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Entry: #006 Date: 16.09.2023 Time: 04:18 AM Journal: Insights Subject: The Key I really don't know how many times did I got this kind of insight, and always I would feel it to the core of my being as it's very true from my subjective perspective. It's not even overkill to say that anything is solvable in this life just by engaging in spiritual transformation. Many many times I have said that "Meditation" alone is the key to peace, problem solving, clear mind etc..Yes, many things will definately raise out of this journey, from my deep work, life purpose work, professional work, family, love, relationships, life in general. But behind it all, it will be spirituality and spiritual solutions to practically ever problem on this earth. I know what I was in the past and it's not even remothly close to what Im today. But I will change this with peace, freedom and clarity. I do not want to stagnate in life, I want to grow so badly but I think Im doing everything oposite. Im really disconected from myself deeply. I stopped doing many things that I loved and enjoyed doing. I feel like Im living some kind of mediocre or even below mediocre life and the potential for me is great, and thats the most painful thing to realize. You are capeable of doing many things but you are doing none of it. Beauty, intelligience, character and Im doing nothing with it. Im not doing everything I can and everything thats in my power. Im just on a stand by, waiting for the perfect moment and indulging in self-deception that Im doing something just by being huge information consumer. Definately, I must shift the table upside down and become highly pragmatic as I belive that I have enough knowledge for 3 life times of average human being. Just start putting it to the practice and start with spiritual stuff as it is the most powerfull one. In the next time period, I will poste a challenge for me to integrate my pragmatic self-side. The list will consits of few little projects that I need to get done within the deadline and I will prove myself that I can build self-discipline in order to build freedom. The list is integrated in commonplace book as "Smart Goals" in a form of small/big tasks or projects that I will need to achieve and to keep going and working hard.

Best case scenario VS Worst case scenario

Entry: #005 Date: 15.09.2023 Time: 11:32 PM Integrated in commonplace book? *** Not Yet. *** Updates: / Journal: No PMO / Hard Addictions Subject: Leaving pornography, masturbation and any other "wierd" or "sick" habit coupled with sexuality that I have. Eradicating all fetishes and kinks that might be harmfull to a healthy romantic relationship. So it got to the point that Im 30 days partially clean and I will explain what that means to me in a couple of moments. In the past 30 days I did not: I did not opened any pornographic site and indulged in any sort of hard pornografic content I did not used my "favorite" or to better say "most pleasurable" pornographic sport - Exposing myself online to strangers (Usually web cam sites) I did not searched pornografic or sexy* content on google I did not searched sexy images on any platform or social media such as instagram In the past 30 days I did: Exposed my self out of curiosity and out of inner assurance that "that content is not porn", searched and viewed AI Porn/sex like images (2 times) Struggled with lusting in public places especially in public transportation as I was deprived from my old sex/porn habits I had a few boners while I was sitting in a bus around hot/sexy girls I was lusting a lot while in busses and public places, struggling a lot when I come home after lusting episode Masturbated while I was at my workplace which was pretty shamefull thing to do Masturbated 5-8 times during the whole month, usually in crisis and strugle times Got blowjob and handjob from my girlfriend, had sex 0 times last month Touched myself over chlotes while I was in the car traveling as I lusted in a public on some girl, eventually cummed (Pretty shameful thing to do, not going to repeat it ever again!) At least, there were no big secrecy and hidding in our romantic relationship, I really was at least 95% honest with my partner except for couple minor things as masturbation and touching myself. As far as this month is over, I feel like I made some progress but sitll Im sturggling a lot more in public places then ever before. From here, I need some plan, strategies and tactics to get over next month as CLEAN as POSSIBLE. For the next 30 days I will enroll in this self-made challenge that SHALL transform my life and to certain extent REWIRE my brain. It is absolutly forbbiden to do these activities: Acting out in public places in any way Getting boners around girls Heavly lusting in public Masturbating at workplace and any other places that is not my home Using pornografic materials any sort - Porn sites, webcams sites and any other that includes digital nudity No more google image search, quoara sexy questions search, erotic text pornografy, light pornography No more instagram searches or any other app searches for sexy stuff The number one thing to rember in the next 30 days is to stay clean in the head. Recovery is possible for me, I just need to be patient and to proactivly avoid temptations and as many times as needed, just say NO to: Others girls - you only have one and it's your loving partner. Porn Sexy stuff Naughtiness Kinks Fetishes Sexuality in general, anything related to sex. It could be sexual thoughts, fantasies or anything else that comes from being sexualy aroused other then your loving partner In case of hardships, call your love and always be honest to her. She will sooth your mood and urges more efficiently and healthy then anything else on this world probabbly will. Other then that, use next 30 days to WIRE your brain to: Phyiscal Training is a big must. Go to the gym, run or go do street workout, but lose that sexual energy in a good and healthy way Deep Work is second big must. Put in a couple of hours daily/weekly into your prusuit of happiness, you deserve your dream career and it's possible to you Think Deeply, sit down and meditate on some problems you are facing, contemplate the meaning of life and death. Ask yourself a profoundly deep questions and investigate your soul to the core. The most important things to keep in your head is to NOT LUST in public and STAY SAFE at home. Other useful habits: Meditate Take cold showers Breath deeply Have a good nights sleep Have a strong mornign routine Have a gentle evening routine Read read read, everyday read books and research content that you like Reduce screen exposure on your phone or your PC Write, journal about anything you want Sit in the silence Practice mindfulness meditation Build commonplace book Cultivate a vision, write down your mission declaration, work on your life purpose Start making commonplace book creative output Eat healthy foods Sleep well, stay hydrated Etc... Anything healthy in general Avoid unhealthy habits: Avoid fast foods Avoid snacks Avoid sweets Avoid sugars Avoid sodas Avoid TV movies/shows Avoid Gaming Avoid social medias Avoid bakery products Avoid smoking Avoid drugs Avoid gambling Avoid impulsive shopping Many other things to avoid...Anything unhealthy in general Be bored, stay bored and accept it. Don't procrastinate. Do usefull stuff. Practice doing nothing and being happy about it. Start socialising with other people. Exit your comfort zone and do at least one thing you are not comfortable with. Build healthy habits, stay in shape. This is my plan to leave PMO for good, once and for all. What I need to do now is to reboot and rewire my brain for 90 more days. This will be my main quest and most important task further on for the the next couple of months. Honestly, if I can leave pornography and sexuality behind in my life and desexualize my brain, I can do literally anything with my life. Currently what Im lacking the most in my life is: Practical implementation of knowledge I have acquired over the years and that Im acquiring right now More practicality in my life, I need to be far more pragmatic person, I feel like Im far more comfortable with theories then implementation Strong will to say NO, to persist and perservere through any hardships in my life Self-discipline to implement habits that will push me towards self-actualization Conclusion is that I need to ask far more questions regarding pragmatic approach in life and to IMPLEMENT practices and techniques. Tracking: Day 1/100 - 15.09.2023 90% Clean (small amounts of lusting in public) NoPMO Checked Day 2/100- 16.09.2023 <input>

Entry: #004 Date: 11.09.2023 Time: 10:54 AM Integrated in commonplace book? *** Not Yet. *** Updates: Journal: Ideas Subject: Journaling Ideas - Expanding on what to journal about This is the list which I will update regularly. It will consists from all the ideas that I brainstormed on which I could expand in this journal. Golden Nugets of Understanding - INSIGHTS Golden Nugets of Knowledge and Wisdom - Resources and Ideas Contemplation Journal in which I will contemplate and brainstorm great ideas and resolve all issues that are bothering me, creating solution for every problem in life Sudden IDEAS on how to implement something or how to solve some problem that is impacting my life Life Memories - I could expand on my past, dig deep down on who I was and how it shaped me to the man I am today, to dig up valuable lessons from the past, to make peace with the past, the ressurect memories from the childhood, it could be pricless thing to do Journaling about the progress Im making in areas of focus, deep work sessions results and progress in all six areas of building skills and expertise: Self-actualization, Personal Development, Psychology, Web Development, Piano Mastery, Workout & Running To be continued...

Entry: #003 Date: 10.09.2023 Time: 12:33 PM Integrated in commonplace book? Yes Journal: Life in General Subject: My Family That I Love Significantly Im listening to Handel, to one especially dear piesce of music but ultimatly sad. I've been thinking about my parents that while observing that they have around 60 years, both of them, my mother 59 and my father 62, it made me really sad to think that I have only maybe 10-20 years to spend with them and after that Im going to be alone. No single connection except probabbly with future childeren, could be that strong. Im literally crying while writing this as it's very frightening to think about losing your parents, especially when you have very loving bond with them, viewing them as your closest friends that wants you no harm, and wants you all the best in your life. When I think what they had to sacrife for me to be able to have normal and happy childhood. This life is just hard and the dificulity of life increases as years increses. This thought of me losing my parents, and the thoughts of them not being able to have peacful retairment due to bad financial situation is just killing me. I really want to help them out, I want to transform our lives gradually. But I know that I just wont be able to do the best stuff if Im lazy, if Im procrastinating on my life purpose, on my career. I just get it that I want to work really hard, it's needed and expected from me so I wont have any regrets later of being able to do something in the past but not doing it due to ADHD, being INFP personality type or being bulied and sexually abused as child. I do not want to complain. I have really strong reasons to live my life to the fullest and not wory about the stuff Im worrying right now. As a man, when you do your truely best, you just know it in your core of your being. It feels right. So right now, I know Im not living my best and I need to change that in the course of the next few years or decades. There are many things in my life I need to get rid off, to clean up certain parts of my life (to purify them), to organize, build and improve life with higher qualities. My idea is to work hard every second of my time. What would even mean to work hard every moment of my free time? To not waste time To not procrastinate To not be lazy To commit to action every single day To increase work load and time spent working day by day To reduce time wasting gradually over time, by spending that time doing something useful To work under pressure and stress To work till exaustion To work on your life, life purpose, finding meaning in your life, building grand vision and writing mission declaration To often review your daily quests, mission, goals To often visualize success, your ideal life To eliminate hard addictions / soft addictions and generally speaking any deceptin, lies or distractions from my life To do the things I like to do To push myself over my limits mentally as well as Im pushing myself phisically To be intrinsically motivated through life I deeply belive that it's possible not just to DO something usefull in every single moment, but to USE every moment wisely. That would mean to be more consciouss in your life of yourself and how you spend your time in general.

Entry: #002 Date: 10.09.2023 Time: 1:12 PM Integrated in commonplace book? Yes Journal: Running Journal Subject: Belgrade 10k Nike Run Yesterday was the race day, I did run my 10k at 55:46, my overall score was 682 which was not that bad considering that there were over 1.400 participants. Generally speaking, it was a nice experiences altough I was triggered a lot by my worst fetish - yoga pants. For ignorant addicts that would be paradise as there were many girls if not almost all in yoga pants and leggings but for the addict that is trying to fight his addiction, it was a struggle, sort of mini hell of that much exposure to the thing that is making me horny 95% when I look at it. Nice thing also was that my mother was there for me, to hold my stuff and wait for me on the finish line, take a picture and be support to me. Im also glad and grateful for the mom and for my girlfriend which was also supportive, not being there in person, but supporting me remothly. I just figure out that I will probabbly race till I die. Even in those old years in which I will be grumpy grandpa, I will still race and run as I feel really FREE and like Im acomplishing something. It's also gorgeus and magnificient to have something that you are working on and to see the progress over the years. To invest and build something that is healthy and meaningful, because yeah, for me, I find meaning in running as Im pushing my self over my current limitations. Running is making me alive, but also it's making me become better version of myself. All important deceisons, at least majority of them, came from the mind that was inspired during my running sessions. After all, there are many benefits, and the most important one is I think ability to hardened your mind. To make your mind more sharper, more focused, more calmed, more clear of thoughts. Somestimes, while Im running I feel like Im meditating and other times, I feel like Im in a war with myself, and there are also times when running feels like healing or source of inspiration. It's a beautyful sport. Currently, I have total of 3 medals in my arsenal, and I will continue to build stregth, improve my results over the course of the next few years or decades and definatly, Im going to collect really a lot of different medals that would mean something to me, that will shape the image of myself better, as it will be undeniable proof that Im pragmatically working on myself.