Rasheed

The Cold Approach Dilemma: Leo said to approach 20 women per week. If I only approach women I feel are cute, I don’t think I would be able to reach 20 per week. At the same time, when I approach women who I think aren’t cute, I am building social skills but at the same time it feels boring. So, what to do?

1 million people live in a city which I am in right now…Should I move? probably, I am just a bullshitter. Wasting your guys time with these questions cause Today, I walked around 30 minutes around university buildings, I did 0 approaches, my ego mind is playing tricks on me. That thought of “creepy approaching machine” around university reputation is f****** me up badly now. I got 0 approaches this week as of right now. Sorry for wasting your time guys.

That was super helpful, thanks.

How to approach on a dance floor? I mean, when you open at the dance floor (not talking about bringing girl to it)…I don’t think this was covered in Leo’s series, but probably it was and I need to rewatch it. If it was, just block the post, because it is unnecessary…

Thanks bro, I don’t know where would I be without your expertise. After physical opener, Can I just be like: “Come, let’s dance together”? Or is that too logical and rational? I was in a bar last night dancing, I just opened up with “what’s your name”…I wanted to ask above question to dance but did not do it, thinking that kind of opener was way too logical, so that’s why I’m asking…

How do I date and do 'pickup' (by 'pickup' I mean cold approach, what Leo teaches in his dating series) in university? Basically, like I explained in my previous post, I do 1 hour cold approach session around university, after lecture, every single day I go there (basically, 5x a week). I have done that for 7 times already, including one 2 hour & 30 minutes session. Basically, what I am doing is walking around university buildings (university I am in has several buildings, like 5-6 buildings + another university is located close to it) and when I see girl which is either sitting or standing alone, I go ahead and approach. I got so many questions about what I am doing by doing this that it is hard to kind of explain. The questions which arose for me after I did this consistently for this week was that: Basically, If I go there and do 1 hour approach session after a lecture, would I not technically meet same girls over and over again? Another question which arose is 'How one is supposed date and do what Leo says in his series in university'. Question which came across in my mind was 'Is what I am doing actually correct way? (P.S. I learned everything I know from dating, from Leo's series on it, I know this is correct for a nighclub or a bar but for question is university) (P.S. Leo's series about dating is extremely powerful, amazing, life-changing without it I don't know where would I be at this point) Another thing I came across is that, I cannot approach and talk with girls during the lecture because that is against the rules. Next question I got is: Girls I would actually invite on a date i.e. like are often times in groups with other girls, not standing or sitting alone (This ties back to my previous post), but honestly I am ain't sure about that, maybe that is my bias. Another question which came to mind is that: When I do this 1 hour cold approach session around university, eventually I am going to come across same women and they gonna realize that I am basically doing cold approach session like this around university, over and over again and that technically should get me into trouble (by trouble I mean, that would be a turn off, because I will come out as needy), I am not sure about that as well. If you read everything until this point, you probably understand that I am confused. So, what to do? How do I date in university? How does what Leo says in his series apply to university dating? Is cold approach suited for university and when studying in university? Is what I am doing correct, or basically I am the only dumbass who does this, and I basically did not understand what Leo talked about in his series and I need to stop? Honestly, I can write more and ask more questions but scope of this post came to be long like the previous one, and I don't want to write another post since that would be like me spamming actualized forum. Spamming of course deserves a ban. I don't want to get banned from here because this forum is really helpful.... Thanks everyone, sorry if this is too long...

I get what you are saying but most people here won't agree with you on that point. Day game approach is good in malls, not in college campus like I concluded from what I have read here + what @Bando and @something_else said...What do you think?

Yeah, I thought about that as well...

'Should I also approach girls I don't really like?' --- That's my question, sorry that it sounds kind of low quality but let me explain the situation. After I did my first 2 hour & 30 minutes session during the day (it was around the university), I decided to do 1 hour cold approach session, 5x a week during the week, around the university (basically, after lectures, I go for 1 hour and approach girls). Basically, I am able to approach 5-7 girls in this type of session. Some of them don't want to talk, some of them want to talk, some of them are not interested, some of them are. With some of them conversation is 2 minutes long, with some of them I talked for 10-20 minutes. Thing is that since I want to do at least 5 approaches, I had to approach girls which I did not really like (by 'don't like' I mean, I did not want to date them, ask them for their Instagram and invite them on a date, therefore I did not ask for their contact information even though I had the opportunity) therefore, the question arose: Should I only approach girls I like? If that's the case (if I only approach girls I am attracted to) I don't think I am going to get frequency and volume right because Leo said in his dating series to approach 20 women per week. For example, this week I probably approached 20-25 women around university (they were university students like me as well), I probably only liked 2-3 of them (I got one's Instagram and asked her out on a date today but she told me that she is not single, so that did not work out. Truth be told, who cares? Leo is super right when he says to not get attached to any one girl). Since I only liked 2-3 out of 20-25 I approached, another question which arose: What does Leo mean by approach '20 women', are only women which count in this 20, the girls I actually would ask for their Instagram and invite them on a date? (again, I know I am repeating myself but to make the point clear) I am asking that because I approached girls which I could have asked for contact info and invite on a date but I did not because I did not feel attracted to them and did not want to do it. So, what should I do? P.S. I have another question about dating but I am going to write that question in separate post because I feel like I already wrote too much in this one. If that is not permitted by forum's guidelines, I will remove it of course. Thanks. Rasheed.

Thanks everyone for feedback I think I came out as that 'creepy approach machine', actually it happened that I approached one girl and after I talked for her for and got her Instagram, I approached another one, she saw it and I think that actually turned her off, cause I come out as that robot-approach machine...or maybe it is me projecting but I think, it has something to do with that as well. s So that means I should not practice cold approach around university buildings, for day game: mall, for night game: bars and clubs... Another question I had was: In your series Leo you said to approach 20 women per week, in order to do that this week, I approached lot of women I did not really felt attracted you, so my question was: What do you mean by approaching 20 women and should I also approach girls I am not really into... Truth be told, I think you talked about this point in your series and if that's the case sorry, I probably need to rewatch that series again because I only listened to it in its entirety just once. I did not get what you mean to be honest...

Today, I did 2 hours and 30 minutes cold approach session outside during the day. I did this for the first time. Basically practicing all the insights Leo talked about in his series about dating. Thing was that at the 90 minute mark my legs got tired. That is because I was approaching and walking around during this entire session. At the end of 2 hours and 30 minutes my legs were really tired. Therefore, my question is: Is 1 hour of cold approaching per session enough? I am asking this because I know and agree with Leo when he focuses upon importance of building your state while approaching. Is 1 hour enough to build a state? How long should each session be? and what should I do to avoid tired legs?

This is my opinion and point of view. Agree or disagree and explain why if you want. No serious (by serious I mean really conscious, developed both development wise and consciousness wise) intellectual, philosopher or psychologist will work at a university, be an academic and a professor. When I say university, I mean: TOP universities such as Harvard. I mean, they won’t work there. What do you think? Sounds controversial but I think this is true.

https://www.actualized.org/insights/elite-universities-are-a-scam

This is just a tip of an iceberg, I wrote in 3 minutes so….

I am telling you, this is easy Ken Wilber Leo Gura Rajneesh Ramana Maharishi Nisargadatta Gurdjieff Ouspensky Peter Ralston David Deida Krishnamurti Eckhart Tolle David Hawkins Many more I either don’t know or remember…Haha Kind of a weak list…guys add more to these list to help out the argument

No, that is my answer without any thinking. I mean you can find more examples of course or maybe my point is wrong, who knows…

Easy, in front of your nose: Leo here and Ken Wilber for example What do you mean by “impressive”?

In Ken Wilber's books, he has basically 400+ book in his bibliography. You can find example of it in books such as 'Up from Eden', 'Spectrum of Consciousness' etc...My question is: - Did he actually read all those books?

How to ask him personally???...Hehe, so I decided ask it here. @Nilsi Honestly, how can person do that? or how Wilber did that, I don't know, that is why I am asking...

How long should MANUAL spiritual practice such as Meditation (like do nothing or self-inquiry) be? I am talking about a serious committed practitioner who is ready to practice for 10+ years? Is 1 hour per day is enough? or it should be at least 2 hours or more?

I read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Primer-Freudian-Psychology-Calvin-Hall/dp/0452011833 Ken Wilber advised reading this book in his book 'No Boundary'. He has end of chapters his own book recommendations and I decided to read 3 books from each chapter's recommendation. I am a psychologist and I am self-educating myself into it therefore, I thought I would read this primer, then Freud's own 'A General Introduction to Psychoanalysis' and then Otto Fernichel's 'Psychoanalytic theory of Neurosis'. I finished this primer and I am not going to read any more of Freud or anything about psychoanalysis because I realized it is complete waste of time. His theory is complete hogwash, nonsense. Completely inaccurate and not only it is inaccurate theoretically, it has 0 practical value. Whole ego-id-superego theme is BS. There is nothing like that in your own direct experience. You can read this book and you won't get any practical benefit, it is way better to pick up simple, normal stage orange self-help book and you are probably going to get better strategies and advice, understanding of psychology than reading Sigmund Freud. This was my observation. What you think?

I agree 100%. What do you think about psychoanalysis, Freud and concepts such as ego-id-superego in general? I know you made a video about it, but that was long time ago, that is why I am asking.

Also I wanted to add that entire psychoanalysis got built upon study of abnormal men. And what essentially Sigmund Freud is doing is building a picture of an individual based upon his study of abnormal men in suffering and that creates very, very inaccurate and distorted picture. Realizing that, I cannot take any of these concepts seriously and it clearly shows me how they ain't useful.

But in childhood rational mind is not developed, formal operational appears 11 years and up, therefore entire Freud scheme collapses. In my opinion, childhood years way Freud sees it is completely overblown and out of proportion. Ego itself is illusory, now Freud comes up with id and superego. + look at relativity of concept such as superego, what if your parents are criminals, what happens then? I don’t see superego or id in my own direct experience. Honestly, Idk what to make out of this, at least as I see psychoanalysis is hugely overrated and it delivers for me at least no theoretical or practical value.

So, my major is psychology in university but since formal educational system is wea and self-education is where true learning can be found. I want to go this way as well: https://www.actualized.org/insights/going-full-autodidact My question is: - Is reading book from Leo's book list enough for psychology? What are other books I must read for this purpose?