Keyhole

The comet similarity is a coincidence. Eff you and your unsettlingly accurate Ni Truths. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhairava There's even the dog. It's possible, I will have to observe it more. I can feel such a fate being on the edge of my death. https://devdutt.com/articles/kal-bhairavaes-dog/ https://www.hindu-blog.com/2019/04/lemon-offering-to-kaal-bhairav-form-of.html Lemon flower offerings for this deity. I had a chihuahua named Lemon who died from a hernia, my ex most likely kicked her... could be. Compared to many, I wouldn't consider myself to be a high-level sinner; I am not entirely convinced but the shoe fits. I wonder if the legion is an indication of the many heads these things take? That seems to be more in line. Something holding old karma, memories that will come back at some point at the worst time, "Here have this." That's probably exactly what is going to happen is that at the opening of that door I will have that last minute for all of it to come back.

@Preety_India The super ego is what holds all of the negative self talk that people put on you. Check out RG's work on it, he has some good stuff on this. @Nahm Nice, I guess they were pretty self aware too. Good job on them.

@Preety_India I do too, she is very mellow. I like her demeanor and she described things quite well pertaining to the 'wad of incorrect thoughts' that bad experiences can leave us with. I see. Do you have an understanding of the ego, id and super ego? This can be helpful when working with folks who are dealing with mirroring, projections and the like. I'm still a neophyte when it comes to understanding it, but I am finding it beneficial. It would work well with your stuff because many of the blocks that people have in creating this for themselves are due to how these three interplay. The move is SOOO good, I was really surprised! @Florian Yeah, there was a lot out there - and a lot of different types of psychopathologies that I had never heard of to have to weed through. It did set me on my spiritual path, so that's good. Kind of dovetailed into that, which it seems like a lot of folks recovering from end up on a journey like that. I was reading up so much on it because I wanted to cure him of it so he could love me.

Haha, no I'm just generic garbage. Honestly, I didn't do it myself, I have spirit guides - if I do something that doesn't go towards Truth - then I will get an indication that I am going in the wrong direction during an awakening or in a dream or I can just feel if I am doing it wrong - but to be honest, there is still a long ways to go. Maybe in a few years it will be resolved. The conditioning part is well documented by Freud - he called it a toxic super-ego. It is the programming that your environment and parents put into you. Honestly? I journal very openly with myself and don't hide anything from myself - and then I open up YouTube, and in the recommendeds there will be videos that can help with this that are spot on, and the more honest I am, the more on point the algorithm is and so I use what I find from there to help heal. Because it is a learning machine, you can even reenact your trauma, and the suggestions that you get will go opposite of what your ego wants - so I had a reaction not that long ago, and this is what I was given in return: And it's just, you know, a robot, so it is programmed for efficiency not judgement and will spit out whatever you need in order to work on your shadow. The more detailed you are with yourself, the more accurate it will be for you. If the algorithm gets stale, which sometimes happens, you can have multiple accounts that you connect, but leave alone for weeks at a time, and those ones will have fresh suggestions. Sometimes you do have to weed out suggestions that bolster the ego, but this gets easier over time. I connect it to my Instagram and deviantart as well so I can find artwork that fits in with what I am working on, and then sometimes a song and a picture will come up that has a transcendental quality to it. My self awareness comes and goes, depending on if I feel judged. So if there is a sense of judgement, then I get paranoid and can't see straight and still have a very long way to go with that.

Was it from her own narcissism or was it that the other person had brought it into her? What I have noticed is that you can be codependent, and then over time the traits will fill up the spaces where you don't know who you are with narcissism traits. Have you seen the movie SOUL? It is a good analogy to how this works. Yep, I do this, too. I think it comes from being pitted against others. And it comes and goes depending on the type of environment one is in. For me, it comes not from a place of initial comparison, but from looking for that in others and then it tends to become a big mess. My first instinct is to 'fight' because nothing else worked in the past, it just became ingrained as the best method to run away quickly - like a paper tiger. Or something that puffs up but is actually really quite small. It seems to me though, like a lot of people do this. Are you sure that comparison is not more common than you think?

@SamC That's true, can't argue there. Looking over my own posts, I can see some inconsistencies with my words. It comes from a good place - I've been questioning my own narcissism for a while, and got stuck in a personality disorder cult and fought it for a good part of 2020, and during that process I learned a lot. It is as though folks get stuck in a mud slinging paradigm. And these things can also kind of worm their way into you, even if your personality is initially different. I have been having a hard time gauging my personality because I don't have a good sense of self. A lot of the symptoms you posted I relate to, except that I tend to look into them openly, as in, I am aware of my flaws. Although I question if I can change them. My biggest fear is that people will get stuck in this, and that folks will forget to look inwards - it can become addictive looking for these signs. I feel a bit wary now, when I see this, because I found that many in the communities for recovery happen to actually be these sorts of people. And so that is why I wanted to broaden it a bit to include the entire spectrum of what this mind virus entails so that this situation does not happen. I have a tendency to be talking to people and also working through some mind problems within myself at the same time - so when I see similar threads, I feel the need to reenact it to get a better understanding of what it means experientially. I genuinely believe that there is something going on with humans that is causing a form of almost psychotic like division that people are not paying attention to. And I am both victim and perpetrator of it - I think it is a uniform energy - an archetypal type of energy. I am worried that the human race is going to become very weak if we can't see it, and that something major could happen and none of us will be strong enough to face it, or even see coming because we will be too busy fighting each other. I feel a strange pandemic when it comes to this. I worry that no one is immune to it. Here is a good example of what I did that could be similar to this situation - so I was arguing with someone on here and I was triggered by, basically a slew of traumatic things that I have been running from for years - I kept all the signs of it, and listed them outwards on this person - and instead of throwing it back, they internalized it and looked to see if it was within themselves. Just like with what you have done. So... what if I am wrong? And in these moments of blindness and not seeing myself, someone takes to heart what I say and then affixes that onto themselves? And then it just spreads. But I don't feel narcissistic. I don't want to be more special, or more important, I just have a series of actions that I grew up with and was raised around that have solidified. So in this case, how do we make people so strong within themselves, that when this happens from others, they do not then become carriers of that person's pain? Because it is not my intention to have people carry my pain for me, it just seems to be how this plays out. I score lower than average on narcissism tests also. @Nahm@SamC Yes, as I was writing this, that is it. it is like, to heal it, you have to have a strong identity. The thing that creates narcissism is the same mechanism that allows it to control you in a relationship. It is an actual energy that can be interacted with, it works through the collective shadow as a whole. It is something that has gotten out of control in human beings that we need to see not from a divisive standpoint, but from how it can come about within you, and then you won't be subject to it's influence. It works through co opting the inner monologue of human beings. It pretends to be a part of the personality. Have you noticed that when it works through people, that those who have it all talk and react the same way? it has a similar thought and writing structure? Like a legion almost. So yeah, I am thinking that the inoculation for it is a different sort of internal monologue as Nahm is saying. To give an example of this - because your inner reflects your outer, sometimes the shadow can take on seemingly a life of itself. I woke up half asleep in the middle of the night to see a dark shadow, which is my exercise equipment, but in that moment it was a reflection of my fearful internal state and it told me point blank, "You can see me because you have an unaddressed darkness in you that you are not working through." I am and have been building up momentum for a new train of thought, but I am not quite there yet. It is on the very tip of my fingers, and I want to try it and move with it and see what happens. What Nahm was saying about LOA with his dream board is what machine elves told me as well in this video here: Do you see the way they are moving like that? They are a unified centralized point of awareness that can split itself into many, and they weave consciousness/love and coat themselves in it equally and move with universal flow. Our emotions work in the same way - so rather than being run by them, we are supposed to feel into the very depth of it and have the same level of nuance, from a heightened place. Our species should be moving in that similar pattern. They are legion, and we can be, too. They say for each human it is an internal process. But we each have an immense amount of power to shape the future simply by being aware of our emotions. (I suck at the btw fyi) You can see all the various nuanced feelings that they have created, like a show, everything is a meme that we are supposed to be gathering to share knowledge with one another in this choreographed way. The thing that is stopping us from seeing this and working in such a way are these false defense mechanisms that humans have been infected with. When LOA works its best, we synchronize. We dance. (I'll try to live by what I say but it isn't the easiest thing...)

@SamC You're parroting right now. Narcissism is within everyone. That is what wetiko is. I would argue that the information I have presented would help people much more than what you are trying to do. If you're not in a nondual state, then you have some narcissism within you. As someone who has been down the narcissism trail, until you look within, these things are nothing more than a dead end leading to paranoia. Narcissism is being split up into way too many different little subsects, when the mechanism of it - wetiko - can be easily summarized and looked at as an egoistic division. A mechanism that makes people think that there is more to lose then there really is. It is something that feeds on the illusion of loss. And that is where people need to look. The narcissism itself is not important, neither are all these different variations of it. You can't actually see narcissism properly until it has been mended within yourself. I say this from personal experience, that these things are a rabbit hole leading towards distrust of others. I know how this virus of the mind works quite well, from personal experience and dealing with it in the outer world. In fact, I am almost ready to move from a non-wetiko place, just finding the right spot to move from, and from there I will be able to move with flow - an internal compass. That's what people need at that is what Wetiko bars you from is being able to feel and use that compass, and you have to look within to understand how this virus works. It splits itself into many different names. Categories. It comes from collective trauma. This beast needs an entirely different way that humans approach it.

Narcissism is the new witch hunt. Places like this become polluted with anti-narcissism sentiment, while no one is willing to look for it within themselves, which, coincidentally, is exactly how narcissism functions. Keep in mind that this is a very rare disorder and there are many disorders out there that can have similar signs. I'm curious now and am going to start watching folks that seem suspicious, who get into these sorts of threads, because I want to see how many are talking about themselves. I am genuinely curious to see how this plays out - coming from someone who had done over 5k hours of research on narcissism back in 2015/2016 after a relationship - I can scan for this stuff pretty quickly. Narcissism will never vanish from society until people look within. That's just how it goes. I propose that anti-narcissism sentiment is being used to cause people further division and that idiots tend to fall into this trap. No one can see that it has become a bit of a collective paranoia? That everyone seems to be the innocent one who got duped by the horrible, terrible meanie? Why is that? I propose a experiment for you guys... don't become a part of... but observe personality disorder cults from a distance and how these people act in groups when discussing such things and see what sort of behavioural patterns you can glean from this. It is much more insightful than reading on narcissism, to watch a pool of these fish interact in real-time. Now watch how a new group reacts when one of these fish brings it's new parasite to another group. The collective insanity could just be lumped under one category. Wetiko. You look for it from within. Part of it's mechanism is to keep you looking outwards. That's how narcissism works... like... duh.

China is a powerhouse, I think they will be fine, just my 2c.

I liked tsuki's answer and response to Preety pertaining to needing reassurance. This is the first time in all my years here that I have not seen someone act like an emotionally retarded idiot when it comes to what trauma survivors are looking for. Gaslighting has a certain flavour... If you are around it too much it will give you a nervous breakdown. I had an ex who gaslit... he would lie, move objects around the house to signal certain things he wanted to say, used my money, tried to get me kicked out of my home, I have graffiti outside of the for sale sign on my place that is too specific to have been done by a stranger, he would record me on his phone and make up lies to send to the cops when I tried to kick him out and he would make up stories in these to refute, beat his ex with a hammer, recorded us having sex when I was too drunk to consent, used my money on drugs, lived off of me for free and when I tried to kick him out threatened me, and made me feel alone by making me out to be the problem, ect, ect, ect, I'd listen to his childhood sob stories for hours but he never got to know me - I was under the impression if I just changed myself that he would love me so I created a false image of him to fantasize about while dealing with the harsh side. He did drugs once at my place and talked about his father, turned over in the chair to sit away from me and I could tell he was acting and then the truth hit him and I saw he was just a wimpy little boy - a pitiful little shrimp. He went into the bathroom and picked at a zit for three hours... I lost respect and the spell was broken. Huzzah... I am emotionally upfront and honestly vulnerable - it hits a nerve when I see people play acting. I'm over it, but that is run of the mill gaslighting behaviour. I've dealt with it a lot. What I have noticed is that two people usually gaslight each other. One is often very subtle, the other then becomes outwardly 'loud' about it, and it goes on in circles. I don't believe that most people are exempt from these behaviors. I think that people just lie to themselves and pretend like they don't do it and everyone else does. And that's why you have like, everyone in the world claiming to have dated a narcissist even though it is a super rare mental disorder, and so many other ones overlap - both in personality disorder and psychotic disorders. That said a lot of people do gaslight on this forum and the reason for it is that this is a marketplace for people to share ideas with the hopes it will infect another person's mind with something. Most folks don't want to learn, they just want to teach - and so you have a bunch of folks vying for the spot of being able to be the one to get another poor sob to "see the light". I can't tell you how many times I have run into "you're doing it wrong" after having a paradigm altering awakening. Or coming back from a flashback to find it being scrutinized when repressed trauma coming up is the norm for this journey. It's annoying. The problem with this place is that people here have issues with vulnerability. Really.

@modmyth My experience with Chinese people has always been pleasant tbh, I have never been mistreated by a minority. Ever. Only white folks, oddly enough. My experience with Chinese has been limited, but they are very nice - in middle school I had to do a project with a girl who was a second generation immigrant. Her grandmother made us a huge dinner, just because I was there, to show off the traditional Chinese cuisine. It was actually the very best meal that I have ever eaten in my life. I think about it still, to this day. I have not had anything better since that dinner. What is happening isn't a China problem, it is a human condition problem - we are all genocidal, all cultures seem to have this to some extent, at least all that I know of. I have heard horror stories about folks from other cultures marrying into traditional families, though - they say sometimes it does feel like being brought into a small cult.

You, as the person you are sitting there have the ENTIRE universe within you. We are all of you. And if you move with flow, this benefits the whole. You are it. You are the saviour. The highest excitement will lead you down a path of understanding the interconnectedness of us all. You won't find it by thinking about it, it will come from your soul in between your heart in 4D space and it will hit you and you will Know. Your soul will tell you on the spot. And you must follow this. From a universal perspective, with excitement and joy in your being. From there - your mission will end up becoming something that can help all of humanity. Do I follow this? No. People won't let me. But I may crack into it anyways just to spite them.

Human beings are terrible. Why do we do this? Is it ever going to change? Now, with nuclear weapons, countries can do whatever they want. And you can't even fight back! You can't even help them. There is so much suffering in the world, when will it ever end? Why is our species like this? We should pray for them. Prayer is a good way to change things, prayer with strong intent. How to pray:

@Leo Gura Because nothing says "Rob me and while you're at it, cut out a chunk out of my forehead like a rhino" like sticking a 25 million dollar diamond in the center of your forehead. Maybe humans deserve to go extinct...

@mandyjw I'll PM you, one moment. I'm glad to know this.

This is timestamped - mute it. Loop this and play it and then watch without any judgement or any ideas about death at all. What does Death mean to You? What do you feel happens? In your body? Follow that trail of intuition. "I don't know." Keep it as open ended of a question as possible. Let whatever answer comes up wash over you. Feel for the Truth. Everyone is Here, let them bring you Forward. Be as forward and present and open-hearted and honest as possible, until the interconnectedness of all things looks back at you. You want to literally feel into your own death while keeping your emotions as level as you can. Look it in the face. Feel it's acceptance, and that you don't know. Let the presence of death wash over you instead. No thinking. This came out minutes later - I'm on a role with this - I think I am getting it, somewhat.

?Click // Comprehensive Info on Bardo States "Technically" there is no time. But there is no time here, either. You will still have varying degrees of emotional and mental layers to go through after you die. If you "die" right now, then the illusion of time collapses. A dark room with just a violet light and some tea candles helps set the mood. The dream will become apparent and it should be clear that depending on where your consciousness is emotionally and mentally, that is where you will still be after death. Everything should then take on a "flat" appearance. You, as just a bubble of awareness becomes very apparent, and the ego will be way off in the back. The very last vestiges of the spark of life in the forefront - it will feel like a life force in the center of your chest, emanating from right Now, from I Am. From there, people can get a clearer understanding of what happens after death, for them. Memories of having been in the same place will often come back. Perhaps old life reviews or memories of past lives. Or the knowledge that we are nothing more than imagination, and the lucidity of the dreamworld will take center-stage. Death is more complicated than just going from one life to the other - perhaps some folks do this, I wouldn't be surprised, but my gut says that it will be quite varied. This collapsed effect will be similar to the effects used in this music video and using violet lighting can amplify this; I find this collapse to be most noticeable in doorways, or from the circular black lamp I use. It creates the effect of a flaming purple eclipse. When you find the "door", go through it and just keep going and going until you cannot go any further.: If you go into your own deaths through practicing Memento Mori, you can verify much of what will happen with your own afterlives. It shouldn't be as cut and dry as reading some material or taking another person's word for it, but really take the "time" to make that journey. See what you find... good luck. Kali - mother of time - Kali devours time itself, she is beyond time. The Alchemists represented Time as the planet Saturn. Return to Death as a loving child, approach Kali with gratitude, acceptance, humility. Audiobook of the Tibetan Book of the Dead That's quite literally all I got for now.

How to deal with outer and inner civil war - as above, so below Even doctors have moral scruples, and that certain patients confessions are hard even for a doctor to swallow, yet the patient does not feel himself accepted unless the very worse of him is accepted, no one can bring this about through words - it comes only through reflection and through the doctor's attitude towards himself and his own dark side - if the doctor wants to guide another, he must feel with that person's psyche. He never feels it when he passes judgement. If he feels it or says it, makes no difference. To just agree with the patient makes no difference. Feeling comes only through unprejudiced objectivity, this could be confused with a purely intellectual abstract attitude of of mind. It is a kind of deep respect for the facts. For the man who suffers from them and the riddle of such a man's life. A truly religious person understands this attitude. He knows that God has brought all sorts of strange and inconceivable things to pass and seeks in the most curious ways to enter a man's heart. He senses in everything the unseen presence of the divine will, this is what I mean by unprejudiced objectivity - it is a moral achievement on the part of the doctor who ought not to let himself be repelled by sickness and corruption. We cannot change anything unless we accept it - condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. We must not pass judgement when we desire to help and improve, and a doctor cannot help a patient unless he accepts him as he is, and he can do this only when he has already seen and accepted himself as he is. Most simply solution, simple things are the most difficult, in actuality it requires the greatest art to be simple and so acceptance of one's self is the essence of the moral problem and the acid test of one's whole outlook on life. That I feed the beggar, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy in the name of Christ, what I do unto my brethren that I do unto Christ - but what if I should discover that the very fiend himself is within me, that these are within me and that I myself stand in need of the arms of my own kindness, that I myself am the enemy who must be loved, what then? Then as a rule, the whole truth of Christianity is reversed, there is then no more talk of love and long suffering. We then condemn the lowly within ourselves and hide him from the world - we deny ever having met him. Healing may be called a religious problem - in the sphere of social or national relations the state of suffering may be of civil war and this state is to be cured by the Christian virtue by forgiveness and love of one's enemies. This must also be applied inwardly for the treatment of neurosis. Modern man has heard enough about guilt and sin, is beset by his own bad conscience, and wants to know how to reconcile his own nature, the enemy in his own heart and call the wolf his brother. The modern man does not want to know in what way he can imitate Christ, but in what way he can live his own individual life however meager and uninteresting it may be, it is because every form of imitation seems to him deadening and sterile that he rebels against the force of tradition that would hold him to well trodden ways. All such roads for him lead in the wrong direction - he may not know it, but he behaves as if his own individual life were God's special will which must be fulfilled at all costs - this is the source of his egoism - which is one of the most tangible evils of the neurotic state. The person who tells him he is too egoistic has already lost his confidence and rightly so, for that person has driven him further still into his neurosis. "If I wish to effect a cure for my patients, I am forced to acknowledge the deep significance of their egoism - I should be blind indeed if I did not recognize it as a true Will of God." I must even help the patient to prevail in his egoism - if he succeeds in this he estranges himself from other people, he drives them away - and they come to themselves as they should - for they were seeking to rob him of his sacred egoism - this must be left to him, for it is his strongest and healthiest power. It is a true Will of God, which sometimes drives him into complete isolation. However wretched this state may be, it also stands him in good stead for in this way alone can he get to know himself and learn what an invaluable treasure is the love of his fellow beings. It is moreover, only in the state of complete abandonment and loneliness that we experience the helpful powers of our own natures. When one has several times seen this development at work, one can no longer deny that what was evil has turned to good - and that what seemed good has kept alive the forces of evil. The archdemon of egoism leads us along the royal road to spiritual awakening. This is an observable fundamental law of life. An enantiodromia or conversion into the opposite, and it is this that makes possible the reunion of the warring halves of the personality and thereby brings the civil war to an end.