TheAlchemist

I don't think there's any need to feel guilt or shame in relation to these things. Some people seem to think that those are the only feelings that can motivate people in situations like this, but that is not the case. There can be a deeply positive motivation that comes from a empathetic and loving place. I think the core of this movement of hearing out indigenous perpectives is coming more so from a place of compassion and care than guilt and shame. You are right, past wrongdoings are not fixed by neverending loathing in shame and self-hate. The only hope of "fixing" it is hearing out the oppressed, trying to understand them, finding the truth of past events, and doing the best to reconscile some of the damage. If you look into truth & reconsciliation commissions that have been set up around the world, it's interesting to see that the oppressed commonly don't want to just somehow even out the playing field and get back at the oppressors. Often they just want to be finally heard, respected and listened to as humans, after decades and sometimes even centuries of dehumanization and humiliation from the ones in power.

Maybe your own awakening is making it so. The appearances of others are waking up with you, confirming your inner sense of truth. Slowly but surely dissolving the separation. Maybe a single person getting enlightened is everyone getting enlightened. It just seems like there are some enlightened guys out there, because there is still an imagined separation happening from an imagined pov. I was shocked hearing about this idea from Terence McKenna:

From which book is this?

Literally all you need is enough mindfulness and self-love to be able to genuinely listen to people when they speak and ask some questions. Everyone is so conscerned with themselves, to the extent that one of the most valuable things you can bring to the table in new social environments is to literally just hear what people are saying. Just throw yourself in social situations, and make that your only focus, at least to get started. And there's no need to feel any guilt for being quiet. It's a trap, you feel guilty about being quiet, then you get more in your head, and you become even more quiet and then you can't even listen to people and you get detached. I was stuck in that loop in high school and it made me think my brain was somehow broken and that I was retarded. All you have to do is stop shaming yourself, develop some self love and you will be fine. That will be your starting place for practicing being social. But to grow you have to throw yourself into those social environments even if you don't say a word. Use it as a self-love exercise. You can handle it. Tell yourself "I might not like it, but I can handle it". That's a very powerful statement.

There are different types of venting. For example: Venting to express anger or bitterness with a desire for the person listening to support you in your interpretation and your bias in the situation. This type of venting can deepen the anger, and enforce division and a victim mindset. This is not real venting of emotions, this is venting of thoughts and assumptions, which is bound to deepen the pain, even though it might feel satifying in the short term. Thought and interpretation tends to lead to more division, since they are not relatable and enforce your sense of separateness. Or Venting to express genuine emotions you are feeling, and struggles you are having in relation to your needs. Also acknowledging that there is always two sides to any conflict, reflecting on how you were responsibe and could have caused division. This can cause healing and is more likely to result in the emotions being processed in a healthy way. This can feel painful in the moment, but it is relieving in the long run. --------- If in the role of the listener, it's a question of what is the purpose of the friendship? It might not be our job to tell others how to express themselves, but regardless it would be important for us to express ourselves authentically if we are feeling uncomfortable with someones venting, taking responsibility in promoting unity instead of division. So, we can remain compassionate regardless of the other persons way of expressing, all we need to worry about is our own communication.

The profound intelligence of the universe. Realizing I don't need to do anything, I can't really control anything, the universe is so hyper intelligent that I have nothing to worry about. Tapping into those moments are what have given me deep joy for life during some dark moments recently. All there is to do is give up, let go, forgive. When I remember that, I feel so exhilarated and full of life!

The dosage in the edible was in the 30-40mg range, and I have zero tolerance. But it was maybe a bit too intense, I would take half (max) of that next time.

No drugs are addictive. There are just humans with a need to escape pain, often some substance just happens to become a tool for that.

Love this. It's the perfect frame flip, in the state of highest suffering we feel strongly that 0% of things happen for a reason, the ultimate suffering is when we feel our suffering has no meaning. Flip that, see that 100% of things happen for a reason. If you were to truly live that all the time, I think suffering would actually be impossible.

When you say that, it makes me feel distressed and frustrated because I have a need for connection and communion. If you are willing, you could point out what specifically made you interpret it that way, and how that made you feel, and what you would suggest to make it more constructive. I'm not yet very skillful at going about this process online just with text, face to face it can be very powerful and constructive, bringing about peace and mutual understanding. What I'm doing is trying to apply nonviolent communication (NVC) in an attempt to bring about more constructive conversations that move towards more love and understanding instead of division and conflict. But regardless, it seems best to let it go for now since it seems to be causing more distress.

My point was not to focus on minutiae, but more as a general point to point out how we often present our interpretations as if they're feelings and then get surprised when others can't decipher the feelings we were wanting to express behind the interpretation. Do you feel disempowered? Or uneasy? Or hurt? Maybe that's because you have a need for mutuality, or for inclusion, or communion and Leo talking about how to get laid is internally making you feel distant from those needs. What you feel and what you need will be totally obvious to you, but I'm trying to help you spell it out more clearly (your feelings and needs) so maybe Leo and others can better understand and relate to your point of view instead of getting defensive. Then if you want, you can also say what you would like (not demand) for Leo to do or to consider when making videos or comments in relation to which you feel disempowered (or whatever feeling). Only then we can go somewhere from the conflict, Leo can relate to your needs and feelings (since we all have them) and then that is the best possible space for him to change what he does, if he willingly wants to do so.

It would be more constructive and relatable if you could express some feeling you had in relation to some specific statement. What you stated is not a feeling, but an interpretation. And that is likely to cause more conflict, since someone else is likely to disagree with your interpretation. But no one can disagree with your emotion and if you say what specifically triggered that emotion in you, then people can relate much better. If you also choose to bring forward a need you have that is not being met when you feel that way, we are already 1000% closer to peace on earth. And this applies to all of us here.

I think comments like this are likely to be interpreted in a way that causes just more pain and conflict, keep in mind most people probably haven't even watched your "understanding survival" series and are not recognizing that what men are doing in relationships is also nothing more than their relative survival agenda. I think it might be useful to more explicitly state that what game is, is nothing more than a way to enhance a certain relative survival agenda (male). And how it ties into bias and even identity, these agendas and biases are embedded into being a limited identity that is in a state of scarcity and has needs. Bringing these agendas to awareness without recognizing that they are totally biased can understandably result in lots of pain for people with different biases (women in this case), since they will feel like their identity is being threatened, as conflicting biases are made explicit. But also, we all know it's possible to get our needs met without infringing upon someone elses needs or values.

Think back to a dream you had. You were there right? Where, or to whom do you think that dream was appearing?

I have found the Waking Up app helpful in developing a consistent practice. I like it because it has a combination of more basic mindfulness with also serious nondual pointing instructions. It also has some awesome mini-courses by Adyashanti, Loch Kelly and Richard Lang for example that focus on different approaches and angles "towards" nonduality. That way you can find something that resonates with you and go deeper into that. For example I found Henry Shukman and Zen koan practice from the app that really struck me, probably would have never looked in that direction without it.

If this hasn't popped up in your visual field, you you aren't truly awakened yet

Interestingly, people in hunter-gatherer tribes likely didn't even know that sex causes pregnancy. So sex might have been just a casual thing like with the bonobos (humans closest relatives along with chimps). Bonobos have sex with each other all day long, to reduce some stress, resolve some conflicts or just out of boredom. So maybe sex was not as possessive and didn't hold such meaning. And there is clear evidence to support that women tend to prefer highly masculine traits during ovulation, and less masculine traits during pregrancy and outside ovulation, even in modern times. So partner selection could have been quite fluid within the tribe without much possessiveness. Even some modern tribes have been discovered where they believed that all the men who were intimate with a woman are the fathers, and they raised the child together. That type of view would totally change the dynamics of sexual relations. And it might be what the environment of evolutionary adaptation was like for us.

I recommend reading the book "Rapid Escalation" by Liam McRae if you want to open your mind to the kind of spontaneous sexual adventures you can have, when you become courageous and grounded in your sexual nature. The book is more about an intuitive approach instead of learning specific techniques, allowing the heat of the moment to take you. It's a collection of stories, tips and field reports from dozens of rapid and passionate sexual encouters often happening in very public places in the heat of the moment. Also read some feminist literature on womens sexual fantasies. For example Nancy Fridays Secret Garden describes womens sexual fantasies in very explicit detail. These two books can totally shift your mindset on what sex and sexual relations with women can be like in this life. And in a very healthy win-win way I think.

1. Division vs Unity - The Engine That Runs Reality 1. The Social Matrix - How Society Is A Mass Hallucination 1. Self Love - The Highest Teaching In The Universe 1. What Is Reality - A Radical Explanation 1. Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God (scared me shitless on LSD, like watching a horror movie for the Ego)

Any job where you convince yourself you can't quit even if you wanted to

Do you think there is a continuum between ultimate suffering and zero suffering? Do you think we can still reduce suffering, although you say we can't totally eliminate it?

Saying "no" to things you don't want in your life. When you start saying no to things you don't want, you start saying yes to yourself. You start building an identity. Develop boundaries. Figure out what you will accept from other people and what you will not. And enforce those boundaries. Stand up for yourself. Confront someone about something that disturbs you, in a respectful but firm way. Identify your core values and needs. Make distinctions between you and other people, how are you unique exactly? Interestingly, the process of building a solid sense of self is very similiar to what the process of building a solid nation, state, community, company, brand or sports team is like.

I recently started having some open conversations with myself, where I identify a feeling I am feeling and then look into what need has been met or unmet. There's usually some unmet or met need behind any emotion. Recognizing and acknowledging that need in myself is very healing. I feel joy and satisfaction after I do this process, because it fulfills my need for being understood. It's a real life hack.

^This applies to psychedelics. They really do need to be treated like dynamite. Don't take the way most people use psychedelics as a sign of what potential psychedelics have, that is not a good sample to determine their effects. Give 10 solid trips to some philosophers, yogis, systems thinkers, transpersonal or psychodynamic psychologists etc. Then you might be able to start accurately assessing whether they have potential. For me the first about 10 trips were just confusing, mostly suffering and intense shame bubbling up, with occasional relief. But that was not a problem of the psychedelics. That was me purifying and facing years of shame and guilt that were stuck in my mind, that I needed to let go of. Only now my trips are starting to shift towards topics of society, love, evolution, collective ego, my role in life; with occasional, subtle peeks into God realization. I don't expect a full God realization any time soon since I am taking the gradual approach. Slowly pushing the edge of what I can handle. And slowly it is moving towards the direction of God realization, infinity, all that stuff. But it might be still years until I'm totally commited to go as deep as possible. It is a marathon not a sprint.

Two suggestions: 1. Jacob's Ladder 2. Requiem for a dream Both are very raw and emotionally intense, something oddly beautiful about them although they are (mostly) about hellish suffering. Best to only watch them if you feel grounded and find yourself wanting to accept some "darkness" with a loving embrace.