aurum

Of course it is. There is no way you’ll be happy if all you do is consume, consume, consume. But of course, you do have to consume to some degree. Eating is consumption. Breathing in is consumption. You can’t give a formula for the ideal balance between these two forces. That’s why it’s called balance. It’s done in real time, based on your specific situation, just like walking a tight rope. Maybe you need a big adjustment. Maybe you need a small one. Maybe you need more creator, maybe you need more consuming. I will say though, I would be biased towards being a creator. Most of our society is set up for you to just be a mindless consumer, and so it’s a safe bet that you likely need to be more of a creator in your life.

@Onecirrus Good insights. And you put it in your own words which shows that you likely are not just parroting other gurus. The only problem is that if you make it a rule that you will only go out when you’re already feeling “warm”, that is unlikely to ever happen. Most people need to warm up a bit. That’s why people like to pregame before they go party. There’s also valuable lessons to be learned by deliberately going from cold to warm. And you won’t learn those lessons if you avoid the cold phase.

The reason people are touchy-feely is because we are all witnessing the destruction of hyper-competition. That's what a stage Orange society is all about. So you have to swing the pendulum the other way, which may mean that you are against almost any kind of competition for a while (Green). Obviously the ideal is an integration between cooperation and competition, but that will take a long time for society to integrate. We still have many people who vehemently believe in hyper-competition.

This is going to end badly for you.

The best reason for starting a career with RSD would be that you’re walking into a engaged, groomed audience. They’ve already attracted the eyeballs for you. Then you’d have to deliver to keep them. You’d also get a huge social circle of people who are also interested in mastering social dynamics. That said, you certainly do not have to have a career with RSD if you choose to make this your life purpose. And in fact it may be smarter not to. I would only do that if you feel like that’s what you really want and you are seriously committed to that goal. In which case, get started now, because landing one of those instructor positions is not going to be easy. To your point about studying from masters, that is not equivalent to having a career with RSD. A career with them will involve many other variables than just being mentored. You could learn from the masters but make a completely different career choice. Really it is up to you. That’s the blessing and the curse of the life purpose. You are free to blaze your own path, which also includes the challenge of making hard decisions about what the pursue. Especially in our modern culture that suffers from shiny object syndrome. Whatever you choose, just get really good at it.

Glad to hear!

@KennedyCarter I've done a lot of balancing of my masculine / feminine over the years. When I was a boy, I often didn't resonate with hanging out with the other boys in my school. It just seemed like the whole purpose of guys getting together was to hurt each other, both physically and emotionally, as much as possible. And given I didn't have a lot of positive male role models in my life, I didn't really form a good relationship with masculinity. It wasn't until I went to an all-guys high school and joined a fraternity in college that I started to really appreciate this idea of "being a man". My understanding was immature, but I was beginning to see what masculinity could offer. As I come up on age 30, I feel much more balanced. I'll never fit some of the stereotypes around men, but I feel that I've begun to mix and match the feminine and masculine energies in my own way.

I'd like to get to the bottom of why you seriously just linked to Sean Hannity on this forum.

If he’s open to vipassana meditation, that could definitely help. Doing body scans is basically just feeling all the sensations going on in your body, without judging. Trauma can then be released as old energy surfaces and clears.

Oh I know. Your posts I’ve seen in the other subforums are often insightful. But when it comes to dating, your posts often miss. This is clearly a sore spot for you. And no shade by the way. I recognize it because I recognize it in myself. Happy to work with you if you want. It’s a really common pattern for guys. Traumatic past experiences -> learn to not feel your emotions -> become emotionally repressed adult.

Yup, no trauma at all in these statements. Sounds totally healthy.

She has repressed her sexuality. Nothing more to really say.

Oh god this was pure cringe. Everyone wants to be woke these days. I pity anyone who took this seriously.

You don’t need a CS degree for this man. Websites are just getting easier and easier to create these days. Feel and introspect on this emotion. What are you afraid of? What will happen if you make the wrong choice? Can you make a wrong choice? Get very specific. To your dilemma, it sounds to me like you should stick with engineering. But the reality is this decision is likely not nearly as significant as you feel it may be. You could graduate with an engineering degree at 21 and then decide to spend the next decade of your life becoming a poet. And you’d only still be 30. You simply don’t have to have all the answers at this point. It can be overwhelming having this many choices as far as what you should do with your career. So don’t get sucked into that if you can.

@Waves I also grew up with significant economic privilege. I think you're not in as bad of a place as you think you are. The reality is that the majority of people in society feel the way you feel, regardless of how they grew up financially. Yes, there may be some motivation towards action if you grew up poor in order to experience the opposite. But then what? That won't last forever. At some point, you have to go beyond being motivated purely by money anyway. It also assumes that making money is what motivates us in the first place. Obviously there's some truth to this, in that money is directly linked to our survival in modern society, thus obtaining it can be motivating. But what are we really talking about? Some pieces of paper? Digits in a computer? Money is made up. It can't possibly be your driving motivating force for life because it's not real. There's nothing there. These are all good things in general. I'd really recommend them to anyone. Some other ideas that maybe useful: Travel to 3rd world countries and experience poverty there Decide to limit your expenses to only the minimum wage for a period of time Spend some time in the Peace Corps All in all, realize your financial privilege is not a debilitation. Oh, you mean you're not motivated to participate in wage slavery? Color me shocked. I think your lack of motivation has far more to do with society itself than your specific financial condition. But you will have to explore. You will have to discover what you care about. So I'd use your situation to immerse yourself in as many experiences that seem interesting to you as possible.

That’s actually not that far off. I wouldn’t say God is trolling us, but why else are we here but to learn? And we have to be presented with both good and bad choices in order to learn. Only because both exist can we become wise.

@Shiva99 @Swarnim I think there's a couple of tiers of solutions: Tier 1: Shut up, grit your teeth and just discipline yourself to not do it anymore. The problem with this one of course is that it doesn't solve root cause, requires a lot of willpower and can be neurotic. Tier 2: Embrace it. I'd stay from porn, but you can turn masturbation into a conscious activity. Set a time to do it, slow it down, and treat it almost like a meditation where you're focusing on every sensation. You could also look up solo Tantric activities. Tier 3: Get a partner. This is the best option IMO and is how most people deal with this. But it may not be in the cards for you at the moment.

@Late Boomer What is the alternative? For me, once I understood that this is what I wanted my life to be about, just going back to simply meeting my survival needs seemed absurd. I'm not saying every option in the world is still available to you at 56. It's not, and that's okay. You don't need or even want every option available. There is never a time where you can't find something that is meaningful to YOU to do with your life. Following your highest excitement is available to you always. It might not make you millions dollars, but this ain't the "make millions of dollars" forum. The fact that you're feeling a bit confused and even lost can be a good sign. That's the first step to finding something new. We have to get lost first from whatever we were doing before.

Why do you still want to be a pro soccer player? What are you expecting will happen if you achieve that?

No one here can give you that answer. That’s the point. A life purpose doesn’t come in a box, it’s uniquely chosen and created by you. That point may seem trite but it’s significant. It means you have to be truly creative and a lot more “unknown” factor involved. Don’t expect too much too fast either. I’m approaching 30 and have been doing this work for years. Only now do I really feel like I’m starting to zero in on my LP. Everything else was just preparation. It might take you even longer. That said, there is of course guidance that can be given. At 21 I’d say you’re definitely on a good course. You’ve got a decent job that will handle your survival needs, but you’ve also found Actualized.org and therefore understand there can be so much more. And you’re already studying to make that happen. My advice to you then would be to just keep following what excites you. Experiment a lot. What do you WANT your career / LP to look like? What matters to you? What do you care about? Those are the more important questions.

I think the actual sex is only part of it. For a lot of us guys, there is a big aspect of validation that can come into it. If you “successfully” pick up a lot of girls, you feel better about yourself. Because that is what is cool and shows you are a desirable man. I remember even back in middle school, it was the guys who were “good with girls” who were respected by other guys and seemed to have the most friends. If girls didn’t like you and didn’t want to hook up with you, then you were a loser and labeled as such. And then through high school and college that only escalated. I’m not saying that’s a healthy way of thinking. But it is a pattern I’ve observed.

Sounds like you and your parents had some additional conversations. Are these their words? Regardless, I think going to college will not be such a bad option. It will give you time to explore and develop yourself. You’ll have fun. And yes you’ll have debt, but if you’re smart you can minimize the damage. I would really consider this not “college” but four years to discover and start working on your LP. Whether it’s engineering or something else, I wouldn’t just think about it as a stepping stone to a job. Think bigger about the whole thing. You have time and you’re not gonna starve. So be strategic. You may not nail down every detail of your LP by the time you graduate, but you can make significant progress if you take it seriously. Your other plan about moving to Miami was dubious. Not saying you couldn’t pull it off, and it’s good that you’re willing to eat shit for your dreams. I lived in Miami for several years doing something similar. But it is a brutal path. College will be gentler.

In my experience, you don’t necessarily need any ritual to talk to the angels or any other guides. Just talk. You can literally just think a thought right now and they will hear you. Or you could speak out loud if you want. This is how the best channels I know do it. It’s just very normal and conversational. More important is learning to listen to them. If you still want a ritual, that’s fine. Rituals can be powerful tools for the mind. I’d create one that has personal significance for you. Something that makes you feel tuned in, relaxed and in a state of receptivity.

I've recommended Slow Sex by Diana Richardson many times. Totally shifted my perspective on sexuality and what the goal of it should be.

Traveling is good, but in my experience you will eventually hit diminishing returns in terms of growth. You’ll most likely want to settle some where and plant roots. The plus is that traveling can expose you to new experience to help you find out what your interests are. So if you feel you just lack experience, this is a good choice. The negative is that traveling won’t really let you commit to anything too deeply. And all the new options you are presented with can actually become overwhelming. So be aware of that.