SLuxy

@Mz Hyde

Hi @Javfly33. That sounds tough af for ya. I fully relate to your position. What I used to do is plan a morning routine which works well if I do it. However, it was so hard to do! Instead, I plan a morning routine that I can likely do even at my lowest point! However, sometimes I miss days, and that is okay! I've attached a version of it I made for a friend of mine. Perhaps, it could be something you find of value :). Morning Routine 1.docx

@Mz Hyde I'm happy I could help! I'm excited to see where your journey will lead. Feel free to keep us updated!

There will be ways to combine all of them! At least to some degree. An example could be the following: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/arts-and-health/201406/creative-arts-therapy-and-expressive-arts-therapy

Pickup is such a non black and white issue. U'll preface this by saying the following. I agree wholeheartedly with the critiques of PUA that asserts claims of: 1) Toxic masculinity, and 2) Misogyny. However, Pick up, partially, feels a void left by society. Many people are left suffering by the current state of consciousness of current society, and the accompanying effects of this (i.e. poor parenting practices, lack of funding for public services). I believe pick-up has prevented 1000s of suicides around the world. It certainly doesn't solve the puzzle for people. By no means. However, it does give people some sense of a way out of the suffering of their lives. Personally, I didn't even know how people had conversation before starting pick up. It helped me with that. However, at the same time, I certainly fell into the trap of using it as a form of pseudo-healing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Perhaps, in some aspects, pick up can be compared to medication. It papers over the cracks. And one day if you want to live a beautiful life, you will have to abandon the medication, and work on your inner issues at a deep level. However, that medication can stop you from ending your life, and make you more able/ willing to do the healing work when the time comes. NB: This touches on PUA more with regards to the hardcase newbies. I was one of these.

@catcat69123 I'd advise two things. However, perhaps, keep in mind that I don't know your life story. So, no pressure to follow my advice . 1. Get involved in Stage green things, or with stage green people. Something like volunteering might be cool. Particularly, with animals as its less pressure. People are nicer at these sorts of things, and also its less intense as you can focus on actual helping of animals if feeling overwhelmed. @RickyFitts's suggestion sounds promising! 2. Start small Also, I'd, perhaps, start small. If the above is too much, or just not comfortable, then it may be better to start as small as you can. I.e. working in a book shop. There you have to be quieter, and its more relaxed. You'll be around more introverts as well. Even that may be too much, so keep adjusting based on what feels comfortable for ya!

@roopepa Glad to hear it! I like how intuitively done a lot of the facilitators here are: (Its like people are just being!)

Sounds great!

@Raptorsin7 Nice!

Hi guys! I understand the video is somewhat long. However, I do believe it is worth the watch! I'd say the approach you'll see in the lecture regarding 'The bundle of rights' idea and 'limited equity co-ops' is an example of stage yellow thinking. Its magnificent!

@roopepa Perhaps, a spiritual workshop facilitator. These could be done in various different places. Could have a team of people who do them. A general structure of the session might be cool. But you can also keep following your intuition on the vibe of the group and decide from there what you want to do.

1. Well said. However, the buck stops with the moderators, and Leo. The forum is a system. The vulgar language, and individually problematic users are symptoms of said system. Therefore, the way the forum works must be changed. Regarding change, Leo's response above is encouraging. 2. I will add. The nature of the forum is generally competitive, not collaborative. Some topics that are brought are, no doubt, not worthy of a reply. Or possibly worthy of condemnation. However, it is not right that all controversial questions posed be met with attack. One of Coca's recent posts was met with attack by various members, including Leo. However, the chap was quite reasonable when he felt understood, and was willing to change his mind. There is one specific change I'd like to see. However, I won't speak on it, right now.

Pyrrhonism may help you, friend. It will inform your view of the nature of knowledge. Is it possible to know something? Sextus Empricus is the book people tend to recommend. I haven't read it myself, and have doubts about its reading accessibility. However, I'm sure they'll be authors who have simplified its teachings, nonetheless. Note that Pyrrhonism is distinct from ancient scepticism, btw. Another angle is to look into meta-ethics. I.e. what is the nature of morality? Style questions. Unfortunately, I can't, in good faith, recommend any specific book.

@RickyFitts Thanks! Fascinating film. Oskar Schindler was a great man. Also, I echo the non-judgment.

I wrote another post a while back. I'll just copy and paste it here for you. Godspeed to you. "Hey. I feel you. Two months ago I'm in exactly the same boat. You know what to do but you can't seem to do it. I was in that place for years. You've read all about meditation, dopamine detoxes, exercise, social media reduction etc. The issue is you're looking for a massive change, a "slap" in the face. There is dogma around massive action in the self-help community, so its reasonable to expect that is where the solution to your problems are. There seemed to be this never-ending cycle of trying and failing to implement new habits. However, this allowed me to stumble on to something that actually helped me... Science. Taking things gradually is the way forward. You want to end up doing studying 6 hours a day? Start by doing an easy amount a day. Schedule it in. I'm purposefully not being straight to the point because I'm aware of a dogma in self-help community that you need to have a revolution. You'll likely feel some resistance to actually taking such a simple approach. Its not sexy. But its damn easy. Like super easy. But undoubtedly it will feel like resistance to do this, as it is different from your current approach. Keep in mind insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. Here are the practical points: 1. Accept where you are at 2. Make it so your word means something This means to have integrity with yourself. I'd advise getting yourself an A5 diary. Write down what you're going to do and make sure you will do it. However, make it easy. That's easy by your actual standards, not the standards of your ideal. So easy that you'll feel like your somehow cheating, i.e. you can't get yourself to shower normally, make your goal to touch your towel. 3. Watch and take notes on this video on motivation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tGZA-F1_n0 ( NB: The speaker is a Harvard Psychiatrist. Ironically this will take motivation to watch. Apply step 2 to it. I'd recommend you break it up into chunks of whatever feels easy. Key takeaway from the video: Motivation to do an activity comes from likelihood of success of that activity. 4. Watch and take notes on this video on procrastination: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavdneN9sKg How I came across these ideas: Something I came to on my own after years of trying to live my unlived productive life, by revolutionising myself. Various sources Behavioural Activation (CBT), see article for an explanation: - https://positivepsychology.com/behavioural-activation-therapy-treating-depression/ Atomic Habits - James Clear Instead of changing a behaviour, change your identity and do this by: 1) Asking yourself what are the qualities of someone who does what I want to do? i.e. studies 5 hours a day, they would need to be organised. 2) Prove that quality to yourself with small wins An organised person keeps their word. Clear recommends that a two-minute rule can be used. This rule means whatever habits you want to implement you only do it for two minutes per day. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Covey Covey argues that the self-help industry often goes about personal development in the wrong way. He explains that the industry tells us to go out and take a course on X, learn this way to be the most charismatic person in the room. However, this is the wrong approach. We must first start my changing our character and the first character change is to become proactive. The exercise for doing so is to start making commitments and sticking to them. Final Thoughts This is a guide. This helped me and while we are both human, we're also different. A big part of the change for me was accepting where I was at and this took a long time. You may be at that stage, you may not. Test it out for yourself. I do hope this helps you. The practical steps may not ultimately help you (though I expect they will), but more important is challenging the notion that your change needs to be a revolutionary rather than a gradual one."

Yoooo people! I'm looking to do a master degree abroad. However, your boy has very little money xD. Anyone know anywhere in the world that has very affordable fees for international students?

Perhaps, try Shinzen Young's 'Do nothing' meditation. I've found such relief with it recently.

Nutrition

The self is always coming through. If you act persistently because you are pulled towards her, it is more likely to work. If you act persistently because you are pushed towards her to meet your unmet needs, it is much less likely to work. Usually, it'll be the latter case. I'm guessing that is so for you. However, in actuality you don't want her. You want the state of consciousness that you perceive being with her would bring you.

Ultimately, all labels are artificial. Therefore, your label of being an addict is artificial. I'll be frank. You don't love cannabis, nor do you need cannabis. You need what cannabis gives you. What does it give you? It gives you an escape from your ordinary state of consciousness. You are addicted to escaping from your ordinary state of consciousness. I'd advise you try, 'Do-nothing' meditation. See Shinzen Young's and the Actualized.org videos on YouTube. You may then see your thoughts for what they are. I like to think of my thoughts as a 6th sense.

Thanks for the update via edit. What's your relationship like with the notion of, 'intuition'?

@Raptorsin7 Ahhhh gotcha. I made a mistake the first time bro

@Raptorsin7 Which post are you referring to?

Stage yellow example: Playing out from the back in football Traditionally, and intuitively, whenever a goalkeeper/ defender, when near their own goal, in football is under any pressure they were instructed to, or decided kick the ball long. See the video below, if unfamiliar. (Its timestamped purposefully, btw) Nowadays, however, many of the top sides instruct their keepers/ defenders to play out from the back. To the untrained eye it looks silly, and it looks as though the team is taking unnecessary risks. As it is now popular, I would not recognise stage-yellow integration in all managers who adopt this tactic. Instead, I would recognise stage yellow integration/ thinking in/ coming-from (1) Juanma Lillo, and (2) Pep Guardiola. (The former being Guardiola's mentor) Here is my breakdown. (Numbered concept, below, are copied from Leo's pinned post on the stage-yellow example mega-thread) 1. Nuance & complexity In the video below look a how the success of playing out of the back relies on each player fulfilling their individual responsibilities. And how their ability to fulfil their responsibilities relies upon other players fulfilling theirs. Also, notice how, at first, you don't see much complexity. You see what you think are just quick-thinking players. However, when the analysis is shown you see that everything is choreographed, expected, and pre-determined. 2. Open-mindedness On first reflection, it seems unnecessarily risky, and something that would derail the teams chances of attaining their purpose: Winning championships. In traditional times, it would appear ludicrous. Think how open-minded the manager must have been who first adopted this. 3. Novel concepts & POVs Traditionally, and intuitively, whenever a goalkeeper/ defender, when near their own goal, in football is under any pressure they were instructed to kick the ball. Therefore, its contemporary use is the result of novel thought. 4. Generating fresh insights Same as above. 5. Understanding Notice how in the video analysis, the approach would only work if the manager could accurately predict how the other team would react to their style of play. This requires a contextual understanding of the individual, and group tendencies of human beings. 6. Systems thinking Notice how everything is linked together. Each player is like a cog in the machine. If one cog fails then the machine breaks. 7. Sustainability, long time frames + Big picture vs technical analysis The manager sees their main objective as winning championships. The big picture is therefore winning championships. In the context of football, planning to win a championship is a long-time frame. The manager elects to play out from the back as they understand that doing so will increase the probability that their team will win the championship. However, non-stage yellow thinkers fail to understand this. Instead, they focus on technical analysis. They focus on individual incidents. ^ Here is an example of such a mistake occurring. All teams who play out the back, in the way I described, have moments like this. It is an inevitable part of the system. However, one deemed acceptable in light of how the style aid the achievement of the big picture goal. Here is an example of vilification of the style of play from a non-stage yellow perspective. I'd say a stage blue, here. (Strong attachment to tradition). Note how the non-stage yellow perspective fails to see the bigger picture. Particularly, see around 00:57, where the other presenter implicitly promotes the importance of improving probabilities, and this is ignored. 8. Creativity, outside-the-box solutions Prior to adoption by contemporary managers, playing out of the box, in said manner, was an unknown and laughably-perceived tactic. 9. Expertise, competence, experience The implementing manager must understand how the system works proficiently. Also, very stage-yellow, they must understand how to actually get the players to play effectively in this system. I.e. psychology of the goalkeepers, players etc. Providing morale when their are individual incident that threaten the individual, and collective egos of the team. 10. Context, learning from history The implementing manager learn from history so far as they identify that the traditional approach provides one output. For example, the main issue with the traditional approach was that, if the keeper/ defender did a long kick, possession would be lost quite a lot of the time. Less possession means more chance of conceding. Therefore, the implementing manager identifies that the traditional method of play implemented has a specific flaw. Then they work to rectify that. 11. Independent thinking An incredibly high percentage of Football/ soccer fans have not significantly integrated stage yellow. When the method is first implemented, the lack of understanding of systems thinking from the majority of fans will lead to vilification from many fans. Therefore, the implementing manager cannot rely on much external validation for their method. And, must maintain belief in their perspective, while their ego is threatened. 13. Neutrality: Being objective/impartial Similar to independent thinking. The implementing manager must remain focused on their ultimate goal of winning championships. Egoic ideals must be put to the side. 14. Designing solutions for the entire Spiral The implementing manager must implement an efficient system. In this context, an efficient system is one which maximises the probability of the club winning championships. The non-stage yellow implementing manager who masquerades as stage yellow will not achieve this. They will think they can 'maximise the probability of their club winning a championship' in the following manner: (1) If this system is implemented by the team, then the probability of this club winning championships will be maximised. (2) I have instructed the team to follow the system. I have done so to such a degree that they all perfectly understand their role, and their responsibilities, as well as the likely effects of the system. (3) Therefore, the probability of this club winning championships will be maximised. Even if (1), and (2) are true, (3) would not follow. The reason being is that the implementing manager has 'failed to provide solutions for the entire spiral'. That is because members of the team will be more integrated at some stages, and less at others. - (A) Example - The scenario For example, take a hypothetical goalkeeper. They are a mix of various stages. However, they are mainly stage orange. Their manager instructs them of their exact role, and they understand perfectly. They even understand how the whole system works, and endorse it. (Integrating a small amount of stage yellow in the process). The team begins the season by going on a three game winning streak. The team came under some fire at first from the majority of fans. However, it appears to be working, and some pressure has been taken off. In the fourth game, the goalkeeper has possession in the 60th minute. An opponent players rushes them excitedly. However, the goalkeeper, confident in their abilities and previous success looks to play the ball to the defender. As they do so, they slightly miskick the ball. An onrushing opponent takes the ball, and slots in an easy goal. The goalkeeper is distraught. They look at their home fans, and they look absolutely bewildered at him. They have a look of complete misunderstand! He hears shouts like 'We knew this would happen!'. However, the keeper regrounds himself. He remembers what his manager said. 'Mistakes are inevitable in this system'. The game goes on. However, as much as he tries the keeper can't stop thinking about the incident. 'Oh man... What have I done'. He resists the thought. However, it keeps going on and on. His ego has been gravely threatened. Shattered in places. The previous confidence of the keeper was very egoically based. It was derived of the obvious external sources. They lack internal-validation. Next, unknowingly, the keeper experiences an ego-backlash. The keeper begins to get angry at their manager. The game finishes the same score, but the anger turns into (what the keeper perceives to be) a deeper resentment towards the style of play and the manager. For the rest of the season, the team goes through various ups and downs. The keeper makes numerous mistakes, and so do the defenders. Many mistakes. These mistakes, as well as a diminished general performance of the team cause poor results. The fans are in uproar. They demand change. 'The style of play is stupid. Just look at the results'. The manager is fired, and the manager swears to never adopt such a style of play again. (B) What went wrong? How does this relate to 'Designing solutions for the entire Spiral', and responsibility? (i) What went wrong? The manager failed to adequately understanding of the outputs of the designed system. The reasoning is as follows: The manager failed to accommodate for the inevitable stage orange keeper's ego-backlash against the system. An output of the designed system was that, during the season, it was highly likely that the [highly stage-orange] goalkeeper would have an ego-backlash. The manager understood this output. To counter this backlash, the manager input into the system a response of (1) Logical reassurance, and (2) informing the keeper that mistakes would be inevitable. However, the effect of these two inputs was to make it highly probable that the keeper would experience an ego-backlash. Therefore, the designed system made it highly probable that the keeper would make more mistakes. Hence, the probability of the team winning championships would not be maximised by the manager's designed system. (ii) How does this relate to 'Designing solutions for the entire Spiral'? Only if the manager designed a system that provided effective solutions for the keeper's ego backlash would the manager have designed a system that provided effective solutions for stage orange. As seen, the manager did not do so. Therefore, the designed system did not effectively design solutions for stage orange. There was one main reason that the designed system failed to maximise the team's probability of winning the championship. That was that the designed system did not effectively design solutions for stage orange . Therefore, the main reason that designed system failed to maximise the team's probability of winning the championship was the manager's failure to design solutions for the entire spiral. (iii) Effect of not 'Designing solutions for the entire Spiral' In my view, such a failure would represent that the manager was not actually stage yellow. (C) An example of how a stage yellow thinker/ manager could have handled the situation Note: I'll refer to them as manager-Y Manager-Y identifies the likelihood of the style of play threatening player's egos. Secondly, Manager-Y implements a sub-system to identify the psychology of individual players. Finally, regarding preventing/ managing the keeper's ego backlash, they implement a technique for solving it that, in fact, has a reasonable chance of success. For example, outsourcing the task to connecting agent at the club. Therefore, there is, for our purposes, a major important difference between the two managers. Manager-Y has a significantly higher degree of understanding, regarding the complex systems, and this provides manager-Y with a much larger awareness of their system-designing responsibility. 15. Meeting people where they are at See designing solutions for entire spiral 16. Building bridges - 17. Social engineering See designing solutions for entire spiral 18. Ecological designs - 19. Reducing the suffering of living systems - 20. Pulling ideas from many sources - 21. Combining different ideas, models, theories Combines traditional general approach of football with this approach of playing from the back. Also, combines many different theories relating to the movement of opposition players. 22. Left-brained Clearly, so. 23. Vision & purpose, being a visionary Vision of winning championships. Being able to see something that has never been implemented before. 24. Requisite variety, mental flexibility - 25. Self-actualization - 26. Paradox - 27. Uncertainty There is a deal of uncertainty as to when the inevitable mistakes will occur. 28. Responsibility, independence, autonomy Responsibility and Independence (in context of independent thinking) mentioned above. Autonomy? Don't understand the specific spiral-dynamics meaning of the 'autonomy' concept sufficiently. 29. Being a lone-wolf Not met. Apart from in the aspect that manager works as an individual. Does have a team but they do not receive the criticism. The implementing manager must stand alone. Final Notes - Although, I copied this checklist from Leo's mega-thread on yellow examples, you'll see a few aren't included. I deleted some at some point, and bit to exhausted to keep curating this post lol. - Feel free to discuss points of disagreements - Nice one if you read this far xD. - Too tired to check for SPaG, either lol. Hope its okay. - Dashes mean that I do not think that that concept is satisfied

Loool oops misread the title! I'll keep the above. 1. Despair 2. Frozen in time 3. Beauty 4. Asserting one's right to be 5. A duty fulfilled (legit don't watch this, if you haven't seen gladiator xD) 6. Flowing with life 7. Beautifully shot 8. PTSD 9. Direct experience is king! 10. Stage-red unwittingly facing the stage-red-to-blue transformational dilemma https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/778b8a6e-df78-4087-bb86-5ca7d3dfc1cc 11. No words. 12. Dumb humour is the reason for life 13. Intriguing 14. Fatherhood/ Positive masculinity/ Trauma