aurum

Yes undoubtedly there is potential for abuse. Likely more and more stories will come out of people having “VR addiction” or something similar.

What do you mean by rules?Government usually steps in to regulate new tech.

@Thought Art Awesome. Have you signed The Pickup Contract? This is a cool exercise I’ve been doing lately whenever I start a new endeavor that feels maybe a little out of my comfort zone. Essentially you write up a contract with the universe where you commit to experiencing ALL known potential downsides and upsides you can think of in your new project. So something like, “I, ThoughtArt, commit to at least 500 rejections, looking like a fool in front of X person(s), low sleep, blowing interactions at the last minute, fights with wings, heartbreak, etc. I also commit to great sex, improving my social skills, becoming a more attractive man, etc”. You can make The Contract as long as you want and include whatever feels relevant. The point is to identify any resistance you have and consciously work through it, while also focusing on the upsides and getting excited about it. Combine those two and you can manifest pretty much anything. If you can’t commit to a potential downside because it seems too painful, that’s alright. Notice that. What’s that about? Of course if a downside does not occur, it’s not like you have to make it happen. It’s about YOUR resistance, not what will happen “in reality”. And when a downside does come, you will be less reactive because, well duh. You knew this was coming. You signed up for this. You chose it.

@BuddhistLover What do you mean by lap dog? The focus should be on creating financial independence via your life purpose.

@Bob Seeker you don’t need to be high energy all the time at night. But you should generally be enjoying yourself. Enjoy the music, enjoy dancing, enjoy talking to people, etc. You might be surprised too how much the vibe of the club can suck you in. You might not think of yourself as a high energy person, but the club can reveal a whole different side of yourself. Maybe one you didn’t even know you had.

@AliceK your bf sounds like he is being cheap to me. Which usually stems from fear. A conversation may or may not change things. But it needs to be had. It may be scary or uncomfortable, but at the same time, mature relationships require this sort of communication.

These are all your fears / limiting beliefs exposing themselves. I’m refraining from giving you an internet punch in the face.

That’s not really what I was getting at. I’m uncomfortable with being too critical of Leo. I feel he tends to gets more than enough flack around here. In general I’d like to see more Leo appreciation.

Who cares? You work on your game until the day you die.

He has subtle frames and beliefs about dating, sexuality and socializing that are distorted. Possibly because of negative experiences growing up, possibly because of his time in the PUA community, possibly both. I agree with his advice on the whole though. Most guys need to learn to become attractive, socially calibrated men. And part of that involves getting real experience with real women.

I was referring to the book. It seems very stage Green at first glance. Not available to read yet.

@Epikur Seems very stage Green / tier 1 just from reading the title / description. Still in the frame of “progressives vs conservatives”.

@Fredodoow It’s a tough call. You have to decide what your highest priority is. If you’re really dedicated to improving with women, you may have to move to Paris for at least a year. You can try day game or doing game before 10pm, but that will have obvious downsides. You won’t have great logistics and you won’t really be able to do night game. Most people don’t move to the city for the pure air. They are there because of the opportunities that come from living in the city. Maybe one day our cities will have pure air and be as peaceful as living in the country, but they right now they usually aren’t. So you gotta do the best you can. I live in a major city because I want the benefits of a major city, and it’s worth it to me to suffer some negative consequences from that. But also, I’ve chosen a city with great nature access so I can still catch my breath when I need. Find what works for you.

@Antor8188 there are problems with Leo’s advise but this is not one of them. This thread should be locked for low quality.

@Striving for more I like Huberman a lot, seems like a really charismatic guy. He’s just very much a scientist who takes a scientific perspective towards just about everything. Nothing wrong with that persay, but if you’re not that much of a science nerd than Huberman is likely not going to be for you.

Pretty good article, props to Yang for this one. This topic is not well understood by a lot of people. I believe that if we look at some of the worst examples of how men are showing up (Blackpill / redpill, homelessness, alt-right ideology, school shootings, PUA), none of this is because men are thriving. These groups and ideologies are forming precisely because men in many ways are NOT thriving. If you want to get rid of these groups, which I would assume progressives would, then it makes sense to care that men are healthy. Healthy men is better for all of society, women included. And it doesn’t have to come at the expense of feminism. Yes, injustice is not always equal and that needs to be acknowledged. But the wars between MRAs and feminists are largely nonproductive.

It’s possible that was just a token objection. But assuming she was serious, then she’s right to “reject” you. You’re clearly not compatible for a long term relationship. If it was a token objection, then the key is to just make a joke of it. Don’t take it too serious, stay in your frame.

Curious to see what your perspective would be if you read the book I mentioned above. She definitely does not recommend just killing all bacteria, but she does include Listerine and a few other mouthwashes in her system. Personally, the mouthwashes are the part I am most skeptical about as well. But I figured I’d play full out if I was going to follow her advise. So far seems pretty good, especially for my gums. No signs of gingivitis anymore.

@Phil King Biggest difference I’ve found was diet. If you don’t eat acidic foods that disrupt your oral microbiome, that will go a long way. I’ve also been following the system outlined in this book: https://www.amazon.com/Kiss-Your-Dentist-Goodbye-Yourself-ebook/dp/B009LPLMRU/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=21SOWDYO471W2&keywords=ellie+dentist&qid=1647923633&sprefix=ellie+deni%2Caps%2C448&sr=8-3 She’s a periodontist with I think a good balanced perspective. Not too woo-woo, but not stuck in the dogma of dental medicine from 50 years ago either. Her system might be overkill but it seems like it’s working great for me. My teeth and gums look much healthier than when I started.

@Tudo cool kids are mostly wearing hip-hop clothing in clubs these days. Chukkas are nice as long as they match the rest of your outfit. Dark, fitted jeans and fitted collar shirt is usually safe. V-neck tshirts can be alright too depending on where you’re going.

Think about it as the lens that you view reality through. So let’s say your “frame” is that you’re an attractive man who knows what he is doing, and so it’s totally normal for you to date women who might be older than you. She might have a different frame, i which case she sees any guy younger than her as a little boy she’d never get involved with. Now when these two people meet in the context of dating, there will be “frame battle”. Whose frame is the “right” frame? What is the correct way to view reality in this situation? Typically, the winner of these frame battles is the one with the most certainty in their frame. To “hold your frame” would mean that you remain certain in your perspective even as their frame is challenging and conflicting with yours. The somewhat scary thing here is that you can win just about any frame battle as long as you are certain enough. That’s basically what Donald Trump did. It’s also what a good lawyer, politician or PR agent does. You don’t necessarily need substance or truth on your side.

@ZenSwift It’s not some different “frame” than any other situation. Lead, be confident, be on your purpose, be wise, etc. Basically just offer healthy masculine energy. I dated two girls who were a couple years older than me. If we had a conversation logically about age, they usually wouldn’t like the idea that I was younger. But when I was in my healthy masculine, they basically just forgot about age. Literally, they would say things like “I keep forgetting you’re younger than me”. So age is sort of like being tall. In theory, women really like it because it creates a feeling where they are safe, being contained, being protecter, being lead, etc. That’s very attractive for women. And of course there is some corollary to you being able to do these things and your age. Young guys usually don’t have that confidence yet. But it’s not actually about age or being tall. You can create that same feeling basically no matter how old or how tall you happen to be. It all comes down to your behavior and your mindset.

Yeah you may want to use this time to work on your fear of singing in front of your family. But I wouldn’t keep yourself from moving out for that reason. There will be plenty of opportunities for you to face your fear outside your parent’s house.

Just let her be for now. Don’t be pushy about it. And It’s good that you are sharing your feelings with each other, but you need to do it at some point sober. The alcohol is helping you get over your fear but it’s also makes things sloppy. Drunk commitments usually don’t go anywhere. So give it a little time. And then sack up and have a conversation. “hey X, can we talk about the other night?” Something like that.

@SamC if it’s a girl I met five minutes ago, than no. You don’t owe her an explanation about anything personal. And I also will not be asking her. In a longer term relationship, I still don’t think it’s that big a deal. But I do think it’s a problem if you can’t at least have an honest conversation about it. Yes, I’ve told girls my body count and the universe didn’t explode. Of course if the other party is going to use that information to shame or attack you, that’s not cool either.