higher your odds of finding your niche.
You can answer all those questions by doing lots of online research, reading books, and talking to people from the industry you're into. You can also answer those questions by running small tests on the market. Try to sell or create something within that niche and see how people react. These small tests show you what works and what doesn't work.
And perhaps the most fundamental form of research is just massively consuming content within your niche. For example, if want to become a video game designer, play a ton of games. That's research. Or if you want to be therapist, hire a lot of therapy sessions for yourself so you get a deep experience of what makes for good vs bad therapy. Try to become the biggest fan/consumer of your own niche. If you want to be filmmaker, study the shit out of film. Watch it, analyze it, criticize it, dissect it. Have more experience with film than most filmmakers. Talk to other filmmakers and pick their brain. Slowly make industry connections. Then it will be quite easy to succeed as a filmmaker.

Names have been changed for the sake of privacy
Wednesday September 29 2021, my father and I smoked 5-MeO-DMT in the form of toad venom.
The Story: “I am a 33 year old male living in a beach suburb of Los Angeles. I am healthy, and do not use medication of any kind, or supplements, herbs, etc. My first experience with psychedelics was with LSD when I was 16, and I have also used mescaline, mushrooms, and n,n-DMT. For the past two years I have been using exclusively n,n-DMT and psilocybin mushrooms, and have been fully immersed in wisdom traditions which can broadly be referred to as non-duality.”
I first became interested in 5-MeO-DMT many years ago, it’s impossible to know exactly when. Terence McKenna didn’t have much to say about it, feeling that the lack of visual activity was a shortcoming of the compound. Hamilton Morris botched some parts of it's history in a season 2 episode of his VICE show, only to make a spectacular comeback to kick off season 3. Memes and myths about psychedelic toads are common enough that even the lay person has heard of licking toads to get high. But that’s not the route of administration called for here.
Incilius alvarius, formerly bufo alvarius, aka the Sonoran Desert toad or Colorado River toad. The largest toad in North America, this unassuming creature is recognizable by the venom sacks on its arms, legs, back, and parotid. When the toads emerge from hibernation en masse, one can collect their venom by squeezing the glands thereby spraying the excretion onto a piece of clean glass. After a period of drying, the venom contains ~15% 5-MeO-DMT, which can then be scraped and vaporized. When heated in a glass pipe, one long toke of this pungent vapor will produce what is widely regarded as the most intense entheogenic experience possible. In recent years, as relationships between US and Mexico based practitioners grow, a beautiful entheogenic culture is being birthed, with this toad at the center.
Over the past two years my father and I fell in love with the synergy between n,n-DMT and non-duality, and he is rather active on social media in sharing his insights and perspective. We have a special bond, and after I shared n,n-DMT with him he has served himself on several occasions. Two weeks before this experience someone reached out to him on social media, curious if the information he’s been sharing was catalyzed by an encounter with 5-MeO. After some discussion, an exchange of names and numbers, and the auspicious alignment of several vectors, we booked a 6pm session in Malibu.
Fast forward two weeks. 
The day arrived.
I fasted, and left work early in order to buy some comfortable clothes for the experience and to give myself time and space to settle. Mild nervousness began to set in at this point. Sweaty palms. It  was 2 hours until the ceremony, and I took time to sit and follow my breath and refine my intention for the encounter. I left home with time to spare for  unexpected changes in traffic and a beach meditation en route to the facilitator’s home.
After the drive and a few minutes spent admiring the Pacific, I met my father at the entrance to the house. If you imagine a cross between a Hobbit house, a cathedral, and an organic spaceship overlooking the ocean, the image will not be far off. We were greeted by one of the facilitators, Luna, who informed us that the previous guest was still processing and integrating, which gave us time to chat poolside with Jeremy, the lead facilitator. Jeremy is also my father’s name, and like my father he spent most of his career in western medicine. This is one of many synchronicities which surrounded this experience and continue to bubble up in my life. We shared awakening stories and practical information as the sun slowly set on the ocean, and when the time came we were ushered into the spacious and well appointed interior. This is where the ceremony was conducted, and I couldn’t have imagined a more comfortable or welcoming environment. All the expected design elements were present, raw wood, stone, and an altar whose center piece was a large amethyst geode which resembled a pair of open wings.
Inside, we were introduced to Alicia, the final of the three facilitators. We were cleansed with sage, and moved into place on simple padded mats adorned with the likeness of Ganesha which had been laid out on the floor.  My father was to go first and I would follow him 15 minutes later. The medicine was delivered in the Eclipse, a type of vaporizer with a threaded end into which a vial containing one’s individual dose is loaded. A most effective tool. Music came down, the lights dimmed, and incense was burned. This was it.
Kneeling on the mat, my father was handed the pipe to hold between his palms, close to his heart, while one of the facilitators held a typed prayer before him to be read aloud. He read the prayer, and upon completion the dose was delivered. In one long inhalation, the entire dose was received. One single breath. My father laid down on his side where the facilitators quickly and gently rearranged pillows and blankets to support him. The effects come on immediately, and present differently depending on the individual’s nature and needs. Not 10 seconds after the end of the inhalation, my father began vocalizing in complex glossolalia. He was not speaking any language I know, or even know of, but the tone of the message was complete and utter astonishment. I couldn’t help but smile, and at times barely contained myself as the joy turned to laughter, and tried to escape from me the way steam rises from boiling water.
Eventually, the mutterings gave way to English, and some of the quality of his experience came through:
“Unfathomable. Un-fathom-able. Oh Jesus. Jesus Christ! Of course. That’s it. That’s IT. Jesus Fucking Christ! I get it! Of course I get it, , I get it. How could it be anything else?”
This settled down, and no more than 10 minutes after the dose, my father was resting peacefully, in deep communion with All That Is. Jeremy asked me to step outside to speak to him.
“Would you like to take the medicine while standing? This is usually reserved for the second session onward, but based on your history I think it would be a beautiful experience. You remain upright, spine in alignment, bridging Heaven and Earth. I’ll be right behind you, waiting to catch you when it comes on. Just fall back and we’ll take care of you.”
How could I say no?
We headed back inside, and I stood at the edge of the mat while the final preparations were made. This was the moment of Truth.  Alicia cleansed my hands with Florida water. She gave me the pipe and held the prayer to read.
At this time in writing the report, I am shivering and covered in waves of goosebumps as I coax the memory of that evening from out of the ether.
“I am love. I am health. I am peace. I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be healthy…”
“Now breathe it in, nice and slow. Good, good, more. More, more. Almost there, a bit more, good.”
The rich vapor is the taste of mystery. It’s aroma is ancient, spiced, sweet, and deep. Earthy and medicinal, more than anything it tastes of power.
As I finished drawing it all in the room quivered, suddenly filled not with air, but a viscous superfluid which was both more real and more dreamlike than waking perception. My arms were still raised, having lifted them over my head while taking the dose as instructed. As I lowered them, I fell back not into the arms of a man, but into the boundless heart of creation.
Am I going to do it? Am I going to say “It cannot be described” and then go on trying to describe it? I could spend the rest of my life in effort, and never get any closer to conveying the felt experience.
Holy Fucking Shit.
This Is It.
This Is Me.
I Am It.
Imagine what it feels like to become history, to become expression, to become Tao. This is everything, complete and outside of time. It is the Transcendental Object at the End of Time. It is loving, self organizing, infinite intelligence. All sense of who I am, that I am a “who,” was blown away in a great cosmic wind. All sensory experience merged into one orgasmic, orchestral cheer which echoed through the halls of creation.
I am an old man basking in the sun. I am a wave crashing on the shore. I am touch, number, color, smell, sound, taste, light, electricity, magnetism. I am the telling of a joke and the punchline. I am the intimate symmetry of flowers in bloom. I am liquid light in love with itself, dancing into form, dancing out of form. I am an impossible object of infinite potential. The only thing to do is everything, and so I do everything. I am every possible extreme and subtlety, the transcendence of quality. I am without quality. Total. There is nothing to which or against which comparison is possible. All of reality is One. All of reality is won. This is a solvent. The problem solved itself. Holy shit This Is It.
I felt the crystalline nature of the eternal moment precipitate from the supersaturated solution that is all the teachers and all the teachings of my life. The qualities of my father’s loving wisdom are in me, I am them. I am the radical insistent wisdom of Leo Gura, and I became him, and we were the universe, astonished and weeping with joy at having done it again. We did it. We remembered. I laid there as the infinite descended into form and all of reality knit itself back together
I opened my eyes. Perfect brilliant stillness. Complete luminous abiding. Total radiant peace. I rested in the delicious feeling of being alive. Of being Life. I closed my eyes.
“Hey bud, how are you doing? You want another puff? It’ll be like a deep meditation.”
Jeremy laid a gentle hand on my chest.
How could I say no.
I remained prone on the mat while Jeremy administered the second dose. The inhalation was slightly shorter, but the depth of this experience was just as profound as the first.
The Knowing was there again. What we call reality is the appearance of opposites, across all possible axes, in perfect dynamic equilibrium. In this configuration there is infinitely loving creative intelligence. Life trusts and loves itself completely, and so gives itself full permission to express itself Completely. It’s here, it’s right there, for you to take it all.
Something  trying to move, and I have to allow it. Drawing a breath, I let out an exultant howl rising and then falling in the end. It felt like the ultimate acknowledgment of who I am. From somewhere in the distance I heard the howl returned, a howl of recognition from my father. I howled again, jubilant.
Who knows how long I lay merged with this unity. Eternity isn’t a long time, it is the transcendence of time. Coming back, slowly, slowly, gently. Piecing together my individuality was like putting on the finest clothes
I whispered to myself:
“My name is Mason Newhouse. My father’s name is Jeremy Newhouse. My mother’s name is Lucienne Pavot. I am speaking the universe into existence. Satya is the truth of existence.”
I shuddered with bliss at the simple facts of my being. I bathed in that bliss for a moment, and wriggled cozily, feeling like a child in bed on a lazy Sunday morning. Eventually I sat up, and reflexively spit a congealed ball of emotion across the room, and looked at Alicia seated to my left.
"Well, that's it. Welcome to Utopia "
Alicia smiled and nodded.
The sun had set, and the spacious, dimly lit space was rich with magic and the potent scent of toad venom. The room was thick with emotion, and I looked at my father on the mat beside me
“So that’s it.” he said
“That’s it.” I replied
“Two thumbs up.”
To my right and behind me I saw Luna, and heard her crying gently. There is the impression that something profound had just taken place, and everyone sat quietly together in pure open awareness.
My father and I hugged and laid on our backs, head to head, marvelling at what had just taken place. Jeremy came over to welcome us back. He thanked us for the beautiful session, saying that it brought him even closer to his own father, with whom he has shared this experience. We all sat together talking for a bit, about the experience we had, about the people it has helped, research being done, etc.
“It’s nice to have a body.” I say, and I mean it. “A nice human thing.”
We all sat for a while, and as big talk turned to small talk, the evening drew to a close.
I offered my deep gratitude to our facilitators, to the people who harvested this medicine, to the toad, to the earth, to the sky, to myself. To The Self.
Years, indeed lifetimes could be spent in describing the awakened non-dual state, and that’s exactly what’s going on. All religions, mystery schools, and spiritual traditions are pointing to this.
There is nothing new I need to say or could say. Any way I approach it, this experience is a transcendence. It is nothing like n,n-DMT, and yet an obvious expansion on it. There is no way I could have prepared for it, but everything in my life led to that moment. It was infinite power and infinite gentleness. I have to choose to end the report here, lest I go on forever. I'm in no hurry to go back to that space but I savor the thought of when the time comes to return.
tl;dr I smoked dried toad venom and became God, which is synonymous with Universe, Love, Tao, Reality, Energy, Intelligence, Creation, Imagination, Consciousness, Eternity, Infinity, Everything, Nothing. This. Here. Now.

@- XF - There are no guarantees of any kind. Truth is Truth. It does not necessarily imply any kind of action.
Generally speaking your love for others will tend to deepen. However, if your life and relationships are built on much falsehood and lies, realizing Truth may blow all that apart.
But if you truly love someone, your love for them should deepen with Awakening.

Actually, for you thirsty guys, one of the biggest boss moves you can make is once you got a girl hooked, you withhold sex for a few dates until she is clawing for it like a cat. This will build insane attraction. The only downside is you gotta truly be non-needy, which is hard. Takes skill and experience to pull that off. That's like a grand-master move.
You get her super horny, and then you just drop it and never have sex with her that night.
This is SO powerful that it borders on sadistic mind control. You can totally own her heart with that one. So be careful what you wish for ladies. You just might get it.
Counter-intuitive moves