aurum

I agree, he seems mostly peak Yellow to me. He clearly has had some nondual experiences and is open to spirituality, which makes him very different than Orange. And he's much more systemic, self-aware and integrated than Green. But he seems to be holding onto materialism to a certain degree.

@Sustainable Keanan I’m very into these kind of ideas. You might like this:

@JosephKnecht I watched this when it came out, really excellent. Refreshing to hear some deep, nuanced dialogue. The last half hour or so they get into some nice epistemology. I'll be following this as well.

@Lyubov Are we all sorting out our bad boy / bad girl issues this week? Then you haven't experienced enough pain yet . The wrong girl will literally ruin your life. It could push you to suicide. Then you haven't met the right ones. A girl who is really integrated will blow your mind. But you also have to appreciate what they're bringing to the table. If you're addicted to drama, anything that isn't drama will seem boring by comparison. But of course it's not boring, it's way better. But you have to have the palate for it. It's like sitting and appreciating nature. If you're over-stimulated from modern society, doing something like just watching nature seems incredibly boring. But it's actually fascinating if you can stop being such a junkie.

So would you say you subscribe to a sort of Hobbsian, survival of the fittest view of nature and human history? Or are you just trying to hit us over the head with survival so we'll recognize how biased and selfish we acting? Maybe both? It's something I'm curious about because my study of history, biology and my own experience has lead me to slightly different conclusions. But perhaps I'm not understanding your argument. I agree, sexuality is more complex than we often say. Undoubtedly it boils down to meeting some sort of "need", but what is that "need"? That part is not so obvious. If we consider that there is inherently a spiritual component to sex, where we desire to actually dissolve our ego, it becomes even less obvious to me how sex can only be about survival. What would you consider a choice based on higher consciousness when it comes to sex?

We need to define what we mean by "an asshole" and "masculinity". Some of the women in this thread seem to be picturing a guy who just runs around insulting people and slapping drinks out of their hands. Such a guy would be demonstrating low social intelligence and would be unlikely to have strong social ties. Not going to be attractive, even from the most selfish survival perspective. The women also seem to be conflating what they want in a man with physical attraction. I.e, the kind of guy I'm looking for isn't an asshole, so this can't be correct. Because they seek intimacy and connection, an asshole does not fit that picture. He will not meet those needs. The men are essentially arguing these are two different phenomena, and that you can be attracted to a guy who you know is not overall what you want and is not good for you. Hence the stereotype of women coming back again and again to the "bad boy" that hurts them. Also that higher consciousness traits like kindness are only desirable to women once they are already attracted to a man, as this allows her to not get screwed over by that same lower consciousness behavior. The men seem to be picturing an "asshole" as someone who is socially dominant and aggressive in going after what they want. Even if it boarders on the sociopathic. Such a man would likely have many social connections and resources. Teal's argument in the video is that women are not inherently physically attracted to low empathy, selfish type of behavior. That this is actually a shadow of real masculinity. And that any attraction is only for other reasons, e.g that he displays other masculine qualities or that she is reacting a past emotional trauma. Since most "kind" men have been emasculated, she must take the good with the bad in many cases. Leo and others are arguing that low empathy, selfish type of behavior is inherently physically attractive due to survival gains from that behavior. And that actually developing empathy can reduce one's attractiveness in the eyes of women as it weakens one's desire to assert their own survival agenda. Empathy and other similar traits are desirable in long term relationships, but it has little to no relevance for short term attraction. This whole debate seems to rest on top of a deeper question, which is what does it mean to be human? What are we really "wired" for? Are we wired for selfishness, survival and low consciousness behavior? Or are we wired for something "higher"?

Better but keep working on it. It still feels incongruent to me. That’s the problem with just copying lines, they almost never come off as authentic. Here you go from nice guy asking about her travels to “stay away, I’m a bad boy” real quick. @Ghost gave you pretty good advice as well. A challenge that is fun is usually always good.

Now it feels way too aggressive to me. Keep it light and fun. You're supposed to like each other. Maybe take out the "dumb BS talk" line entirely. Also, I'd be more specific. "Thrill seeker and adventure enthusiast" just doesn't feel like it actually says anything about you. That could mean almost anything. Same thing with your qualifier, it's kind of vague. For instance, in my profile I have a line that says "Falls victim to accents & long hair". Which is true. It's a qualifier but not in a way that's so aggressive. Girls who have an accent and long hair will feel chosen, those who don't, won't. Spaces too. Nobody wants to read a block of text.

@Lyubov I’m not loving your bio. It’s cool that you like to travel and that can communicate high value things. But honestly almost every guy says the same thing. I’d take it out. Also I’d definitely take out the “if that matters to you”. Just put “6’1” with no explanation. You don’t need to justify yourself. Also also, I don’t like the and “on tinder for the memes” line. If you’re just on tinder for the memes, why should she take you seriously? She’s trying to fuck, not gain a meme buddy. You could keep the “find a nice office boy” line. But it needs to feel congruent with the rest of your profile and your messaging. Otherwise, if you seem like this super nice guy and then drop that line, she’s going to be like ??? It just doesn’t fit. So yeah I’d basically just rewrite all of that. Put at least one real solid qualifier in there too. Something that says “this is what I’m looking for” without necessarily being so serious about it. Then when girls who match that description read that, they’ll be happy.

Sure, women can be attracted to those kind of guys. And they might really appreciate that in a relationship. But if we're talking about quantity of one night stands, I'll put my money on your stereotypical club promoter / bartender / frat boy any day. I think it's important to acknowledge the difference, because then it means as a guy you have to make a choice. What really matters to me? Is having sex with the most number of girls really what's most important? If being a fulfilled, higher consciousness person means I don't get laid as much with random girls, am I okay with that? Do I want quantity, or do I want quality? The universe is always testing our wisdom . And of course it's not a black or white. Maybe a little club promoter / fuck boy phase meets your needs for awhile. It might also teach your valuable lessons. So it really depends on the person and where they are at.

@Lyubov Post the convos and I’ll give you my best read. I’m sure others will want to as well. The general gist is in the beginning is to keep it light, fun, confident, and subtlety sexual. That’s what flirting is. Make sure your profile is solid too. You’re getting matches, which is obviously a good sign, but a good profile can solve a lot of what looks like messaging problems.

Yeah you got the right idea. I find it’s even simpler than that. When it’s discovered that two people can meet each others needs, a meetup just becomes the next obvious step in that process. Yeah I have a love/hate relationship with social media as well. In some ways it’s great. In other ways it makes me want to throw my phone in a river and never look at it again. But regardless it’s here and it’s the dominant social force in our culture. So until I get a better plan I’m choosing to use it. For the purpose of meeting people through cold approach, the best app is easily Instagram. Everyone has one and everyone assumes you have one as well. And it lets people check you out quickly and get an idea of what you’re about. Tiktok or snapchat as well are up there depending on the age of people you’re talking to. As far as phone numbers, you can still use them. But I actually prefer IG these days. Less investment but also can give people a much larger window into who you are.

You're welcome. No intentions definitely do not have to be explicit. Especially when it comes to dating, usually there's more subtlety. But it's not a hard and fast rule. You could say "hey I'm practicing my social skills", and as long as you own it and demonstrate that you know how weird of a thing that is to say, you might be able to pull it off. If you meet someone and you want them to be a business partner, as some point you're probably going to have to say "hey, we should go partner on X business project". So take it case by case. Also, you need to be getting the contact info and setting up some sort of future event with every person you meet who you like. If you have a good conversation, don't just end it. We're vibing, why are you going to kill it now? Set something up, and do it right then and there. Get their Instagram, get their snapchat, phone number or whatever so you can coordinate. So maybe you happen to meet someone who is also into non-duality and you hit it off. "Cool, hey I know this meditation event that's coming up. Do you wanna go? Oh you do? Cool, let me get your instagram and I'll send you the link". Boom. That's why you want to know what you're looking for. If you didn't know there was a meditation event coming up and that you wanted to go with people, then you couldn't pull off that example.

@RendHeaven It's good that you're doing this. Society is basically set up in a way that disincentivizes strangers from meeting. So you're breaking some of that conditioning. I think your problem is that you just need to focus it more. It's good that you're stopping me on the street to say hi, but why are you doing that? Are you just being friendly? Are we going to party together? Are we going to date? Are we going to start a business? Do we have similar interests we enjoy talking about? What is the purpose of this communication? Obviously you may not know in the beginning. You may have to talk to that person first to find out. But know why you're doing what you're doing and what you're looking for. Human relationships depend on us meeting each others needs. If there's no needs being met, you don't have a relationship. You just have a couple sitting around wondering why they're talking to each other. So be more intentional in what you're doing. Obviously just saying "hi" can be a big deal if you're extremely nervous, but you want to get beyond that.

Holy shit that is amazing. She knows everything about narcissism, but couldn’t apparently see it in Trump. It isn’t just about the conservative echo chamber. These people are desperate. Storming the capitol probably gave their lives meaning again. They know something is wrong, but they don’t know why. It also says she was in bad financial condition, which made her susceptible to conspiracies. Ironic when you consider that dems and progressives would have likely provided a much more stable financial condition for everyone.

@blackchair I'm against fracking, but I highly doubt Biden will be doing anything about it. Fracking has helped the US become a dominant force in the energy source wars. It's a big part of our economy. And there's a lot of wealthy people behind it that would like that to stay the way it is. This is what makes issues like fracking so complex. I think we can all intuit that it's not good for the environment and it needs to stop. But then you have all these systemic, economic and geopolitical forces that make that change challenging.

Yes, Nevada is a “leader”. It’s not at all about them doing shady things to out compete other states. This is the shit-show that happens when you have bad Game Theory.

@Skenderberg The issue is way more complicated than you are making it. Your bias and cynicism is obvious. There are nuanced arguments to be made against the measures being taken to prevent Covid, but this ain't it.

@Twega It's a really nuanced question. Monogamy can certain be wonderful and beautiful and fulfilling for some people. Monogamy could also be coping and denial for some people. And the same thing could be said for polyamory. I've never personally done polyamory, but from what I've heard it's extremely difficult to pull off. Not only does it take a tremendous amount of time, it's also extremely emotionally taxing. Imagine all the emotional work of being in a relationship with someone, but now you've got even more people involved. And everyone's trauma is coming up and it's just a complex mess. I have heard some people say polyamory is easier in the right community / environment. But I have no experience in this area so it's hard for me to say.

@Twega Ironically, if they succeed in bring mushrooms to the general public at scale, we'll become so conscious that it'll destroy their business model .

It certainly can become a distraction. But then again, anything can become a distraction so that's not saying much. However, I don't believe it's inherently a distraction. I believe both inner work to change our state of consciousness and outer work to heal the world can synergize nicely. Really, you need both. Activism without consciousness quickly devolves into an Us vs Them stage green type of shadow. Tons of victim consciousness or painting oneself as the hero, as well as not appreciating the deep systemic nature of our problems and the complexity of solving them. It's not grounded in someone who has taken the time to connect with Spirit and has melted many of their biases. Turning inward without activism looks like a bunch of people sitting on a yoga mat doing spiritual bypassing and thinking they can "create their own reality" while corrupt institutions and systems destroy the planet. I don't believe we have to fall into either trap. The world of activism and spirituality can merge. In the hippy generation, a lot of it was. For people struggling to merge these worlds, I'd refer you to the work of Andrew Harvey. Feels very Green to me, but still worth looking at. Green is what we mostly need.

That's the question I've been asking for a long time. If the "old world" is crumbling, what does the "new world" look like, and how do we get there? What I've found is that it's not one answer. It's a synthesis of changes to a wide variety of institutions and systems. Changes in economics, politics, media, agriculture, technology, ecology, health-care, relationship dynamics, law, education and just about anything else you can think of. Seek and you will find. The answers, at least the best answers we can come up with at this moment, are out there.

I’m not following. What would be an example of what you’re speaking about?

I believe your intuition is correct. If we are playing a fundamentally rivalrous game such as capitalism, and a company declares that they are acting in a non-rivalrous way, then our suspicion is that this is simply another rivalrous strategy. In such a game, companies that act rivalrous win and get selected for in a type of "economic natural selection". Companies that do not lose the game and therefore go out of existence. I believe people mistakenly think capitalism is non-rivalrous because of the opportunities for collaboration. You and I can start a business together and both make money, or we could do some sort of cross promotion where we both make sales. But micro-level cooperation does not negate macro-level rivalry. Especially not when even at the micro-level, I can potentially defect on our cooperation and be better off (e.g business partner cheating another business partner). Companies could have a conscience. But we have to examine what the rules of the game are and structure for non-rivalry in order for that to really be convincing. I think we can look at this question both from an individual level and collective level. On an individual level, a lot of concrete action arises naturally from that state of consciousness. I am naturally inspired to help someone, or read something, or plant a tree, or who knows. The goal on the individual level should be to be highly tuned into one's intuition. Which requires constant listening and awareness. That may not be as concrete as you were looking for, but to me it's the foundation. On a collective level, an empathetic sense of care will look like changing our systems, most notably the economic system. Which will move us into a place to heal the ecological and social crises we face.