About Me and My Relationship View
As a woman in her late 20's - nearly facing 30's-, I was keen on settling down. Whenever I jumped into a relationship, I always try to see it as something serious. Facing arguments and problems with clear communication and try to work it as a team. Because that's what I always believe, - that every problem is something that we can always learn from, something that makes us grow stronger. I have dealt with those "domestics" in this relationship, and I'm quiet proud of myself until I realize now that the test is actually getting more challenging for me.
How It Started
I have been in this relationship for 1 year and 2 months now. Not that overly long, however we started as a stranger. First time we met, we both agreed that we attracted to each other and keen to keep seeing each other. I didn't know him as much except from the story that he told me and so did he. It's only about 3 weeks until he told me about his feelings and his wish to keep this relationship going. Me, on the other hand, was confused and feeling a bit uncertain. I had been just recently broke up before I met him, and with little knowledge of this person whom I just met, I wasn't ready. I have higher vision of what is my ideal outcome of a relationship, -which I explained to him-. However, I finally decided to take the leap and started this relationship.
The Beginning
Everything went well in the beginning, we had our challenges, arguments, fights, but we also had our good time. He is not that 'perfect' man, his past wasn't very bright, he has an issue which might related from his upbringing. But as the time went by, I learned to love this man no matter what the circumstances. I accepted him as he is. We decided to live together pretty much around 1 month after our first date and we are still until now.
The Changeover
However things are changing now. We've passed that honeymoon phase and he started to say things that is completely the opposite. He slowly showed me his true self. He told me that the love is fading away, and he just wanna go back to live by himself again. We had a conversation and he said that he's tired of this attachments, which I understand. He doesn't want this relationship anymore. It was really hard for me in the beginning, but now I'm learning to accept it. Thanks to Leo, I watched his videos when I felt so brokenhearted and everything makes sense.
How It is Now
It's been nearly 2 months now since I first found out about his feeling and we still lived together. LOL. I know right, The story didn't just end on the previous paragraph. There are some reasons that still kinda "hold" us together, even though his love is not there anymore. First, we booked this snowboarding trip to Japan in the end of the year and second, we just signed up for another 6 months lease. I know that there are solutions to this reason, I can both just cancel the trip and find another housemate. But, I still haven't decided yet at the moment. I feel like I might just see how I go, even though sometimes I think that I will be more into get rid of him. He also said some things about wanting to still be friends with me. We had a conversation about the Japan trip and he said that even if we broke up before the trip, he'd still be wanting to go with me. He also told me that I'm a good woman and he admired me which I appreciated, but I still think that it doesn't make any sense. Dang, I think to much and I feel to much. Well at least he is following his heart and what he thinks he wants. "Anyone could know what they want, but not what they need", and in my case "It is probably what I think I want, but not exactly what I need".
I am not complaining about my relationship story, I threw it all out there because I'd like to hear an opinion, an advice, support, or even harsh feedback. Something that can help me look into it from different spectacles, and more importantly something that can help me improves. So thanks for your time of reading this, and please leave any donation (of your thoughts) into this post.
Kindly regards,
Me who is partly brokenhearted
