aurum

Hi ? That’s a good list. So now that you’ve identified your ideal guy, see if you can do the opposite and make his list. What is he looking for? What would he write down if he did that exercise? If you don’t know right now, that’s alright. Just be curious about it and hold it in mind. Step into his shoes. So first I would notice that thinking about what you really wanted was a bit scary and triggering for you. You’re experiencing both the excitement of what you want and the fear you won’t get it. I’m not suggesting any of us are going to find a perfect partner. Such a person obviously does not exist and would likely be extremely boring if they did. But we can still have a fulfilling relationship by going through the messy process of being together, together. Part of the reason for doing this exercise is also to identify areas where maybe you’re not currently a match to the relationship you want. This can get ugly and shove some of our shortcoming in our face. For instance, if you identify that your ideal guy highly values health, but you yourself do not value health and healthy living, there’s likely to be a mismatch. And so you may have to make some changes. This is personal development. Are you the person your partner is calling in? We all have to face this question at some point as honestly as we can.

@assx95 Good. Approaching is all about momentum and staying out of your head about it. If you have that, you’re golden. If you don’t, good luck. The way you build that momentum is basically just by approaching no matter what, which is what you discovered. Those painful experiences where you’re just walking around the bar, too scared to approach anyone, can be a valuable learning experience. But only if you take the lesson and course correct. See if you can do 25+ approaches in one night.

Value is always subjective and relative to what people want. So different people are going to value very different things. If I’m a guy that values materialism, I am going to value a girl who also likely values materialism and supports my materialist values. Likewise, a guy who values intimacy or connection in a relationship will seek out a girl who provides that. So the question is NOT “how do I be valuable to all guys?”. The question I would ask is “how do I be valuable to the guys I also value?”. Otherwise you will simply to trying to please every guy you meet, including one’s who you don’t even want to attract. So maybe make a list. What do the guys I want value? You should just be able to look at their behavior and get some clues. Personally, here is a short list of some of the things I look for: 1) A desire for self-actualization and spiritual work 2) Good communication and relationship skills 3) Good friends 4) A job / career they feel good about (unless they feel good about not working) 5) Playfulness, sense of humor 6) Authenticity and freedom of expression 7) Ability to get along with my friends and family 8) Good fashion sense 9) Looks 10) Shared lifestyle goals That sounds good. You won’t, but that’s okay too.

You could put it that way. Practically speaking it can certainly seem like a test. At deeper levels of consciousness, we can also see that nothing is outside of God. So there is no one to “test” God but God. You are testing yourself.

@Someone here fasting is not for building muscle. If you want to put on size, you need to do the opposite and eat like crazy. What I’d recommend instead is the following: 1) Eat a clean diet. This is critical. Many people put on fat simply because of what they eat. 2) Intermittent fasting. This will give you time in a more catabolic state for using fat, without necessarily cutting calories or nutrition. 3) Move your body. Take cold showers. Sauna. Basically, find ways to burn energy. 4) Hypertrophy lifting. A 5x5 Starting Strength program in the gym is nice, but that’s not really going to help you put on muscle size. You need a higher rep range and less recovery time in between sets. Do all that for one year + and you should see a noticeable difference.

Think dualities. You cannot have up without down, left without right, or “magnificent” without mundane, knowing without not-knowing, remembering without forgetting. They all require their opposite pole to exist at all, because they are relative. That sounds basically right to me. Everything is technically God connecting with God, but we could say that playing a musical instrument creates and reflects a more pronounced connection or awareness.

@pablo_aka_god It is common to hit a peak and then have a bit of a crash. Use that as motivation for your baseline consciousness work. And to work on some of the more practical aspects of your life. How can you create more experiences like that on a regular basis, besides just taking mushrooms?

@onacloudynight Yes you can, but you also need to be self-aware and honest about your motivations. If you truly just don’t want to talk to her because she looks like she is having a bad night, you can do that. You obviously don’t have to talk to anyone. But also be aware if that’s just an excuse. In practice, it’s usually better for guys who are afraid to approach women to eliminate as many excuses as possible.

Your life purpose will only be strengthened if it is connected to solving real problems for humanity. In fact, anything short of that would be a shallow life purpose. If you experience personal success, it should be because you helped people. Spiritual work will dispel you of any illusions surrounding your motivation to do help society. This is true. And in that case, you may suffer from becoming demotivated at times. You may even change careers or dropout of working altogether. No one can really predict. But ultimately, assuming you’re really doing the work, this is actually growth and necessary purification. Given that you live in modern society and have the needs of a modern person, you need some sort of career. Even if it’s outside the box. Awakening will not change that. You will still have to do practical things to survive if you want to live. The deepest trap with getting obsessed with your LP is that you get so wrapped up in it that you forget to awaken. It is a trap, but a high quality trap.

@Axiomatic You’re chasing this girl, not attracting her. The difference is one of how she perceives your value. Do you see yourself as a “catch”? And do your actions reflect that? Desperation is not attractive. Consider what energy you might be putting out.

@Ampresus I like it. My only minor critique would be that “life game” as he describes it is not great for new guys learning game. Guys who are new often have spent years unwillingly in platonic situations with girls because they’re playing it so safe. So safe they never make a move even when it’s appropriate. And then they usually try to compensate for that by dumping a whole bunch of interest at the girl at once, who is confused because they had be friends for years. I.e the friend zone. These kind of guys need to practice being way more direct. They need to express their interest and their needs in a way that is clear and risks rejection. Once you can do that with confidence, then you’re ready to practice something like Life Game. That’s more advanced and requires more social tact. Alternatively, you could just live in a place like Miami or Vegas and perpetually run direct cold approach your whole life. But the downside there is that you won’t have as many skills to succeed in more of a social circle environment.

Which was? Then how are you defining game? When most guys talk about game, they’re speaking about talking / interacting with women in a way where they find you attractive and are interested in some sort of non-platonic relationship. “Getting laid a lot” would certainly fall under that category. Although it’s a limited view of what game can be. I acknowledge that.

@NoSelfSelf I don’t think you’re wrong, I just think there’s a lot more nuance to be added. It’s overly simplistic to say that game is just about your inner beliefs and emotions. While technically accurate, we have to understand what a theoretical statement like that actually means and looks like IRL. Otherwise, it’s easily misinterpreted. You might think that having low self-esteem would stop you from getting laid a lot. That’s sort of what is sold to guys by more benevolent dating coaches. They basically convince you that higher self-esteem = more girls. Therefore, you are motivated to actually go and work on that. Which is good. But it’s not the full picture. The guys I know who get laid the most are often at the bottom tier of being psychologically healthy. These are guys who have probably laid at least 100+ women in their life, or are on their way there. And they’re usually pretty obviously damaged. Sometimes they break out of that mode and heal, but the reverse almost never happens. I almost never see a guy heal and THEN go have sex with 100+ women. He’s too fulfilled to value doing that. Of course if you have no confidence or sense of competency with women, that will be a barrier. And you’ll need to work on that. But that mostly just comes from experience and repetition. You can bang a lot of women and still be very broken. You do not need to be this super self-actualized individual for women to be interested in sleeping with you. This is NOT to say that you shouldn’t continue working on healing and self-esteem. Or that guys with high self-esteem can’t get laid or it never helps them. Self-esteem can be extremely valuable in a long term relationship and will add to your life overall in a very positive way. There is a gray area where dating and self-improvement overlap. But that work should be grounded in proper expectations, not fantasies about becoming some enlightened MPUA.

@machinegun I haven’t taken it but I suspect that you’ll get out what you put into it. If you’re just begrudgingly going through the videos and haphazardly doing the exercises, I can’t imagine you’ll get much value out of that. The main value of courses like these is that they stimulate your own thinking. They require your full engagement.

Yes that’s a much harder boundary. I’d be more aggressive at that point. My post was more general.

He definitely was trying to get the upper hand on you. At times if I felt like the girl wasn’t invested in the guy, I would just literally ask the girl for her hands and physically walk somewhere else with her. No need to debate or fight, just move. He’s then kind of stuck because if he comes running after you, he looks like a total clown. Sometimes you gotta dig in and mix it up a bit. I don’t recommend getting overly aggressive or butthurt in the beginning. That’s a last resort only if a guy seriously crosses a line. They you may have to get a bit assertive and “in his face”. Most of the time though, your best bet is to keep it playful and stay in your frame in the early stages. “Hey nice earrings” “Oh thanks bro, they match my outfit”. or ”Oh thanks bro, I made them myself”. Something like this. Bonus points if you can throw in a light-hearted tease at the girl you’re talking to at the same time. If you do this right, he may not escalate beyond that initial comment. He will get a sense that you’re cool and not to push it. If he does, then you may have to ramp it up. These situations are always different, so it’s not about memorizing a bunch of AMOG tactics. It’s more about developing a social intuition for what’s appropriate.

Why not call them out? It’s kind of important, I’d be curious to know. If they’re really Yellow, probably what you’re noticing is their multi-perspectival and spiral wizardry at play. An integrated person at Yellow would recognize what value conservatism has to offer, while avoiding more toxic elements since they’ve also been through Green. In other words, Yellow’s perspective is much more nuanced and flexible than Green. They can see the value in moving through stages of development, rather than demanding others be at their stage. Still though they are not perfect. It’s possible to have a high degree of consciousness / cognitive development but not necessarily be educated on modern politics. Politics is a domain of mastery in of itself that takes constant and deliberate effort to understand. So it’s possible someone at Yellow could make errors in their political philosophy. And of course there’s still just general human error and bias.

I just wanted to let everyone know Kendrick Lamar sampled Eckhart Tolle in his newest album. My life is complete. Edit: he actually did it three times

Interesting development. That definitely is shady that she seemed so close with the crew. You could argue they must have had a falling out, but that seems unlikely to me. They clearly were already pretty deep into filming and must have known who Teal is and what she is about. Hard to believe they suddenly had a change of heart because of something they saw. There certainly is also a possible financial incentive to slam Teal. I’m sure that film was expensive, and “dangerous cult leader” sells pretty well. Especially when you consider that Teal’s online message actually asks people to confront their own shit. The documentary may have exposed some shitty things in her business, like poor boundaries between her and employees, but it’s looking to me like the documentary was pretty hyperbolic at least. It will be interesting to see if new information continues to come out.

I know you’re asking Leo, but I dealt with this a lot going out in Miami. Basically, it becomes extremely obvious why guys would want to be a celebrity. There are definitely upsides. It can make you feel insecure because trying to compete on a material level is damn near impossible. Everything is just more competitive. Dudes with more money, more status, more game etc. Even just getting into the club on the best nights can be a bitch. The good news though is that relative success is still very much possible. I think it’s good to let the competition inspire you to become better, but you don’t want that insecurity to spill over into self-defeat. Like Leo said, most guys don’t approach or don’t know how to. So that is sort of a secret weapon you can use lol. As long you consistently go out and put in the work, you can still meet girls.

Why was your state so bad? What triggered you? Dates are usually fun. It definitely sounds to me like a disproportionate response to the situation at hand, which indicates perhaps some trauma resurfacing. Which you may need to heal to really resolve this. Well you could try things like pregaming the date with good music, friends, comedy etc. You could also try planning an activity that you like doing and have some expertise in. But really you shouldn’t need too much of a strategy to have fun on a date. Talking with the girl, being social and getting to know her IS the fun thing. That’s the real gold. So enjoy it.

He’s extremely good at social circle building and meeting girls who are stereotypically considered “9s and 10s”. Definitely is the real deal when it comes to that. Whether his program is decent or not, I don’t know. I would give him the benefit of the doubt considering his personal success. I’m sure most guys could learn a lot.

My point is that if your goal is truly consciousness work / healing, it’s not necessary to mix substances. Both Aya and mushrooms are plenty powerful on their own. You can always do a higher dose. But by mixing, you are adding extra variables and risk into something that already has a decent level of risk to it. Therefore, I question someone’s intentions for wanting to do something like this. Do it if you want. I’m not your shaman. But I don’t see the point. Feels reckless.

Honestly this is probably the best thing you could be doing. My breakup advice is almost always the same. Go sit somewhere and do nothing for a while. Your mind is going to spin all sorts of painful thoughts. You’ll probably cry until you have a headache. All normal. Just be with your pain. Like the same way you would be with your young daughter if she was going through a hard breakup.

You’re probably a little old to seriously date 21 year olds anymore. But 37 ain’t bad at all in general. Especially if you’ve been working on yourself. You could even still be peaking. And if do got some gaps, all that is somewhat within your ability to improve. You can go to the gym, you can shave your head, you can get cool clothes, you can work on your charisma, etc.