aurum

I wouldn’t necessarily seek integrity. That can backfire and turn into you moralizing yourself and creating a shadow for not being more selfless. That’s sort of the stage Blue “pious” trap. Integrity and selflessness are really just the product of spiritual development. I would commit to awareness, healing, contemplation, authenticity and discovering your “true self” instead. From there, integrity naturally arises because you’ll be in alignment. You’ll no longer be in conflict with yourself.

You already do, in a sense. “Everything is possible” includes that it’s possible that somethings are not possible. You don’t. This is how it should be. You want limitations.

That’s not a joke. Your first example was a joke. This is just you coming across as too forward / direct. A statement like that can work sometimes with the right girl at the right time. But obviously that wasn’t it. In general, different social contexts mean different kinds of humor are more appropriate. In some settings, you might be able to get away with more crass, dirty humor. In others, not so much. You have to always read the room and the person you’re talking to. Ask yourself: what is “normal” right now? And allow “normal” to be fluid and change at any moment. You can sometimes dictate what is “normal” in a group if you have a strong enough frame and people see you as a leader. But even that I find usually only goes so far. So pay attention to how people act in different contexts and get a feel for what is appropriate.

That doesn’t sound right to me. No reason boiled water should be turning white unless it’s just bubbles. You don’t need or want kilograms of minerals, just some. I’d definitely look into that. Couple of points here. First, don’t do it directly after working out if you’re interested in hypotrophy. There is some research saying a cold water immersion will essentially blunt hypotrophy due to the decrease in inflammation, which is probably what you’re referring. Keep in mind hypotrophy is not equivalent to strength, it’s more about muscle size. So it might be a concern if you’re seriously interested in bodybuilding. Either way, just wait a couple hours. Hit the sauna instead, that will actually stimulate HGH (growth hormone). Second, you’re not going to be building muscle if your cortisol is high and you’re stressed. The cold helps with that. That same reduction of inflammation in the right context is incredibly good for you, as just about all ill-health can be boiled down to some form of excessive inflammation. It’s also going to train your vascular system and challenge a lot of important processes in your body. So indirectly, it definitely can help you build muscle. With regards to your personal experiment, how long were you in the shower and how cold was it? There is sort of a minimum effective dose, and if you don’t cross it, you’re not going to see much effect. Likewise, if you go too cold or rewarm too fast, that can also reduce the benefits. Either way, cold showers are not the equivalent of shooting steroids. It’s not like you take them and then suddenly your biceps get a 1/3 bigger. Most of the benefits are less superficial than that. You can’t necessarily see how strong someone’s vascular system is just by looking at them. And the psychological / spiritual benefits can be subtle as well. You got to stick with it consistently over time to really get it.

@Roy Yeah JPs trajectory has been rough to watch. He went from making pretty funny and insightful satire on the spiritual community to full right-winger. Reminds me of Elliot Hulse. Not coincidentally, they’ve done some content together recently. I think we like to think of people moving up in consciousness in a linear way, always becoming more aware / spiritual. But it seems that is not the case. People backslide hard and regress as well at times. The scariest part of course is that these same people always believe they are right. And I also believe I am right, so what if I’m just as delusional? What if all the work I’ve put in has pulled me away from God/consciousness instead of towards it? I don’t think that’s the case, but I do feel it can be useful to consider as long as you don’t go into chronic, crippling self-doubt. To answer your question, five years ago I was in many ways a completely different person. I was just getting my feet wet with spirituality and having some of my first mystical experiences. I spent a ton of my time doing pickup. In general I feel way happier with my life and feel like my understanding has grown by leaps and bounds in the those five years. Extremely excited to see how the next five will play out.

@Katerina Riverside Love this thread, you look like you’re having a great time. I’ve been doing cold therapy for years but inconsistent about it. I’ve finally moved to a colder climate and now the consistency has started to come as well. I live in the city so getting to a natural body of water every morning is difficult. More convenient for me is the daily cold showers. Although it’s not quite the same as a full body submersion, I find it’s still more than enough to create environmental hormesis, which is the main goal. I’ve really started to love the cold. It has a sort of hypnotic, seductive element to it even though the discomfort is there. I can’t help but want to go in. The breathing is also lovely. I find it can totally reset me in just a matter of minutes if I’m feeling “off” or stressed. Really looking forward to seeing how this practice may deepen for me over the years.

RO is good but make sure you add minerals back in. If you’re going to spend money on that, you may want to check out Beautiful Water filters: https://beautifulwater.co/ Better than RO in my opinion. But it will cost you a bit. If you can’t afford it, I’d try to get a better quality glass water like Mountain Valley.

Check to make sure that your water has essential minerals / electrolytes. Otherwise the hydrating effects will likely be minimal if at all. And if you’re dehydrated, that’s going to affect your performance in the gym and your recovery after. Reverse osmosis water is usually not remineralized. Spring water is likely best. You can also just add a pinch of salt or some electrolytes. See how you feel. Be sure to at least eat some of your water in terms of foods that are high in water content. Shouldn’t really be a problem for you as a vegetarian. Also, if you really want to boost your gains and recovery, take a daily ice bath and / or sauna bath. Heat and cold is extremely good for you in small doses. Red light therapy is also an option if you feel you’re not getting much sunlight.

I mixed alcohol and game in college and high school. I don’t mix them anymore, but there are some obvious benefits. The first one being that alcohol puts YOU in a party mood. Your inhibitions are lower. You’re sort of in this “I don’t give a fuck about anything” mindset, and you tend to hang out with other people who think the same. You’re in tune with the party culture, doing what everyone else is doing rather than being outside of it. There’s this association with alcohol and poor decisions / partying / casual sex where that’s just kind of what is expected, even encouraged. But in a zen monastery or at a Vipassana retreat, there’s a complete different set of implicit or explicit expectations. Hence why people go to nightclubs to get laid and not the latter. Of course alcohol also has massive downsides, which is why I don’t do it anymore. It can ruin your health. It can be a crutch do avoid doing real inner work. It can make your decision making sloppy. Those “bad decisions” can make for a funny story when you’re in college. But as you get older, they start to get less funny and more consequential. Ideally that’s when people make a change. The good news is you really don’t need to drink. You can game sober and get just as good, if not better, results than being drunk. But it may be more challenging, especially at first.

@Javfly33 If you’re doing strict cold approach, it likely won’t matter much. She’s not going to know you live with three other women until she gets there. At that point, if she sees you interacting with them in a way that demonstrates charisma, it may up how much she wants to sleep with you. But by that point she’s already likely interested in you anyway. Where I think it could potentially really help you is in more of a social circle setting. They can introduce you to their friends or just be around you when you go out. Maybe they’ll invite you events you wouldn’t have know about otherwise. The key is you want them to both respect you and know that you care, kind of like a big brother. That’s when they’ll feel the most comfortable doing all that.

The good news is you’re learning what doesn’t work through your own experience. And if you internalize those lessons, it will subconsciously calibrate you in the future. This is why you can’t just blindly follow things you read on the internet and expect them to work in something as complex as socializing. To your specific problem, there is a fine line between insulting people and teasing/flirting. Guys with charisma know how to ride that edge AND pull back if they go too far. It can be a delicate dance because social interaction isn’t a static thing. There’s always different contexts, different people, different subtle nuances. And you’ve got to learn to subconsciously read all that in microseconds. Which is actually extremely easy once you get the hang of it, but can be challenging at first. There’s also the element of delivery. Sometimes what you said was fine, but your delivery (vocal tonality, body language) was totally off. In that case, it isn’t so much about what you said as it is how you said it. I’d say this is actually the more common problem. "you are so dumb that you must have a bean brain" -> did you give a cheeky half smile when you said this? Did you say it aggressively, or with a sort of sing-song tone of voice that would communicate to her “I’m just kidding”? Did you hesitate and look away? All of this, plus way more, matters in terms of how people will respond to what you say. This is why inner game becomes so important. There’s so many subtle variables going on here that it’s impossible to consciously be aware of all of them. But if your inner game is solid, a lot of these variables just solve themselves like magic. You don’t even need to think about it. Which is exactly the place you want to get to. So dial it back a bit. Remember, fun and light. You suppose to actually like this person. And keep working that inner game as well.

The way you get daily practice socializing is by socializing, not by doing crazy social anxiety drills though. Let that be your fear challenge. It’s more than enough. Something simple: approach one girl everyday. Look for girls in your classes, girls in line for things you’re in line for, the library, the bus, etc. That should be plenty fear inducing. If you want to still do crazy social anxiety drills, fine. But be smart about it. Maybe drive somewhere people don’t know you. I wouldn’t do it all day. It’s fine to do it every once in a while. But your intention should be on doing real, solid approaches. Not just saying “hi” to people and running away. That should really only be a warm up. In a way, it can be weirder than striking up a real conversation. Remember, the drills are drills for a reason. They are NOT good game and their end goal is NOT to get you to be like that all the time. Their purpose is just to loosen you up so then you can do real approaches and meet women with confidence. So don’t get hung up on the drills. They’re a means, not an end.

Of course. Those are drills, not something you should be doing all the time. You could maybe get away with it a bit, but there’s a limit. Yes, you need to be intelligent about it. Be more social and less aggressive and direct. Focus more so on making friends. Set up cool things and invite girls you meet to them. ??? Freshmen go to parties all the time. If you have 40k kids then you’re probably at a major state university where freshmen will absolutely be partying. If it’s really challenging and greek life is good where you’re at, join a fraternity. You’ll have an instant social circle and parties to go to. And you can invite girls you cold approach to those events.

You can find truth in what anyone says. I’m sure Kevin Samuels has made intelligent arguments at some point in his life. He may even have bits or pieces of truth. But overall, his content is geared towards stage Orange and “redpill” type dudes. He’s not someone I’d recommend to basically anyone. Maybe some people would find temporary value in it, but lord help you if you get stuck there.

You had it right the first time.

Here is a really nice talk just released by Rebel Wisdom’s Alexander Beiner: I suggest watching the whole thing, but here’s a quick TL;DW of his points: Psychedelics use is in the beginning stages of entering into the mainstream As such, it is at risk of being “captured” or corrupted by capitalism and our overall toxic stage Orange culture. In many cases this has already happened, such as fights over patents in order to corner the market Solutions: create an intentional psychedelic culture that values what we want it to value, as well as seek out alternative economics models. Overall the video gets a lot right. Tools to access God have always been corrupted since the beginning of time, just look at organized religion. And selflessness becomes twisted into acts of selfishness. If we could consciously create a culture that saw psychedelics as sacred and that upheld the values we desired, that would be ideal. My issue is that creating such a culture already requires a population with a certain level of consciousness. Lack of consciousness tends to generate more lack of consciousness and visa versa. As well, the problem with “alternative economic models” is that they tend to get stomped on by the current models, which Alexander acknowledges. I don’t have the answers here except to say that any psychedelic-induced mass awakening is going to take time. Expect backsliding, corruption and general ego mania. What do ya’ll think? How can we better usher in the age of psychedelics? How can we be better caretakers of these tools? How can we create a culture that will allow for psychedelics to be used to their full potential? What do we want that world to look like?

From what I’ve read, it does in fact sound like this guy is a tool. It’s a common thing for guys who were once “nice guys” to suddenly go macho-bro-alpha and talk about they have high standards and they demand this and that and blah blah blah. It’s basically overcompensation from their past. My gut says he is one of those dudes. Maybe has read some Redpill thinking at some point. And it sounds like his arrogance may have triggered your insecurity. You’re a perfect vibrational match for each other. I’d move on. It seems like you fell in love with a fantasy more than a reality. So your work is to discover why that might be.

What did you possibly say? You’d have to say something pretty serious for most guys to drop a date like that. If you don’t want to tell that’s fine, but it sounds bad to me. Or he is bullshitting and has another reason for canceling besides whatever you said. Either way, it’s a lot of pressure you’re putting on a first date. You’ve never met in person and you’re already feeling like he is your dream guy. In my experience, putting that much pressure on in the early stages of dating rarely leads to anything but frustration.

I lived in Miami for 6 years and loved it. The weather is basically perfect sunshine year round. And the girls are ridiculously attractive, with more of a mix of lots of tourists and locals. You can also easily game there 24/7 if you want like Vegas, but with more potential for normalcy. Miami also has incredibly high status, social circle game like Vegas or LA. Celebrities are always around and you can get pulled into some pretty crazy scenarios if you know a few of the right people.

@CodyXarex Church game, that’s a new one. I would simply practice basic socializing at this point. You are not in a conducive environment for doing cold approach at volume. Maybe every once in a while there will be an opportunity, but that’s not going to be enough to develop a skill set. Just learn how to interact in a social circle and date whoever you can. There is value in building basic experience when you are young. And then use your dissatisfaction for where you’re currently living as leverage to motivate you to move.

Then it’s time to get to work. It will take longer for you to get results but they will come. Be stupid, overly excited about even small victories. This will create positive reinforcement and encourage you to keep going. Do your best to honestly assess your situation and any mistakes you’re making, but then let it go. If you’re too hard on yourself you’ll burnout quick and want to quit. Practice self-love here. You can’t control the hand you were dealt, but you can make the choice to do your best and create your future. And fuck everyone who doesn’t understand that.

Yes you will miss some girls. So what? That’s why you need to be in an area where there is a bunch around. This way it doesn’t matter. Never once have I had to run up to a girl doing day game. I just walk and open whoever is along my path that I want to open. That’s enough. You can even just stand and open girls that walk by you if you get a good position. Set yourself up right. And if you can’t find an spot like this, then you probably should go to a new area entirely. Or just accept that your number of approaches will be lower. You can keep doing it if it’s really working for you. But you sounded concerned for your reputation. I mostly don’t do it out of principle and because I feel it puts subconsciously in the wrong mindset of “chasing”. A very quick, light jog might be okay in certain circumstances if you really wanted to open a girl.

@Vrubel This can actually happen. Even in a major city, you can approach so many girls that people start recognizing you. But it’s really not that big of a deal as long as your approaches aren’t overly atrocious and there’s enough people. Don’t run up to girls. I get checking your ego at the door and not make excuses to approach, but I personally draw a line here. You’re literally chasing girls. No thanks. You can also get away with a lot more in a night game environment. Part of the advantage of moving to a major city is that you get anonymity. Which is good if you know you’re about to do a lot of potentially cringe inducing approaches. Anonymity is bad once you know what you’re doing. Then you want to be known, and your reputation will do more work for you than your actual approaches. But if you’re new you may not be at that level yet.

@Fadious It depends on a lot of factors. What was your upbringing like? How much experience did you have being social and with women growing up? How is your self-esteem? How is your career going? Where do you live? How much of a social circle do you have already? Etc etc If those questions were all negative for you, then you’re gonna have some work cut out for you. The more of those boxes you tick the easier it likely will be for you. For the average guy, I’d say you could start seeing noticeable results in a couple months to a year if you’re hitting it hard. You may also get a lot of smaller wins before then.

You can experiment with the “player approach” that is Leo is describing and is advocated by most puas. Play the field a lot, and wait for one of the girls you’re seeing to choose you. Then if you want to date her as well, cut off the rest of the girls. But otherwise you don’t treat her any different than any other girl you’re seeing. This approach does in fact work. You can get a very attractive girl who you deeply connect with to fall head over heels for you this way. And that’s because you’ve flipped all the investment dynamics in your favor. She will be chasing you. She might be jealous of other girls you are seeing or she imagines you might be seeing. She might even explicitly text you for sex and you’re so blasé that you forget to answer her. One of my problems though with this “player approach” is that it can cause problems down the line. You’re setting up a pattern where she is constantly chasing you, which feels like you’re winning in the moment, but later on can create a needy girlfriend who always feels insecure in the relationship. And you don’t want that. Also, I find that this player approach tends to attract needy girls who may potentially have low self-esteem in general. This is what happens when you play power games. Girls who are more secure with themselves are not likely to continually chase you around and be so manipulated by you. Final problem with this approach is that it cuts off alternative ways of getting into a relationship that may actually be healthier. If you insist this is how it must be, than it will be for you. My theory at the moment is that your highest quality relationship will not be born from this approach. So experiment if you want. It could be a worthwhile experience. But you are playing with fire and will likely break some hearts this way. Another option is you sleep with a girl and then pretty quickly take her on a more traditional “couple” activity, like maybe a nice dinner. This will show her that you’re serious about you and her, and assuming she feels the same about you, you can progress to serious dating very quickly.